I know who I am going to vote for.

After reading all the endorsements, watching all the advertisements, reading all the news stories and weighing all of the pros and cons, I know who I'm going to vote for tomorrow.

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What? You expected me to tell you?

No, it doesn't work like that.

In this country, you get to decide who you are going to vote for. Don't let anyone else tell you who you are going to vote for. Don't let Clint Eastwood tell you to vote for Willard Romney, don't let The Springfield Republican tell you to vote for Barack Obama and don't let me tell you to vote for Gary Johnson because the other two guys are boobs.

You need to decide for yourself who to vote for.

Besides, it doesn't matter who you vote for. You live in Massachusetts and that means your electoral college votes will more than likely go to the democrat.

Lets look at the history of my vote and how flacid & worthless it was:

• Despite the fact that I voted for Gerald Ford in 1976, all fourteen of Massachusetts electoral votes went to Jimmy Carter.
• Thankfully, my vote mattered in both 1980 and 1984 when I voted for Ronald Reagan and so did everyone else on the planet.
• Despite the fact that I voted for George HW Bush in 1988, all thirteen of Massachusetts electoral votes went to Michael Dukakis.
• Despite the fact that I voted for George HW Bush in 1992, all twelve of Massachusetts electoral votes went to Bill Clinton.
• Despite the.... Wait. Never mind, I didn't vote for Bob Dole in 1996, I voted for Clinton. Dole was a boob.
• Despite the fact that I voted for George Bush in 2000, all twelve of Massachusetts electoral votes went to Al Gore.
• Despite the fact that I voted for George Bush in 2004, all twleve of Massachusetts electoral votes went to John Kerry.
• Despite the fact that I voted for John McCain in 2008, all twelve of Massachusetts electoral votes went to Barack Obama.

Do you see the pattern there? It doesn't matter which candidate for President that you vote for because this state will give the eleven electoral college votes it currently has to the Democrat.

If you want your vote to matter, there are two places you can go that elect their federal leaders by the popular vote - Canada or Mexico. Move to either one and your vote will always matter.

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If you are still confused, perhaps this qoute from Dave Barry will help:

"The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management skills of celery. They're the kind of people who'd stop to help you change a flat, but would somehow manage to set your car on fire. I would be reluctant to entrust them with a Cuisinart, let alone the economy. 

The Republicans, on the other hand, would know how to fix your tire, but they wouldn't bother to stop because they'd want to be on time for Ugly Pants Night at the country club."

I hope that helps you decide.

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Here are a few links you can click on:

• Key phrase in this story: "Making a rare Western Massachusetts appearance...."



• Here's your Naked Guy in the News story.



• Hey kids! Don't smoke crack. You never know where it's been.