Busy day, no post

I'll have stuff tomorrow.

Until then, here's a few links:

• Fashion: I don't get it.



• Australia: What doesn't try to kill ya, kills things that try to kill ya.



• I've been to Mexico. I have no desire to ever go back.

Nice wins yesterday, bad loss today

The Red Sox beat up on the Guardians last night, winning 8-0.

Today, however, was not great. They lost to the Guardians 6-4.

They didn't win the series but at least they didn't get swept.

They are heading back to Boston (where they don't play all that great) where tomorrow they will start a three-game series against the Cubs.

⧫
The Bruins and the Maple Leafs played hard last night. It was a great game to watch and in the end, the Bruins came out on top, beating the Maple Leafs 4-2.

That win puts the Bruins up 2-1 in the best-of-seven series.

Next game is Saturday. Puck drops at 8:00.

⧫
Trump is a spoiled child and Bill Barr is an idiot...

⧫
No sports tonight and I am out of DVRs. Guess I'll be watching some youtubes.

Here are some links:

• If you are looking for a place with it's very own jail cell, look no further.



• Another reason I don't drink vending machine coffee.



• Key inaccurate statement in this story: "Our urine is worth its weight in gold"...



• Only in Florida.



• We've lost the last of the Nights in White Satin.

The Guardians are red hot

The Cleveland Guardians have won their last 5 games, including last nights 4-1 win over the Red Sox. They currently have the best record in the MLB with a .739 win percentage.

I'm kinda hoping that the Red Sox break the Guardians streak and win tonights game. First pitch is at 6:10 and Criswell is on the mound.

⧫
The Bruins need to win tonights game if only to prevent getting swept while they are in Toronto.

Puck drops at 7:00 and that is when I'll start doing the "channel swap back and forth" thing.

⧫
Once again, I get the best SPAM:

There is a lot more to that email than I could fit into a single screen shot so you'll just have to take my word for it, I am Donald "I'm rich! Give me your money so I can pay my fines!" Trump's personal friend. He even calls me "friend" in that email.

Oh, and despite his request that I "let everyone know that you're voting for DONALD TRUMP>", I think it's best if I let everyone know that I have no idea who I'm voting for. I can assure you I won't be voting for either The Donald or Goofy Joe.

And you can bet I'm not voting for Kennedy either. I'm proud to say that I never once voted for his uncle Edward "Psshhh.... I'm fine, I can drive" Kennedy and I won't vote for Robert "I'm named after my daddy!" Kennedy.

⧫
I'm going to watch some sports.

You can enjoy these links:

• This just keeps on getting worse.



• Oops.



• Musta been some of those free-range cows.



• You just know that eventually some redneck is gonna snap, whip out a home-made flame thrower and burn the entire state to the ground.



• Must have been one hell of a pothole.



• They say that hydration is important.

Series is tied 1-1

The Bruins tried but they just couldn't overcome a very agressive Maple Leafs team and they ended up losing 3-2 last night.

Game three in the series is tomorrow in Toronto. I'm hoping that the Bruins don't have a repeat of last season when they lost in the first round and went on vacation early...

⧫
The bad luck bug has once again bitten the Red Sox.

Turns out Casas has a broken rib and will be out for a while.

Tonights game started at 6:10 and they are currently in the bottom of the third inning. The score is 0-0.

⧫
I'm going to watch the rest of this game.

Here are a few links:

• Oh Canada.



• Mark my words, some guy with too much money and not enough brains is going to burn his house down with one of these things.



• Australia: What doesn't try to kill ya, tries to kill ya and then goes for a fun ride to the ER with you.



• Key line in this story: "You really have to love zip-lining in order to ride a wire over gator-infested swamp land."

Hello out there. We're on the air. It's hockey night tonight

Game two of the Bruins / Maple Leafs series is tonight. Puck drops at 7:00.

The Bruins announced that they recalled Forbort but I don't see anything that says he'll be on the ice tonight. I'm not entirely sure he has completely recovered from his surgery so they may have recalled him just to get him working with the team during practices.

Then again, I'm no doctor and I'm not in the loop on Forbort's medical procedures. Maybe he will be on the ice tonight.

The one thing I'll be interested in seeing is who is in goal. The Bruins have had a very good problem this season with two high quality goalies. Traditionally, they have rotated between Swayman and Ullmark.

I'm hoping that Montgomery continues rotating his goalies simply because I'm a firm believer that when something is working, you keep doing it.

⧫
The Blue Jays and the Rays both lost yesterday which moves the Red Sox up to third place in the ALEast.

It's nice to see the Red Sox in some spot other than last.

Oh, and looking at their win/loss record, I notice that it's kinda weird. At home in Fenway they are 3-7 but on the road, they are 10-3.

Looks to me like maybe the Red Sox shouldn't play at Fenway Park...

⧫
Time once again for another episode of, "I Get The Best SPAM"

Key typos in that email are, "To prevent interrion of yur benefits"

I will also point out that no legitimate business operating anywhere on the planet will send you a renewal notice on a .PDF that is inside of a compressed .ZIP file.

⧫
Some guy named Pecker was called to the stand to testify against Donald "I do not have resting bitch face, I'm just perpetually pissed off" Trump in his porn actress hush money trial.

I can't help but giggle at the thought of a big pecker on the stand, talking about Trump paying a porno actress for sex and then paying her to not tell anyone about it.

⧫
Time for dinner and then time for hockey.

Enjoy these links:

• V GER lives!



• Key description of some members of congress: "I serve with some real scumbags."



• If they do this, I will be pissed.



• Researchers: Contributing to the betterment of our society or a complete waste of perfectly good oxygen?



• Oh Canada.



• Only in Florida.

1-0 in the series

The Bruins beat the Maple Leafs in fine fashion last night, winning game one in the series by a score of 5-1. And as amazing as it sounds, I stayed awake for the entire game.

Game two will be tomorrow. Puck drops at 7:00 so I probably won't have to stay awake until 10:30 to watch all three periods.

⧫
The Red Sox swept the Pirates this afternoon, beating them 6-1.

It was an interesting lineup today, made up mostly of guys who were in the minors last season.

They are off tomorrow while they travel from Pittsburgh to Cleveland. No, I have no idea why they need to take a day off to travel from Pittsburgh to Cleveland. I've driven from Pittsburgh to Cleveland and if I recall, it takes about 2 hours.

I guess professional baseball players need to rest after a grueling 2 hour drive on an interstate highway.

⧫
If it stops raining in Hilton Head, I'll watch the RBC Classic.

Here are some links:

• Jenga Playing Turkey would be a great name for a 1950's rock-a-billy band.



• They better name it The Andromeda Strain.



• Seems to me this is an accident waiting to happen.



• Oh Canada.



• Pffftttt.... Rednecks....

Nice win last night

The Red Sox managed to beat up the Pirates a bit last night, winning 8-1 in fine style. Pretty much everyone got a hit and several got home runs.

Hell, even Dalbec got a hit.

Todays game started at 4:00 and right now the Red Sox are up 4-2 in the ninth. It was 4-1 but then Cora put that Joely Rodriguez guy in to pitch and he immediately gave up a home run.

I am not a fan of the Rodriguez guy...

⧫
Tonight starts the NHL playoffs and I will be watching as much of the Maple Leafs @ Bruins game as I can. It starts at 8:00 and while it's on NESN, it's also on TBS. That means lots of commercial breaks which means the game will probably go until 10:30.

No matter what, I will be watching and hoping the Bruins continue their season-long sweep of the Maple Leafs.

⧫
I'm going to watch the rest of this ball game and then watch some hockey.

Here are some links:

• Attention Alanis Morissette: This is ironic.



• Thanks, but no thanks.



• The voters in Iceland have way better choices for president than we do.



• In my world, we call these people "rocket scientists"...

I'm hoping for a win

Devers is still out of the lineup but Refsnyder is back in. There is no way that I think Refsnyder will make up for the loss of Devers but at least he's not terrible. The terrible guy is Dalbec and he is also in the lineup tonight.

What this all boils down to is that the Red Sox are fielding a minor league team and the Pirates have won far more games than they've lost.

Maybe instead of hoping for a win I should be hoping they don't get swept in the three-game series...

Anyways, first pitch was at 6:40 which means I should be able to stay awake and watch the entire game.

⧫
The best-of-seven series between the Bruins and Maple Leafs starts tomorrow evening. The first two games will be in Boston, the second two games will be in Toronto. The finals three games will be Boston, Toronto, then Boston.

This is round one of the Stanley Cup playoffs and hopes are high that the Bruins will make it through to round two.

⧫
The Red Sox are up 3-0 in the third inning so I'm going to stop typing and watch the rest of the game.

Here are a few links:

• I really hope they don't charge the guy being robbed.



• If Goofy Joe has his way, you won't be able to buy a gasoline powered car in a few year.



• Key phrase in this story: "...my Super Bowl ring is now in a landfill someplace in the Cincinnati tri-state area."



• Key phrase in this story: "This beer is cold, sir, and I wanna drink it."

Life is good

We live in some pretty amazing times and anyone that thinks we don't needs to re-evaluate their view of the world.

Allow me to elucidate...

~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's May of 1978 and I realize I need to renew my drivers license before it expires.

I take the morning off from work because I know this is going to take a few hours and leave the house at 8:30am. I drive to the Registry of Motor Vehicles office on Liberty St in Springfield to be there for the 9:00am opening. I quickly discover there are no parking spaces and I have to go around the block so I can park in the YMCA parking lot across the street.

By the time I get to the RMV, there is a line of about 40 people that stretches outside the building. Fortunately, it is not raining. I quickly run inside and grab a license renewal application from the rack. Then I dash back outside to get in line and start filling out the form.

It takes me a bit more than and hour to get to the counter where I turn in my completed renewal form. The sour-faced woman behind the counter slams an ink pad on it that stamps the date/time and then she says, "$20.00". I say, "No, I owe you $25.00 because I have a motorcycle add-on". She looks at me as if I just shit on her lunch tray and says, "You need to go to the next window. They do specialty licenses" and hands me back my paperwork.

I look over at the next window and see about 8 people waiting in line. They are all pissed off because the guy at the front of the line is a low-functioning moron who filled out all of his paperwork incorrectly and is now arguing with the woman behind the counter. She is having none of his bullshit and tells him to step aside. Then she calls the next person in line.

I get into line and think to myself, "Since when did motorcycle become a specialty license? It's not a CDL or a class 2..." but oh well, what the hell do I know.

After about 30 minutes, I get to the window, hand her my already stamped renewal form and she rolls her eyes at me. I say, "What? The woman over there told me to come over here. I just want to renew my drivers license."

She mumbles something about this not being a specialty license and takes the form anyways. She also stamps it with the date/time thingee and now my renewal form has two time stamps on it. I wonder if that will screw something up.

She processes the form, takes my $30.00, digs around in a drawer for a minute and finally hands me $5.00 in change. Then she tells me, "Take a seat on the bench. They'll call you." and she hands me back my form.

I look at the bench and then go stand off to the side because someone has apparently either spilled coffee all over the bench or they had a bad case of diarrhea and I'm in no hurry to find out which it is.

After about 20 minutes, I get called into a small room with a blue sheet hanging on the back wall. The guy at the desk reaches out his hand and I give him my renewal form. He looks it over, stands up and changes the blue sheet to a red one and tells me to sit on the chair in front of the sheet. I look at the chair to make sure there is no diarrhea on it. It looks okay so I sit.

He tells me to look at the dot on the top of a camera so I do. As soon as I look at the dot, he takes my picture. I stay in the chair for a few more minutes because the flash bulb has left me temporarily (I hope it's temporary) blind and if I try to walk, I'm afraid I'll slam into the guys desk. Also, a dot matrix printer is printing a temporary license for me.

He hands me the temporary paper license and mumbles something along the lines of "Your license will come in the mail in four to six weeks."

I leave the RMV, jog across the street without really looking for oncoming traffic because I still have a large yellow/blue spot in my vision from the damned flash bulb. I make it to my car and speed out of the parking lot in the hopes of getting to work on time. Amazingly enough, I actually make it to work at 1:00pm.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's April of 2024 and I get a letter from the RMV informing me that I need to renew my drivers license before my birthday in May.

The letter says I can do it at a Registry office or I can do it at a AAA office or I can do it online.

Online seems like a good idea to me so I go to the RMV website. They ask me to enter some information to confirm that I am who I say I am. As soon as I enter the required data, I click "Next" and all my information appears before me. I scroll down the screen, making sure everything is correct and then I click "Next".

The screen says the cost of my transaction will be $50 for the license and $15 for the motorcycle addon. It asks how I want to pay. I select "credit card" and enter my card number.

I click "Next", completing the transaction, and I get an email that says, "If your current license has already expired (it hasn't), print this email and keep it with you until your new license arrives in the mail within 30 days. Thanks for using the RMV online system."

No sour faces, no diarrhea, no taking time off from work and no dealing with long lines.

Like I said, amazing times...

⧫
The Red Sox managed to beat the Guardians last night, winning the game 2-0 in nine innings.

And those nine innings were some pretty damned good innings.

Too be honest with you, when the game ended, I felt like out of habit I was supposed to go to bed but it wasn't even 9:00 yet!

It was a good game to watch but I think the hitters need to step it up. There was at least two innings that ended with two or three runners left on base.

Today's game was at 1:30. Bernardino started on the mound and gave them two decent innings.

Once again, Devers was not in the game. Rumor has it he's going for an MRI on his knee/leg. I have a feeling this is going to end up with him on the DL for more than a few days.

So anyways, the Red Sox played okay but not good enough and they ended up losing the game 5-4.

They continue to leave runners on base.

Now they are heading to Pittsburgh where tomorrow they will start a three-game series against the Pirates. First pitch is at 6:40.

⧫
I am done for the day.

Since there is no sportings tonight, I'll have to settle for DVRs.

Enjoy these links

• Weekend At Bernies.



• Oh Canada.



• Key phrase in this story: "...a 7-year-old kindergarten student..."
  (Most kids are 5 when they enter kindergarten)



• Presenting this episodes "Brilliant Criminal of the Month".



• Hey researchers, I like bumblebees. Leave them the hell alone.

Another bad day.

The Red Sox lost to the Guardians last night, putting them firmly into last place in the ALEast.

They were down 5-1 through five innings when they suddenly came to life and scored 5 runs in the sixth to take a 6-5 lead.

They held on to the 6-5 lead for exactly three innings when the Guardians tied the game in the ninth. That made the score 6-6 and forced extra innings.

They made it through the tenth tied 7-7 but in the eleventh, the Guardians decided that enough was enough and they drop 3 runs on them. The Red Sox couldn't do anything and the game ended in the eleventh with the Guardians winning 10-7.

Game three of their four game series is tonight at 7:00. It would be nice if they won this game but with Devers out, that means Bobby "0-36" Dalbec will be at third and he can't hit anything.

Which reminds me, the Red Sox managed to lose a couple more players last night when Devers and Whitlock both left the game early due to injuries / health issues.

Pretty soon I'm going to have to go to Boston if I want to watch the Worcester Red Sox play baseball.

My optimism meter is drooping quite a bit lately and I don't have high hopes for this season.

⧫
As for the Bruins, they lost to the Senators in their final game of the regular season last night and gave up their first place Atlantic division seeding to the Panthers. They are now the #2 seed.

That means the Panthers will play the Lightning and the Bruins will play the Maple Leafs. Round one is scheduled to start on April 20^th

⧫
Since we no longer have a dog running around, I'm trying to grow grass in my back yard.

Wish me luck.

And for the record, there is actual grass growing on my side yard. Not much grass but some.

Who knows, maybe this is my year...

⧫
Enjoy these links:

• sounds like a real shitty airline.



• How do you know he didn't do it.



• Key phrase in this story: "...his time of 3 minutes, 52 seconds was disqualified because his lawnmower did not have a bag on it."



• Oh Canada.



• It's Berkley so I'm not surprised.



• Yes, alcohol was involved.

Bad day for Boston.

First the Red Sox get their ass kicked by the Guardians and then the Bruins lose to the Capitals.

Despite taking 16 shots at the net, the Bruins couldn't put the puck into the goal and the Capitals beat them 2-0 last night.

Tonight is their final game of the regular season and they are playing the Senators. Puck drops at 7:00 and it will be a channel-flipping kind of night because the Red Sox and Guardians game is also on at 7:00.

⧫
As I said the other day, sometimes life intrudes upon my internetting and today was one of those days.

I went shooting with my brother and nephew today and we had a great time.

We couldn't hit the 1 quart milk bottle at 300 yards but we had a good time at every other distance.

So that means I didn't spend much time preparing todays presentation.

Also, it's 6:30 and sportings start at 7:00 so I'm done.

Here are some links:

• Turns out I've been right all along: TikTok'rs are freakin insane.



• Are there humans on this planet that actually buy this crap?



• Montana: Interesting things happen there.



• I would watch C-SPAN a lot more if this happened in congress every once in a while.



• That's a very big catfish.

Patriots Day means early baseball

The Red Sox opened their four game series against the Guardians at 11:10 this morning.

Crawford was the starter today and he made it through 5⅔ innings, faced 19 batters, struck out 6 and gave up only 2 hits. When he left the game in the 6th inning, the score was 0-0.

Then the wheels fell off and the Red Sox ended up losing to the Guardians 6-0.

Half the team looked like professional baseball players and the other half looked like the 10 year old rec league team I coached 20 years ago. And none of them looked like they were hitters.

Game two of the series is tomorrow. First pitch is at 7:00 and I really hope they play better than they did today...

⧫
The Bruins are Washington DC to take on the Capitals this evening. Puck drops at 7:00.

The playoffs have not yet been decided but like I said yesterday, it's looking more and more like the Bruins will take on the Lightning in the divisionals.

⧫
Donald "I didn't say grab. I said hug" Trump is currently on trial, again, for doing something stupid, again, and he is once again ranting like a maniac about how everyone is out to get him, again.

I'm actually thinking that this case may have some merit. It is illegal in the United States to bribe someone in the hopes of that action having an effect on an election. The law was written to prevent peoepl from buying votes but the way it is written implies that any illicit action taken by a candidate in an attempt to hide something is also illegal.

Trump may have actually stepped into a pile of dog poop on this one. Then again, he's been able to dodge all kinds of fecal matter throughout his entire life so I suspect this will be no different, again.

⧫
Here are some links:

• Key line in this story: "We haven’t thought about all the details."



• Not only does this sound like a terrible idea, it turns out it is a terrible idea.



• There is a reason his name is Goofy.



• Nothing quite like a drunk union president.



• If they did this in Boston, people could make millions.



• Well, obviously the 152 is 2 better...

Keep on winning!

The Bruins rolled over the Penguins last night, beating them 6-4 and maintaining their one point lead over the Panthers in the Atlantic.

It also turns out I was not entirely correct when I said the game was on ESPN+. It was on ESPN+ and the NHL website only mentioned ESPN+ but it turns out it was also on ABC so I was able to watch it.

Unfortunately, the game still started at 8:00 and I ended up staying awake until well after my normal bedtime.

As for the playoffs, it's looking more and more like the Bruins will be the number one seed in the Atlantic and they will more than likely take on the number seven seed Lightning

They take on the Capitals tomorrow evening. Puck drops at 7:00.

⧫
After yesterdays win over the Angels, the Red Sox looked to win the series this afternoon.

Bello had the start and he made it through 5⅓ innings, throwing 107 pitches to 23 batters, striking out 8, walking 2 and giving up 6 hits. He left the game with a 3-2 lead.

The bullpen did just fine, allowing one more run while the Red Sox batters scored two more runs. Then Jansen came in and gave all of us heart attacks when the Angels scored one more run, making it 5-4 Red Sox.

With runners on second & third and Mike Trout at the plate, Jansen managed to strike Trout out and end the game with the save.

The Guardians are coming in to town for a four-game series starting tomorrow. Since it's marathon Monday, the first pitch is at 11:10. I believe it is also Jackie Robinson Day so every player in MLB will be wearing #42.

Oh, and one more thing: As a non-baseball expert, it is my humble opinion that Bobby Dalbec should not be in the majors. He is proving himself to be a quality minor league player but when he gets called up to the big leagues, he steps in the batters box and he can't hit shit.

⧫
After baseball it was time to watch the final round of the Masters and boy, am I glad I did.

I'm currently watching Scheffler march through the course like he was the guy who designed it. He knows where to hit every shot and he is currently enjoying a 4 stroke lead.

But that isn't the fun part.

The fun part was watching a 24 year old kid that I've never heard of named Åberg (pronounced Oberg) have a great time coming in second. He is playing the game like he said to himself, "You know what? I probably can't beat Scheffler but I bet I can beat everybody else!" And he is. He is currently 4 strokes behind Scheffler but he is 2 strokes ahead of Morikawa and 3 strokes ahead of Homa.

Remeber the name Ludvig Åberg. He's either gonna become one of the greats or he's gonna have the best time trying.

⧫
Here are some links:

• Seems to me that Russia expressing concern about a regional conflict is the dumbest thing I've heard since they claimed Ukraine was full of nazi's.



• Key photo caption in this story: "A rat explores his new creative potential."



• Key entry from our favorite police log: "7:28 a.m. A dead deer was in the middle of the road, but the person who called it in did point out that, as it was just a small deer, cars could probably just run over it to get by."



• Prolific Sperm Donor would be a so-so name for a really bad punk/metal band made up of a three or four twenty-somethings.



• Ladies, please allow me, an old fat guy with no fashion sense, to give you some fashion advice: Don't walk around dressed like this.

More painting.

The lower half of the wall needed a second coat so that was today's project. Then we spent some time moving furniture in the hopes she would find a suitable arrangement.

I'll move furniture all day long but I really hate painting...

⧫
The Red Sox got their ass kicked last night, losing to the Angels 7-0.

They kinda sucked and deserved to lose. They committed three errors and gave up seven unearned runs. You can't win baseball games if you can't play the field.

Their hitting wasn't all that great either. They had a total of three hits that resulted in zero runs.

As for today's game, it started at 4:00 and the Red Sox won 7-2. Unlike yesterday, they played the field like professional baseball players and they hit the ball well.

Tomorrow they play the third game of this three-game series against the Angels. First pitch is at 1:30.

⧫
The Bruins are in Pittsburgh to play the Penguins tonight. Unfortunately, the game is being carried by ESPN+ so I won't be watching it because I won't be signing up for any more streaming services.

As of right now, the Bruins are in fourth place in the NHL and in first place in the Atlantic division.

I'm hoping for a win for the Bruins tonight.

⧫
Here are some links:

• No.



• This is your brain. This is your brain on drugs.



• Another reason I don't eat reptiles.



• Things are going to get interesting.



• Key line in this story: "...yeah, you fart while you walk."

They are in full suck mode

The Red Sox had a 3-1 lead through seven innings last night. Then they took a huge warm, smelly dump in the field and ended up losing the game 9-4.

They have no defense, no offense and their pitching needs help.

Tonight they are currently in the third inning and are down 4-0.

I do not have high hopes...

⧫
I spent most of my day squatting down and painting the lower half of a room.

My back hurts, my legs hurt, my knees hurt and my hands hurt.

But the painting is done and I will probably recover tomorrow.

At least, I'm hoping I recover tomrrow.

Ibuprofen is my friend...

⧫
I'm going to watch the rest of this ball game and fall asleep early.

Here are some links:

• Here's a headline I didn't expect to see.



• Key phrase in this story: "The report says the pilot planned to fix the issue at another time..."



• If you bought cookies in Leavenworth., Kansas recently, check your cookies and your poop.



• Presenting this episodes "Brilliant Criminal of the Day".



• Massive Snake Poop would be a great name for a 1970s high school grage band.

Another loss

The Red Sox had a nice little 5-0 lead over the Orioles until the sixth inning. Then they had a uncomfortable but sustainable 5-3 lead at the end of the sixth inning. Then they had a 7-5 deficit at the end of the seventh and that was how it stayed through the rest of the game.

They should have won that game but when the Orioles scored those three runs it was like all the fight went out of the Red Sox and they fell apart.

Hopefully they win tonight and salvage at least one of the three games in this series. Getting swept wouldbe a blow to them that they don't need.

⧫
The insanity continues...

⧫
Time for some dinner and then some baseball.

Here are some links:

• How screwed up do you have to be to think that joining the Russian army is a good idea.



• He's setting himself up for a shattered hip.



• Man, they got world records for everything.



• Hairy Penis would be a great name for just about any porn star from any decade.



• If you have ever wished you could listen to a Mongolian Head Banging, Throat Singing, Costume Wearing Heavy Metal Band, wish no more.

Two losses...

Yesterday was the Red Sox home opener and despite my dislike of Fenway Park, I was in attendance for the game.

My youngest and myself, along with 39,000 of our closest friends, jammed ourselves into Fenway in the hopes of seeing the Red Sox continue their winning ways but alas, it wasn't to be. The Orioles crushed our hopes by beating the Red Sox 7-1.

I did, however, get a picture of Varitek warming up McGuire before the game started.

I checked the weather before I left for Boston in the morning and, according to three different weather dweebs, the temps at Fenway were predicted to be 55°. During the game, I kept checking the weather on my phone and it kept swearing to God, cross my heart, hope to die, that it was indeed 55°

My body and face, however, kept telling me it was about 100° in the sun and I quickly discovered that I was severely overdressed. I was also staring directly into the sun and wishing I had listened to my wife when she said, "You should bring sunscreen..."

At some point during the game, my daughter and I exchanged the following text messages:

The Orioles and Red Sox will be back at it again this evening. I will be sitting comfortably on my couch without any complete strangers trying to sit in my lap. I will also be nursing the sunburn on my face and arms. First pitch is at 7:00.

⧫
While I was sitting in the usual Masspike Boston traffic and attempting to drive home after the ball game, the Bruins were at the Garden losing to the Hurricanes.

I was able to listen to the first period on the radio up until just before Worcester before the signal from Boston dropped out. By then, it was the end of the first period and the score was 0-0 so I wasn't too concerned.

When I got home and put the game on, they were five minutes into the third period and the score was 2-1 in favor of the Hurricanes. I watched the rest of the period and things did not get any better for the Bruins. They gave up two more goals and the game ended with the Hurricanes winning 4-1.

Their final three games of the season will be:

4/13 @ Penguins
4/15 @ Capitals
4/16 vs Senators

After that it will be playoff time and it's anyone's guess how that will go.

⧫
Hopefully the Red Sox win tonight but things don't look great. Pivetta just went on the 15 day DL, Story is done for the season and Durran is beating himself up over a missed catch yesterday. They are kind of a wreck right now.

Here are some links:

• Key phrase in this story: "Oops!"



• If you want to see Donald Please give me all your money so I can pay my legal fines! Trump lose his mind, get a democrat elected as Speaker of the House.



• Key phrase in this story: "Bill Belichick is the best head coach that ever coached the game of football."



• Sometimes the New York Post can be a shitty news paper. Fer cripes sake, leave the man alone.



• Even more proof that there are a lot of weirdos in our world.



• Australia: What doesn't try to kill ya, just wants a ride on the train.

Very busy day

Some days, life decides that I spend too much time on the internet. Today was one of those days. That means there is almost no post.

There are, however, a few links:

• Wasn't this the entire plot of Terminator 2?



• Another clear cut case of god violence.



• Only in Florida.



• Here's your Naked Guy In The News story.

They made up for the loss

The Red Sox must have taken offense to losing to the Angels the other day because yesterday, they opened a can of whoopass on them.

The Red Sox beat the Angels 12-2 yesterday afternoon and taking the series 2-1.

They are off today while they fly back home for their home opener. They will face the Orioles tomorrow at 2:00pm.

Yes, I will be watching them...

⧫
Yes, there was an eclipse today. No, I did not sacrifice any virgins.

I did try to take pictures of it but that didn't go too well. The best I could do is this picture I took through some welders glass. The sun is pretty much a giant blob but you can see the eclipse in the reflection off the glass just to the right and below the sun.

Since the next one of these that will cross near my current residence isn't until 2099, it's a pretty good bet that today's eclipse was the last one for me.

⧫
I'm going to watch some DVRs.

Here are some links for you:

• This is why I listen to oldies.



• When I smoked, I could make the perfect ring.



• Oh Canada.



• I'm just going to say it: If your eyes were damaged by the eclipse, you are an idiot.



• Naked Defendant and The Support Cat would be a great name for any band of drunks at an Irish pub.



• What the hell is up with Russia?

A win and a loss

The Red Sox lost 2-1 last night.

When I went to bed in the middle of the fifth inning, the Red Sox were up 1-0. Whitlock had pitched a decent four innings and was coming out for the fifth.

Weissert came in and gave up two runs, giving the Angels a 2-1 lead. As it turns out, that was how the game ended four innings later.

Red Sox pitching was good but the Angels won because their pitching was better and the Red Sox batters just couldn't hit the ball. They had only three hits in the entire game which is nowhere near enough hits to move runners home.

As for todays game, it started at 4:00 and it is currently in the 5^th inning. The score is 3-0 in favor of the Red Sox

Houck is on the mound and he's doing okay.

The one thing I want to point out is that the guy from Worcester they brought up to replace Story, Hamilton, went and hit a home run in the third inning.

Next game is Tuesday in Boston where they welcome the Orioles into Fenway Park for the home opener.

Also, today's game marks the start of games being played at a reasonable hour up until the All Star break. Every game between now and then will start before 8:10 at night and that means I should be able to stay awake to watch all of them.

⧫
Turns out I didn't have to be concerned about the Bruins going into overtime last night because two minutes into the sudden-death overtime period, the Bruins put one into the Panthers net and won the game 3-2.

With four games left in their regular season, they are five points ahead of the Panthers in the Atlantic division, one point behind the Rangers in the NHL and have secured a playoff spot. Now it's just battle for seeding and home ice advantage.

Next game is this Tuesday against the Hurricanes. Puck drops at 7:00.

⧫
No, I didn't buy a ticket to the $1,360,000,000 Powerball lottery and that means I did not win the $1,360,000,000 Powerball lottery.

Then again, I'm pretty sure my chances of winning the lottery are the same whether I buy a ticket or not.

⧫
Unless you are living in a cabin in the woods with no internet, television, radio or electricity, I'm pretty sure you are aware of the fact that tomorrow, starting around 2:15 in the afternoon, the moon will pass in front of the sun and those of us in Western Mass will enjoy what is known as a 93% totality eclipse.

Don't stare at it. If you don't have the proper eye protection or some welding glass, use a hand mirror to reflect the sun onto the side of building or something like that.

No matter what you do, enjoy the event and don't go sacrificing any virgins or anything like that.

⧫
Here are a few links:

• Japan: This is probably normal over there.



• Proof that some people have too much free time.



• Yes, alcohol was involved.



• Key phrase in this story: "The shooting stemmed from an argument over guacamole."



• Australia: What doesn't try to kill ya, gives birth in your shorts.

Guess who's in first place

With last night's win over the Angels, the Red Sox are tied with the New York Aaron Judges in first place in the ALEast:

Yes, I know it's only the first ten days of the season

Now for the bad news...

Things don't look good for shortstop Trevor Story.

That happened in the fourth inning and I was already sound asleep but the descriptions I've read seem to indicate he landed hard on the shoulder and he was in a lot of pain before being escorted off the field.

They called up a kid from Worcester named Hamilton. I've seen him play and If I recall correctly, he's pretty good. Hopefully won't make too many errors.

Game two of their three-game series against the Angels is at 9:38 tonight. I'm hoping to make it through at least three innings.

⧫
As for the Bruins, they faced off against the Panthers this afternoon and regulation just ended with a 2-2 tie.

That means they are going into overtime...

I don't like it when the Bruins go into overtime.

⧫
Here are some links:

• Yea, he's a first class pain in the ass who always believes he is the smartest person in the room but who the hell thought this would be a good idea.



• The democrats are stepping up their pettiness game.



• Key phrase in this story: "...it’s approximately one mile east of the Granby Bow and Gun Club."



• Oh good. It's not bad enough we have to worry about the "Nigerian Bankers", now we gotta worry about fake AI law firms.



• We don't pay cops enough.

A Little Rock and Roll

At 10:25 this morning, my couch suddenly started gently swaying back and forth, the curtains on the windows started moving, and the hanging plants all started to swing a little bit.

I knew exactly what it was but The Cat was completely uncertain and highly agitated. She kept looking at me with a "What the hell did you just do!" look.

Then I had the following text exchange with two of my children (I'm the blue bubble):

A quick check of the USGS Earthquake Center website showed the following:

That is a magnitude 4.7 earthquake located in northern New Jersey.

Nothing like a little rock and roll to start your day.

⧫
The Bruins beat the Hurricanes last night, winning in fine style by a score of 4-1.

Two minutes into the game, Marchand managed to pump his 400^th goal into the net. This was followed five minutes later by a Pastrnak wrister and then a Heinen snap shot, giving the Bruins a 3-0 lead at the end of the first period.

The Hurricanes managed to put one past Swayman in the second period but that would be all they would get.

They are off tonight and tomorrow they take on the Panthers. Puck drops at 3:30

⧫
The Red Sox are in Anaheim to start a three-game series against the Angels.

Crawford has the start but the lineups have not been put out yet. I will not be surprised if Durran is out. Cora likes to give guys days off and near as I can tell, Durran has not yet had a day off.

First pitch is at 9:38 which is two minutes better than 9:40. That extra two minutes might make it possible for me to watch five innings and then one batter in the sixth.

⧫
The grill has been moved off the porch and onto the new patio. That means burgers for dinner.

While I work my grill magic, you can see if these are any good.

• Key entry from our favorite police log: "8:07 a.m. A man woke up to discover an espresso machine in his front yard."



• Laugh all you want but they got away with it.



• Key phrase in this story: "I do not have the authority to do that."



• Phillipines: Their government cares about them.



• The only thing that will stop a bad guy with a weed whacker is a good guy with a weed whacker.



• Idiots. Our world is filled with idiots.

Welcome to New England

It is April 4^th and this is what my back yard looked like this morning.

Trust me, the front yard didn't look any different.

The joys of springtime in New England...

⧫
A week ago, I ordered a replacement seat for my lawn tractor and it arrived yesterday.

Today I took the old seat off the tractor, removed the sensor that shuts the tractor down if I fall off the tractor, installed the sensor in the new seat and put it on the tractor.

Then I tried to start the tractor...

Turns out that the replacement seat is made of different materials than the old seat.

The old seat was vinyl-covered foam. The vinyl had cracked in several places and curled up. The foam was also cracked and beginning to break down. That's why I ordered a new seat.

The new seat is made of a solid rubber-like foam, no vinyl covering. The new seat is also much stiffer and as a result, my fat ass was unable to put enough weight on the seat to activate the sensor.

So I took the seat off, removed the sensor, stuck two ¹/₁₆ inch thick washers on the sensor pad with double-faced tape and reinstalled the seat.

I'm pleased to say that my fat ass now compresses the seat enough to activate the sensor and keep the tractor running. Of course, it'll probably stall everytime I hit a bump in the lawn but if it gets to be a pain, I'll just disable the sensor.

The way I figure it, I've been mowing this lawn for 30+ years and I have yet to fall off my tractor.

⧫
No baseball today but there will be hockey so I have something to entertain me this evening.

I like being entertained.

Here are some links:

• What the hell is a money storage facility?



• This is not good.



• This is your brain. This is your brain on drugs.



• Key line in this story: "Thank you and have a great day."



• Curiously Shaped Pool would be a great name for a 1980s Bruce Willis movie.



• The Vietnam War lasted more than ten years and there were 58,220 U.S. casualties. Russia has been in Ukraines for a little over two years and there are 315,000 casualties. Psycho Vlad did not plan well...



• If you have been looking for a new pet, look no further.

Two wins kind of night

The Bruins and the Predators were 0-0 through 2 ¾ periods and it looked like they were going to end up in one of those dreaded OT situations. Then, with about six minutes left in the third period, the Bruins put the puck into the net and took a 1-0 lead.

About four minutes later, they put it into the goal again, giving them a 2-0 lead.

Then, with one minute left in the period and the Predators goalie sitting on the bench, Pastrnak flicked a wrister the length of the ice into the empty net, giving the Bruins a 3-0 lead.

It was a good win for them and it moved them into a tie with the Stars for second place in the NHL, one point behind the league-leading Rangers

They are off today while they travel to North Carolina to take on the Hurricanes tomorrow. Puck drops at 7:00.

⧫
The Red Sox beat the Athletics 5-4 over eleven innings last night, taking the series and putting them into second place in the ALEast.

Of course, the standings at this point in the season are meaningless. To show you how meaningless they are, the Pittsburgh Pirates are in first place in the MLB.

As for last night, Bello did not have an outstanding game but it wasn't terrible. He made it through five innings, gave up four earned runs, walked one and struck out six. Not a bad outing but two of those earned runs were home runs that came from poorly placed pitches. He was obviously frustrated as he walked off the mound at the end of his outing but hey, he'll figure it out.

Todays game started 3:30 and right now, the Red Sox are up 1-0 in the fifth inning.

Oh, and there are still not a lot of people in the stands in Oakland...

⧫
We decided that cooking was not in our plans for the evening and I have to go pick up some dinner.

Here are some links:

• Unauthorized Mangos would be a great name for a 1970s Jack Lemmon / Walter Matthau comedy.



• If you ever go to the moon, you'll know what time it is.



• You know what I love about baseball? The fans and players are all just a bit odd...



• As if we don't have enough to worry about...



• I do have no fear of heights but I'm not walking across a bridge that requires me to wear a safety harness.



• "Accidentally"?

No fans in Oakland

The Red Sox beat the Athletics 9-0 last night and I was able to stay awake long enough to see four innings of the game. Also, the thing I remember most about the game is the fact that there were way more empty seats than there were fans.

When I say way more, I mean it looked to me like there were twenty empty seats for every occupied seat.

Here's a screen capture of Yoshido rounding third base. It shows the stands behind the Athletics dugout.

Trust me, that was the most crowded section of the stadium. Everywhere else was an empty wasteland of green seats. Apparently almost no one goes to see the Athletics play baseball.

No wonder they want to move to Las Vegas...

So anyways, it was a good game for the Red Sox and Houck had an excellent outing. He went six innings, gave up three hits, zero runs, zero walks and struck out ten.

They remain in fanless Oakland for game two of their three-game series. First pitch is once again at 9:40 tonight and I hope to continue my streak of watching at least four innings.

⧫
In other baseball news, today was the MiLBs opening day and NESN is carrying the Buffalo Bisons @ Worcester Red Sox game.

Watching this game, I'm looking forward to taking The Professor and heading out for a few games this season. Polar Park is a really nice place to watch a baseball game. Easy in and out of Worcester on I-290, cheap parking, reasonable ticket prices, comfortable seats, and a genuinely good baseball team.

⧫
As for the Bruins, they take on the Predators this evening. Puck drops at 8:00 and I expect that game will end before the baseball game starts.

There are only seven games left in the regular season and I'm not entirely sure what the seedings will be but if the Bruins can maintain first place in the Atlantic, they should at least have home ice advantage during the divisionals.

Then again, they had home ice advantage last season and they still managed to get their ass kicked during the playoffs...

⧫
For the record, there are still no grass sprouts in my dirt.

While I watch hockey and baseball, you can enjoy these links:

• According to the weather dweebs, us Massachusettians (I just made that word up) will be among the few who are able to see the upcoming eclipse.



• If you are dumb enough to get a Waffle House tattoo, you are dumb enough to think you can get away without paying for it.



• If you are ever in Derbyshire, England, beware of the attack sheep.



• When it comes to flinging poop, make sure you know your regulations.



• If you are looking for a new job and you don't have a peanut allergy, look no further.



• I've been inside the Tropicana. It was a crappy, run-down joint and I felt sticky after I walked out.

She's a winner

Yesterday afternoon, Nelly Korda won her third tournament in a row.

For those of you that don't follow golf, trust me, that's pretty damned impressive. It also means that at 25 years old, she is freakin richer than I will ever be. In the first three months of 2024, she has won almost a million dollars.

Money not withstanding, winning three tournaments in a row is pretty damned impressive.

⧫
In the last few days, I have moved half a yard of dirt using shovels, a rake & my wheelbarrow. I've also cleared all the leaves off my lawn and raked out all the debris left by the concrete guys.

What does all that mean?

Simply put, it means my back is killing me and ibuprofen is my best friend...

⧫
I do not believe I will be able to stay awake long enough to see even one inning of baseball, never mind four or five, but I will try.

While I do that, you can enjoy these links:

• Attention scientists: Just stop. Stop creating things that can destroy the freakin' sun.



• Thirteen years ago, NASA sent Curiosity to Mars, and it's still working.



• It's only a matter of time before the outlaw this.



• Plague Squirrels would be a fantastic name for a 1980s punk band.



• Why would they not include the giant growth on his forehead in his description?.



• I'm not entirely sure how an anal vibrator helps you win a chess match...

It's Easter

Or as my friend Brad used to say, "It's Zombie Jesus Day!"

If he said that anywhere around his catholic mom, she would beat the shit out of him which told me that I probably should not say it around my uber-catholic mom.

So anyways, to all you christian peoples, have a nice Easter. To everyone else, go clean up your lawns fer cripes sake. Your leaves are blowing all over the place.

⧫
The Bruins beat the Capitals in a shoot-out last night, grabbing the two points and securing a spot in the playoffs.

They have also moved up a bit in the overall league standings.

Their next game is Tuesday when they take on the Predators down in Nashville. Puck drops at 8:00.

⧫
The Red Sox managed to lose 4-3 in the tenth inning last night but I didn't see that. When I went to bed, it was tied 1-1 at the top of the eighth inning.

I thought Crawford pitched a great game. He went six innings, gave up one run, walked one and struck out seven. The problem happened when Cora sent a kid named Joely Rodriguez in to pitch in the tenth who probably should not have made the team out of spring training, never mind being put into a high-stress situation in his first appearance.

When the Red Sox broke camp, they sent Cooper Criswell, Joe Jacques and Brennan Bernardino down to Worcester and kept Rodriguez. I was a little shocked by that decision because Bernardino spent last season proving himself to be a pretty good reliever.

Todays game was at a much more sensible hour and since I was able to watch the whole game, the Red Sox decided to win.

Cora still brought Rodriguez in during the ninth inning but he faced only one batter and walked him. That was when Cora decided that rather than have another melt down, he pulled him out and put a guy named Slaten to shut down the Mariners and win the game.

They need to re-evaluate their decision to put Rodriguez on the roster...

So the Red Sox split their four game series with the Mariners and are now 2-2. They face the Athletics tomorrow. First pitch is at 9:40 so I won't be watching all of that game.

⧫
I'm going to watch Nelly Korda try to win the Ford Championship and then fall asleep.

Just to be clear, I'm going to fall asleep, not Korda. Although she might fall asleep. I don't know. All I know is that I'm talking about me falling asleep.

You can see if these are any good:

• When it comes to the battle raging over Pluto's status as a planet, Arizona is taking a stand.



• It seems to me that telling soccer fans that they'll be served stronger beer will only make them want to drink more.



• If you are thinking about taking the MassPike (I-90) into New York, get off before you hit Albany.



• Yes, alcohol was involved.