Five in a row.

Boy, the Red Sox and the Rays don't really like each other very much. As a matter of fact, I'd go so far as to say they kind of hate each other.

Lets see if tonight's game turns into a full blown donnybrook or remains a simple baseball game.

*

These links are here for your enjoyment. Enjoy them:

• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminals of the Day.



• You gotta love dogs.



• Only in Florida.

Four in a row.

They are still five games below .500 and seven games out of first place in the ALEast but it's an improvement over being nine games under .500 and eight games out of first place.

Tonight they start a three game series against the team that is in last place in the ALEast, the Rays. Hopefully they manage to take all three games because that will put them in a good place to actually cross the .500 mark at some point before the All Star break.

*

Enjoy these links while I watch the Red Sox:

• Key entry from our favorite police log: "8:34 a.m. One cow was seen standing near Sullivan Crossroad."



• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminal of the Week.



• Key phrase in this story: "Maybe between the two of us we could have taken him down. I don't know. But he ain't going to get my money. I know that."



• Researchers: Total morons or complete idiots? We report, you decide.



• Brilliant. Simply brilliant....

Three in a row.

And they are no longer in last place in the ALEast!

Yay!

*

You might find these links interesting:

• Do not mess with Miyo Koba.



• Is it just me or does anyone think these people are insane?

Two in a row.

They are still in last place in the ALEast and in second to last in the AL but at least they've won the last two games.

Hopefully tonight goes their way as well because if they can keep this up, they just might stagger out of the basement into the light before the end of the regular season.

And let's face it, all of us would like to see them stagger out of the basement.

*

Here are a couple of links for you:

• Key phrase in this story: "It was a goat!"



• Researchers: Contributing to the betterment of our society or a complete waste of perfectly good oxygen? We report, you decide.

Worst to First to Worst.

That's a T-Shirt that's just waiting to be printed by some street hustler in New York City.

*

Yesterday, we moved our youngest into an apartment and today my back is killing me.

To quote Sergeant Hulka, "I'm getting too old for this sh!t."

*

Here are some links:

• I can only imagine the outcry if they ever tried this in the United States.



• Only in Florida.



• I didn't get a 9% raise last year. Did you get a 9% raise last year?

Long Day so no links.

We moved my youngest into an apartment today so not only did I not have time to surf the interwebs, I didn't have time to watch the Red Sox.

And they won!

Maybe that's what I have to do - stop watching them and they'll win.

Nah. I'll watch them every chance I get.

Once again, another busy day

And tomorrow looks like it's gonna be busy too.

Oh well.

*

Try these few links:

• Yes, alcohol was involved.



• Here's your Naked Guy In The News story.



• Here's another Naked Guy In The News story.



• Only in Florida.

No post today.

I was a very busy guy today.

I'm hoping for a win tonight

Of course, I'm hoping for a win every time they play but right now, they really need to end this losing streak.

The Red Sox are currently 6 games under five hundred and if they don't start winning, they stand a chance of repeating their 2012 season. And for those of you that have forgotten the 2012 season, let me remind you that it really sucked and we all hated Bobby Valentine with a passion.

I don't want to hate John Farrell.

*

Here are some links:

• Key phrase in this story: "If you’re going to steal a bread truck, you might as well go ahead and make the deliveries."



• Key phrase in this story: "Why, yes I am, officer."



• Key phrase in this story: "People work too hard for their stuff and somebody is going to shoot you"

And they still suck.

The Red Sox are in the process of digging themselves a hole that they might not be able to climb out of.

They are currently 46 games into a 162 game season. This means they are almost a third of the way through the season and their record is 20 wins, 26 losses. This puts them firmly in a place I like call sucksville.

Maybe they'll be able to turn things around in the next few weeks but when they do, they are going to have to dig out.

And that won't be easy.

*

You can click on these if you want:

• I hate these things.



• Key lawyeree phrase in this story: "If one is going to advertise all-you-can-eat bacon, you better have all-you-can-eat bacon."



• Those wacky Italians...



• How fat do you have to be to injure a crocodile?

Wow. They kinda suck.

The Red Sox are not in last place but they are pretty darned close. In the ALEast, they are in second to last place and in the American league, they are in third to last place.

They recently re-acquired Stephen Drew but that's not the answer to their problems. They need to find someone who can hit the baseball when there are runners on base and Drew ain't that guy.

What needs to happen is Ortiz, the one guy on the team that is paid solely to hit the baseball, needs to start hitting it when there are runners on base. And by hitting it, I mean somewhere other than the second baseman.

What needs to happen is Pedroia, Napoli, Victorino, et al, need to start hitting the ball when there are runners on base. And by hitting it, I mean to someone other than the center fielder.

And don't get me started on their so-called pitching rotation....

*

Here are some links:

• Key phrase in this story: "...police used their official honeybee swarm removal plan."



• My friend John saved this guys leg.



• Only in a Florida Walmart.



• Oops.



• Key entry from our favorite police log: "9:40 a.m. A Kalispell man reported that his wife was "PO'd" because she lost her cell phone."

They need to win.

The Red Sox have once again fallen victim to their special disease.

The disease has no name but the symptoms are as follows:

Runners on first and third with only one out.
Batter hits into a double play, ending the inning.

This disease plagued them last year and it seems to have burrowed in like a tick again this year.

They need to get that runner from first to home. It's the only way to win games.

*

While I scream at the Red Sox via my special coaching TV, you can visit these links:

• America has another super hero.



• Key phrase in this story: "...don't mess with a moose."



• Key phrase in this story about todays young persons: "...it wasn't their concern that proper decorum was needed in the public domain."



• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminal of the Day.



• Only in Florida. (Also, we don't pay cops enough money.)

My life is busy as hell

Things at work are running at a fever-pitch and my days are packed with meetings.

Many, many meetings...

So many meetings that I don't really have time to get my work done.

What does that mean to you? It means very little in the way of links or blather.

Next week should be better.

*

Here are a couple of links I found:

• Only in Florida.



• The boy has got some smooth moves....

It was a good day.

Since we were out of town last weekend, we didn't get a chance to do that whole home maintenance thing.

That meant this weekend was spent mowing the lawn, cleaning the garage, cleaning up after The Dog and generally getting stuff done that needed to get done.

On top of that, I need to watch the Red Sox because now that they are once again back below .500, they need all of my attention and coaching skills.

*

Sorry, but no time for links tonight.

And so it goes.

The polls have closed and I know that the winner is Susan Bunnell. I have no idea what the final numbers were, just who won. I'm sure they'll post it soon.

It was a fun experience that I may, or may not, repeat in the future.

That will depend on who is running for what.

*

So now that my political phase is over with, maybe, what say we get on with my elderly fat guy phase.

*

These might entertain you:

• Only in Florida.



• I can appreciate the initiative and inventiveness of some high school boys.

Tomorrow is the big day.

Go vote....

...for me.

*

You can click on these links:

• You have got to love dogs.



• I'm actually kind of surprised he isn't all beat up in that mug shot.



• Here's your Naked People In The News story.



• As a society, we are waaaaayyyy too concerned about being politically correct.

Long Day = Short Post.

Sorry folks, but my life is kinda crazy at work. Long hours and no time for messin' around.

Don't forget to vote this Saturday!

*

The links are few but substantive:

• You know that lifetime warranty on Craftsman tools? Yea, not so much....



• Only in Florida.

Not a bad day.

Did I mention that it looks like the grass seed I planted is growing?

*

We are now only three days away from the election and I have a pretty good feeling about the potential outcome. As long as the voters turn out to vote, things should be okay.

If only a few people show up, the people of Wilbraham might end up with a pretty dysfunctional selectboard.

That would be bad.

*

I found these links:

• In case you needed any proof that our species has a large population of stupid people.



• Thank goodness they cleared this up.



• Pfffttttt..... College students.....



• Only in Florida.

I'm back but it was a long day.

We had a very nice family weekend in Burlington VT celebrating my daughters graduation from Saint Michael's College.

She graduated with honors with a Bachelor of Science in Biology. And that, my friends, is not an easy thing to do.

She had to work damned hard to achieve the designation 'cum laude' in a science that is difficult at best.

I am, as always, the proud dad.

*

We got back yesterday afternoon and I attended to town meeting in the evening. That is why you didn't get a posting last night. As for today, I was in meetings until almost 7:00 and now I'm goign to watch the Red Sox and fall asleep.

Hopefully things will return to normal in the next few weeks and I can get back to posting informative information.

Still on break

I know I said I was on break but what the hell, I'm sitting on a couch, watching the Red Sox and surfing the internets so I might as well give you something.

*

And speaking of the Red Sox managed, man they sucked yesterday. They managed to almost get themselves "no-hit" yesterday. It was an embarrassment to watch.

No one was hitting anything and Buchholz stunk the place up. The Rangers hit almost everything he threw at them while the Red Sox hit nothing that Darvish threw at them.

The final score was 8-0 with the Red Sox getting only one hit.

Let's hope tonight is better.

*

Try these links:

• Key entry from our favorite police log: "9:20 a.m. A balding man in a trench coat stole some candy from a local store. He was last seen pedaling away on his bicycle."



• I like the expertly drawn eyebrows.

Busy day

As a matter of fact, it's going to be a busy weekend so I'm taking a break for the next two or three days.

Enjoy these links:

• A black mini-skirt with a black T-shirt? Doesn't that clash?



• Here's your Naked Guy In The News story



• Key entry from our favorite police log: "4:36 p.m. A Kalispell woman called in with a list of names and recommendations for future arrests."

We sat and we talked.....

The forum last night was interesting. I like to think I held my own despite not being a politician of any merit and I also like to think I didn't make a fool of myself.

My wife, who, after 29 years of marriage, is capable of speaking truthfully to me at all times, told me that she felt I did a pretty good job so I figure I got that going for me.

My observations about the other candidates are as follows: Man, you people love the sound of your own voice!

It was fun and I'd do it again if asked but it's not the most comfortable position to be in. Some members of the audience are highly informed and they have a laser focus on the particular issue that they want to discuss. If you try to BS them with some fluffy non-answer, they get frustrated and you know you've lost them.

I was approached by several folks afterwards and they all said things like, "I like your honesty" and "It's nice to hear from a straight shooter" and my favorite, "You are concise. I like that".

After 28 years in a job that requires me to give accurate and honest answers, I guess I've gotten pretty good at it.

It is possible I might have caught a more than a few people off guard when someone asked the question, "What do you think about changing the tax rate for businesses?"

Each of my opponents said that they favored leaving the business tax rate at the same level as the residential tax rate. One even went so far as to say that we should look at raising the rate if it might be helpful.

Then they handed the microphone to me.

I took a deep breath, look the audience in their collective eye and said, "I actually favor lowering the business tax rate. Business use fewer town resources, they put less strain on the town resources they do use and it might be an incentive for a new business to come into town, take over one of those dilapidated eyesores and replace it with something far more attractive. That increases the tax base and might actually result in more revenue for the town."

That raised a few eyebrows.

And that is how I like it.

I like being the guy that makes people stop and think for a second.

*

You might find these interesting:

• We don't pay cops, or prison guards, enough money.



• Key phrase in this story: "Alcohol has no place in the bush or prior to embarking on a major tramp."



• Hey, take it any way you can get it....

Busy Day.

Today was Meet the Candidates day so I didn't have a lot of time for interweb surfing.

That means this is short with only a few links:

• Key phrase in this story: "...the sombrero-wearing individual appeared intoxicated upon arrival."



• Key phrase in this story: "...standing in front of the business, apparently intoxicated..."



• Key phrase in this story: "...more than 2000 drunken Cambridge University students stripping off, vomiting and drinking themselves unconscious..."



• Only in Florida.

The insomnia has returned

I didn't get a lot of sleep on Sunday night and last night was worse. I think I got about 2 hours total last night so I decided to take today off because there was no way I was going to be productive.

Or awake.

Hopefully tonight is better.

*

Speaking of better, the Red Sox are playing the Reds tonight in an inter-league game.

The Reds are playing slightly better than the Red Sox with a half a game lead but they are outscoring the Red Sox by 23 runs. That means the Reds are losing just as often as the Red Sox but not because they are leaving guys on base. The Red Sox are losing because they are constantly leaving guys on base.

If the Red Sox can figure out how to get those base runners to cross home plate, they will start winning.

*

Here are some links:

• Oops.



• I don't see a problem with this.



• Cattistock: Land of excitement.



• Only in Florida.

No baseball today.

The Red Sox are having a difficult time crossing that 500 mark. They just can't string together a collection of hits at the right time. They can get on base but they don't touch home plate.

This is not going well....

*

I decided that I would give you a visual "Only in Florida" today:

Yes, that is a Florida license plate.

*

Time for another episode of Mr. Optimism.

I was driving to work this morning, looking at my opponents lawn signs along the way, and it occurred to me that if everyone with a lawn sign is voting for my opponents, everyone without a lawn sign must be voting for me!

This has been another episode of Mr. Optimism.

*

You might like these links:

• More proof that there is something very wrong with our species.



• I do not want any news story or obituary about me to ever contain the line, "He was killed by a toilet."



• Only in New Jersey.



• Key photo caption in this story: "A rare picture of antechinus on top of something other than another antechinus."



• Key phrase in this video: "911 OR NOT?"



• Oh, Canada.



• For the record, I would not be happy if my belly button exploded.

Really long day

We left our house at 8:00 this morning, drove to Burlington, VT and took my daughter out to lunch. Then we went back to her dorm and loaded a fair chunk of her "stuff" into the car, said our goodbyes and headed south.

We got off the highway and headed to Keene, NH to take my son out to dinner. Then we went back to his dorm, loaded some of his "stuff" into the car, said our goodbyes and headed south.

We arrived home around 7:30 this evening, unloaded all of their "stuff" and now I'm calling it a day.

*

I do have one thing to share with you.

While we were at the restaurant in Burlington, I decided to take advantage of an available men's room. As I stood there, taking care of my business, I looked up to see this:

I think she is being judgmental.

I did not expect to be judged.

Specially by Audrey Hepburn.

*

Enjoy your evening.

The Red Sox are winning.

They beat up on the Athletics pretty good last night with Pedroia hitting a grand slam and then they beat up on them again this afternoon when Gomes hit a grand slam.

But enough about the Red Sox. I'm trying to figure out what the hell the Brewers are doing.

Ever since they decided to give Bob "Mr. Baseball" Uecker a new statue up in the last row of the Miller Field, no one can beat them. They are currently at 21 wins, 9 losses which gives them the best record in all of the MLB.

You can bet I'll be paying attention to them....

*

Try these links:

• This is your brain. This is your brain on drugs. Any questions?



• Only in Florida.



• Pffftttt.... Rednecks.....

The Red Sox are not winning

Yesterday, the Red Sox played a double-header against the Rays and they managed to lose both games.

This puts them into a tie for last place in the AL East.

This is not a good thing for them and if they keep it up, they'll have a major hole to dig out of later on.

*

Here are some links:

• Oh Canada.



• They did WHAT????



• Only in Florida.

I'm betting there will be cameras involved.

I got home last night and my wife informed me that there was a message on the answering machine for me. It was a cryptic call from someone associated with our local public access channel.

The message was a simple, "Hi, this is.... from Wilbraham Public Access. Call me at.... or email me at...."

I'm betting that no matter what he wants, it will involve me sitting in front of a camera.

Oh, this should go well.

*

Here are today's links:

• I want one of these.



• Looks like the Swedes are making headway in their quest to replace the Japanese as the craziest people on the planet.



• Only in California.