Back to work tomorrow.

I'm beginning to think that maybe I should start pouring more money into my retirement account so I can retire sooner rather than later.

I really enjoy not working.

*

Our esteemed governor is still talking about stuff he doesn't know anything about. And by "know anything about", I mean he has never seen the evidence, he has never spoken to anyone witnesses and he has never talked to the police officer.

All he knows is that he needs to keep his name in the press and he can do that by talking about the latest and greatest news. Even if he doesn't know anything about it.

I'll be glad when January gets here and he loses access to the political machine of Massachusetts.

*

Here are some links:

• How to cook shrimp, Japanese style. Don't worry about the sound.



• He's got my vote.



• Key phrase in this story: "Form an orderly cue."



• This one made me laugh. And yes, you should turn on the sound, just not too loud.

Transmissions, windshields and workbenches.

My daughter called us from work yesterday afternoon and said, "My windshield is cracked".

That means a new windshield.

Thank goodness for comprehensive insurance coverage.

*

My daughter came home last night after work and said, "My car kinda kinda clunks when I start off".

That means a problem with the transmission.

Thank goodness for extended warranties.

*

My workbench is once again cleaned and ready for it's next project. Not sure what that will be but at least the bench is cleaned.

Also, it has been my experience that a clean workbench makes for a reasonably happy wife.

*

This is my very relaxed and very comfortable dog after his Thanksgiving dinner.

*

You might want to click on these:

• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminals of the Week. Bonus points for being local girls.



• Yes, alcohol was involved. And also potato chips.



• I kind of hope this kind of thing happens at my funeral. It would be hilarious.



• Only in Florida.

I don't care if it's black, green or orange Friday.

There is no way I would ever set foot in a store today.

*

Thanksgiving was a success and I think we'll do it again next year.

*

You can click on these if you want:

• Good Lord, I hope not....



• Only in Florida.



• You need to spend at least 30 minutes scrolling through this site.



• Only in Massachusetts.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Hopefully you all have a good day, you eat too much turkey and you have to let your belt out a notch or two.

That's my plan...

*

Remember, if you plan on going shopping tomorrow, be prepared to defend yourself.

Since I can't stand shopping or the mass of humanity, I'll be spending my dollars at Amazon and NewEgg.

*

Between mouthfulls of turkey, you can click on these links:

• It's one of them rare banana guns.



• I posted this before but the mugshot compels me to post it again.



• What do you think she going to do with a pallet of sausage.....



• I've been to New Castle and I didn't think it smelled at all.



• Key scientific theory in this story: "The Cydonian Hypothesis"....



• Only in Florida.

That's no 10 inches....

Despite the fact that it snowed almost all day, we only ended up with 2 or 3 inches of slush. Granted, it was very, very heavy slush but slush none-the-less.

*

I have a headache caused by the nitrogen dousing on the mole on my scalp.

Just thought I'd let you know that...

*

I've been thinking about the moves the Red Sox made the other day.

My thoughts on the players (Sandoval and Ramirez) is neither good nor bad. What I am concerned about is the limited scutlebutt around Jon Lester. And my concern is not just that the Red Sox don't seem to be focused on him, it's that I think someone else is.

I will not be shocked if Jon Lester shows up in a Yankees uniform...

*

You can click on these:

• Some people are idiots.



• Only in Florida (Name of the day: "Skeeter")



• We played some intense Monopoly games when I was a kid but we never came to blows.

Long Day = Short Post

I went into work for the morning and made some changes to some jobs.

Then I went to John's and (kinda) fixed his computer.

Then I went to the doctors to have some nitrogen sprayed on a mole.

Then I went back to work to fix some problems with the changes I made this morning.

And now I'm home trying to figure out what to say about the rioting going on.

Actually, I have something to say about the rioting:

What the hell is wrong with you people?

Catch you all tomorrow.

Kind of a crappy day to take off

But, as they say, a bad day off is better than a good day at work.

*

They say it's going to snow on Wednesday.

They say we might get 6 to 10 inches by Thursday morning.

They say the roads might be icy under the snow.

I'm hoping that "they" are wrong like they usually are.

*

Looks like the Red Sox may have picked up Hanley Ramirez and Pablo Sandoval.

Ramirez is somewhat of a problem child, both with his attitude and his physical state. He's a bit of a arrogant twit who tends to get injured. A lot.

As for Sandoval, everyone of his teammates and non-teammates love the guy. His big problem is going to be his weight. Of course, I'm not one to talk about anyone's weight so I'll just leave that one alone.

Now if they can sign Jon Lester or Max Scherzer as their ace, they might just kick a$$ in 2015.

*

Here's a few links you can click on:

• Will Reid has a sense of humor.



• If you've never heard of them, let me enlighten you to the comedy styling's of Garfunkel and Oats.



• Key entry from our favorite police log: "6:30 p.m. Someone watched a drunken man successfully pull into the parking lot of a sandwich shop."

It might be time to put the lawn stuff away.

I finished the back yard this afternoon and I'm thinking it might be time to put the lawn equipment away.

It's not that I think the leaves are done falling out of the trees, it's that I think I'm sick and tired of picking them up.

*

This makes me laugh out loud every time I see it:

*

I don't normally spend a lot of time watching football but the way the Patriots have been playing lately makes me want to watch. They seem to be unstoppable and damned fun to watch.

*

Here are some links:

• Whoa....



• Here's your Naked Guy In The News story.

One again, my gutters are clean.

I can't help but notice that as I've gotten older, I've developed a "concern" about heights. Not a fear, just a concern.

When I was a kid, I had zero problem being up high. Nothing intimidated me and I enjoyed being in the tops of trees or on the roof of our house. I never once thought to myself, "Man, if you fall you are gonna shatter your innards and end up as a sack of phlegm."

Now, when I'm on the roof of my house, I find myself thinking things like, "This could end poorly. Thanks goodness I'm worth more dead than alive."

My wife does't like it when I say that.

*

While taking a picture of the serial number of my lawn tractor, I discovered this picture I took in Vegas last week.

It's the view I had while sitting on my hotel room toilet.

*

Attention baseball people:

Pitchers and Catchers report in 90 days.

This has been your baseball update. We now return you to your regular programming

*

Here are some links you might like:

• Only in Florida.



• If you were wondering what to get me for Christmas....



• Only in Alaska.

Guess who's on vacation....

I was going to take the whole week off but I want to be at work on Tuesday to do some imporatant Tuesday stuff.

I'm taking Monday, Wednesday and Friday as vacation days. In case you failed to notice, Thursday is a holiday and I already have that off.

So I'll be spending my week doing "stuff" like getting the last of the leaves off my lawn, sleeping late, making sure my gutters are cleared, sleeping late, eating turkey, taking naps and last but not least, sleeping late.

*

Try these links out:

• Only in Florida.



• Key lie in this story: "The House has an obligation to stand up for the Constitution". (In my opinion, no branch of the federal government has stood up for the constiution in a very, very long time...)



• I think they call it plagiarism...

Not a long day but a busy one.

And it's going to get busier.

During the first three weeks of December, we will have a contractor on board helping us reconfigure some fairly important stuff. This guy is a true wizard and we are looking forward to working with him but it's going to involve long days.

Today involved lots of work trying to figure out how we are going to measure our risk and our capacity. In business, they call this "metrics" and at my company, it's all about the metrics.

The problem I see with this is that we are spending so much time trying to come up with metrics that we don't have enough time to get work done.

Which is just another way of saying that we are trying to measure what we aren't doing...

*

There is a website in Russia called insecam that I will let you go find on your own. The sight is streaming thousands of unsecured webcams.

You should go see if you are there....

*

Try these links out:

• Personally, I make it a practice to never eat anything sold at a gas station.



• Key phrase in this story: "...had to cuff him with two pairs of handcuffs due to his size."



• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminal of the Day.



• Key entry from our favorite police log: "3:05 p.m. A woman on Dawn Drive in Columbia Falls reported that a happy chocolate lab was in her yard."

Buffalo got a lot of snow.

While I'm pretty sure that CNN is once again exaggerating when they say, "Six feet of snow" I'm also pretty sure that there is a lot of snow out that way.

My cousin Irene posted a message on Facebook that said they were house-bound for more than a few days. She did not sound happy but I cheered her up by letting her know that there were only 120 days until spring.

*

You might enjoy these links:

• Here's your Naked Guy In The News story.



• Not the brightest guy around, is he...



• Only in Florida.



• Also only in Florida. And the mug shot is one of the best.

Long Day = Short Post

I got wrapped up in a bunch of stuff at work today, including a long and boring conference call with a vendor trying to sell us stuff I don't know if I need yet.

Why is it so hard for sales people to understand the statement, "I haven't seen the product in use in my environment yet. That won't happen until after we have our first set of meetings with the project manager. Once I know what the product can do and how it functions in our environment, I can make a decision."

What I want to add at the end of the sentence is, "Now shut the hell up!"

*

Here is a link or two:

• It's only a matter of time before someone in the media coins the phrase, "turkey violence".



• Whoa... I had some strict teachers in high school but never this strict.

It gets dark to early...

With the rain and clouds this afternoon, it was dark at 4:15 this afternoon.

This sucks.

*

The holidays are fast approaching and I would like to ask you to consider helping out the young men and women of the military.

I always give these folks a few bucks from my PayPal account.

*

You can click on these links:

• Are they saying this is illegal?



• He should go buy a lottery ticket.



• Key phrase in this story: "motorists were slowing down to watch."



• What does this guy have that gives him the ability to control young women and where can I get some.

Time for some trivia

Not much going on so I figured I'd pass on some trivia:

• Sigmond Freud was pretty certain that cocaine was the cure for everything.



• The solar system does not rotate around the Sun. It orbits around the center of mass of the solar system called the barycenter. The barycenter moves according the the locations of the planets.



• Billy the Kid's real name was William H. McCarty, Jr and he was born in New York City.



• Strawberry Field and Penny Lane are real places from John Lennon's childhood.

Thus ends our trivia episode.

Once again, my lawn is clean.

It's time for Obama Care version 2.0 to kick into gear and I can't wait to hear the battling news stories.

FOX news will continue to try and convince us this yet another abject failure of a socialistic government and NBC news will continue to try to convince us that Obama and his health care plan are the single best thing to happen to the United States of America since the Founding Fathers framed the Constitution.

It'll make for some interesting reading.

*

Here are some links:

• It's the old, "I'm the Cake Boss!" defense.



• Presenting the worlds best headline.



• You just gotta love dogs.



• Oops.

Man, I'm tired.

Changing time zones is a killer.

I tried to stay on east coast time but being in Vegas and falling asleep at 6:00 at night is kind of a bummer. The problem is, I'm now back on east coast time and my brain is still on pacific time. That means I'm screwed up more than I usually am.

So now I'm struggling to stay awake while at the same time I'm struggling to fall asleep.

Sucks to be me.

*

Try these links:

• This one has everything: A drunk redneck in a trailer with a gun.



• Only in Florida.



• Yes, we have rednecks in Massachusetts...



• Is it just me or does anyone else think the French tend to overreact to the dumbest things.



• Art: Some of us just don't get it.



• Oh please...



• Women of Kodiak: Beware.

I'm back!!!

So my Vegas business trip is over and I'm still in one piece. Kind of tired but none-the-worse for wear.

I managed to come home with money in my pocket. Not a lot but that wasn't because I gambled, it was because we rode the New York New York roller coaster, we drove out to the Hoover Dam and we bought a few things.

We also made it over to the Gold and Silver Pawn Shop. Trust me, it's a lot smaller than it looks on TV and it's also kinda seedy.

*

So know that I'm back in the eastern time zone, I need to adjust my sleeping schedule back to normal, whatever that is....

*

Links will be offered tomorrow. Tonight I'm going to sleep.

Jack Hoffman is a dingbat

And his son Todd ain't to bright either.

At some point you would think they would learn how to mine for gold instead of winging it and relying on "gut feelings".

*

My bags are packed and I'm pretty much ready to go conduct some "business".

I hope "business" goes my way...

*

Here's a couple of links:

• Yes, alcohol was involved.



• Key entry from our favorite police log: "3:55 p.m. Three goats were seen eating grass along Highway 93 South."

Fair warning

During the next week, you may experience a marked decrease in the number of posts.

I will be on a business trip in a secret location that rhymes with Vas Legas.

During that time, I will conducting large amounts of business. I'm not at liberty to discuss the business because what happens in Legas stays in Legas but trust me, I will be conducting business.

Hopefully all that business does not empty my bank account....

*

You can click on these links:

• It's the old, "I thought it was my aunts house" defense.



• Only in Pennsylvania.



• I hope we don't have this issue on our way to Vas Legas...



• Welcome to New Jersey where, "Hey, you can jes fugedabodit and pay da friggin bill..."



• Here's something I didn't need to know before embarking on a 8 hour flight....

Today did not go like I wanted it to go.

I was hoping to be home by 4:00 but that didn't happen.

As a matter of fact, I didn't get home until 8:00.

That is way later than I should be getting home and I blame work.

*

Here are some links:

• It's the old, "How much money will it take..." defense.



• Stolen Cow would be a great name for a bad 1980s ice cream treat.



• Only in Florida.

Long Day = Short Post

I wish I had gotten home early enough to clean the leaves out of my gutters. I'm pretty sure I'm going to have overflowing gutters tomorrow...

*

Here are a couple of links:

• Hey, he tried. Can you blame him....



• Key phrase in this story: "...the building's dark arches provide a favored spot for urination..."

Yes, I voted. I hope you voted too.

The turnout seemed pretty good when I went through around 4:15 this afternoon. There were a lot of people and my ballot was number 1038 through the machine. Assuming the other three precincts are about the same, that works out to around 4,000 folks casting votes in town.

That's not a bad turnout.

*

Speaking of voting, I'll be glad when this election is over. We are getting an average of foru or five calls a day from politicians and their campaigns.

It's getting annoying.

*

Here are some links for you:

• Hey look everybody! It's the religion of peace!



• Only in Florida.



• There is nothing I can add to this.



• Here something scienceeeee for you.



• Yes, alcohol was involved.

I am not happy that it's dark at 4:30pm....

Driving to work when the sun is up is nice but I hate driving home in the dark. And if you thought my sleep schedule was screwed up before, you ain't seen nothing yet.

I fell sound asleep in my recliner last night at the start of the 4th quarter of the Patriots game. That was around 8:30...

I can't wait to see what time I fall asleep tonight...

*

Here are a few links you might like:

• Key phrase in this story: "...mum thinks I’m an idiot, dad’s not too proud either."



• Only in New Jersey.



• Apparently they have spider problem in Baltimore.

My lawn got done today

With the wind blowing like it is, I expect that come tomorrow morning you won't be able to tell I got all the leaves off my lawn today.

Oh well.

*

To gamble or not to gamble. That is the question....

I'm not really a gambler. I've been to as Vegas 4 or 5 times on business and each time, I've taken $50 or $100 to play penny slots and be served free beer by young scantily-clad ladies. If I hit the slots, I move over to the cheapest blackjack table I can find and play that until I'm broke.

This Tuesday, we will be asked to vote for or against the casino by voting yes to cancel the expanded gambling law or voting no to leave the law as it stands and allow the casinos to move forward.

If the casino was going to be built in Palmer, I'd vote to stop the expanded gambling laws. The last thing Wilbraham needs is a casino in Palmer.

But the casino isn't going to be in Palmer. It's going to be in Springfield. As a matter of fact, it's going to be in downtown Springfield which puts it as far away from Wilbraham as possible and still keeping it in Springfield.

If you don't know Springfield, count your blessings.

Springfield is a sh!thole and I'm pretty sure Springfield needs to do something to improve its lot. The city of Springfield is a poster child for the current fiscal state of our economy. If you look up sh!thole in the dictionary, a map of Springfield will be next to the definition.

If you don't believe me, here are some stats I pulled from various federal government websites:

• Springfield unemployment rate = 10.3%
• Massachusetts unemployment rate = 5.8%
• Springfield high school graduation rate = 54.9% which means 45.1% don't graduate.
• Springfield median income = $31,356
• Massachusetts median income = $65,339
• Percentage of Springfield residents receiving SNAP (food stamps) = 42%
• There have been 14 murders in Springfield since January 1, 2014.

So basically, half the population is receiving food stamps, half the kids don't graduate and that 10% unemployment rate is more than likely 50% unemployed because the government only counts those people applying for unemployment assistance or are utilizing government facilities to search for jobs.

Springfield has no where to go but up. No matter how bad things get with a casino, they'll still be better than what they are now.

If you don't believe me, take a drive through Six Corners, Winchester Square or Old Hill.

I suggest you arm yourself before you go...

*

Don't even think about getting me started on the expanded bottle bill (no), eliminating the gas tax tied to inflation (yes) and sick days for employees of small businesses (no).

*

Try these links:

• Key phrase in this story: "Sometimes things like that happen."



• It's the old "Jared made me do it" defense.



• Only in Florida.



• Pfffttt.... Nerds.....



• Here's your Naked Guy in The News story.



• Oops.

So much for getting my lawn done.

The rain kinda put a stop to my plans and I suspect that come tomorrow, the wind will put them on hold as well.

Oh well, I didn't really feel like picking up all of the leaves that blew across the street from my neighbors lawn onto mine...

*

Halloween was a bust for my neighborhood. We had about 10 or 15 kids and then the rain hit.

The last group we saw was the 5 kids being driven around in a wagon pulled by a lawn tractor. They seemed to be having a good time but I think the dad driving the tractor was in a hurry to get out of the rain.

All in all, it wasn't a bad night because I ended up with a ton of leftover candy...

*

We took my daughter out for her birthday dinner this evening. We opted for Outback down in Enfield because we've always gotten a decent meal with good service from them.

Besides, she likes the chicken and lobster tail special.

*

There is no baseball for the next few months.

Thank goodness Gold Rush is back on.

*

Here are a couple of links:

• Only in Florida.



• Key entry from our favorite police log: "4:49 p.m. A conversation about Subway and digging for worms was overheard during an accidental call to 911."