Home at last.

Over the last three days, my wife and daughter have been visiting vet schools that are located not anywhere near here.

They started in Indiana at Purdue University and then headed over to Iowa to see Iowa State University. This meant they took several airplane flights to very flat cities.

I don't envy them.

I'm sure they are glad to be home and not in an airport, a plane, a hotel or a college campus.

I know the dogs and I are glad they're home.

*

While I enjoy the fact that my wife and daughter are home, you can click on these:

• Welcome to Florida comrade.



• Someone invented this...

She talks a lot.

The Small Emergency Backup Dog has taken to talking to us.

She runs into the room, stops in front of me and starts with the "harrraah, whine, haraaahahaa" while tilting her head back and forth. I look at her and say, "That's nice. And then what did you do?" That's when she runs out of the room and starts playing with her toys.

Two minutes later, she runs back in the room and tells me all about her day.

Again.

*

Here are a few links for you to visit:

• Only in California.



• This is what is known as a first world problem.



• Penis Panics would be a great name for a 1970s porn movie.

My dogs are crazy.

The small emergency backup dog (SEBD) has decided that burrowing under blankets is fun. The large main dog (LMD) sleeps in the bed with us and when the SEBD is under the covers, she "attacks" him. This causes the LMD to growl, snap and then leap off the bed. That is when the SEBD comes out from under the blankets and leaps off the bed so she can "frolic" with the LMD.

The big problem with all of this is that I get woken up by those two nutcases who think 2:00am is great time for playtime.

*

I was chatting with a very good friend of mine the other day and we got on the subject of the issues with Springfield.

My friend is a pretty bright guy. He is a lawyer for a large firm in New York and prior to that, he was a town manager for several towns in the eastern part of the state. Before that, he worked for Congressman Edward Boland. In other words, when he talks about cities and towns, he knows what he's talking about.

He said something to the effect of:

"Springfield constantly elects idiots for mayor. There is no reason that Springfield shouldn't be one of the nicest cities in the state of Massachusetts."

"Think about it - it has a major river running through it, it is at the intersection of two major highways and it is surrounded by some of the most beautiful sceanery in the nation. Why isn't it a thriving tourist/retail/business metropolis?"

"What Springfield needs is a professional city manager who understands how to take advantage of those benefits and turn that city into something good."

Like I said, he's a pretty bright guy. I'd say he's got it about 90% right. The other 10% of the problem is that the state government thinks the state ends at Worcester and all that's out here are rubes, rednecks and James Taylor at Tanglewood. For every tax dollar we pay, they send back sixty cents and as far as they are concerned, we should be pleased with that.

We kinda get screwed and it shows.

*

Here are some links:

• How is it that this guy hasn't been shot yet?



• If it's on the internet, it must be true!



• You gotta love dogs.

No post today

Too much going on right now.

I lied.

Remember when I said that 4 hours of sleep would be the best nights sleep ever?

Yea, not so much.

I fell asleep at 10:00 last night and slept clean through to 2:30 in the morning. Now I'm struggling to stay awake in my recliner at 6:00 at night.

So much for the best nights sleep ever....

*

Here are some links:

• Only in Florida.



• Also only in Florida.



• This probably won't turn out good.



• This is why I don't drink "lite" beer.

I'm tired...

...which is pretty normal for me.

Seems like I'm always tired.

One of these days, I'm going to fall asleep and sleep for more than 4 hours straight. That will be the best nights sleep ever.

*

You can visit these links if you want:

• Abe, we hardly knew ye.



• Only in Florida.



• Only in New Jersey.



• Only in Florida.



• Researchers: Contributing to the betterment of our society or a complete waste of perfectly good oxygen. We report, you decide.

Much adieu about nothing

Now that the football season is over with, it's time once again for us to turn our focus on that great all-American sport, baseball.

The Red Sox, under the control of Dave Dombrowski, have made some changes in their lineup that should help but as long as they are saddled with Hanley Ramirez and Pablo Sandoval, you can bet it's going to be an uphill battle.

The decision to move Ramirez over to first base means that Travis Shaw, who played an outstanding first base last season, will be relegated to either a small utility role or sent down to Pawtucket until Ramirez hurts himself. As for Sandoval, that simply means that Holt will continue to play a utility roll while his natural position is occupied by a large, poorly-performing guy from the west coast.

I will leave you all with one thought: On September 1st, the Red Sox stood at .462. Hanley Ramirez was put on the disabled list and on October 4th, the Red Sox stood at .481. This means that with Ramirez, they sucked. Without Ramirez, they played well.

*

Here are a few links:

• This is what is known as thinning of the herd.



• And after seeing her picture, I can't say I blame him.



• Well, I suppose if you didn't have one and you wanted one, a rat-based one would be acceptable.

The Broncos will be playing in the SuperB owl.

Despite the fact they played like crap, the Broncos managed to beat the Patriots and win the AFC championship.

This means Peyton Manning will be playing in the SuperB owl in what is predicted to be his final season in the NFL.

*

Try these links out:

• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminal of the Day.



• Ouch!



• There are some things that didn't need to be invented.

Good thing I don't live in the Virginia

It looks like the mid-Atlantic cost managed to get it's collective butt kicked by the storm and there are hundreds of people stranded on highways.

Why do those people all go on the highways when it snows?

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Here are a few links:

• Only in Florida.



• Something tells me dad is not gonna be happy with his little girls boyfriend.



• Here's a headline you don't normally see.



• He did what???

Quick update

Another school has invited my daughter to interview as a candidate. That means she has interviewed at one school, has four more interviews scheduled and is waiting to hear from one more school who has already indicated that she has made the cut to phase two of the selection process.

I have nothing but good thoughts about this but she has indicated that I should not say anything for fear that I will jinx her.

So I'm not going to say that I hope she gets into the school she interviewed at on Wednesday.

*

Try these links out:

• I'm not entirely sure what to say about this...



• Key phrase in this story: "..no one has as yet verified Canavero’s claims."



• He must have really, really liked that car.

Not much to say today.

Other than telling you that "millions" are in the  path of a "monster" storm of "historic" porportions towards some part of the East Coast and you should prepare yourself by rushing to the store buy all the bread & milk you can find, I've got nothing to go on about.

*

Try these links on for size:

• Mr. and Mrs. Smith got nothing on me. I've boycotted them for the last 58 years.



• Attention New Jersey residents: Feel free to shovel.



• Yet another case of the old "I have no idea how that got there!" defense.



• Suspicious Bacon would be a great name for a 1970s pop band.



• Oops...

It was a good day.

The interview went well and while she was doing that, I attended a session on financial aid.

After that, we went on a tour of the campus.

The campus is actually a 560 acre farm with several high-tech teaching facilities on it and we went on two different tours. The first was a tour of the large animal facility, the small animal facility and the wildlife facility. The second tour was the campus center, the main lecture hall and the laboratory.

I realize that during these recruitment events, the students and instructors all try to be on their best behavior but in this case, not only were they all very nice, the students that were running the tours all kept telling the candidates how much they feel like their class is a big family. They were all genuinely happy to be at the school.

Also, I don't want to say that this is a fancy, high-class school but this is the door to the Men's Room:

Just sayin' is all.

We did find out that there were more than 1500 applicants for this class and they have trimmed that number down to 400 candidates. Those candidates will interview over the next few days and from that group of 400, they will accept only 98 students into the class.

So anyways, I guess we'll know in mid to late February if she made the cut. Until then, she has interviews at three more schools to worry about.

Keep your fingers crossed.

*

I didn't have a lot of link surfing time but I did find these for you:

• Key phrase in this story: "...my stupid joke led to all this."



• It's the old, "I have no idea how those got there!" defense.



• They might not have any food but they got hangover-free booze!

Back at work for one day.

Tomorrow I will be on a vacation day so I can accompany my daughter on her trip out to visit Tufts School of Veterinary Medicine. She will be interviewed by a faculty board to determine if she and the school are a good fit for each other.

The schools encourage the candidate students to bring a family member along on these interviews. I'm pretty sure they encourage it so the student has someone to talk over what they saw and discuss the merits (or demerits) of the school.

I'm hoping they don't want to interview me, just my daughter, because I have no desire to go to vet school. I am, however, looking forward to going with my little girl to see what we all kind of hope will be her future educational institute.

*

Here are some links:

• Only in Florida.



• I have one question: Where did she get her degree in nutrition?



• Attention criminals: If it is your intention to lead a life of crime, you probably shouldn't cover your body with distinctive marks that make it easy to identify you.



• Holy crap!! How big is the littler box???

I like 3-day weekends.

We need more 3-day weekends. As a matter of fact, I think every weekend should be 3 days long.

Just a thought.

*

I found some links:

• Shortly after he gives his first performance, we'll be reading a story about his second performance where they tied him to a post in the town square and burned him alive.



• I've said it before and I'll say it again: This is what happens when we expect a government to run itself like a business. Children get lead poisoning...



• And them good old boys were drinkin' whiskey and rye....



• I know some guys that if they get enough beer in them, they're gonna make this call.



• Something tells me she isn't going to do very well in jail.

And the Patriots will play....

I'm watching the Steelers / Broncos game right now and I'm liking what I see. The Steelers are up by only one point at the half but it's the way the points are being scored that give me hope.

The Broncos have yet to score a touchdown and if they think they can win this game on nothing but field goals, good for them. I'd like them to keep that attitude and let the Steelers keep on pushing into the end zone for touchdowns.

I'm hoping that next week, Payton Manning is on vacation and the media is chasing him down trying to find out what happened to all the HGH that got delivered to his house...

*

Here are today's links:

• I wonder if Have-A-Go-Heroes are the British version of the A-Team.



• Oh great. First the stock market crashes, now this.



• This is why women live longer than men.



• I'd want to know if I had ass cancer.

Nice lazy day

I spent most of the day doing almost nothing.

That's a pretty good way to start a 3-day weekend.

*

You can visit these links:

• Here's your Naked Guy In The News story. And yes, I know it's a woman but look at her picture and tell me that's not a guy.



• No groundhog for Groundhog Day.



• Only in Florida.



• Key phrase in this story: "Mass Transit Refrigerator Guy"



• This wasn't your normal biting attack, this was a biting and stabbing attack.
  (And they say guns are violent...)

Nope, still not a Powerball winner.

And if the stock market keeps doing what it's doing, I'm never going to be a retiree either.

*

Here are some links:

• Attention children everywhere: If you ever do anything like this to me, I will activate the Bill Cosby Doctrine.



• Oh Canada.



• This is your brain. This is your brain on drugs. Any questions?



• Bony-Eared Assfish would be a great name for a 1950s Dick Tracy bad guy



• Key phrase in this story: "...it might have been a bitey snake."

I need to get more sleep.

This waking up three and four times a night has to come to an end.

Maybe I should stop drinking 20 or 30 ounces of water every night...

*

No, I did not win Powerball.

Neither did you.

Or anyone you or I know.

Or anyone that you or I might come into contact with.

Lets face it, neither you nor I are ever going to see a penny of that 1.5 billion dollars.

I guess we just have to keep on working.

*

You can click on these of you can ignore them. Your choice:

• This is a great write-up about how the government of Flint, Michigan decided save money by poisoning its citizens.



• Aggressive Rabid Skunk would be a fantastic name for a 1990s punk band.



• Only in Florida.

Not much new today.

The stock market continues it's plummet into the basement. That means I'm never going to be able to retire.

We did, however, buy another bucket of powerball tickets. If that hits, not only will I be retiring, my entire team will be retiring and the company is going to have to figure out how to do the things that we do without us.

*

Links are here:

• Sounds like Connecticut Governor Malloy isn't the smartest guy in the room.



• Key phrase in this story: "Say no to David Bowie dead"

Long Day = Short Post.

Not really but it's snowing, I don't feel all that good and I didn't finish everything I wanted to get done today.

This has been todays whine. Tune in tomorrow for even more complaining, moaning, bitching and kvetching.

*

While I sit around dreaming about what it would be like to win the Powerball, you can click on these links:

• Only in Florida.



• I'm pretty sure this is against the law in a lot of states.



• Kiss a Python would be a great name for a 1960s porn movie.



• Sites like this are the reason they invented the internet. Well, that and porn....

Pitchers and catchers report in 38 days.

Also, my oldest will turn 27 years old.

Just thought I'd put that out there for ya.

*

My friends dad passed away last week and I went to the wake this afternoon. She is holding her own and her husband is a great guy who will help her get through this.

Having said that, let me just add that I have been to too many funeral homes lately.

*

Here are today's links:

• Good thing they're building a casino in Springfield. That should turn things right around.



• If I'm going to spend $200 million on a house, it better not have an infestation of 90 year old guys walking around in bath robes.



• Here's your Naked Guy In The News story.



• This is why I don't go to sporting events.

Sure was cold in Minnesota

I watched the Seahawks beat the Vikings this afternoon and it just looked cold out there. The temperature on the field was -3° and it showed.

I'm betting it hurt like hell when they got hit.

*

Try these links out for size:

• He will forever be known as "Shrimp Down His Pants".



• Oops.



• Once again, the Japanese have set the bar high in the "Craziest People on the Planet" contest.



• There is no way cops get paid enough.

So much for sleeping late

The dogs decided I needed to get up at 4:00 this morning so they could go out, wander around, sniff the ground, chew on some sticks and eventually poop.

I keep reminding myself that I love the dogs...

*

Try these links:

• Only in Florida.



• Only in Florida.



• Only in Florida.

No, I didn't watch.

I had no desire to watch the President of the United States give a lecture about how guns are evil and violent. It would have just pissed me off because guns aren't evil or violent.

People are evil & violent and restricting access to guns in no way stops people from being evil. We, as a species, will continue to be violent & evil and we will commit atrocities whether we have guns or not.

Just once I would like to see a member of our government see problem for what it is and come up with an actual solution instead of doing something incredibly ineffective.

*

Here are some links you might like:

• Attention family and friends in the world of Law Enforcement: Keep your head on a swivel and wear your damned vests.



• These people need to be eliminated.



• I'm in a 14-person pool. If you never hear from me again, you'll know why.

I hate filling out forms

Just sayin' is all.

*

While I spend my evening filling out forms, you can click on these links:

• Yes, alcohol was involved.



• Yes, alcohol was involved.



• Key phrase in this story: "If the first 88 times you don’t succeed..."



• It must have been a hell of a wedding.

Long Day = Short Post

I spent a lot of time at work doing things that needed to be done.

That means you get a short post.

*

I did manage to find some links:

• Key phrase in this story: "Chicken sweaters are fun and fashionable for your chicken!"



• If you are a Patriots fan, this is great.

What the hell is "firts"?

I read yesterdays entry and realized that maybe I need to pay more attention to what the spell-checker is telling me before I click the "publish" button.

*

Click on these links:

• Key phrase in this story: "...very detailed information"...



• Key phrase in this story: "He lived in Springfield for 34 years."



• Only in Florida.



• Key phrase in this story: "They put his torches out."

I got nothing for you.

My firts day back at work was a long day and as a result, I have nothing to share with you.

Tomorrow should be better.

*

Try these links:

• I don't know if this is true or not but it's funny as hell.



• This is why I don't order Domino's pizza.

It's gonna get cold.

According to the perky yet vacuous talking heads on our local news, we get to enjoy some single digit temps with below-zero windchills tomorrow morning.

Sounds like a good day to return to work.

*

You might want to click on these links:

• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminals of the 2015.



• Here's your Naked Guy In The News story.



• Attention idiots: Don't take selfies while committing a crime.



• You know I'm going to have to buy a couple of tickets...

One more day of sleeping late.

I'm back to work on Monday but the silver lining is that I once again have a full compliment of vacation time coming to me.

I'll probably do what I did last year and take every Monday off for a few months during the summer. I kind of enjoyed those three day weekends.

*

I have never joined the NRA. I have never had any desire to join the NRA. I always looked at the NRA as a collection of nutjobs with lots of guns.

But that is about to change....

The President has started using the words "gun violence" and saying that he is going to use executive action to control gun sales.

I want to remind the President that guns cannot be violent. They are pieces of machined metal that have no emotions whatsoever. It is people that are violent and thinking that preventing people from getting guns is going to help anything is a stupid way of thinking.

Violent people will commit violence with or without guns.

As a matter of fact, I'm thinking that taking guns away from violent people will only make them more violent and I shudder to think what they will use instead of guns.

It might be time for me to join the NRA...

*

Here are some links:

• Speaking of guns.



• "Meth in his pants" would be a great name for a 1950's children's book on potty training.



• All we have are mice.



• He was pretty damned good.

Happy New Year everybody!

*

So far, 2016 has been pretty darned good.

Granted, I still have a head cold but I'm not hungover and I've been watching the Twilight Zone marathon all day.

That, my friends, is a pretty damned good start to the year.

*

Here are some links I found while watching Rod Serling and his imaginative television program:

• Attention idiots everywhere: Don't post your stupidity on Facebook.



• Key phrase in this story: "Farting in the Middle Ages was a more complicated act than in this century."