Sorry about that

I managed to fall asleep without clicking the "publish" button last night. It's not like I had a lot to say
so you really didn't miss much.

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My wife, my daughter and the small emergency backup dog are making their way to Iowa so I just have The Dog to entertain me.

And just so you know, his version of entertainment is to lay upside down on the couch and snore.

Add in the occasional fart and you've got yourself some high-class entertainment right there...

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Here are a few links for you to enjoy:

• Here's your Naked Guy In The News story.



• Only in Florida.



• I bet at least one of you tries this.

The RMV no longer sucks

I didn't think it was possible but my wife received an email from the RMV that the title to my daughters car is being sent our address within the next few days.

I'm still not gonna hold my breath because it is the state of Massachusetts after all and if there is one thing I know, this state government can screw things up better than any other state government.

Another reason I won't hold my breath is because not only did they send an email, they also called the house at 2:15, as promised.

Yes sir, the phone rang at 2:15 and the caller ID said MassDOT. I answered it and was greeted by a computer voice saying that if I still wanted to talk to someone I should press 3. Since I'm a nice guy, I decided to press 3 and tell the person I spoke to that we were all set and thanks for calling us back.

I pressed 3 and I was immediately....

....put on hold.

I listened to the very bad on hold music for about 10 minutes and then I hung up.

Massachusetts state government motto: We're number one in screwing stuff up.

And for the record, we discovered how the RMV ended up with Colchester, VT as my daughters mailing address.

When my daughter turned 21, she stopped in Greenfield on her way home and renewed her drivers license. They took her picture and said, "We'll send this to Wilbraham when it's ready!" and she said, "Can you send it to me at college?" They said "Sure!" and that's how her college address became her official mailing address.

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I spent most of the day searching for the perfect job. Unfortunately, I've come to the conclusion there is no such thing.

I'll keep moving forward and looking. If I don't find the perfect job, I'm going to at least find a great job. If I don't find a great job, I'll find a good job. If I don't find a good job, I'll re-evaluate my choices and start over.

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Here are today's links:

• I am, as always, the proud uncle.



• Only in Florida.



• I don't even know why I'm including this link. It's gross, don't click on it.



• Here's your Naked Guy In The News story.

The RMV kinda sucks

Seems that the Massachusetts RMV has been sending excise tax bills, along with the title to her car, to my daughter up in Vermont. Problem is, my daughter hasn't lived in Vermont since she graduated from college in 2014. Also, she never had any dealings with the Massachusetts registry while she was in school up there so we have no idea how they ended up with that address.

My wife spent hours, and I do mean hours, on hold with the registry trying her damndest to straighten this out and get the title to my daughters car sent here to us.

After all that time on hold, she was informed that someone would contact her tomorrow at 2:15.

Trust me, she was pissed and it probably didn't help when I said, "Yea, right. I'll believe that when it happens."

Hopefully they actually call tomorrow and we can get the title sent to us.

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Here are todays links:

• Meet Bodie Shoff, the newest member of the A-Team.



• Apparently you aren't allowed to sell empty plastic bags on Craigslist.



• It's the old, "That is not what I ordered!" defense.



• Catholicism - A different kind of religion.



• It's the old, "Verizon made me do it!" defense.

We have lights!

My son bought us a Wink Hub for Christmas and I have successfully installed & configured it. If you don't know what a Wink Hub is, it is one of those home automation devices that rides on your wifi network. You can add numerous kinds of devices like light switches, light bulbs, thermostats, appliances, etc... to it and control them using your a cell phone app.

I can now turn my lights on from anywhere in the world.

The only problem is my daughter can also turn my lights on from anywhere in the world and she lives in Iowa. I imagine that at some point, when she is bored, she will decide to turn a light on and off at random.

That is when I will send her a text threatening to remove her access.

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Here are a few links for you:

• I wonder if they would have fired her if she had shot the robbers.



• Wait. Isn't this against the law? It's really stupid but it's also gotta be illegal.



• It's 2017 - Where the hell is my flying car!



• Key phrase in this story: "Once they were stabbed they decided to leave and go to the hospital."



• Here's your Naked Guy In The News story.



• I love my dog but I can tell you right now, there is no freakin' way I'm spending that much money on him.

Welcome to 2017

If 2016 is any benchmark for what's to come, I suggest you hang on folks because it's gonna be a bumpy ride. Remember, please keep your arms and legs in the vehicle at all times.

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On December 31, 2015, I made a series of predictions about 2016. Let's review them, shall we:

No, this will not be the year that I retire. Despite my desire to do so, my wife has made it clear that I am not allowed to sit around all day doing nothing.

Well, that didn't pan out quite like I wanted it to. I lost my job but I refuse to retire. I'm unemployed and looking because I need to feel like I'm doing something productive. Hopefully I'll find something in 2017.

No, I will not hit the lottery this year. Despite the fact that I purchase a multi-game Megabucks ticket every month, I have no luck whatsoever and I am confident that I will not win. Should that change, you will not know because I'll never admit to it.

No, I did not hit the lottery.

Yes, my youngest son will graduate from college and this will fulfill his commitment to obtain a degree. Once he completes his schooling, he and his band will go on a whirlwind national tour in the hopes of making his college degree completely unnecessary. I hope they are successful beyond everyone's wildest dreams. Either way, I will, as always, be the proud dad.

So far, so good. He is gainfully employed and the band is still playing gigs.

Yes, my daughter will be accepted into a school of veterinary medicine. This goes a long way in explaining entry number one on this list. I will, as always, be the proud dad.

Damned right she did. She's 1,200 miles away but they got these things called airplanes so we get to see her every once in a while

Yes, my eldest and his wife will find a nice house to buy and turn into a home. When that happens, I will, as always, be the proud dad.

Yes they did. A nice place in Framingham with a pool and plenty of room for their dog Jack to chase rabbits and poop.

Although I would like to lose some of the weight I've put on since I quit smoking, I won't make any resolutions to do so. That is because I do not make resolutions.

Wouldn't you know it, I've lost 22 pounds (according to my doctor) since December of 2015. Not bad for an old guy who is not on a diet.

I got one wrong and I missed a big one - my pilots license. Maybe I'm psychic. Maybe I should call Dionne Warwick and get a job on the Psychic Friends Network! (By the way, if you know what I'm referring to, you're old.)

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Now that we all know how psychic I am, let's take a look at some predictions for this coming year:

My youngest will continue playing with the band and working at the college up in Keene but he will decide to start pursuing a masters degree, just in case the whole band thing doesn't produce the income he would like.

My daughter will still be pursuing her Doctor of Veterinary Medicine out in Iowa. I'm going to hedge on this one just in case Tufts decides they think they would like her to transfer back here to Massachusetts. She might just say yes to that but we won't know until it happens.

My eldest and his wife will continue to build their life together out in Framingham. He will continue to use the brains he was born with and ask his life-scarred dad for advice before doing something insane like buying a chainsaw to cut down trees or installing new light switches.

If she can finagle it so that she can keep teaching her students, my wife will be named Assistant Dean and she will continue having a great group of people working for her that she loves.

As for me, I will be working. Somewhere. Anywhere. I'm trying my best to avoid going back to the stress-filled cubicle world that I spent thirty years living in. I have no idea where I will end up but you can bet it will be doing something useful in our society.

No matter what happens, I hope we all have a great 2017.

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I need to review the weather for the upcoming week because I want to fly.

If I can find a day with no wind, rain or snow, I'll schedule a plane and do some sight-seeing. Maybe head up to Keene and take my youngest up for a buzz around Monadnock and down the Quabbin.

While I spend some time reviewing the Metars and TAFs, you can visit these:

• Sounds to me like maybe someone has a few anger issues.



• Only in Florida.



• Scotland knows how to ring in the New Year.