Long Day = Short Post

Much to do at work and then a trip to Texas Roadhouse for dinner.

Also, the Red Sox are playing the Yankees this evening and that requires my undivided attention.

That makes me a busy guy with no time for spewage.

Enjoy these meager links:

• Only in Florida.



• You gotta love dogs.



• I can see why that would be a problem.

I miss my three-day weekends.

This past weekend was my final three-day weekend and I miss them already.

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The Red Sox are playing the Yankees this evening and I'm planning on falling asleep while watching it.

You can click on these links if you would like:

• I believe it's possible to measure someone's intelligence level by counting the number of face tattoos they have. One is a sign of incredible stupidity. More than one is a sign of severe mental retardation.



• Once again, I have to agree with Vlad.

Once again, the Red Sox are not in last place

They managed to sweep their three game series against the Orioles and are currently in possession of a half game lead over the Blue Jays.

They now go to New York to play a four game series against the Yankees and if they can take two of the four games, they might just hold their fourth place position because the Blue Jays are playing the Orioles and if my memory is correct, the Orioles have a historical tendency to beat the Blue Jays.

On the other side of my baseball world, the Pirates managed to clinch a spot  in the playoffs. They currently hold the first wild card spot and remain three games behind the Cardinals in their divisional race.

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Here are today's links:

• Only in Florida.



• Stay classy New York.



• Only in New York City.



• If you need proof that our society contains some incredibly stupid people, here it is.

Family visits

We spent the day visiting with some family. My sister had a bunch of us over to visit with some family that was in for a day or two from Pittsburgh. One of my cousins who was here is a guy I haven't seen in almost 20 years.

After about 5 minutes of talking, it was like we had seen each other every day.

We spent the entire time reminding each other of all the insane things we did as kids and how his dad was always covering for us.

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Since I spent my day not surfing for links or reading news, you don't get much of a post:

• Powerfully Built Women would be a fantastic name for a 1950s country-western band.



• Key phrase in this story: "his privates were out of control."



• Only in Florida.

I spent my day raking acorns

If you believe those old tales about how oak trees can predict a heavy witner by producing an incredible amount of acorns, then get ready for a bad one because man, do I got acorns.

I hauled at least 4 wheel barrow loads of acorns from my side yard and I bet each one weighed at least 50 or 60 pounds. That's a lot of acorns and now my back hurts, my legs hurt and my hands hurt.

That means I don't really feel like typing.

How about we just go for a couple of links and call it a night:

• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminal of the Day.



• Speaking of Brilliant Criminals....

Long Day = Short Post

How about a couple of links:

• If this happens, I'm moving to Mexico.



• Only at a WalMart in Florida.

The Red Sox are back in last place....

They lost to the Rays last night and I have nothing else to say about that.

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I had an "Event" happen this morning.

My car reached the 100,000 mile mark.

It still runs like it's brand new.

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Here are today's links:

• It ain't over till it's over.
  He was a damned good ball player and one of my childhood idols.



• Does anyone know if Charter carries the Zjarr channel?



• Human-Poop Dumpers would be a great name for a 1990's techno band.



• You need a license to drive a car and you need a license to get a dog but they'll let any asshole become a parent.

The Red Sox are no longer in last place!

With their win last night, they hold a 1/2 game lead over the Rays, putting them in fourth place in the ALEast and in eleventh place in the American League.

I realize that being 4 out of 5 or 11 out of 15 isn't stellar performance and probably shouldn't be celebrated but after the last two seasons of last place, I can't help but feel pretty damned good about the Red Sox.

It's like us Red Sox fans are reliving the 60s, 70s, 80s and 90s all over again...

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You can click here:

• Or as I like to call it, Survival of the Fittest!



• Here's your Naked Guy(s) In The News story.



• I'm not entirely sure where Skegness is but you should stay off the roads there.

Frustration levels are at an all-time high.

I'm getting a little frustrated with all of these "great new ideas" (or as I like to call them, "whims") that people seem to be coming up with.

I'm also getting a little sick and tired of people asking me if I can do things for them that are actually their job to do.

Add to that the insane pace of things that are coming our way and I'm feeling a little overwhelmed.

I think I need to give some serious thought to a career change. Maybe I'll take up a less stressful job like javelin catching or chainsaw juggling.

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Here are some links:

• Add this to the list of ways I don't want to die.



• Only in Florida. (That chick has a seriously crooked nose.)



• Key phrase in this story: "The horse knows the way home."

Thirty years may be a long time.

But it seems like it was just yesterday.

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For a brief moment today, the Red Sox were no longer in last place in the ALEast when they defeated the Blue Jays while the Rays were still playing the Orioles.

It was nice to look at the standings and see them listed as fourth place because while they were tied in games with the Rays, the Red Sox where ahead in runs scored vs. runs against.

Then the Orioles managed to lose to the Rays and the Red Sox dropped back into last place.

Oh well. They are in Boston for three games against the Rays and if they win two of the three, they will pretty much secure fourth place.

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You might like these links:

• Here's an interesting opinion piece on the kid with the clock.



• This is a pretty smart 7 year old kid. Mom however, not so much...



• Only in Florida (and maybe Springfield).

It was not a good day and I blame John

I didn't get home until 10:00 last night and that, my friends, is way too late for me. I should also mention that John and  I had a few adult beverages so my day today was not one of  my better days.

I did manage to get some things done today so I guess it wasn't a total loss.

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Here are a few links you can click on while I fall asleep in my recliner:

• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminal of the Day.



• Speaking of Brilliant Criminals....



• Only in Florida.

Guess I missed another post.

I managed to get home fairly early yesterday but I ended up falling asleep in my recliner.

Again.

That meant you didn't get my post about there being no Red Sox game on and what pray tell was I supposed to do with my time.

I guess we know what I did with my time.

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Tonight the Red Sox are playing the Blue Jays this evening and I will be watching them.

Hopefully they manage to win these games because they are currently half a game behind the Rays and if they can win while the Rays lose, they might just end the season in some place other than last.

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I will be watching that game while enjoying adult beverages with John.

You can click on these if you want:

• Yes, alcohol was involved.



• Only in Florida.



• Key line in this story: "...reasons for crossing still undetermined."



• The Italians have the best insults.



• I'm going to go with "yes" on this one.

He got his haircut!

My youngest sent us a text message today announcing that he was finally getting his haircut. If you know my son, you know that this is a momentous announcement because his hair is longer than the standard guy hair. Hell, it's longer than the hair worn by a lot of women in our species..

Not anymore.

He is now sporting a haircut that I'm sure he will find to be much easier to maintain.

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Here are a few links:

• Only in Florida.



• Oops.



• Those crazy Chinese...

Let's try this again.

Maybe this time I'll get this thing posted before I fall asleep in my recliner.

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Here are todays links:

• Some people have way too much time on there hands. And way too much pumpkin goop on their ass.



• Curse you, El Nino.



• There's a "World Champion" for this?



• Ouch,



• Key word I've never heard before: "frass".



• If two billion people use it, the whole planet is gonna smell like Bondi's Island.



• We don't pay cops enough.

House hunting...

...is a drag and I'm sure glad I don't have to do that anymore.

My oldest and his bride are house shopping and they are quickly discovering that house shopping is a first class pain in the ass.

Sellers think their house is worth way more than it is and buyers think every house they look at is worth a lot less than the market says it is.

I don't envy them on this journey but I expect that when all is said and done, they'll find the home of their dreams and be quite happy. Until then, it kinda sucks to be them.

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Here are some interesting yet interesting links:

Bah, the hell with it.

It's late and I want to go to bed.

No links today

Thank goodness I live in a multi-television house

Because we own more than one television, I was not forced to sit through that visual debacle known as "The Miss America Pageant".

Thank God for that.

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Well, it took the Red Sox thirteen innings but they managed to beat the Rays and take two out of three in their series.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Where the hell was this team during the first three months of the season?

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You can check out these links if you want to:

• Three goats and a cow seems fair...



• The United States is no longer the leader in societal advancement,



• I'm pretty sure I'd beat the shit out of this guy... after he passed out in his seat.

Three games, not four.

When I looked at the Red Sox schedule yesterday, I must have suffered a bit of dyslexia and announced to the world that they were playing four games against the Rays,

They are only playing three games, not four.

In two weeks, they will play a four game set against the Rays.

And speaking of the Red Sox and the Rays, it's time for someone to tell Tazawa that he sucks,

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He's a very relaxed dog...

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Try these links out:

• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminals of the Day.



• There is nothing I can add to this to make it any weirder.



•  Only in Pennsylvania.

The Red Sox are playing the Rays

This is game one of a four game series and I'm hoping the Red Sox take at least 3 of the 4 games.

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While I enjoy the rest of my Friday vacation day, you can visit these links:

• Pretty much everybody is going that fast on 89...



• Who the hell brings a machete to a fork lift fight?



• Only in Florida.

It's not hot but it's still damned sticky.

I hate it when it's muggy and sticky.

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There is no baseball but there will be some kind of football game played this evening.

Perhaps I will watch a little of that sporting event.

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These links may entertain you:

• Only in Florida.



• How many thousands of dollars did the taxpayers spend to recover that $11.00 and issue that misdemeanor citation to that hardened criminal?



• Pfffttt... Rednecks...



• Attracted to booze and tobacco. Sounds like my kind of moth.



• Key phrase in this story: "...some passengers began cheering..."



• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminals of the Month.

When does it stop being hot...

I've about had it with hot and sticky. I'd like a little cool and dry.

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I would like to point out that as of the 2010 census, the population of Otis, MA is 1,612 people. There are roughly 515 households which means that if you add in the 10 or so businesses in the town, there probably 525 tax revenue sources.

That means each of those resources will have to pony up almost $12,200 to pay off the bond. That's about $500 per year over the 24 years.

Since the average life-span of a wind turbine is about 15 years, they can expect to be paying that money long after the turbine has failed.

I'm not entirely sure this is a good idea for such a small town.

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You can visit these links if you are so inclined:

• Here's your Naked Guy In The News story.



• They seem to be ambitious youngsters...



• Only in Florida.

Still too damned hot

I took today as a sick day so I got to sit at home enjoying my air conditioning instead of the air conditioning at work.

I like my air conditioning at home better than the air conditioning at work...

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I'm gonna watch the Red Sox.

You can click on these if you want:

• Too bad one of those power lines didn't land on his balls.



• Horse Sex Perverts would be a great name for a 1980s punk band.



• If I had room in my garage, I'd buy it.



• Only in Florida.

Too damned hot.

I was really hoping to make it through the day without running an air conditioner but since I'm a wuss when it comes to my comfort. I gave up around 3:00 this afternoon when it reached 90° outside and 85° inside.

Thank goodness for air conditioning.

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I can't help but wonder if some alien beings from outer space have taken over the Red Sox because they sure seem to be playing some pretty damned good baseball lately.

The Red Sox took all three games from the Phillies and then managed to beat the division-leading Blue Jays.

Granted, the Phillies suck but so don't the Red Sox. I was not expecting them to take all three games.

As for today, I fully expected to see the Red Sox lose to the Blue Jays.

This might explain why my MLB coaching aspirations never came to fruition.

So anyways....

During the month of August, the Red Sox played .556 ball, winning 15 of 27 games.

So far, during the month of September, they've played 6 games and won 4. That's .667 ball.

Taken all together, since August 1st, they've played 33 games and won 19 of those games. That gives them an average of .576.

If they had played this way the entire season and had an actual full season average of .576, they would be in first place in the ALEast and in second place in the American League.

As it stands now, they have effectively been eliminated from post season play. All they are doing now is finishing out their season.

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You can visit these links of you want:

• Oh Canada.



• Here's your Almost Naked Guy In The News story.



• Oh Canada.



• We haven't had a Drunk on a Lawn Mower story in a while.

Yesterday was another long day

The Keene Music Festival was held yesterday and we went up to see our youngest play with his band.

The festival starts at noon and goes until 9:30 and it features hundreds of bands from all over New England. For the last three years, we've left our house at 11:00, get there around noon, get together with the boys and have some lunch before they go on to play around 2:30 or so.

This year they were asked by the festival organizers to be the show's headliners. That meant they closed the show at 8:30 at night. They played until 9:30 to a huge crowd and sounded pretty damned good. They played some of their old songs and a few new ones that I kinda liked.

Then, around 10:00 we headed home to find that the dogs had survived very nicely without us.

Life is good.

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These are the links I found while I was watching the Red Sox complete a 3 game sweep of the Phillies. Too bad they couldn't do that back in June and July:

• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminal of the Day.



• This woman gets my vote for Wife of the Year.



• Key phrase in this story: "Maybe it got into a can of spray paint thinking it was food..."

Nothing today

We spent the day in Keene listening to music.

I rewired it.

Today was, "Let's move all the furniture and electronics in the living room to different places!" day. That meant I needed to run cable to the new television location and ethernet to the new printer location. Since I was doing that, and they were conveniently being located to the same area, I decided to combine them into a single box / wall plate.

By doing that, I only needed to drill one hole from the basement into the wall cavity, cut the work box hole in the drywall, fish the two wires from the basement into the wall cavity, install the work box and connect the coax & ethernet to their respective parts.

Now my wife has moved everything to where she wants it, the TV works (including HDTV) and the printer is on the network.

All is good and instead of having two wires running out of two different sides of the room, everything is ported from a singe location.

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You can click on these if you want:

• Just so you know, 56kgs is equal to about 123 pounds.



• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminals of the Day. (Best reader comment: "Great. Now I have a craving for Kentucky Fried Chicken.")



• This is just wrong on all kinds of levels.



• Here's your Naked Guy In The News story.

Looks like Tom Brady is playing football this season.

So now can we get back to talking about something, anything, other than deflated balls.

Except the Kardashians.

I don't ever want to talk about the Kardashians.

Or anything related to the Kardashians.

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You might like these links:

• Only in Florida.



• Key statement from a District Attorney who gets it: "He wouldn't and shouldn't go to jail and 87 years without involvement in the criminal justice system has, in my opinion, earned him a pass."



• First I got my kids. Then I thought about my ribs....

Just call me The Snot Rocket!

My nose will not stop producing phlegm and it's getting very, very annoying.

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As near as I can tell, there have been 26 members of the Law Enforcement community shot and killed so far this year. Additionally, 3 members were beaten or stabbed to death and another 8 were killed by a motor vehicle.

That is a total of 37 LEOs who died because of the job they do.

I point this out because I have a good many friends and relatives who are members of that group and i would like them to keep their heads on a swivel, watch each others back and trust no one.

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Try these links:

• Here's your Naked Guy In The News story.



• Why does this kind of stuff always happen in China?



• In other news, local dolphins are excited about the upcoming human-sushi event!



• Only in Florida.

I have a fantastic head cold!

On Friday, I started to feel a little clogged up in the sinus department. Over the weekend, it got a little worse and I was atributing it to pollen.

On Monday morning, I awoke to a full-blown faucet of snot nad realized that if I was dealing with pollen, there was a shitload of it and I was probably going to die.

This morning, I woke up with not only the whole head-filled-with-snot thing but I also had a nice little sore throat and a headache that wouldn't go away. Oh, and I'm sneezing hard enough and often enough to assume I will eventually screw up my back.

I hate head colds.

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And to top everything off, the DJIA dropped another 470 points today.

I am never going to be able to retire...

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Here are some links to click on:

• Wasn't Cow With Chair on its Head a painting by Claude Monet?



• Oh Canada.



• Only in Florida.