Nothing like a few home runs to help win some games.

The Red Sox traded Jon Lester and Johnny Gomes to the Athletics for the winner of the Home Run Derby, Yoenis Cespedes. This is an interesting trade that, if all goes according to plan, will set the Red Sox to be a power house team in 2015.

My guess is that Ben Cherington just handed Jon Lester a two month trip out to northern California where he can play some ball with a team that is currently destined to win the ALWest division. Then, come November, Cherington will hand Lester the contract he wants and Lester will be back in Boston.

Add to that the fact that the Red Sox picked up a big bat and rock-solid left fielder for the next three years. Along with Bradley in center field and Victorino in right, the Red Sox outfield just became the most awsome outfield in all of MLB. No one in their right mind is going to try for extra bases and the concept of a "sacrifice fly" just went down the toilet.

Oh, and if Lester ends up signing somewhere else, there are several other "marquee" pitchers hitting free agency in 2015 that the Red Sox can go after.

First on my list is Max Scherzer. He's a guy who loves to play baseball and seems to be a hell of a good pitcher.

And his eyes are two different colors which is pretty cool all by itself.

*

Here are some links you might want to click on:

• Key phrase in this story: "...the Chicago Cubs, baseball's current version of Major League purgatory..."



• You just gotta love dogs...



• Key entry from our favorite police log: "4:46 p.m. A Rhodes Draw resident came home to find the neighbor’s pigs in his front yard. He stated that the pig-related damage was extensive."

Quick guess...

My guess is that Jon Lester and Mike Carp will be playing for the Pirates and no one knows where John Lackey will be playing.

And that's okay with me.

I like the Pirates and I'd like to see them win a divisional series, a league series and then maybe a world series. Clint Hurdle is a great manager who seems to be loved, if not worshiped, by his players and the team itself seems to have that, "Hey! Guess what we're gonna do today? We're gonna go play ball!" attitude that I think every ball club should have.

I'm pretty sure Lester and Carp would be happy playing for them.

As for Lackey, he signed a contract that left him with the league minimum in 2015 so if there is a team out there that wants a guy who throws a pretty good game and comes cheap, maybe the Red Sox will pick up someone of value in his place.


It is, after all, just a game...

*

Try these links:

• Here's someone that needs to go home and change their underwear...



• Gun control isn't the answer. People control is the answer. Lock up the mental cases....



• Pffftttt... Rednecks...



• Here's your Naked Guy In The News story.



• OUCH! Oh, wait, never mind...

Wow, the Red Sox really suck.

There are 56 games left in the Red Sox regular season schedule and they are currently 11 games out of first place. That pretty much means they have to win 4 out of the every 5 games they have left to play.

I don't think that is gonna happen and that is all I'm going to say about that.

*

Here are some links:

• You have got to be freakin' kidding me...



• Train Plucker would be a great name for the farm-hand in a 1950s sitcom.



• This story is kind of ironic considering Australia is a former British prison colony.



• Only in Florida.



• Only in Canada. And yes, I realize that Beaver At Large would be a great name for a 1980s porn star.



• Gecko and the Zero-G Sex Satellites would be a truly fantastic name for a 1990s pop band.

I have no idea what's happening.

All of the talking heads and sports blatherers are talking about the possibility of a trade between the Dodgers and the Red Sox. The rumor mill says that the Red Sox are willing to trade Jon Lester, their ace reliever and one of the best pitchers in baseball to the Dodgers for Matt Kemp, an injury-prone center fielder who is turning in lackluster numbers at best and will probably end up on the DL by September 1st.

This leads me to believe that sports writers are idiots.

I can't believe that anyone in the Red Sox organization thinks that trading Lester for Kemp is a smart move. That would be like the Sioux trading Sitting Bull for Custer...

The trade deadline is Thursday at midnight and I will be shocked if Lester is not with the Red Sox on Friday.

Shocked I tell ya...

*

You might enjoy these:

• This is why we watch baseball. You never know what's going to happen next...



• Speaking of baseball: Whoopsie....



• Look everybody! It's the religion of peace!



• Good thing we encouraged that "Arab Spring" thing..

Holy Cow! They WON!

I was pleasantly surprised to see the Red Sox win today's ball game.

The winning picture is a kid who was called up from Pawtucket to replace Peavey so I'm thinking that was a good move on Cherington's part.

*

Here are a few links you might like:

• This is your brain. This is your brain on drugs. Any questions?



• Scroll through the photos but pay attention to the radar. That's massive.



• I'm thinking you probably don't want to mess with Mayura Dissanyake.



• Key entry from our favorite police log: "8:40 p.m. An adult grizzly bear was seen wandering through the neighborhood of Silverwood Estates."

Pierzynski and Peavey

Two weeks ago, the Red Sox designated A.J. Pierzynski for assignment, which is a nice way of saying they fired him.

Today, the Red Sox traded Jake Peavey to the Giants for two minor leaguers, which is a nice way of saying they fired him.

I agree with what they did to Pierzynski and Peavey but for the life of me, I can't figure out why they haven't made the right offer to Jon Lester while still keeping David "Watch me hit into this double play!" Ortiz as a designated hitter.

I'm convinced they have given up for this season and are making moves to give themselves a fighting chance next year. I just think one of the moves they need to make is trading David Ortiz.

*

So last night we spent the evening listening to our youngest and his band up in Easthampton. They are actually pretty good and I'm not unconvinced that these boys have a shot at having some measure of success with their music.

The only problem is, they play at night. We didn't get home until 11:30 last night and I gotta tell ya, that kinda sucks for me.

No matter, I got to see my youngest do his thing.

My daughter elected to represent our family at a wedding this week. It was tough on her, I know, but someone had to do it and she took the bullet for us.

Did I mention the wedding was in the Bahamas and it involved a cruise around the Caribbean?

I am, as always, the proud dad.

*

You can try these links out:

• Man, they don't know when to stop, do they....



• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminal of the Week.



• Only in Florida.



• Also only in Florida.

Long Day = Short Post.

No, I didn't work late and no, I didn't go partying.

I have things I need to get done this evening so I don't have time to surf the interwebs.

Catch you tomorrow.

The Red Sox, the Middle East and My Dog

The Red Sox are slipping deeper into a hole and it really looks like they'll be starting their vacations on October 1st of this year.

*

The Palestinians, the people who have declared back in 1947 that they want to wipe out the state of Israel and kill everyone in it, are once again getting their ass kicked by the Israelis.

Maybe the Palestinians should stand up and say, "Guess what? We recognize the right of the state of Israel to exist and we want a peaceful coexistence with them!"

I'm betting that just might get the Israelis to back off.

*

My poor Dog spent most of last evening hiding under the foot rest of my recliner. He really hates thunderstorms and the only time he seems at ease is when he's standing or lying right next to either myself or my wife.

*

Thus ends my schpeel for the day.

Here are some links:

• Key phrase in this story: "In addition to Jar Jar Binks, cockroaches, lice, Nickelback, traffic jams and brussel sprouts also polled higher than Congress."



• Yes, alcohol was involved.



• I'm going with Karl Marx.



• Colin Furze sounds like someone I'd like to go drinking with.

I shouldn't have brought up the streak.

I blame myself for the Red Sox loss last night. I mentioned their winning streak and that jinxed them. I promise to be more succinct next time and skirt the issue of wins & losses.

*

You can visit these links:

• Key phrase in this story: "There's a lot of people with bigger problems than me."



• Key reader comment in this story: "I guess it's not P.C. to say passed out drunk anymore."



• Don't mess with Premlata. She'll P.T. your a$$.



• Key phrase in this story: "God told her he would take it from here."

Five in a row.

Not only have the Red Sox won five games in a row, they have won eight of the last ten they've played.

This, in my humble opinion, is what they need to continue to do if they want to be playing baseball in October.

*

The key phrase in this story is: "On Sunday's 'Meet the Press,' Secretary of State John Kerry outlined the case for pro-Moscow separatists in Ukraine being responsible for attacking the Boeing 777 but clarified that a final conclusion hadn't been reached."

So much for the whole "We know that plane was shot down by Russian-backed seperatists" that has been pushed by our esteemed leaders for the last five days.

We should have backed Putin when he said the Ukrainians illegally overthrew the elected government and bypassed democracy in favor of a coup. I thought we were supposed to support democratically-elected governments?

*

Try these links out for size:

• I've always said that we, as a species, should apologize to all other species on the planet for our behavior and dress during the 1970s and 1980s.



• I agree with Judge Kozinski.



• Attention Brilliant Criminals: If you are gooing to commit a crime, you should plan your escape route better.



• This is why you should buy a holster when you buy a gun.

Long Day = Short Post

Many things got done today and many more will get done tomorrow.

Sorry, but no links today.

Forty five years ago.

It was hot and humid. We dragged the "portable" 100 pound TV and it's rickety tubular stand out onto the porch along with a few kitchen chairs and some folding chairs.

We wiggled the rabbit ear antenna until we got the best picture possible. My father wanted Walter Cronkite but he was on CBS and the closest CBS station was in Hartford so it was a struggle to get a clear picture.

In the long run, it really didn't matter because the picture that was shown to us was fuzzy as hell to begin with and no matter how often we made my little brother Tom get up and hold onto the antenna to make a better picture, it just wasn't going to get any clearer.

For two hours we watched couple of guys in a small cabin as they stood around flipping switches with the occasional commentary thrown in from Uncle Walter about what was happening.

Then, right around 11:00 pm, I got to see something that was the coolest thing any eleven year old kid had ever seen. I got to watch a guy walk on the surface of a planet that was not the earth.

What the hell happened to my country? Why can't we do something like that now?

*

You might like these:

• Bummer. Maverick was one of my favorite shows.



• Presenting this episodes Brilliant, Yet Humorous, Criminal of the Day



• Key entry from our favorite police log: "11:01 a.m. A woman called from Farm to Market Road to report that she had just watched a man on the side of the road waving a gun in the air. The man didn’t seem to be arguing with anyone or particularly upset and eventually got back in his car and left."

Eight and a half games

The Red Sox are still in last place but they are now only eight and a half games behind the leader, the Orioles.

If you want to know who's in last place in all of Major League Baseball, it's these guys...

*

Try these links out:

• Key phrase in this story: "Frolander appeared in court Friday with a bruised face and his eyes nearly swollen shut."



• Here's a headline I bet you never thought you'd see.



• Holy Crap!

This is going to get interesting.

The federal government is going to place a large number of children at Westover Air Reserve Base. The federal government will provide these children with medical care, food, education and a collection of responsible adults to help raise them and teach them right from wrong.

These children are going to be shipped to Westover because they come from places that are violent. They come from places where they have no responsible adults raising them. They come from places where they are forced to steal to feed themselves. They come from places where they have no home or shelter.

They come from places like Chicago... Wait, scratch that. They don't come from Chicago.

The children that are going to be well-taken care of by our government all come from South America while the children of Chicago are gonna have to fend for themselves.

Don't get me wrong, I'm in agreement with our government that we, as a nation, need to help those children. We did it after the Vietnam war when we flew plane loads of Vietnamese children over here. We did it because none of us wants to see little babies dying on the nightly news.

The problem here is that we seem to be surrounded by nations that don't give two silly shits about their children and it's suddenly become our problem. In the meantime, we have children living in the worst conditions possible right here in our own country.

Remember, this is the same federal government can't even take care of our veterans. What makes them think they can take care of these children...

*

Enough of that. Here are some links:

• And I thought the Jehovah Witnesses were weird...



• Yes, alcohol was involved.



• Only in Florida.



• Only in Florida.

This is getting interesting.

There are reports that the passenger jet that crashed in the Ukraine may have been shot down. The Ukrainians are saying they didn't do it and the Russians aren't saying anything at all.

The only thing that I've seen that makes any sense to me at all is a statement made by an NBCNews analyst named Evan Kohlmann who said, "shooting down a 777 at 33,000 feet would require access to serious military equipment."

I'm betting that the conflict in the Ukraine just escalated to a whole new level.

*

You can click on these if you want:

• Yes, alcohol was involved.



• Key entry from our favorite police log: 7:45 p.m. A man on Three Mile Drive reported that a jet was making weird patterns in the sky. He added that the jet eventually landed without a “bang or flames.”



• Oh sure, I guess it's okay for real TSA'rs to fondle women but let some drunk finance guy try to do it and everyone gets all a-fluster....



• Only in Florida.



• Key phrase in this story: "No one is inside the port-a-potty, the Coast Guard says."

Yes, I watched some of the All Star game.

I only managed to catch 4 or 5 innings but that was enough to get the jist of that sport they call baseball.

*

Not much else to say today so what say we just get to the links:

• Our species is made up of some real idiots...



• Giant Mysterious Siberian Hole would be a great name for a 1960s porn movie.



• Attention people with tattoos: Just sayin' is all...



• I bet a dollar that they will be "released into neighborhoods" sometime in the next few weeks.

No, I didn't watch the Home Run Derby.

Due to a rain delay, the derby didn't start until after 9:00. I watched the first two guys hit a couple of home runs each, listened to that dingbat Berman prattle on about things not even vaguely related to baseball and then I fell asleep.

All-in-all, it worked out pretty well for me. I got a good nights sleep and I didn't have to hear Berman say "BACK, BACK, BACK, BACK!" at all.

*

You might find these interesting:

• Key phrase in this story: "....police plan to work with organizers next year."



• Threatening Maine Pig would be a fantastic name for a 1950s rock-a-billy band.



• Baboons: You gotta love 'em.



• I guess it's against the law to use a knife on a watermelon in Connecticut.

So now what do I do?

There is no baseball until Friday....

And before you all start up on me, no, I don't count the All Star game.

When I was a kid, the All Star game was played during the day and it was usually only available via radio. They started their coverage when the game started, finished their coverage when the game ended and in between, they simply covered the game.

Nowadays. the television networks start their coverage three days before the game starts and they don't shut up about it. And during the home run derby, we get to listen to that moron Chris Berman rattle off that incipient "BACK, BACK, BACK, BACK, BACK!" every time someone hits a ball.

Someone should tell Berman to STFU.

He sounds like an ostrich suffering a heart attack.

Anyways....

Yes, I'll watch a little of the home run derby. And yes, I'll watch a little of the All Star game. Problem is thatt since they are both on after 8:00, I doubt I'll see very much of either one.

*

You might find these interesting:

• Only in Springfield.



• Only in Pennsylvania.



• This is why I stay out of those hippie establishments like Whole Foods (damned hippies...)



• Rednecks....

Still nine games behind

Today is the last game before the All Star break and the Red Sox are not in a good place. They won today and moved themselves up to nine games out of first place.

That's a lot of games for them to win and everyone else to lose.

I'm hoping that with a few days off and a little rest they'll come back on Friday and go on a nice long winning streak.

*

To address some concerns from this mornings post, let me just say that no, I am not calling it quits. I was just noting that since I forgot to post last night, maybe I don't have to post every day.

Don't be surprised when I miss the occasional day or two.

*

Here are some links:

• Oops.



• They got some strange criminals down in Georgia.



• Key phrase in this story: "Things like this makes me very proud to be a citizen of Bradford County."



• This is your brain. This is your brain on drugs. Any questions?



• CNN is an interesting news organization that appears to be run by 8th graders.



• Only in Florida.



• Drunks in a canoe would be a great name for a 1990s spandex band.

No post yesterday

I guess I managed to forget to post yesterday's missive.

Actually, I guess I'm getting tired of doing this every day and it's time for me to do it only when I have something to say.

Or maybe I should just stop doing it all together.

Two in a row

The Red Sox won their second game in a row yesterday (Thursday) afternoon and they are now only nine and a half games behind the Orioles. I'm probably going to regret saying this but with 70 games left in the season, they still stand a chance of getting into the playoffs.

Tonight's game is down in Texas so it starts later than usual (8:10).

I'm hoping to stay awake to see some of it.

*

While I help unload the groceries from the car, you can click these links:

• I guess we're not the only ones with screwed up politicians.



• There are currently three "wars" being fought on this planet, there are groups of people being slaughtered because of their religious beliefs and there are people starving because of piss-poor agricultural management but this is what politicians choose to be concerned about.



• I've been to Uxbridge. It's kind of a boring town but the people there have found a way to entertain themselves....



• This is your brain. This is your brain on drugs. Any questions?

Long Day = Short Post

I told you there would be a lot of these over the next month or so.

*

Here is a link or two:

• Don't screw with Lillie McClendon.



• It's the old, "I forgot" defense.

Man, the Red Sox really suck.

The more they play, the deeper into last place they fall.

Thank goodness for the All Star break because that's four days where they won't lose any games.

*

In other Red Sox news, they finally got around to designating A.J. Pierzynski for assignment.

They initially brought Pierzynski on board because he was known as a good "offensive" catcher, meaning he can hit the ball.

Well, that hasn't proven to be the case and they sent him on his way.

Now if they can figure out what to do with Ortiz, things might start happening.

*

So now that I'm done with my day, I think I'll watch some baseball and fall asleep early.

You can click on these:

• Only in Washington D.C. and possibly some parts of France.



• Only in the other Washington.



• Hey, if I gotta serve, she's gotta serve.



• Key phrase in this story: "The screaming, the spanking, the moaning … that would wake the dead..."

This is the last day of humidity

At least that is what the slightly effeminate weather dweeb on WWLP tells me.

*

I am busy as hell at work lately and it looks like that is going to continue until at least mid-August. Once I finish writing all the documents I've been suddenly tasked with writing, things should ease up and my life will once again settle into a nice routine.

Why do I tell you that?

It's because I don't have a lot of time to surf the interwebs lately and I haven't been able to find a lot of links. I know that most of you that visit this sight do so not because you enjoy my wit and wisdom but because you know that I find some interesting stuff on the webernet.

When things settle down, I will find more time to be amazed by the crap that people put on the internet for me to find.

Things like this.

*

Until then, here are a couple of links you can click on:

• Only in Texas.



• Kinda makes me wonder what else they might have misplaced over the years.

This just keeps getting better and better.

The more information that Edward Snowden releases about his time with the NSA, the more I'm beginning to be frightened by my government.

Since it's safe to assume that the NSA is also reading this, and every other posting I've ever written, let me just remind them of something:

"The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized."

Oh, and just for shits and giggles, every member of the NSA might want to read the rest of the document that the above paragraph came from.

It's called "The Constitution of the United States of America".

Just sayin' is all.

*

Here are some links:

• I wish that someone had granted his wish.



• In keeping with the spirit of the "innocent until proven guilty" philosophy, I won't tell you what I think of these two. Let's just say I won't be shocked when they are both found guilty of cooking that little boy to death.



• Proof that our species is just a bit retarded.

Well, at least they took one of the three games

The Red Sox just can't hit the ball and, despite what everyone else seems to think, that includes David Ortiz.

Lets look at the American League statistics on MLB for Runs Driven In:

• We find that Ortiz is tied at number 46 on the list.
• Pedroia is number 13 on the list.

Now lets take a look at Total Number of Hits:

• We find that Ortiz is number 59 on the list.
• Bradley is number 55 on the list.
• Bogaerts is number 49 on the list.
• Pedroia is number 18 on the list.

In other words, Pedroia is delivering more runs than Ortiz. Pedroia, Bogaerts and Bradley are delivering more hits than Ortiz.

• Ortiz will be paid $15,000,000.00 for the 2014 season.
• Pedroia will be paid $12,500,000.00 for the 2014 season.
• Bogaerts will be paid $517,000.00 for the 2014 season.
• Bradley will be paid $502,000.00 for the 2014 season.

David Ortiz gets paid more than the other three guys who are not only doing his job better than he is, they are doing their own jobs as well.

It's time for him to go.

*

Here are a couple of links:

• Hey, at least the guy was organized.



• Yes, alcohol was involved.

What a beautiful day

Yesterday sucked. It rained all day and was basically a washout. The Dog was happy because he didn't have to deal with too many firework explosions.

I suspect today will be a different story and he will spend most of this evening under our coffee table, looking at me with those pleading eyes that say, "ARE YOU HEARING THIS? CAN'T YOU DO ANYTHING ABOUT THIS? MAKE IT STOP! You need to go out with me because I need to pee...."

I love the Fourth of July but The Dog seems to prefer something a bit quieter.

*

Here are some links:

• Pfffttttt..... Hippies.....



• How did I miss this story back in 2009!



• This is cool.

Just a bit rainy today.

At least I didn't have to water my new grass.

The Red Sox and the Orioles didn't even think about playing today's baseball game. They postponed it early this morning and will be playing a double-header tomorrow.

*

You might like these links:

• Key entry in our favorite police log: "10:55 a.m. A complaint was made about a man who claimed to be one of God’s relatives."



• They're shocked! Shocked I tell ya...



• Nothing says, "Happy Birthday!" like a little meth.

Another long day.

Fortunately, tomorrow is a holiday and I don't have to worry about work until Monday.

Yay!

Don't get me wrong, I like my job. I enjoy what I do and I don't suffer any anxieties or extreme stress while I'm doing my job. It's just that I like not working more than I like working.

And one of these days I will have met my financial obligations and I will retire.

Until then, I'll do my not working stuff on the occasional three-day-weekends my numerous vacation days.

*

Here are some links:

• Only in Florida.



• Only in Florida.



• Only in Florida.

Long Day = Short Post

Here are a couple of links:

• If you want to know how bad the economy has gotten, ask John Kirwan.



• In Russia, laundry day is kind of interesting.

Here comes Arthur

It looks like the first predicted hurricane of the year may be headed for New England. Good thing I have an ample supply of gasoline for my generator.

*

I don't find it shocking that the Red Sox lost to the Cubs last night.

I won't find it shocking if the Red Sox lose to the Cubs again tonight.

I do not find it shocking that the Belgium soccer team beat the U.S. soccer team.

Thus ends my shocking report on things I don't find shocking.

*

Here are some links:

• Funny stuff.



• This is your brain. This is your brain on drugs. Any questions?



• Only in Florida.



• We don't pay cops enough.