Happy New Year's Eve!

My plan is to eat some food and fall asleep in my recliner. Hopefully I'll wake up in time to say "Happy New Year" to my wife and then go to bed.

If you party like a rock star, get a cab or a designated driver.

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Time once again for my year in review:

I had a pretty damned good year right up until December.
Then it kinda sucked.

This has been my year in review.

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Lets chat about the upcoming year.

1. No, this will not be the year that I retire. Despite my desire to do so, my wife has made it clear that I am not allowed to sit around all day doing nothing.


2. No, I will not hit the lottery this year. Despite the fact that I purchase a multi-game Megabucks ticket every month, I have no luck whatsoever and I am confident that I will not win. Should that change, you will not know because I'll never admit to it.


3. Yes, my youngest son will graduate from college and this will fulfill his commitment to obtain a degree. Once he completes his schooling, he and his band will go on a whirlwind national tour in the hopes of making his college degree completely unnecessary. I hope they are successful beyond everyone's wildest dreams. Either way, I will, as always, be the proud dad.


4. Yes, my daughter will be accepted into a school of veterinary medicine. This goes a long way in explaining entry number one on this list. I will, as always, be the proud dad.


5. Yes, my eldest and his wife will find a nice house to buy and turn into a home. When that happens, I will, as always, be the proud dad.


6. Although I would like to lose some of the weight I've put on since I quit smoking, I won't make any resolutions to do so. That is because I do not make resolutions.

Let's see how those predictions pan out.

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While I sit in my recliner, blowing my nose and falling asleep in front of the TV, you can click on these links:

• Must have been running Windows 8...



• Only in Florida.



• Here's something that I didn't need to know about.



• Let me leave you parents with little kids this piece of news.

I'm still on vacation and I still have a head cold.

I hate head colds but I like being on vacation.

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Here are a few links:

• It's the old, "I want to be a mystery shopper!" defense.



• Key phrase in this educational document: "...objects sorted by orifice..."



• Mug shot of the day.

Did I mention that I have a head cold?

Yes sir, that's my luck.

I take a week off and on day one, I get a head cold.

I'm giving some serious consideration to blaming my oldest son because he told his mom yesterday that he's just getting over a head cold. That means he probably gave it to me.

I still love him though.

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While I blow my nose and whine to my wife, you can click on these links:

• What a loving family.



• Only in Pennsylvania.

Did I mention that I'm on vacation?

I always take the last week of the year off and this year is no different.

No sense breaking with tradition....

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Try these links out:

• Here's your Naked Guy In The News story.



• Key portion of headline in this story: "...suspect 'at large'..."



• Add this to the list of ways I don't want to die.



• Key phrase in this story: "...a contract’s a contract..."

A little bit of mom at my house

We have my moms hutch/china cabinet and my daughter has my moms tea set. Now that the holidays are over, my wife and daughter have filled it with china and the tea set.

I like it. It reminds me of my mom.

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You can find some interesting stuff in these two links:

• You knew it was gonna happen. It was just a matter of time.



• For all of the negative hype about those "deflated footballs", you gotta admit that the guy has class.

I think I'm still digesting

Man, I ate a lot of food over the last few days and all of it was outstandingly good.

At this rate, I'm never gonna lose weight.

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I hope you got everything you wanted for Christmas and you get to spend a few days playing with any toys. I know that even though I kept telling everyone that there was nothing I wanted for Christmas, I still ended up with some very nice things.

I have a pretty great family.

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My daughter managed to schedule her interviews at Purdue and Iowa State. Her mom will be traveling with her and it was my job to take care of the travel arrangements.

Thank goodness for Google Flight because I was able to book the multi-leg, three day flights with little or no problem.

Thanks to AAA, I was able to reserve two rental cars, one in Indianapolis and one in Iowa, for a nice low rate.

As for rooms, both universities have hotels on campus and rather than make them play the whole, "Drive around until you figure out where your going!" game, I booked them rooms on campus.

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Try these links out for size:

• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminal of the Week.



• Only in Florida.

Merry Christmas

I hope you all had a great Christmas.

Yet more celebratory events!

We spent some time celebrating the holidays with my wifes side fo the family this evening. It was good to see everyone and we enjoyed ourselves in a responsible manner. That means I won't wake up on Christmas morning with a hangover.

I hate hangovers.

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Here are some links:

• I guess everybody needs a hobby of some sort...



• This kind of thing happens on the Mass Pike all the time.



• Oh Canada.



• I bet this cuts down on the number of attempted robberies at that particular restaurant.

It's a good day to be my daughter.

She has been asked to interview at two veterinary schools and moved to "stage 2" in a third!

She is excited about this and deservedly so since her current life goal is to become a veterinarian and take care of those sacks of fur with claws that we all call "pets".

Now all we gotta do is figure out how to get her to be in Lafayette, Indiana and Ames, Iowa on the same weekend....

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You can visit these links:

• Dave Barry has published his annual "Year In Review".



• Only in Florida.



• Apparently she takes her beer very, very seriously.



• There is nothing that I can say about this that wouldn't make me come off as a prejudicial a$$hole.

Happy Winter Solstice to all my druid friends.

As I've said before, please don't go sacrificing any virgins.

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It was a short day for me so here are some links:

• Only in New York.



• Only in Florida.



• Holy Crap!

If it looks like a duck and swims like a duck and quacks like a duck....

....it's probably a goose.

Just sayin' is all.

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Given that there are more "democrats" in my state than there are "republicans", I still find it hard to believe that we have a republican governor.

Just sayin' is all.

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I went and got my Christmas shopping done today. That means my wife will have actual presents and stuff to open on Christmas morning.

Why do we buy Christmas presents for each other?

We have been married for 30 years. We both have decent jobs and we tend to buy what we need when we need it. It's hard to pick out presents for someone who doesn't have any material needs.

I personally think we would be better off just giving each other a card.

Just sayin' is all.

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Here's a link or three:

• Only in Florida.



• It's the Happiest Time Of The Year.



• Let me say that again: It's the Happiest Time Of The Year.

More celebrating.

Today was Christmas with my family. We had my brothers and sisters and their families over for the day and it was a good day all around.

We spent a bit of the day reminiscing about mom and scanning in some of the pictures she had collected over the years. We ate a lot of food and some of us drank a lot of beer.

It was your basic stress-free Christmas-related celebration, which is always the best kind of celebration.

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Here are some links:

• Only in Florida.



• Key phrase in this story: "Developers assert that they were motivated by philanthropic sentiments to help roughly four out of every five women in the world."



• Key phrase in this story: "Should they teach the cars how to commit infractions from time to time to stay out of trouble?"



• This is some of the best stuff on TV today.

The job is done.

We have moved every piece of furniture, clothing, piece of paper, photograph, kids hand-made card and 4th grade report card out of my moms apartment and turned the keys over to the facility manager.

We found a lot of "stuff" that has meaning to us and we all picked out things to hold on to. For instance, I found a note that my dad had written me back in the mid 1970s

I like to think that I remembered to call my mom and I didn't have to give him any of that "I forgot" crappola.

Oh, and for the record, she didn't save the note because of the note. She saved it because it's written on the back of my sisters report card. I recall a major paper shortage in that house so we wrote each other notes on whatever happened to be laying around.

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Here's a link:

• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminal of the Day.

The celebrations continue

Today we had our team lunch. It was a good lunch and I enjoyed myself even though I consumned no alcohol whatsoever.

I avoid alcohol at those team lunches because if I have a few beers or drinks, I'll start busting on my boss and before you know it, I'm unemployed.

I'm not quite ready to be unemployed.

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Tomorrow we will finish the job of packing up my moms belongings and moving them out of her apartment. I don't think any of us are looking forward to doing it but it needs to be done before the end of December.

It's not easy going through your parents stuff. Specially since my mom saved everything we ever gave her and every picture ever taken.

But we will survive and, as the saying goes, life will go on.

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Speaking of life, here are a few inks:

• I don't know her name but she is the newest member of the A-Team.



• You need a license to drive a car, you need a license to own a dog and you need a license to get married but they'll let any a$$hole become a parent.



• Rednecks.....



• Russia is not like were we live....



• Only in Florida.

I have a hangover.

I don't like having a hangover. It kind of sucks.

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So our President has once again changed his stripes when it comes to ISIS. Where before he was saying, "I don't think they're gaining strength.", he is now saying, "My highest priority is the security of the American people."

Here's what I think Mr. President: We should never have supported that idiotic thing you called "Arab Spring" because the elimination of the strong dictators in the middle-east have given rise to a whole bunch of petty little religious fanatics, each with his own god backing everything he does.

Good job there, Mr. President.

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You can try these links out:

• Here's your Naked Guy In The News story.



• Here's a story about a overweight, bearded, video-game playing dweeb who DOESN'T live in his parents basement.



• Looks like someone needs to find a new job.



• If you are ever in the Fangshan District of Beijing, China, you should plan on using the bathroom.

There were celebratory events this evening.

We had our annual, "Hey, you guys did a good job. Here's a beer" celebration at work this evening and I didn't have time to do much interwebing.

I hope to have some more things for you tomorrow.

Until then, click on these:

• Only in New Jersey.



• Here's a good summary of Only in Florida.

I really need to do some Christmas shopping

My daughter has been able to find some things for my wife, thus eliminating some major headaches for me but that doesn't mean I don't need to go do some shopping.

There are only 9 days left before Christmas and I'm pretty sure I won't be going shopping on Christmas eve. That means I only have 8 days left to get some things.

I have no idea why we buy Christmas presents for each other because we both buy whatever we need when we need it. It's impossible for either one of us to buy something that the other one needs or wants.

Sucks to be me.

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Try these links:

• Our school administrators in action....



• Some people have "interesting" jobs.



• Only in Florida.



• Lucy! I thin you got some 'splainin' to do!



• Key phrase in this story: "Yes"

Here is today's post.

Here are today's links:

• Here's your Naked Guy In The News story.



• Only in Florida.

Aaaaand we have a tree.

Once again, we went to a field and paid someone for the privilege of cutting down a perfectly good tree. Then we stuffed it into the car and drove it home.

Once we got it home, we stuck it into a large plastic base and stood it up in the corner. making it look like it was "growing" there the whole time.

In the near future, we will cover it with gaudy baubles, spangly things and strings of lights, making it look like a french hooker getting ready for visit from the Secret Service.

Then, on Christmas morning, we will jam a bunch of material goods under it and pretend a fat guy named "Claws" put them there.

Finally, after the dead tree begins to decay, we will strip it of it's finery and I will unceremoniously toss it back into the gully behind my house where it will entangle itself with the 25 other trees that are down there already,

I sometimes think that we, as a society, are kinda nuts.

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You can visit these links:

• Only in Florida.



• This is your brain. This is your brain on drugs. Any questions?



• I must be a f&*^ing genius.



• Pretty soon, all those kids who said they wanted to be a fireman or a princess when they grow up are gonna come out of their shell and we're gonna be overrun by firemen and princesses.

The Christmas lights are lit.

Once again, we are contributing to National Grid's bottom line by stringing a bunch of lights on the front of our house. I'm not entirely sure why we do this but my wife seems happy with it.

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I am trying something new with the Small Emergency Backup Dog. She has developed a habit of creating dog doors for herself by poking her way through the screens on the porch. I found a gadget that creates a door in the screen and we're trying to teach her to go through it instead pushing the screen in.

So far, it's a failure because she walks up to it, looks at it and then steps to the right and pokes her way through the screen.

All I can do is sigh, fix the screen and point out the door to her, again.

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You might like these links:

• On Canada.



• Key entry in our favorite police log: "10:00 a.m. A Columbia Falls woman complained that her neighbor shoots squirrels and his dog eats them. She was advised that this was not an illegal activity."



• In case you had forgotten, the Japanese are insane.

I've got places to be and things to do.

It was  reasonably normal day at work today but we have some festivities to attend to this evening. That means no long, boring, run-on posts filled with the drivle you've all come to love.

You do, however, get these links:

• When I was in school, scrapes, bruises, sprains and fractured legs were a daily occurrence.



• Another shocking case of candy bar violence.



• Wait. Are they saying Coronas are only $3.00 in Florida?

I'm a bit busy.

With year end coming and the unplanned loss of a week, the volume on my work life has been turned up to 11.

I did manage to go find a few links:

• Good thing my son lives on the Green line....



• People died trying to find this guy and his explanation for walking away is, "Doing what I did is me saying that I am like, I don’t know, Jason Bourne..."    Asshole....

Things are still a bit unsettled.

Now that the funeral is over and things have calmed down a bit, my sisters are working to get moms belongings organized and ready for transport. The boys (meaning my brothers and I along with our nephews) will be tasked with moving the furniture.

It has been a genuinely sad two weeks for all of us but with the sadness comes the knowledge that mom is no longer suffering from a debilitating disease and she is no longer in any pain. She was, as my sister called her, an Uber-Catholic which means she passed away knowing that she would meet God and she would be reunited with my dad and other family members.

As for all of us, life will continue and we will get our children through this part of their lives. For all of them, this is the first time in their lives were they suffered a loss and it's hard for them to understand. They will all learn to deal with the grief and the loss in their own ways and we, their parents, will be there to guide them through it.

And that, my friends, will close out this chapter in my life. Myself and my siblings are now orphans but we are all well-prepared orphans. Our parents raised us well and we had mom with us for a good long time. They were good people and I can only hope that I leave a legacy that matches theirs.

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Here are a few links:

• Oh good...



• Yes, alcohol was involved.



• Researchers: Contributing to the betterment of our society or a complete waste of perfectly good oxygen. We report, you decide.



• Here's your Naked Guy In The News story.



• Here's a bonus Naked Guy In The News story.
(I would like to point out that both those naked guy stories are from Florida.)



• Another shocking case of shillelagh violence.



• You gotta love it.

She was a great mom

Everyone thinks their mom is the best mom. She gave birth to you, she raised you, she fixed your cuts, she watched you play, she taught you things and she held you at night when you were sick.

I'm here to tell you that my mom was a great mom but also a truly great person.

She was an intelligent, caring, nurturing, compassionate woman. She was a nurse of the highest caliber.

She cured the sick, she eased peoples pain and she communed with the terminally ill. She touched everyone she came in contact with and left them better than when she found them.

She served her country during a time of war by nursing the wounded and giving hope to those who had no hope.

She left her family to marry my dad but she never left her family. She visited them often and they visited her just as often. She left the family farm but she returned as often as she could because they were her family and she loved them.

But to me and my siblings, she was Mom.

She raised us, she tended to us and she let us make our way in this world. She loved us unconditionally and made it clear there was always a place for us in her world, no matter what that world became.

When my dad died, we all stood with her and she eased our pain. She looked to us for help and guidance but she helped us and guided us.

When she was diagnosed with a disease that no one should ever have, we became her keepers while she steered us through the ups and downs by showing us her courage in the face of things that would make a brave man cry.

She is gone now but will always be loved.

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I will be back soon.

No post today

It's been a bad few days and it's not predicted to get any better

I'll be back in a few days.

Grow Up,,,,

I found this piece of literature this afternoon and I thought I would pass it on. It's from Dr. Everett Piper of Oklahoma Wesleyan University.

You can access the original here but since these things tend to disappear of the internet sometimes, I thought I'd post the text for you to read.

Dr. Everett Piper, President
Oklahoma Wesleyan University

This past week, I actually had a student come forward after a university chapel service and complain because he felt “victimized” by a sermon on the topic of 1 Corinthians 13. It appears that this young scholar felt offended because a homily on love made him feel bad for not showing love. In his mind, the speaker was wrong for making him, and his peers, feel uncomfortable.

I'm not making this up. Our culture has actually taught our kids to be this self-absorbed and narcissistic. Any time their feelings are hurt, they are the victims. Anyone who dares challenge them and, thus, makes them “feel bad” about themselves, is a “hater,” a “bigot,” an “oppressor,” and a “victimizer.”

I have a message for this young man and all others who care to listen. That feeling of discomfort you have after listening to a sermon is called a conscience. An altar call is supposed to make you feel bad. It is supposed to make you feel guilty. The goal of many a good sermon is to get you to confess your sins—not coddle you in your selfishness. The primary objective of the Church and the Christian faith is your confession, not your self-actualization.

So here’s my advice:

If you want the chaplain to tell you you’re a victim rather than tell you that you need virtue, this may not be the university you’re looking for. If you want to complain about a sermon that makes you feel less than loving for not showing love, this might be the wrong place.

If you’re more interested in playing the “hater” card than you are in confessing your own hate; if you want to arrogantly lecture, rather than humbly learn; if you don't want to feel guilt in your soul when you are guilty of sin; if you want to be enabled rather than confronted, there are many universities across the land (in Missouri and elsewhere) that will give you exactly what you want, but Oklahoma Wesleyan isn’t one of them.

At OKWU, we teach you to be selfless rather than self-centered. We are more interested in you practicing personal forgiveness than political revenge. We want you to model interpersonal reconciliation rather than foment personal conflict. We believe the content of your character is more important than the color of your skin. We don’t believe that you have been victimized every time you feel guilty and we don’t issue “trigger warnings” before altar calls.

Oklahoma Wesleyan is not a “safe place”, but rather, a place to learn: to learn that life isn't about you, but about others; that the bad feeling you have while listening to a sermon is called guilt; that the way to address it is to repent of everything that’s wrong with you rather than blame others for everything that’s wrong with them. This is a place where you will quickly learn that you need to grow up.

This is not a day care. This is a university!

I just thought that was a pretty darned good letter. Even if you don't buy into the religious/spiritual aspect of it, it is solid advice that can be applied in all situations and it is advice that our society sorely need.

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Here are some  links:

• These are the people that I grew up looking at....



• Only in Florida.