The stock market is beginning to worry me

The DJIA closed at 24,272 today, up over 4,500 points since the first of the year. That's a lot of points in one year and I'm thinking it might be due for a collapse.

This makes me nervous but since I'm gainfully employed and my retirement account is strong enough to take a small hit, just not too much of a hit, I'm not terrified, just worried.

It might be time to give my finance guy a call and have a little conversation about things.

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I've been watching the MLB free agent market and man, there are some seriously good ball players out there. I'm hoping the Red Sox are smart enough to stay out of the Giancarlo Stanton talks and instead are looking at who is available as a free agent.

I think they would be better served to spend money on a free agent like J.D. Martinez instead of giving away minor league prospects on a trade for Stanton.

I know I'm not the guy that makes those decisions but if Trade 'Em Away Dave wants to get ahold of me and get my advice, I'm available.

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While I worry about the market and prepare to offer my sage advice to the Red Sox, you can click on these:

• Only in Florida.



• Actually, it's a pretty good idea.



• Attention scientists: Can you not do this, please. Humans are currently not within the scope of their food chain and I would prefer it to stay that way.



• This is why the internet was invented.

Seems like some guys can't keep their hands to themselves.

NBC fired Matt Lauer this morning and NPR made Garrison Keillor persona non grata this afternoon. Last week, CBS fired Charlie Rose and several months ago FOX fired Bill O'Reilly.

I keep waiting for ABC to fire that Muir guy.

Speaking of creepy old guys who can't keep their hands to themselves, John Conyers is under heat to retire or face the wrath of Psycho Nancy.

It's only a matter of time before she turns her pinched up face towards Loopy Franken.

Gentlemen, please, for the sake of all concerned, control your god-damned urges and leave the ladies alone fer cripes sake.

One woman says that during sessions on the floor, Conyers would walk over to her, bend down to whisper something in ear and run his hand up her dress.

And Franken, well he obviously likes to wait until his victims are asleep before he fondles them.

Jesus, what a couple of slimy assholes.

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Here are a few links to click on:

• I'd vote for him.



• Man's got to have his beer.



• Completely justified-go-go.



• I'm betting it's a 1993 Toyota Celica low-rider with tinted windows being driven around Springfield.



• Only in Massachusetts.

I don't understand President Trump

I don't like most politicians because they all think they know what's best for me but I usually understand them. For instance, those of you that have been following this treatise since the beginning know that I hated Willard Romney for his health care laws, his increases in fees and his inability to appreciate what it was like to be a middle-class guy with three kids and lots of bills.

Despite my inability to "like" politicians, I do understand why they do what they do.

Accept for this guy.

I have no idea why he does what he does.

For instance, can someone give me one good reason why he had to bring up Elizabeth Warren at a ceremony for WWII vets?

I don't get it.

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You can click on these:

• I guess she was sick of shopping.



• Yes, but she did have a very well dressed dog.



• Key phrase in this story: "...I saw this one officer, poor man..."



• Krazy Kim has fired another missile into the ocean. He must really hate that ocean.

Two hundred and forty two years equals twelve score and two years.

Twelve score and two years ago, our fathers brought forth, upon this continent, a new nation, conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that "we don't give a shit about the royal family anymore"!

I was watching the news and they devoted at least 10 minutes of the broadcast to the fact that Prince Harry has decided to get married.

For the record, I think Harry and his brother, good old whats-his-name, are a couple of decent guys who aren't quite as stiff or arrogant as the rest of the family.

Having said that, why do our news people think that whenever something happens to the British royal family, they have to talk about over and over again? Who really gives a shit?

I know I don't give a shit.
Do you give a shit?
No, I didn't think you gave a shit.

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See if you can find anything entertaining here:

• Why did the chicken cross the road...



• Only in Pennsylvania.



• The Right to Arm Bears.



• Nikola Tesla is still alive?

Is it just me or....

....are their fewer leaves on the ground this year?

I picked up my leaves yesterday using my lawn mower and today I see that very few leaves have fallen. Considering the winds we've been experiencing, I find this unusual because most years I would do the leaves and the next day my entire lawn would be covered again.

Maybe it's because my neighbor has decided to pick up his leaves this year. Usually, the idiot leaves them down all fall and they blow over everyone's lawn.

Maybe this is a sign that he's actually started thinking about his neighbors.

Bah, who am I kidding. He doesn't care about anyone but himself. This is a guy with a two car garage and a six car driveway who insists on parking two of his three cars in the street overnight like this was Springfield.

He's what is known in some circles as a "douche bag".

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Here are some links that you can visit if you want:

• Key entry from our favorite police log: "12:43 p.m. A Columbia Falls woman reported that her neighbor’s cats walk into her house, eat her cat’s food and then swat at it. Apparently these cats have no regard for the law."



• Headline of the Month.



• Still one of the best practical jokes ever.