She's an explorer.

She's decided the house is her domain and she no longer sits quietly on the couch next to me. She sets off to explore and I have to get out of my recliner to find out what she is up to.

Usually I find her chewing on something or curling up with something my daughter last wore.

As for The Main Dog, he's likes to keep an eye on her.

Now if I could teach him to go get her when she wanders off, I wouldn't have to get out of my recliner.

*

The Red Sox are on a travel day today so no baseball for me tonight.

You can visit these links while I figure out what to watch:

• Pffftttt..  Canadian Rednecks....



• Only in Florida.



• This isn't going to go well.



• Only in Florida.



• I'm thinking it's revenge for Thanksgiving...

Seems there's a hawk showing some interest in my backyard.

My wife was outside with The Small Emergency Backup Dog when she noticed a hawk circling the backyard. Based on what I know about hawks and the diminutive size of the puppy, I can't help but wonder if the hawk is looking at the puppy as breakfast.

From now one, the pup is not allowed to be outside by herself and when she is outside, the person who is with her must remain very close to her.

*

So I accidentally video-called my sister last night.

I didn't know I could do that on purpose never mind by accident.

Point is, I have a device in my pocket that lets me video conference with my sister in North Carolina.

Hell, I grew up in an era when our house had only one phone and if you wanted to make a scratachy sounding long distance phone call, you to wait until after 7:00 when the rates were low and then go into the kitchen, untangle the cord and dial the number. Now I'm accidentally establishing crystal clear high definition wireless video links with my someone who is more than 500 miles away.

Anyways, it was nice to see and chat with her but we had to get her son to help us hang up....

*

Ms. Rodham is an idiot.

No, wait....

Now that I've thought about it a bit, let me say that this is the single most brilliant idea ever postulated by a politician.

I envision SpikeTV starting a new television series called "Idiot of the Day" where they show what a cop has to deal with every day.

I can't wait to see a collection of video's showing arrests of drunk politicians, domestic disturbance between so-called "civic leaders" and their spouses and all the arrests of loud-mouthed punks and thugs who don't care that the Woodstock-level sound system their car is disturbing the people who have to get up in the morning to go to work.

This will be some of the best television ever!

*

Here are some links:

• You need a license to get a dog, a license to drive a car and a license to get married but they'll let any asshole become a parent.



• I can't help but wonder what those emails might contain? Do you think we'll ever get to see them?

And she has a name...

My daughter has chosen to name her puppy "Echo" and she has bonded with Kirby quite nicely.

I'm kind of proud of the way The Main Dog has reacted to The Backup Dog. He watches her as she runs around and has only disciplined her once when she went over to his marrow bone. He gave her a growl and she backed off pretty quick.

She seems to want his food more than she wants her own so when it's feeding time, she takes a bite or two out of her bowl and then runs over to his bowl. He looks down at her, gives her a look that says, "Seriously?" and then walks away. That's when one of us picks her up (she only weighs about 8 pounds) and brings her back to her bowl.

She's also amazingly quiet. No barking, just an occasional squeak when she feels abandoned. And she definitely feels abandoned when you close the bathroom door.

Apparently none of us are allowed to go to the bathroom alone ever again.

*

The Red Sox won last night and I'm hoping they win again tonight. The Yankees are still in first place in the AL East but only by a game.

Yes, I know it's too early in the season to care about the standings but I like caring about the standings. It gives me a reason to check out the MLB website.

*

The Red Sox are on at 6:10 and I plan on watching them.

You can visit these links if you would like:

• Here's your Naked Guy In The News story.



• Only in Florida.



• Key inaccurate phrase in this story: "...the tat won’t affect his ability to keep a job."



• We don't pay cops enough....



• You gotta love dogs.

And we have a new puppy...

I'm not sure how our pre-existing large main dog feels about this new small emergency backup dog but so far, I get the impression he seems to think she is a minor annoyance at worst, a companion at best.

Hopefully this all works out for all concerned because this little thing is a rescue dog from Tennessee and I'm pretty sure she came with a no return policy.

Meet the latest addition to our home:

She doesn't have a name yet but that'll happen soon enough

I'm really hoping she just doesn't pee all over everything...

*

I wish I had some links for you but I've decided to hook up with John, have a few adult beverages and watch the Red Sox.

I guess if they're gonna slump, it's best they slump now.

The Red Sox managed to lose their last two games against the Orioles. As a matter of fact, I'm not even going to call today's game a loss so much as it was a massacre.

I guess if a team is going to have a bad stretch, it's best to have it early in the season.

Speaking of baseball, the Mets are really kicking ass and taking names. They are currently the number one team in MLB with a record of 14 wins, 4 losses and no end in sight. It seems like they are pretty much untouchable right now.

Of course, we all need to keep in mind that there are 162 games in the season and things change quickly. The number one team in April is often so beat up and injured by August that they are in dead last.

We'll have to see how things go over the next few months.

*

I'm going to watch some DVRs and fall asleep early.

You can click on these links if you want:

• Some people just ain't to bright....



• As a species, something has gone horribly wrong with us.

My lawn tractor is once again functional

John hooked me up with a friend of his who does repair work on lawnmowers and I once again have a functional lawn tractor,

This means I was able to thatch and cleanup my yard before the fertilizer guy shows up.

Which, I hope, is going to happen in the very near future...

*

The Red Sox won last night and they remain in first place in the AL East.

They were tied, for a brief period of time, with the Yankees but that changed this afternoon when the Mets opened a can of whoopass on the Yankees in the second game of their subway series.

I'll be watching as much of tonight's game as possible but if you know anything at all about me, I'm not big on staying awake much past 9:00.

*

Here are a few links for you to visit:

• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminal of the Day.



• Only in Florida.



• Admit it, we've all wanted to do this.



• Every drunk guy in the bar is now going to use the line, "Hey baby, wanna see my pocket shark?"



• Key entry from our favorite police log: "4:01 p.m. A woman called from a local trailer park to discuss a recent string of lawn ornament thefts."

Once again, not a lot to say.

I did, however, manage to find some links:

• Key phrase in this story: "...hiring exotic dancers to perform at wakes is an increasingly common practice..."



• Key phrase in this story: "...the judge often removes his pants while he's in chambers..."



• Key phrase in this story: "This court is a hoe. And I will backhand you both, should you continue to waste my time."



• I have a feeling this is not going to go well....



• Yes, alcohol was involved.



• Only in Florida.



• Here's your Naked Guy In The News story.

Not a long day but not much to say.

Work has been.... interesting.... and I don't have either the desire or the time to spend looking for interesting stories.

Here are some links:

• Trust me, watch the video.



• Only in Boston.



• Art is in the eye of the beholder.

Long Day = Short Post

Not much to say today.

*

Here are some links:

• It's the old, "My car is a piece of sh!t" defense.



• Only in Florida.



• Yes, alcohol was involved.

Baseball and Dogs

The Red Sox are playing at 7:10 this evening and I will watch as much as possible. At least until 8:30 when someone will show up at my house to evaluate us to see if we are the right kind of people to have a dog.

My daughter has decided she wants a puppy/dog to call her own and she has managed to talk my wife and I into at least trying it. She applied to adopt a small/medium Beagle/Australian Cattledog mix and the rescue center has to determine our home is good enough for this dog.

I'm wondering what The Dog will make of all of this. He's gonna have final say in this new acquisition so if he has a problem, this might not happen.

We'll see how things go next week when they meet for the first time.

*

As for the Red Sox, they remain in first place in the AL East and I'm kind of hoping they continue down that path.

Unfortunately every good baseball man will tell you that teams go through ups and downs and the Red Sox will be no different. All we can hope for is that they have more streaks than slumps.

*

Try these links out:

• Apparently Elvis is alive and well and living in Florida.



• Only in Florida.



• Key entry from our favorite police log: "8:15 a.m. A friendly husky was on the loose in Hungry Horse."



• Only in Pennsylvania.

They won today.

Despite only playing 7 innings of baseball, the Red Sox Managed to beat the Orioles quite nicely by a score of 7-1.

I guess they figured out what their bats are for.

So far, the Red Sox have managed to win two games of every series they have played. If they can keep that up, they will have a very succesful season.

*

So I had a lengthy day today.

You can click on these while I fall asleep early:

• And right after that, he walked from Korea to Hawaii with even getting his shoes wet.



• This could get interesting....



• If I'm ever in Oregon, remind me to not drink any beer.

So much for holding their own.

The Orioles kicked the Red Sox ass today 8-3 and the Red Sox deserved it.

No one is hitting anything. And not only is Ortiz not hitting, he went and got himself ejected from today's game when he swore at an umpire.

All in all, it wasn't a good game for the Red Sox but I got to watch it with my mom.

She loves her Red Sox even when they suck.

*

Here are some links:

• Key entry from our favorite police log: "12:35 p.m. A man from Tennessee reported that he watched an episode of “Legend of Mick Dodge” followed by an episode of “Disappeared” on the Discovery Channel and that the two episodes, he believed, revealed the suspect in a kidnapping case. He was notified that the case had been solved two years ago."



• I forgot to say, "Only in Florida" when this happened.



• He sexually attacked a tree and then said, "I'm Thor!". Get it! He's Thor!

They are holding their own

The Red Sox seem to be doing pretty well but I'm still looking at the rotation and thinking to myself, "How much longer before Bucholz is out injured or Miley falls apart?"

They won by one run last night and Kelly pitched a pretty good game but he's not a long inning guy. He seems to hit the magic 100 mark somewhere around the fifth inning and he ends up getting pulled in the late fifth or early sixth inning.

This means instead of using the bullpen for two innings, they are looking at using the bullpen for 4 innings.

That's not a good thing.

*

Today's game was at 4:00 and I managed to watch most of it before nodding off.

Something about the fourth inning that makes me take a nap..

Unfortunately, they lost because I wasn't able to offer my sage advice. At least they retain their AL East lead.

*

Here are some links:

• Yes, alcohol was involved.



• Teenagers: Not too bright....



• Yes, alcohol was involved.



• I feel safer already...

Time for some baseball

The Orioles are in Boston today to play the Red Sox and I'm ready to watch.

Hell, I'm ready to offer my sage coaching wisdom via my special coaching TV because if Kelly isn't pitching well, they need to get him out of there.

And if Big Baby isn't hitting well, they need to get him out of there as well.

*

Here are some links:

• You gotta love dogs....



• Apparently Mickey Mouse has become a NSA agent.



• Wolverines: Do not mess with them.

Too much to do and not enough time.

Today was a long day and I'm getting a little sick of these long days. Ideally I'd like to retire and enjoy long days doing nothing.

Maybe go hang out with the old guys at Dunkin' Donuts.
Maybe go walk around the mall a few times with the old guys.
Maybe go play nine holes of bad golf with my old guy buddies.

You know, do nothing.

*

So I decided to stop at Tommy's on my way home and was pleasantly surprised when Pat suddenly wandered in.

We had a beer together and caught up on what's been going on.

It was enjoyable.

*

Here are some links:

• The San Diego Padres just became one of my favorite baseball teams.



• Key phrase in this story: "Your honor, I don’t recall the events, but I woke up in jail the next morning, so you’d have no problem proving what happened."

Another day of early baseball.

I was unable to watch the Red Sox get their a$$ kicked by the Nationals this afternoon.

I was able to watch almost the entire game last night. I made it to the eighth inning before falling aleep in my recliner. Fortunately I woke up during the post-game interview with the catcher and I learned they managed to win.

All-in-all, I'm not disappointed in the way they are playing. I am disappointed in certain players.

For instance, David "Look at my big gold chain!" Ortiz has been up to the plate 32 times in 8 games and he's only managed to hit the ball 6 times, two of which were home runs. This is the guy who's only job is to hit the ball. Nothing else.

During the same 8 games, Dustin "I don't have any big gold chains, just a scruffy beard." Pedroia has been up to bat 36 times and he's managed to hit the ball 10 times, 3 of which were home runs. His job is to not only hit the ball but to also play a highly-skilled second base.

It's time for David "little papi" Ortiz to retire before he ends up as a washed-up has-been getting boo'd every time he walks onto the field at Fenway.

*

Here are a few links:

• I'm surprised they didn't shoot him out of the sky.



• Key phrase in this story: "We won’t let a weasel like that hold us back."



• Only in Florida.



• Also only in Florida.

Baseball at 6:00, asleep by 9:00.

At least, that's my current plan.

*

You can click on these:

• This is your brain. This is your brain on drugs. Any questions?



• Sometimes a simple, "It's over" just doesn't cut it.



• Key phrase in this story: "The taco was reportedly fine."
  (Watch the video)



• Did you do your taxes yet?

Red Sox took a thumpin' last night

The Yankees beat them bloody by a score of 14-4.

Today was different. They played the Nationals at home and managed to beat them pretty well. I believe the finale score was 9-4 but since I didn't get a chance to watch them today, I can't be sure...

*

Here is a link I'm very proud of:

• Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you my Uncle Marino. He's a helluva good guy.

I built a clock

We recently moved from one of the outbuildings back into the main building on campus. They moved us back into the same room we left a year and a half ago but the room had been redone.

It's a very nice room but it has no clock.

So I looked at my desk and found an old disc drive platter (actually, we called it DASD back then) that I thought would make a nice clock. I mentioned it to some of my co-workers and they said it would be cool. Then I said, "What if I used binary??"

They thought that was the best suggestion ever.

So without further adieu, I give you the Nerd Clock:

Yes, I know the numbers are a little crooked but to damn bad. If you don't like it, go make your own nerd clock.

*

Here are some links:

• Only in Florida.



• Brilliant!



• Here's a judge who knows what's important....

Nineteen innings is a lot of innings.

I actually stayed awake for 13 innings but that was as far as I went. When I woke up this morning and found that the game lasted 19 innings, I was a little shocked. I was glad that the Red Sox won but not happy that they used 10 pitchers to do it.

My concern, along with everyone else that understand baseball, was who was going to be available to pitch today.

Turns out I didn't need to be concerned - they managed to win again today.

*

Here are some links for you to enjoy:

• Wasn't Traci Lords a porno actress? Apparently she's gone legit....



• Only in Florida.

Long Day = Short Post

The Yankees are playing the Red Sox tonight and I had a long day so here is a link:

Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminal of the Day.

I only made it to the third inning.

I fell asleep before the fourth inning of last nights loss to the Phillies.

It amazes me that I can fall asleep with no warning at 8:00 at night. The problem is I wake up at 2:30 in the morning and I'm awake for the day.

Tonight my goal is to make it through at least 6 innings and maybe even stay awake long enough to watch all nine innings.

Like I always say, it's nice to have goals.

*

Here are todays links:

• Only in Florida.



• Our federal government in action....



• This restores my faith in humanity. It also made me laugh out loud.



• We don't pay cops enough.

Baseball tonight!

Yay!

*

No babbling for me this evening. I'm tired and all I want is to fall asleep in front of my television while watching some baseball.

*

I did manage to find some links for you:

• We're already the most corrupt state in the union. Why should we stop now?



• Only in Florida.



• According to our previous esteemed governor, everything was all sunshine and unicorns with our state transporation system.

No baseball tonight

The Rays and the Orioles are the only two AL East teams playing ball today. The Red Sox, the Yankees and the Blue Jays are all off today.

That means I will be watching some DVRs and falling asleep early.

*

We moved out of the nice, peaceful, pleasant outer building back into the main office on campus. I am not happy at leaving our private little abode with its great parking and like-minded people (we were amongst other computer nerds) but as long as they keep paying my salary, I'll sit where ever they tell me to sit.

Besides, I get to work early enough that I usually get a great parking space anyways.

*

You might like these links:

• Attention everybody: Today is National Beer Day! (Key phrase in this article: "April 6 is known as New Beer's Eve")



• Here's an update on the extra-creepy Lucy statue.



• There is no such thing as a "domesticated bee". There are, however, such things as "honey thieves"...



• Key entry from our favorite police log: "12:18 p.m. A purveyor of fine dogs reported that a potential customer had become hostile."

Opening Day!

The Red Sox played the Phillies today at 3:05 and I managed to miss the entire game. The Sox, however, managed to win handily by a score of 8-0.

This having a job thing is getting in the way of watching baseball but it doesn't really matter. What matters is that baseball is once again being played and the Red Sox are off to a decent start.

*

Here are a few links:

• Another reason to not fly....



• Key phrase in this story: "It is a felony to keep a gator in Florida without a license."



• Only in Florida.



• Finally! Something worthwhile about both of them!

Happy Easter, or Passover, or whatever religiousee thing you celebrate.

SO it was a pretty good family kind of day. Our eldest had to work so he didn't come home but the youngest showed up with his girlfriend. Along with my mother-in-law, my daughter and my wife, we managed to have a nice meal.

Afterwards, there was some egg dying.

I can't help but notice that the eggs all tend to be a drab blueish/yellow color. I'm thinking my family isn't really good at dying eggs but they do seem to have a very good time doing it.

*

Here are some links:

• While it isn't specifically mentioned, I'm betting that she might have been using some alcohol or illegal drugs of some type.



• Guys doing guy things. This is why women outlive us...



• Key phrase in this story: "...found the wrong guy in the wrong place."

That was a very expensive tank of gas.

My mechanic discovered the problem with my car - it had no gas in the tank.

Turns out my gas gauge decided to stop working.

While I was on the phone with the mechanic, my wife was checking the credit card transactions. She said, "The last time you bought gas was March 5th".

They filled it with gas and I went down to pick up. They'll do some research on replacing the full sensor and let me know what the cost will be.

In the meantime, it cost me $40.00 to tow it, $90.00 to find the problem and $40.00 to fill the tank. That comes to $170.00.

On the up side, I found out I can go about a month before I run out of gas.

*

The nuclear deal worked out between the Obama administration and the Iranians scares the crap out of me.

It's an indication that Obama still believes that he, just like Jimmy Carter, can solve all the worlds problems by simply talking.

The problem is that the Iranians, and pretty much everyone else on the planet, figured out that you can get Obama to do anything you want by agreeing with him and letting him believe you are going along.

I suspect that when all the governments get together at their government parties, they all stand around sipping cocktails and eating those little hot dogs on toothpicks and when the US government walks in, they all giggle and says, "There goes the retarded kid. Lets go agree with him! It'll be a hoot."

*

Here are some links:

• Whoa....



• Key phrase in this story: "The ideal candidate must have 'stamina' as well."



• Presenting this episodes Politest Criminal of the Day.

Car trouble.

My car wouldn't start today. And when I say it wouldn't start, I mean it wouldn't even fire up.

I called my mechanic and said my car was on it's way down and then I called AAA and they came over. He tried a few things like wiggling the fuses, fiddling with some hoses and then finally plugging a reader into the computer port.

Up came nine error messages, all of them indicating a timing issue.

So now my car is sitting at the mechanics and I'm really hoping the words "timing issue" don't mean "extra expensive"....

*

So the street behind me has been blocked off by fire and police for the last several hours and my daughter said she saw Columbia Gas trucks at one of my neighbors house when she came home from work.

If you hear a really loud explosion, call me to make sure we're still here.

*

Try these few links:

• Never run with a loaded gun.



• Never bring a bra to a ceramic chicken fight.



• Only in Pennsylvania.



• Only in Florida.

Not much to say.

John got his new computer.

Pat got an offer on his house.

My boss told me I should retire.....

*

Here are some links:

• Only in Florida.



• Researchers: Contributing to the betterment of our society or a complete waste of perfectly good oxygen. We report, you decide.



• You gotta love Australians...



• Yes, alcohol was involved.

I need someone to pay off my mortgage.

Is anyone willing to pay off my mortgage for me?

I'd appreciate it.

*

Here are some links:

• Yes, alcohol was involved.



• Yes, alcohol was involved.



• Yes, alcohol was involved.