Due to my short week, this was a long day.

Just because I'm only working foru days a week doesn't mean there isn't five days worth of work to do each week. As a result, I worked longer that I should have today. This is the result of trying to get a project completed prior to year end and still use up all of my vacatin time.

I'll be damned if I'm going to lose any vacation time....

*

So anyways, here are a couple of links:

• Oh, who the eff cares! It was named Denali in the 1800s and now it's named Denali again. What's the big deal.



• We have two dogs. I need some of these...

Short work weeks in September

As I did in July, I will be taking every Friday off in September so I can burn off some vacation time. That means that starting this week, I will only be working four day weeks.

For those of you that know me, you know that I think we should all be working four day weeks. I firmly believe that every weekend should be a three day weekend and if I am ever elected President, that will be one of my priorities

*

Here are a couple of links:

• I like to visit EpicFail every once in a while.



• Key entry from our favorite police log: "10:27 a.m. A woman on Beartrap Road reported that a bat had been sitting outside on her tomato plant for the entire morning, refusing to leave. She decided to take matters into her own hands and put the bat in a jar."

I need to hit the lottery.

My 401(k) is collapsing faster than a cheap party balloon and the government is probably going to take back some of my social security.

I'm not feeling warm and fuzzy about my ability to retire while i'm still alive.

*

Here are some links:

• Only in Florida.



• Must have been a hell of a party.



• These people are allowed to vote....

Sorry about that.

We spent yesterday evening at Tanglewood listening to a very funny man named Eddie Izzard and didn't get home until 11:30 or so.

About 10 minutes after walking into my house, I was sound asleep in my bed.

Snoring.

Loudly.

*

Enjoy these few links:

• This is why I don't wait around at bus stops.



• Key phrase in this video: I'M GONNA BE A NEW BIG BROTHER!



• The Chinese are insane...



• High school students are kinda stupid...



• Only in Florida.



• When I watch this, all I can think of is this.

Not much to say today.

I'm tired.

I didn't go to damned bed until 11:00 last damned night because I was watching the damned Red Sox give up a damned two run lead so they could lose to the damned White Sox.

I won't make that damned mistake again tonight.

*

Here are todays links:

• Idiots.



• Oh Canada.



• Key phrase in this story: "...his organ was horribly disfigured..."



• Attention old people: Our children are smarter, and funnier, than us.

I need a nap.

While I was on vacation, I changed my sleep habits a bit. I managed to stay in bed until 7:00 or 8:00 every morning. I also took a nice short nap around 2:00 or so every day.

After being back at work for two full days, I can say that I honestly miss those naps.

A lot.

*

There's a rumor floating around the Boston media that Don Orsillo will be out as the Red Sox/NESN play-by-play guy at the end of the season.

I gotta be honest with you, I'm not sure how his removal from the broadcast booth will make the Red Sox a better baseball team....

*

On Wednesday afternoon, the DJIA was at 17512.

On Thursday afternoon, the DJIA was at 17078.

On Friday afternoon, the DJIA was at 16464.

On Monday afternoon, the DJIA was at 15937.

Today, the DJIA was at 15666.

That means the DJIA is down 1846 points, or as I like to call it, "A shitload of money!", over four days.

I am never going to be able to retire.

*

While I watch Remy and Orsillo try to avoid talking about the report that Orsillo is gone at the end of the season, you can click on these links:

• Yes, alcohol was involved.



• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminal(s) of the Week.



• Only in Florida.



• Key phrase in this story: "...casually stroll through the warehouse drawing small penises on the walls..."



• This is proof that our species is basically insane.



• As is this.

No post

First day back at work after a weeks vacation and it was long day.

That means you get no post.

My eldest is now a married man.

We spent yesterday at our eldest child's wedding. It was an outdoor wedding and while it was a nice affair, it was just a tad warm. Too be honest with you, at one point it was hot enough to pour molten steel.

I've never been a big fan of anything held outdoors. It's always either hot enough to turn your average human being into a puddle of phlegm or so chilly and damp that you wish you had brought your North Face ski jacket.

And on those rare occasions where the weather is okay, the bugs really have a good time turning you and your fellow attendees into a free meal.

So anyways, like I said, it was a nice event and now we're settled back in at home. My son is now married and all is well with the world.

*

The Red Sox managed to blow a 2 run lead in the ninth inning, losing to the Royals 8-6. I'm thinking using Tazawa as the closer probably wasn't such a good idea.

All-in-all, they are still playing some pretty good baseball right now but unless they go on a nice long winning streak, they don't stand a chance of playing baseball in October.

*

And now my plan is to fall asleep early in an attempt to recover from our late Saturday night.

While I do that, you can click on these:

• Seriously? What kind of nutjob does something like this.



• "It was either do something or die" are words that might just keep you alive.



• Nerds with big mouths.

No post today

We had a wedding to attend.

The Red Sox are kinda on a roll.

They have won 11 of the last 20 games. That means they are playing above .500 baseball right now.

If they keep this up, they might finish the season at above .438, which is where they finished last year.

Wouldn't that be nice.

*

So the DJIA fell 530 points today. That means it has fallen more than 1,000 points this week.

At this rate, I am never going to be able to retire.

*

I have never been a fan of Jimmy Carter because I've always thought he was kind of a busy-body but that doesn't matter.

What matters is the man was given a death sentence the other day and he basically told death to go f*ck itself.

He sat at a podium, smiled at the assembled press and announced he had stage 4 melanoma that had spread to his brain. He thought he might have a few weeks left but that he would do what the doctors tell him to do and try an experimental drug. I took that to mean that even if this new drug didn't extend his life, the researchers would be able to determine if it was any good.

He told the world that the best thing he had ever done in his life was marrying his wife, thanked everyone for coming and left them with a smile.

That, my friends, is a man with courage and class.

And balls.

Big Brass Balls.

*

Here are some links:

• Only in Florida. (Kayla Kupcakes? Seriously?)



• There have been times when I wanted to tase a few of my fellow passengers....



• It would have been funnier if it had run over the artist.



• I started to say, Only in Florida but then I remembered that to get to the indoor pistol range at Ludlow Fish and Game, you had to cut through their bar...

Still on vacation...

...and still lovin' it!

*

Before you go getting all excited about the latest news on the Tom Brady vs. Roger "I'm an arrogant prick" Goodell thing, please note that the key phrase in this story is: "Perhaps Judge Berman wants the media to hear his disgust with the NFL’s methods because he reluctantly believes that he’s obligated to rule for the NFL."

The judge is making it look like he's got Brady's best interest in mind but everyone has to remember that his job is to determine if there were any problems with the process, not if Brady is guilty of letting the air out of the footballs.

I will be surprised if the judge says anything at all about the punishment meted out by Roger "Screw the players, I'M THE NFL, not them!" Goodell. What he will say is that the players gave up their rights to redress any grievances against the commissioner when the players union signed the collective bargaining agreement back in 2011.

And they signed it with no outage clause.

And they signed it with a 10 year life.

They are stuck with it until 2020.

*

Here are a few links to appease you while I watch the Red Sox play the Royals, the number one team in the American League:

• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminal or the Week.



• Let's face it, they got some weird traditions in Spain but you gotta admit, the imagine of some professional protester being beaten with a duck is pretty funny.



• Only in New York.



• Um, I kinda think he's got the right idea.



• Key entry from our favorite police log: "11:10 a.m. A highly suspicious employee of an Evergreen motel reported that someone claiming to be from the secret service made a reservation for Barack Obama."

Still hot.

But I did manage to mow my front yard. Now if we get some rain, I might have a lawn again.

*

So the Red Sox have asked Ben Cherington to step down and they've made Dave Dombrowski President of Baseball Operations.

This means that Larry Luchino and Ben Cherington won't be making any more of those great decisions like letting Jon Lester go or offering Rick Porcello massive amounts of money to give all the other teams some batting practice.

As far as I'm concerned, this is a good decision that will only help the Red Sox in the future.

*

Here are some links:

• Only in Florida.



• This might be of some help to our current crop of presidential candidates.



• Only in Florida.



• Ouch!

Damn, it's hot outside.

My house thermometer proclaimed it to be 92 degrees outside. The oracle that is The Weather Channel declared that not only was it 92 degrees outside, thanks to the humidity it felt like it was 97 degrees outside.

None of that matters because when I went outside, I knew it was hot and I got back inside as quickly as possible.

I admit it, I'm kind of a wuss when it comes to heat and humidity. That's why I think there should be a national holiday to honor Mr. Willis Carrier and his invention.

*

Despite my whining about the heat, I did manage to mow my back yard today. I had to take a shower afterwards but I got it done.

Now I'm going to watch some baseball and fall asleep in front of my tv.

You can visit these links:

• If you haven't seen this yet, you should. And turn your volume up. High.



• In Alabama, they try to break into jail.



• Yes, alcohol was involved. Also, stupidity. Lots of stupidity.



• In case you didn't know...



• I'm probably going to try and talk my wife out of that trip to Australia she keeps talking about.

More sleeping and more painting.

I woke up at 4:40, set up the coffee and went back to bed.

I didn't get out of bed until almost 8:00 this morning.

That's some pretty good sleep.

*

I did a little more painting but stopped when I saw that the paint was drying on the brush.

It was so hot in the sun that I think it was actually baking the paint before I went on the wall.

*

Time for me to watch some baseball.

Here are some links:

• Only in Walmart.



• Only in Pennsylvania.



• Yes, alcohol was involved.

Forty five runs

They scored forty five runs over the the last three games. I don't think they scored forty five runs over the previous twenty games. Where the hell were those bats over the last four months?

*

My day consisted of some painting in the morning and then doing nothing the rest of the day. That includes looking for news or interesting links.

This is all I got for you:

• Only in Florida.



• Key entry from our favorite police log: "1:50 p.m. A Lakeside man reported that at some point within the last ten years his license plate was either lost or stolen."



• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminal of the Month.

Snap. Crackle. Pop.

I spent my afternoon with Pat building his new computer. It's a massive beast with a liquid cooling system that allows him to overclock in a nerdy kind of way.

Pat had everything ready to go when I got there and we set about putting it all together.

After getting everything installed and making such important decisions as "Do you want to control the radiator fan or let the mother board control it?" we plugged it in, hooked it up to a monitor and brought it to life.

For a second or two....

Then there was a shout from Pat about "SMOKE!" and before I could hit the master switch to kill the power supply, we heard a short electrical snap and caught the faint scent of fried electronics.

That was when we realized we probably shouldn't have plugged the manual fan controller into the power supply using both plugs....

It was also when we realized that it didn't matter if Pat wanted to control the fans or not, the CPU was going to control the fans because we had just fried the manual fan controller in his case.

Anyways, other than that, all is well and when I last saw Pat, he was putting all the unused pieces-parts into little bags and happily thinking about how has going to move his gigantic new computer into his data center.

*

Here are some links:

• Only in Florida.



• Yes, alcohol was involved. Also, apparently, a dog.



• They don't mention his name so I'm assuming it's "Mr. PussyCat"

Yes, I went to work.

No, I didn't enjoy being at work.

On the upside, I am now officially in full blown vacation mode and will remain that way until August 24th when I shall once again turn back into The Amazing WorkerMan.

*

This will be short since I will be spending the evening with my youngest listening to Dick Dale play surf guitar at the Iron Horse.

Here are a few links that might entertain and/or educate you:

• Key phrase in this story: "...damn sure I wouldn’t be crawling through the sewers of New York."



• Throwed Roll would be a great name for a really dangerous children's game from the 1970s.



• Here's your Naked Guy In The News story.

Crappy day all around.

Much like the Red Sox, I probably should have taken today off.

Actually, forget about taking today off. I should just retire.

*

So like I said, the Red Sox are off today. I imagine they are sitting around the clubhouse, licking their wounds after yesterdays whomping by one of the worst teams in the MLB.

The Red Sox did go find themselves a consultant to "help" Mr. Cherington with his decisions on team and direction during the off-season. I put the word help in quotes because I can't help but wonder if this isn't the beginning of the end for Ben. The consultant they brought in is the former General Manager of the Angels who used to be a scout for the Red Sox.

Only time will tell.

*

Here are today's links:

• I'm pretty sure my company would have a problem with me doing this.



• Why is it always guys that do this kind of crap. How come women never do it?



• This one is for my daughter.



• I was gonna ask what a "Morris Dancer" is but then I decided I'm more interested in finding out what a "Blind Footballer" is.



• I'm guessing "Luscious" and "Brittany" are still on the loose...

Long Day = Short Post

My day was not pleasant nor was it short.

I'm going to watch baseball and fall asleep....

Damn it!!!

Turns out baseball was played at 4:00 this afternoon and I missed it.

Guess I'm just going to fall asleep....

Another day, another injury.

Our youngest sent his mom a text message at 6:30 this morning that said, "Hi Mom. I'm just getting home from the ER. I slipped down my basement stairs and sliced open my foot. I had to get stitches."

My first reaction was, "Does he need one of us to go up there?"

My second reaction was, "Damn. I am never going to have any money in my health savings account..."

*

There will be baseball this evening and I have decided that I want to watch some of it.

You can decide if you want to click on some of these links or not:

• Key phrase in this story: "Beck later denied doing anything wrong, insisting she was just trying to wake up Murphy..." (Is 'wake up Murphy' a euphemism of some sort?)



• Pffftttt... The French....



• Tragedy In Florida.

So long Justin.

Not sure that I can say I'm going to miss him but Justin Masterson was designated for assignment yesterday afternoon. That means he is eligible to be picked up by any other baseball team during the next ten days. If, after those ten days are up, no one has picked up his contract, he will be reassigned to a minor league affiliate such as Pawtucket or Lowell.

I was a little surprised when the Red Sox offered him a contract last year becasue he was not what I would call a great pitcher. Hell, I wouldn't have called him a good pitcher but as I often say, I'm not an expert in the nuances of baseball and perhaps "someone" felt he was a great pitcher.

Maybe that "someone" isn't quite as well versed in the nuances of baseball as he thinks he is....

*

No baseball tonight means I get to catch up on some DVRs.

While I do that, you might like these:

• Best idea ever.



• Actually, this might explain "A MidSummers Night Dream"...



• Key phrase from our favorite police log: "6:40 a.m. A man called in to talk about the guy he assaulted last week."

This is why I stay in New England.

Sometimes the weather in New England sucks, hard, but yesterday and today were perfect days. The temps were in the low 80s, no humidity and we had a crystal clear sky.

No one can complain about that kind of weather.

But in case you think this is a great place to be, let me remind you what it was like at my house on the first day of spring this year:

After the winter we just went through, we deserve the occasional nice day....

*

Here are some links:

• Bummer. In my youth, he was Monday Night Football.



• Only in Florida.



• AirBaltic unless needs a designated pilot.

So long Mike. Thanks for the memories.

Mike Napoli is now a member of the Texas Rangers, which is where he came from originally.

I always liked him but his last two seasons kinda sucked offensively. He lost the ability to hit the ball which is an important thing to do when you are playing baseball. His frustration got so bad that he managed to get himself thrown out of two or three games this season.

I hope he does well down in Texas.

On the other hand, I hope young Travis Shaw is as good as he seems and he does well. The Red Sox can sure use a guy who can hit the ball.

*

You might want to click on these:

• This is your brain. This is your brain on drugs. Any questions?



• I'm guessing he's what the cops call "a frequent flyer".



• There are crazy people everywhere.



• Key phrase in this story on how to handle a nutcase: "...the pensioner grabbed her attacker by the testicles and left him lying on the ground.



• Only in Florida.

Gardening is being done.

My wife has decided that since the house has been painted and is all purty and gussied up, she needed to get the gardens back into shape.

I'm not a gardener. My "gardening" education was given to me by my uncle Ted and it involved large green tractors, hay bailers and multi-tillers.

I don't garden. I farm.

Fortunately, my wife is not only good at gardening, she likes doing it.

*

The Red Sox continue their string of losses by losing two out of three games to the Yankees.

Tonight they play the Tigers and while they are currently winning, Joe Kelly is pitching and he doesn't have a stellar record past the fourth inning.

*

As for me, I'm thinking about falling asleep and not waking up until tomorrow.

At least, that's what I'm thinking about. Chances of it actually happening are slim to none.

*

Enjoy these links:

• There's a record for this? What about refrigerators? Or dishwashers?



• Key phrase in this story of a psycho lawyer: "Trial by combat, Luthmann contends, was never outlawed in the United States or in New York state."



• Not Florida but really close.

The fan is still working.

The screens, however, are taking a beating.

For the last three weeks, we had no screens on our porch. This was because our house was being painted and there was a lot of work being done to the porch.

These screens are floor-to-ceiling so when they are not there, the porch is essentially the great outdoors.

The Large Main Dog is well-trained and when he wanted to go out, we would open the family room door, he would trout out onto the porch and stand at the door, waiting for ur to open it.

The Small Emergency Back Up Dog is slightly less trained and she quickly discovered that when we opened the family room door to let her out, she was able to venture forth into the backyard without waiting for us to open the door.

Last night, after I finished putting up the fan, I put all the screens back in place.

This morning, I let the dogs out and the little one trotted across the porch directly into the screen. She staggered backwards, dropped into a seated position and looked up at me with a look that said, "Hey! What the Hell is this!!"

I can see that I'm probably going to be re-screening a few times over the next month until she gets it through he tiny little brain that she has to wait for us to open the door.

*

I started reading some of the Maryland and Indiana news sites to see what the good folks out there are saying about the recent revelations in the deflategate thing.

According to all the sports writers in the state of Maryland, the Ravens are strongly focused on winning football games and claim to know nothing at all about any investigations into deflated balls or whatever it is that some person named Goodell is doing.

According to all the sports writers in the state of Indiana, the Colts, who used to play in Baltimore but now play in Indianapolis, only might have, possibly, maybe, could have said something about some balls to some guys, some place, some time.

*

In addition to the links above, here are some links below:

• Hey! Is that sushi in your pants or do you have some genital disease that makes you smell like raw fish?



• Only in New York.

Long evening....

I got home from work around 4:00 and set about hanging a new ceiling fan on our porch.

Four hours, one trip to Home Depot and numerous expressions of a vulgar and expletive nature, the fan is up and working like a charm.

Now, I'm tired and sore from going up and down a ladder.

*

You can click on these while I complain to my wife about how sore I am:

• The only word that came to mind when I read this story was "Yuck".



• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminal of the Month.



• Technology....

I need a nap.

Perhaps instead of watching baseball, I should just go to bed early.

Bah, who am I kidding.

I'll watch baseball and then be all tired and cranky at work tomorrow.

*

Here are some links:

• It's a... a.... It's a salad! Yea, that's what it is. A nice, healthy, tasty salad...



• Something tells me this is a clever ploy on the part of the Watermelon Growers Association to drum up some extra business.



• I kinda wish I had seen this.



• Only in Florida.



• Oh Canada.

Another long day

I had a long day at work and I don't really feel like doing this.

How about we all just take the day off and relax.

They lost but it was a good game

I really thought they were going to pull off a four game sweep of the Rays but it wasn't to be.

Oh well.

*

Here's an update on Windows10:

Boy, they really want me to log into my onedrive account!

This has been your update on Windows10.

*

Here are a few links:

• Only in Florida.



• Those people actually posed for those pictures.



• Even eagles have doofus's.

Does winning three games in a row constitute a "streak"?

With last nights win and this afternoons win, the Red Sox have moved ahead of the Athletics in the American League by a game & a half and they moved up a notch in the AL East.

I still don't think they stand a chance of playing baseball in October but like I've said before, what the hell do I know about it.

*

Over the years, I've taken a liking to one or two songs that Kid Rock has done. I've also listened to some of his patriotic rants and find myself agreeing with some of what he says. I also like his appearances on TV shows like Diners, Drive-In's and Dives to promote the good parts of Detroit.

Having said that, I don't know that I would call myself a fan but I do have a certain amount of respect for the man.

No sir, I'm not a fan but I can tell you this kid is a fan. He's a big fan.

But I'm thinking about becoming a fan because it appears that Kid Rock knows how to treat his fans.

The man didn't just breeze in, give him a fist bump and move on. No sir, he did not take the cheap way out.

He came in, he sat down and he partied with him. He brought him gifts that were well thought-out to bring the greatest amount of joy and he made that particular event the most memorable one in that young mans life..

Not bad Mr. Rock. Not bad at all. I salute you,

*

While I watch the Yankees play the White Sox, you can visit these links:

• Great name for a basketball fan. (Watch the video)



• Apparently Mark Hamill knows how to autograph something.