I blame John,

I woke up at 4:30 this morning, made some coffee and took three ibuprofen. Then I cursed myself for drinking too much beer last night.

It's all John's fault.

*

Here are some links:

• Someone is going to hell.



• Only in Florida.



• I suspect she might be guilty.

Tomorrow night starts the playoffs.

The first game on Tuesday is the AL wild card between the Athletics and the Royals. Despite the fact that Lester is pitching for the Athletics, I'm hoping the Royals take win.

I would love to see Lester win because I have a strong respect and affinity for him. He survived the same cancer my son survived and because of that, I want him to always be successful.

But he's already got a two World Series rings and he shouldn't be greedy.

No sir, I want the Royals to win and head into the ALDS.

On Wednesday, the NL wild card will be played between the Giants & the Pirates and I think I've made myself pretty clear on who I want to win that game...

So having said that, let me just add, Go Royals! Go Bucs!

*

Today was not a busy day but I did stop and have adult beverages with John. That means that while I had time to surf for links, I didn't have any ambition.

Here are a few that I managed to stumble across:

• Flying Human Waste would be a great name for a 1990s German techno band.



• Key phrase in this story: "He was trying to pull him out, but he wasn’t coming out."



• This is the only story I've read about that event that has made any sense to me.



• I'm not entirely sure this is the right thing to teach college students.

I am behind on my homework

I was supposed to post 10 questions to a discussion board last Wednesday and because my work week was kinda busy, I didn't have time.

This makes me a bad study group teammate.

I'll make up for it by posting 20 questions this Wednesday.

That should endear me to my teammates....

*

The baseball season ended for the Red Sox and the Yankees today. It was a crappy season for both teams and hopefully next year is better for them.

As for me, I'm going to pull for the Royals and the Pirates. I was going to root for the Athletics because I'd like to see Billy Beane (he's the GM) finally win a series but I don't think that is going to happen.

Yes sir, I'm hoping for a Royals / Pirates World Series. That would be interesting.

*

You might like these links:

• They got some wussy criminals in the Netherlands.



• Unless it's against the law to be in possession of really salty and crappy spaghetti sauce, I'd say she might have a case.



• Apparently the old saying, "The check is in the mail" has some truth to it.



• Presenting this episodes Brilliant yet Happy Criminal of the Week.

They say the neon lights are bright on Boradway.

My wife and daughter spent the day in New York City and I'm assuming they had a very nice time.

I won't know until they get home which is probably going to be way past my bedtime.

*

As for me, I mowed my lawn and did a little woodworking.

Yes, you read that right - I did a little woodworking.

You can just call me Mr. Handy WoodWorking Guy.

*

Hey look everybody! It's the religion of peace!

Having said that, I'd like to point out that this religion-inspired attack was stopped by an individual who had a gun.

You know what a gun is, don't you?

According to the government, it's a "violent" inanimate object.

According to the government, it's one of those things that no one should own because they look scary.

*

You might like these:

• Wasn't this a movie starring Macauley Culkin, Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern?



• Key entry from our favorite police log: "3:48 p.m. Reportedly, high school kids are bad drivers."



• Pffftttt... Rednecks....



• Some people take the phrase "Take it where ever you can get it" a little to literally.



• I'm not entirely sure this is a good idea but I will admit it intrigues me...

I actually got home before 5:00 today

That means The Dog got to go for a walk and I got to talk with my wife before I settled in to watch baseball.

Not a bad way to end the week.

*

Here are some links:

• You gotta admit, he's a considerate convict.



• This is your brain. This is your brain on drugs. Any questions?



• Only in Pennsylvania.

My grass seed has sprouted.... Kinda...

It's actually a little odd.

There are six spots on my front lawn that I raked up and seeded but only two are showing any sproutage.

The others are still bare dirt.

That must be where the bodies are buried....

*

Here are today's links:

• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminal of the Day.



• In case you wanted to see our species at it's finest. (Mr. Edward Frank Martinfernandez made me laugh out loud.)



• Things we didn't really need to know but the internet is proud to tell us.

Again, another busy day.

It's kind of weird.

Some days are filled with a constant barrage of questions, discussions, meetings and tasks. Other days seem to be filled with, "Man, I wish I had something to do. Maybe I'll go for a walk."

Today was one of those days where I did not have time for a walk.

Hell, I'm lucky I had time for lunch.

*

Here are a couple of links:

• I find it amusing hat our President is finally discovering that our world is not filled with butterflies, rainbows and unicorns...



• I'm betting the doctors kept their distance from him.



• Only in Florida.

Chalk this one up to work.

It was one of those "busy as hell" days today so I didn't have a lot of time for interwebs.

Take a look at these while I relax and fall asleep in front of my TV:

• Only in Massachusetts is it possible to spend the most and get the least.



• File this one in the folder marked "OH MY GOD! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!" right next to Bird Flu, SARS and Swine Flu.



• I'm not sure I understand why he's complaining about this...



• I probably wouldn't have mentioned that part...

Pfffttt.... Protesters....

In my opinion, hippies are the single most prejudicial group of people on the planet. They make the KKK look open and inclusive.

In the first place, what the hell is an "urban farmer"? Isn't that what we used to call a gardener?

In the second place, "confronting the system" is a 1960s cliche' that ranks right up there with "hassled by the man" and "Far Out!". Stop saying it.

In the third place, the only people you are hurting by protesting on Wall Street is the little old lady who's retirement account tanked because you decided that you know what is best and everyone else is a moron.

I can almost hear the "prayer drums" and smell the body order...

*

Every once in a while, we read a story about some Afghan or Iraqi soldier suddenly turning his weapon on American soldiers and killing them. If that's the case, why are we bringing them here? What moron thought it would be a good idea to bring trained Afghanistan fighters over to the United States?

So now we have three potential terrorists wandering around.

Perfect - just freakin' perfect.

Then, to top it all off, the head of the Mass State Police goes and says, "There's no reason to think they have nefarious intent."

So we're willing to say that three trained fighters from the middle-east that suddenly go on walkabout in the northeast are okay but the little old lady in line at the security checkpoint who is wearing a diaper is a threat and needs to be stripped searched.

*

These links might entertain you:

• Key phrase in this story: "...little gummy penises..."



• Dude, business is good.



• Enlistment in the Italian Army should be increasing.



• Typical....



• If you need proof that our species ain't too bright, look no further than the people that fell for this.

I hope my grass seed didn't get washed away

Man, it rained like hell last night.

The Dog and I got woken up around 4:00 by that little downpour.

*

I got these links for you:

• They would have caught him if he was a Colombian hooker.



• New Hampshire ain't Florida but it's trying....



• Key entry from our favorite police log: "3:08 p.m. Some sort of sheep looking dog was loose on Highway 35 in Kalispell."



• I suspect these will end up in some trendy Japanese restaurant in New York City.

Another night with lots of sleep.

I think I might be working too hard or something because I was freakin' exhausted last night.

I fell asleep around 8:00 and slept straight through until 6:00 in the morning.

It was nice.

*

Since the Red Sox are out of the picture, I've decided to throw my weight behind the Pittsburgh Pirates.

I'd like to see Billy Beane and his Oakland A's win a world series but I'd like the Pirates to win it more so I'm rooting for them.

Besides, my cousin Paddy would probably get mad at me if I didn't yell, "Go Bucs!!!" every once in a while. (For those of you that don't get it, a pirate is also a buccaneer so the 'burghians all call the Pirates the Bucs.)

*

Even though they aren't in an position to win any series, world or otherwise, I'm still gonna watch the Red Sox play the Orioles. Good baseball is still good baseball.

You can visit these links:

• Key phrase in this story: 'Officers “forcibly” put him into the vehicle'



• Bat-wielding Woman in Underwear is a great name for a 1980s all-girl-big-hair band.



• Yes, alcohol was involved. Also, alligators and Australian rednecks....



• I have no idea...

Much better day today.

I fell asleep at 8:30 last night, woke up at 12:30, fell back to sleep shortly after and slept straight through until 4:00 this morning. hell, I have a feeling that for the first time in a long time, I actually got some REM sleep.

So that means I felt pretty darned good all day today.

It also means I'm probably going to fall asleep early again but that's okay. Falling asleep early doesn't bother me, it's the waking up three or four times at night that bother me.

*

Mr. Davis, I appreciate the fact that you are well-versed in the ways of law enforcement and I respect your years of public service but please, allow me to retort.

Your report is crap.

It ignores and/or downplays the responsibility of one important group - the students.

How come college students, or any large like-minded group, are excused their terrible behavior by our society? Is it because it's considered bad form to bust heads and break the group down into it's components so the damage to the innocent can be minimized?

Is it because we think to ourselves, "They're just kids"?

To that I say, bullshit, they are not "just kids".

"Kids" are human beings under the age of 16.

In my world, when you are old enough to take control of a 2,000 pound machine and hurtle it down the road at deadly speeds, you better be old enough to know the difference between right and wrong.

And it's just wrong to go smash up someones hard-earned property for no reason.

*

Here are some links:

• Now I want to go buy some Gatorade.



• I have never been a fan of the British Royal family. I think they are bunch of in-bred, stuffy windbags. But I gotta tell you, the two princes are making it difficult for me to not like them.



• We live in a pretty screwed up society...



• There is nothing I can say about this that will make it any funnier.



• Someone needs to explain the mayonnaise part to me...



• I think this is what my company is moving towards.

Once again, not much to say.

I left work at a decent hour today but last night was one of those nights where sleep was elusive.

I'll watch the Red Sox but I know I won't make it all the way through 9 innings. I'm hoping to see 7.

*

Today's links are websites that I visit on a regular basis:

• Flightaware - Track any flight.



• Heavens Above - Find out what's happening above your head.



• Marketwatch - See what's happening with the stock market.



• NOAA and the National Weather Service.



• NOAA and the Hurricane Tracking Center.



• USGS Earthquake Center.



• ABCNews AP news feed.



• Major League Baseball.



• Springfield Area Gas Prices.

Not much to say today.

It was kind of a long day that involved lots of time providing auditors with lots of evidence about lots of controls.

I'm kind of burnt out and I think I'm just going to fall asleep watching some baseball.

*

Here are some links:

• And the Father of the Year award goes to...



• Some people find body builders attractive. I am not one of those people.



• Only in Florida.



• Yes, alcohol was involved.



• Idaho? Seriously? I don't think so...

I'm tired

I think I got used to sleeping a little later during my two weeks of vacation and class.

*

Today NASA announced that we, The United States, are going back into the manned space-flight business.

We will be doing it via a commercial venture with government funding, which really isn't any different than the way we did it in the 1960s, and we will be doing it both low-orbit and long-duration. In other words, we will have both a space taxi as well as the ability to visit planets and moons.

This, my friends, is cool.

*

You might enjoy these links:

• You know you're bad news when the Satanists are against you.



• Our school administrators in action....



• Who designed these?



• This picture just might have been worth getting fired over.



• Only in Florida.



• I'm not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing.

Back at work and lovin' it!

Well, not really.

Let's face it, anyone that tells you they love to work is lying through their teeth. No one likes to work.

*

Here are some links you can click on:

• Rednecks and alcohol - the perfect combination.



• This is why we need the death penalty.



• My only question is, "Was it a Chinese restaurant?"

Tomorrow is back to work day

On Friday, we left class around 2:00 and I did go back to the office to touch base with the team and see what was happening.

On Monday, I will be back at work for a full day for the first time in two weeks and I know there are a lot of people looking for me.

The email 'Out of Office' message is a great idea but it gives everyone a target date to inundate you with requests...

*

In case you haven't been paying attention, the Red Sox have started winning some baseball games.

Too bad they waited until the end of the season to do that.

*

Here are today's links:

• Key phrase in this story: "He told police he needed them."



• Key phrase in this story: "With it being 9/11, we were all concerned there could be a real bomb on the plane."

Guess where I was today?

That's right, the Big E!

*

Now I know why I only go to  the Big E once every 20 years.

Several weeks ago we decided to go on on Saturday evening because that fit everyone's work schedule. When the weather dweebs announced that it was probably going to rain, we stuck by our plans because we were hoping the rain would keep the crowds down.

We were right.

Too be honest with you, it was the perfect time to go.

We got there around 5:45 and it was raining pretty hard. The majority of the traffic was leaving the fairgrounds and we were able to park on the grounds.

We put on our rain gear and headed in to what was essentially an empty fair.

There were no lines anywhere and since the majority of the fair is in the big buildings, we didn't have to worry about the rain. Which, by the way, was down to a slight drizzle and tapering off all together by 6:30 or so.

All in all, going to the Big E when it's raining is actually a pretty good idea.

*

Now I'm going to spend my night digesting the Rhode Island clam fritters, the Maine baked potato and the few cheese fries I ate after my son said he couldn't eat anymore.

You can visit these links:

• Only in Pennsylvania.



• Isn't this a sign of the apocalypse?



• Only in Florida.

Classes are over

Now the studying begins.

The certification exam I am planning to take is one of those 6 hour long tests. The class I just spent a week in is a boot camp style class in preparation for this certification exam.

The instructor put us into study groups and provided us with a storgae location to work together. We have been instructed create 5 questions each that the others in our group will try to answer.

This means that each week, I will have to answer 20 questions, 5 each from the other four folks in my study group. At the end of six weeks, I will have answered 120 questions as well as have created 30 questions of my own.

There are 2 other study groups that will also be creating questions and I have access to their questions. If I'm diligent and I access those questions, at the end of the six weeks, I will have seen and answered 360 questions.

Hopefully that will be enough for me take the exam and pass.

*

What does all that mean to you?

Not a damned thing but at least you now know why I haven't been paying a lot of attention to the interwebs.

And I suspect that won't improve because I have to create my questions and answer everyone else's...

*

Here are some links:

• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminal of the Week.



• Only at Walmart.



• It's people like this that make it difficult for the rest of us...



• Now they tell me...

And another one goes.

My good friend Scott is retiring at the end of this month and we held a party for him this evening. It was a good time and I suspect that the hardliners will be there until well after 10:00.

Us old guys all left around 7:30.

That means I didn't get home until late in the evening so you only get a few links:

• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminal of the Day.



• This is your brain. This is your brain on drugs. Any questions?



• Key entry from our favorite police log: "7:33 p.m. A brown Datsun type thing was seen swerving through Columbia Falls."

Yea, yea. Whatever...

Once again, it was a much longer day than I anticipated.

That means you get nothing.

Another long day

I decided not to go into work at 6:30 this morning and instead I stayed in bed until 7:00. Then got up and went to my class for 8:15.

I will never do that again....

There are a sh!tload of buses on the road at 8:00 in the morning!

And man, those things stop.

A lot.

*

While I watch the Red Sox play the Orioles, you can click on these:

• Everybody loves Bacon.



• And I thought it was tough to cross Boylston Street in Boston....



• And they say the French understand love....

Long Day = Short Post

I started my day at 6:30 at my desk where I spent an hour going through a lot of email.

Then I went to class at 8:00 where I spent 8 hours having my brain filled with information.

At 5:00, I went back to the office to take care of an issue.

I arrived home at 7:00 and now I'm calling it a night.

Baseball won't be the same

Today was Derek Jeter Day at Yankee Stadium and it is the official end of an era.

While there are about 20 more games to be played in the season and the Yankees are trying hard to make the post season (no, they aren't gonna make it), today was the day that the Yankees got everyone together in Yankee Stadium and told Jeter that he would be missed.

It was a nice ceremony and Jeter gave a nice thank you speech to the Steinbrener family and to the fans.

Proof once again that the Yankees know how to do it right.

*

I know that a lot people like to accuse NBC News of being a liberal voice for the Democrats but I'm not sure I agree with that assessment. Hell, take a look at Chuck Todd's interview of President Obama and you can't really say that NBC is coddling the President.

In my opinion, the key question in that interview was, "Was that bad intelligence or your misjudgment?"

There is no good answer to that question.

*

While I ponder my inevitable return to work tomorrow morning, you can visit these two links:

• Yes, alcohol was involved.



• Key entry from our favorite police log: "10:25 a.m. An employee called from a business on Highway 2 West complaining that “weirdos” and “tweakers,” were hanging around the store."

So far, all these "storms" are a bust.

They said we might have severe thunderstorms but so far, nothing. And for that, I'm happy.

I figure any day that I don't have to fire up the generator is a good day.

*

The baseball game has started and I'm gonna watch it.

You can visit these links:

• I have a new favorite football team: The Cincinnati Bengals.



• Ah, the joys of fatherhood....



• If you have never read anything from David Thorne, this is a good one to start with.

The AC is on

For those of you that thought summer was over, I guess you thought wrong.

And don't hand me any of that global warming crap. On September 21, 1985, it was 92 degrees and muggy as hell.

How do I know that? It was my wedding day and I was wearing a tuxedo and sweating profusely.

While I was sweating, my best man was walking up to everyone he could find, tugging on one of his cuff links and saying, "Bond. James Bond." with a Scottish accent.

It was a hell of a wedding.

*

Technically, today is the last day of my vacation. When I return to work on Monday, I will be in a week-long class at our Chicopee facility.

Kinda like a vacation....

*

Here are some links:

• Key phrase in this story: "No one [expletive] saw me steal anything!" (Check out her mug shot)



• I gotta admit, the headline kinda caught my attention...



• This is funny.
• 
  
• I won't be eating at the "Mad Fresh Bistro"...



• I guess you only get one packet.

Okay, I did a little work today,

But not much. I answered a few emails and sat in a teleconference with a vendor but other than that, I did nothing.

No sir, not a thing.

Well, maybe a few things.

I relaxed with The Dog for a while. Then I took a drive out through Hampden into Monson to check out a shooting range I might join and finally I went to Big Y to buy some Big E tickets.

Not a bad day for an old, fat guy on vacation.

*

Here are a few links:

• Key phrase in this story: "Lind is no longer employed there."



• You have got to love dogs.



• Only in Florida.

Yes, I am still enjoying my vacation

Thanks for asking.

*

Here is a brief public service announcement:

*

You might find this links entertaining or educational:

• WTF?



• Well someone needs to get into his head because apparently he's not in it...



• Here's a followup to yesterdays stolen ring story. I'm betting she's sifting as you read this.



• Pffftttt..... Rednecks....



• Only at Walmart.

Have I mentioned that I'm on vacation?

Taking a week off with nothing to do may sound like a waste of vacation but trust me, it's not.

You should try it sometime.

*

Here are some inks:

• Key phrase in this story: "...authorities were still waiting to recover the ring."



• Rule number one when flying: Behave yourself and don't be an ass.



• Only in Pennsylvania.

Finally a day with nothing to do

Well, actually I had a few things to do but I did manage to find some time to read the news and look for links.

*

Unfortunately, the news if filled with stories that lack any semblance of fun or interest. Let's face it, I'm hard pressed to make fun of ISIS because there is nothing fun about a bunch of a$$holes running around cutting peoples heads off or crucifying them.

I think I'll just stay away from those stories.

*

What say we go take a look at some of those links:

• Actually, this is damned good idea.



• Only in Florida.



• Who the hell wants to buy a skunk?



• Ever wonder why Washington state is constantly in the top ten in coffee consumption? Well wonder no longer.



• This sounds like my kind of project.



• Key phrase in this story: "sewer fishing is a catch-and-release sport only."