Not a long day

I just don't have a lot to say.

Here are some links:

• How screwed up do you have to be to carjack a hearse...



• He was only partially successful.



• Can someone please explain to me what happened to men....



• Key phrase in this story: "Police noticed a small mark on the nipple in question."



• Attention everyone: The people that go to these things are the kind of people you really don't want to see naked.

Back at work and it was a long day.

Everyone wanted everything and they all wanted it RIGHT NOW!!!

I remember having little kids and they wanted everything right away. It took my wife and myself a few years to teach them to be patient. At this point in my life, I no longer have the desire nor the patiance to teach someone, specially adults, how to be patient so I just tell them to calm down, sit down and back the f... off.

Not really but you get my point....

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I like this meme because I drove by these tails all the time when my daughter was in college at St. Michael's.

They are off of Rt 89 in South Burlington, VT, just outside of Williston.

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So anyways, I didn't get a chance to do any internetting today.

Take a gander at these meager links:

• I believe I might have mentioned this the other day....



• Welcome to Springfield.

To quote John , "Nice day for a nap"

As amazing as it sounds, the Red Sox managed to beat the Rays this afternoon and take the series. Now they head up to Toronto to play four games against the Blue Jays. Hopefully they win more than two up there and begin to shrink their deficit.

Or am I being too pessimistic?

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Like John says, today was a perfect day for naps and I took Johns advice.

I'm back at work tomorrow so despite next week only being four days long, it's going to be a long four days.

*

Click on these:

• If you throw flour into the air over a campfire, it will turn into a massive fireball.



• This is a bad thing. Get ready for the people of Greece to start a riot/civil uprising and for the markets to crash.



• Key phrase in this story: "As he lit a second cigarette, he stated that the grill smoke bothers him."



• Only in Florida.



• Leave it to a German to bring a gun to a vacuum cleaner fight.



• I was attacked by a beaver once but I managed to beat it off.

Long day of relaxation.

I spent part of my day getting ready for the upcoming rain storm by cleaning my gutters.

I spent the rest of my day with family celebrating my nephews high school graduation. It was a good time and we didn't get home until much later than I anticipated.

The good part of it is that the puppy did not have any accidents while we were gone.

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Between cleaning the gutters and going to the party, I was reading up on the current batch of declared Presidential candidates because, well, you should do that. I mean seriously, how do you cast a reasonable vote if you don't know anything about these people? Voters not learning about the candidates is how we end up with dingbats in office.

So anyways, here are my current thoughts and opinions on the field:

Democrats:
Hillary Rodham - Arrogant, self-centered, gold-digger. She has failed at many things, including her marriage. Given her performance as Secretary of State (think Benghazi), if she gets elected we can expect our allies to turn their backs on us and our enemies to become more aggressive.

Lincoln Chaffee - "I'm a republican! No, wait, I'm an independent!, No, wait, I'm a democrat! Yea, that's what I am, a democrat. Cross my heart, hope to die." This is a guy who can't make up his mind about anything. Personally, I have no problem with people changing their minds but they should have a compelling reason. In Chaffee's case, he changed his mind because it was expedient for him.

Bernie Sanders - Socialist from Vermont. No, seriously, he is a declared socialist but he is running as a democrat. His stated goal is to eliminate "wealth inequality" by over-taxing the wealthy and giving money to the not-wealthy. He loves taxes. His motto could be, "Your money is our money so suck it rich boy." I suspect that he thinks everyone that works is wealthy.

Martin O'Malley - He also loves taxes. As governor of Maryland, he tried to overtake Massachusetts in finding new ways to tax the people. He raised income taxes, alcohol taxes, tobacco taxes and something called hospital taxes. He also raised corporate taxes and sales taxes. His motto could be "Taxes, taxes, taxes! We love taxes more than Bernie Sanders!"

Republicans:
Jeb Bush - Self-declared "defender capitalism and the right to economic freedom", he seems to be able to cut taxes without worrying about any negative impacts on the poor or disadvantaged. I'm not entirely sure he really is a "defender of capitalism" but he sure seems to like the idea of fewer laws/regulations. He's even gone so far as to suggest that any new laws should have an expiration or renewal date.

Donald Trump - Entrepreneur, real estate tycoon, minor celebrity and general moron. We'd all be better off living in Mexico if he gets elected President.

Ben Carson - The anti-Obama. He is a retired neurosurgeon who was a declared independent for his entire life but when he decided to run for President, he affiliated himself with the Republican Party. He did this because, as he put it, "If you run as an independent, you only risk splitting the electorate. I clearly would not be welcome in the Democratic Party, and so that only leaves one party. Fortunately, the fit is pretty good."  He claims to believe in a reasonable sized government and personal responsibility.

Ted Cruz - A Canadian. No, seriously, he was born in Canada. And he has those sloping eyebrows that he uses to convey empathy but that make him look like a 1940s cartoon character. Is it even legal for him to run for President?

Carly Fiorina - Former CEO of HP, she merged HP with Compaq and laid off 30,000 American employees while hiring 35,000 foreign employees. After 6 years at HP, the board of directors told her to resign. Now she wants to be President of the United States. Hope she doesn't lay off a bunch of Americans and replace us with a bunch of non-Americans.

Marco Rubio - He looks like he's 15 years old. He also looks like he got beat up on the school playground. Since you have to be at least 35 to run for President, is it even legal for him to run?

As for the rest of the republicans, Lindsey Graham, Mike Huckabee, Bobby Jindal, George Pataki, Rand Paul, Rick Perry and Rick Santorum - They all smell the same to me; Ronald Reagan Wanna-be's and Tea Party Clingers. It is my opinion that the Tea Party people have done more damage to the republican party than anything the democrats have ever done. Also, they strike me as the type of zealots who say things like, "The theory of evolution is just a theory!"

I realize it's pretty early in the process but I wanted to get some opinions out there now. There will be others who will declare, like Chris Christie so I'll probably do a recap at some point in the near future.

What I do know is that 2016 is probably going to be another one of those elections where we all have crappy choices to make because there is no common-sense candidate.

Last day of not working

Today is the final day of my vacation for this month. Instead of taking an single week in July, I decided to take every Friday off because, well, why the hell not...

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The Red Sox sent Joe Kelly down to Pawtucket to "work on his consistency" which is manager-speak for "We're paying you a lot of money, get you shit together."

The Red Sox are once again the worst team in the American League As a matter of fact, they are playing so badly right now that if they lose a few more games, they'll win the honor of being the worst team in all of Major League Baseball.

Personally, it's time to for ownership to evaluate their GM and their Manager. One of them screwed up big time and he needs to be replaced.

*

Here are some links:

• Only in Florida.



• Only in Florida.



• Yet another reason I gave up golf.



• Lightning Rod...

Day 4 was a long day

Got some things done around the house today and then went to a retirement party for a friend.

That means you don't get anything.

Day 3 of not working.

I should take more vacations.

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The great philosopher Dave Barry once said:

"The difference between men and women is that, if given the choice between saving the life of an infant or catching a fly ball, a woman will automatically choose to save the infant, without even considering if there's a man on base."

In more baseball news, the Red Sox are once again in last place in the American League.

I'm not sure why I keep watching them....

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Here are some links you might want to visit:

• Only in Florida, where they have more lightning strikes than any other spot on earth.



• If you plan on going to New Jersey, don't go swimming.



• My dog does the same thing.



• I keep mine in the fridge.

I hate tornado watches...

Once again, my little part of the world is under a tornado watch. The only tornado warning so far is about 40 miles away over in Woonsocket, Rhode Island but the talking heads are pretty sure we'll see one or two of those "rotational storms".

I'm hoping for a nice quiet evening watching the Red Sox but I filled my generator with fuel and it's ready to go, just in case.

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Here are today's links:

• The man is smarter than he lets on.



• Enjoy this minute and a half of puppies.



• Key entry from our favorite police log: "4:46 p.m. A man wearing a cream colored shirt and absolutely nothing else was seen standing near the river in Bigfork."

Guess who is on vacation?

Since we are fast approaching the half-way point in 2015, I decided to start using some of my vacation time so I don't end up either taking the entire month of December off or losing some vacation time.

I don't like losing vacation time...

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No Red Sox tonight but WPIX is carrying the Yankees game. They are playing the Phillies tonight and I like the Yankees so that's what I'm watching.

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Here are some links:

• Yes, alcohol was involved.



• Key phrase in this story: "I never thought I would regret it."



• If there was one thing I could unlearn, it would be this.



• Only in Florida.

Well, they lost last night but won this afternoon

They took the series from the best team in the American League. Why the hell can't they do that against every team in the American League?

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Here's a picture of The Small Emergency Backup Dog licking my bald spot.

She's a little weird.

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Here are some links:

• Key phrase in this story: "They are both being lodged in the Pike County Detention Center."



• Hot Tub Hoppers would be a great name for a really bad 1980s washed-up college-chums movie.

I am shocked.

They beat the Royals last night!

How the hell did the worst team in the American League beat the best team in the American League?

The Red Sox are no longer the worst team in the AL but they are the worst team in the ALEast. As a matter of fact, they are five games behind the fourth place team which isn't a good thing.

They are back at it again tonight out in Kansas City, Missouri and if they win again, I might be convinced to be extra-shocked.

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Here are some links:

• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminal of the Week.



• Key phrase in this story: "Police say Stewart also attempted to drink a closed bottle of fuel injector cleaning fluid, but officers stopped him."



• Hey, sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.



• Something tells me this was not a congenial divorce...

They are on a winning streak of one.

They managed to split the series with the Braves but now they are playing the Royals. The Royals are currently one of the best teams in baseball and I do not anticipate a stellar performance by the Red Sox.

As a matter of fact, I will be shocked if they win one of the three games of the series.

After that series ends, they return to Boston and play the Orioles.

Historically, they don't play well against the Orioles...

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Try these links:

• There are times when I think Jon Stewart is a little full of himself. This is not one of those times.



• Obvious T-Shirt saying of the day...



• She really likes her underwear.



• I'm betting alcohol or drugs were involved.



• The women of Sweden apparently have a lot of free time on their hands.



• Yes, we have.

Nothing today

It was an "all out" kind of day so you get nothing.

Catch you tomorrow.

Long Day = Short Post

I took a vacation day today which means I only worked three or four hours before heading home.

My wife got home around noon and we loaded the car with several large items before heading up to Keene to help out youngest get settled into his new apartment.

We spent the entire day in Keene at various retail outlets purchasing a bunch of apartment stuff like a vacuum cleaner, some pans and kitchen "stuff", all the cleaning supplies needed to clean up after four 21 year old guys, etc....

Then we took the man out to dinner, took him grocery shopping, said our goodbyes and got home around 8:30.

All-in-all, it was a pretty good day and he is now settled in his new dwelling.

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Now I'm going to fall asleep watching some baseball.

Here's a link or two:

• They say a picture is worth a thousand words and this mug shot pretty much says it all.



• Everybody loves bacon....



• We need this where I work.

No lawn watering today either.

Thanks to a mostly cloudy day followed by a nice downpour, my dirt is damp.

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The Red Sox are so deep into the suck hole that I'm not sure they can dig themselves out.

I'm not going to stop watching them but I'm not going to force myself to stay awake until 10:30 at night just to see them lose.

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I guess if you can be transgender, you can be transracial, right?

For instance, I am a mutt. My family comes from all over europe with probably a little sprinkling of American Indian. If I suddenly decide I want to be Irish, I can just become Irish, right? Or what about Navaho. If I suddenly decide I want to become Navaho, I just have to announce the I am transNavaho, right?

Wait! Even better! What if I say I'm transMashantucket-Pequot? Does that get me a taste of the Foxwoods Casino action?

I'm waiting for the first dingbat to come out and claim that he/she identifies as a dolphin or a rabbit....

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Try these links:

• How stupid do you have to be to issue a bomb threat at quitting time. Back in my day, we called in our bomb threats just before lunch.



• Excuse me?



• Key phrase in this story: "...a package of bacon was found in his pocket."

No need to water my lawn today.

As much as I like a nice spring day, I find myself liking rainy days more. The lack of rain this year has had me dragging my sprinkler around my yard every other day or so. I'm not doing to water the lawn so much as I am trying to stop the dirt from drying out and blowing around like an Oklahoma dust storm.

Based on what we got today and what is predicted for the rest of the week, I probably won't have to worry about dampening my dirt until next week or so.

*

The Red Sox are now ten games behind .500. This means that if they happen to win the next 10 games, they will be tied for last place with the Baltimore Orioles.

So hey, at least they got that going for them....

*

Here are a few links:

• Why is it that when I read this story, I hear the sounds of coconuts being smacked together...



• I've said it before and I'll say it again: "As a species, we need to apologize to all other species for the 1970s."



• Key phrase in this story: "He corrected investigators by telling them that his wounds were deliberate"

Holy cow, they suck.

While I'm still trying to figure out why John Farrell still has a job, I'm also trying to figure out what the hell went wrong with the supposed "big-leaguers" that make up the team.

I watched at least two fly balls drop in-between three outfielders, just like my little-leaguers used to do. I also watched several balls roll through the infield without so much as a glove touching them. And then, to top it all off, I watched them strand runners on base in almost every inning.

This is killing me....

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You might like these:

• Here's a rocket scientist for ya...



• Only in Florida.

At least the Athletics are worse, for now....

The Red Sox are the second worst team in the American League. Only the Oakland Athletics are worse.

Right now it's kind of hard to be a Boston sports fan. Between the Patriots and that idiotic deflate-gate thing and the Red Sox continuing their 2014 season as the worse team in the league, there really isn't much to celebrate.

And yes, I know I didn't say anything about the Celtics or the Bruins. That's because I don't give a shit about basketball and hockey is one of those take-it-or-leave-it sports for me.

Now, if we somehow get a curling team, I'm all for that.

*

To all my friends and relatives in Law Enforcement - Keep your head on a swivel, wear your vest and watch each others back.

I can't imagine that there has been a worse time to be a cop. The mid-1970s comes close when all the riots were going on but at least back then, most politicians recognized that the cops were the only thing keeping our society intake. Without them, it would have been chaos.

Now, the politicians are more interested in appeasing the assholes of our world. They almost seem to be encouraging this behavior.

As for the cops, they are afraid they might be arrested for doing their job.

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You can try these links:

• The key word in this headline is "again".



• Only in California.



• I'm moving to Iowa.

Another busy day

I managed to get home early but I had much stuff to do once I got here.

My lawn is remaining green but only because I am actively watering it. I set the sprinklers to sprinkling when I got home.

While that was going on, I took care of a small issue with my basement. Specifically, the flood that occurred during the rain storm the other day needed to be sopped up.

Then my wife announced that it was grocery shopping day so off we went.

Now I'm going to watch the Red Sox and fall asleep in my recliner.

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You can visit these:

• Meet Donna Weatherford, the latest member of the A-Team.



• But honey! It was only business!

Long Day = Short Post.

Too much to do and not enough time.

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I found you a link or two:

• Looks like we finally have a DA who isn't in it for the headlines and understands that there is a difference between what is a "crime" and what is simple human behavior. Good for him.



• When I was 15, I was clearing tables at Jack August Restaurant and digging holes in an apple orchard.....

They lost on a wild pitch,

The Red Sox lost to the Orioles last night by a score of 1-0. The only run that was scored during the game was when a Orioles baserunner came in from third on a wild pitch that rolled to the backstop.

If it wasn't for that one pitch, they might still be playing in a 0-0 tie.

Man, they are in full suck mode right now.

*

Try these out:

• Only in Boston. (Watch the video to the end to see the guy's explanation).



• Only in Florida.



• I'd vote for Darth Vader.

I'm tired.

The Red Sox are playing the Orioles this evening so I'm going to try and watch that for a bit. Hopefully the storms that are rolling through won't interrupt the flow of electrons into my home.

*

Here are a few links you might want to click on:

• I like the way the guy just keeps on driving like nothing happened.



• DARPA recently held a robotics competition. Here are some of the best fails.



• Yes, alcohol was involved.



• Only in Florida.

Long Day

Not long because of work but long because John talked me into joining him for adult beverages.

To be honest with you, he didn't actually "talk" me into it.

Actually, all he said was, "Wanna stop for a beer?" and I said "Sure."

So he's either very persuasive or I'm easily led astray.

*

Try these links:

• Half way through the year and they are already up to twelve. They are on pace for a record-setting year.



• How pissed off do you have to be to try and kill someone with a bulldozer...



• I'm not sure who's weirder - the naked tourists or the superstitious Malaysians.



• My money is on Minnie.



• The hell with what's going on with the G7 Summit, this here is some serious and important news.

You gotta love days like today

Comfortable temps, no humidity, sun was shining, I mowed my lawn and the Red Sox came back from behind to win.

It doesn't get much better than that.

*

The Small Emergency Backup Dog is growing but she's still a puppy.

She's gained a few pounds and she now walks around on long spindly "teenager" legs. She and The Large Main Dog have become fast friends and they play all day long. It's fun to watch them as they frolic around the backyard.

I'm really impressed with The Dog because he hasn't killed her yet. She has a thing she does where she jumps up and clamps onto the loose skin of his throat. Then she hangs there while he tries to shake her off.

It looks like it hurts like hell and he lets her get away with it.

*

Here are some links:

• WPD shared this on their Facebook and I thought it was funny.



• Key entry from our favorite police log: "5:21 a.m. Someone spotted what looked like a drunken man standing beside a car on Farm to Market Road. But, from what the caller could tell, he wasn’t vomiting or anything like that."



• Only in Florida.



• Here's your Naked Guy In The News story.

Today is the 71st anniversary of D-Day

I thought this was an interesting story about the day.

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The Red Sox are in last place but at this point, I'm finding it difficult to be disappointed. They will either figure out how to play the game or they won't. Either way, I'll still watch them.

I watched them last night and again this afternoon when they managed to win two games against the last place team in the American League, the Athletics.

I feel bad for the Red Sox but I also feel bad for the Athletics.

Billy Beane, the Athletics GM, has come so close for the last few years but he just can't seem to pull it off.

He takes guys that other teams don't want and gets the most out of them. I've always admired Beane and his approach to baseball and I kind of wish it would pay off for him.

*

Here are today's links:

• Only in Florida.



• Only in Texas.

I had a retirement thing to go to

My friend Richard retired today and I will miss him.

It's late and I had way too many adult beverages this evening.

*

Say a prayer for my friends.

I watched some of WCVB's coverage of the Alemany trial today and I have no idea how Amy's mom and dad are able to sit there. If it were me, I would pick up the first heavy object I found and start beating that little piece of shit until either he was bleeding out of his ass or two large court officers pulled me off him.

He's not insane, he's evil.

Plain and simple, he is pure evil.

*

Here are some links:

• Some people are just plain stupid.



• Here's a followup on the Florida Tin Foil Guy.



• Worm Balls would be a great name for a 1970s rock band

Not a great day.

This head cold is killing me, I broke the zipper on my pants, my boss is an ass, the Red Sox lost and I have nothing to take for lunch tomorrow.

Is there anything else that screw around with me today?

*

I'm going to take my NyQuil and fall asleep.

You can click on these links:

• It's the winner of The Mom Of The Year award!



• Only in Florida.



• Hold my beer...



• Key phrase in this story: "Penis-flashing Wagner is known for his attention-seeking stunts"

I have a cold.

Last night I started to feel a little water-logged and I noticed a bit of a runny nose. This morning I found myself deep into a full-blown headcold with a lovely sinus headache and difficulty breathing through my nose.

I took two DayQuil and brought two more to work with me to take after lunch.

I hate colds.

They suck.

And drip.

*

The Red Sox picked up another outfielder because apparently they have implemented a "you can never have enough outfielders" policy.

They played the first game of a double-header at 1:30 this afternoon and they managed to win the game.

Tonight's game two is at 7:00 and I'm probably not going to watch a lot of it. The one thing you can count on with me and head cold medication is that I will fall asleep a few minutes after taking it.

*

You can click on these if you want to:

• Only in Florida.



• Only in Pennsylvania.

The pipe is fixed.

Sometime around noon today, my wife communicated to me that there were two guys and a back hoe in our side yard. I told her that was good news and would she please keep my informed.

Shortly after that, she communicated that the broken pipe was made of asbestos. I told her to not put any in her mouth.

After a bit, she said the pipe was fixed (replaced, actually) and they were using a camera to check out the system.

Finally she informed me that all is well and I needed to put some grass seed down on our side yard.

Life is good my friends, life is good....

*

Well, the Red Sox did not lose last night becasue they didn't play last night.

Tonight is a different story and it is my plan to watch at least an inning or two.

You can visit these links if you would like:

• They have to be advised not to do this?



• I suppose if you need a reason, this one is as good as any.



• We only have the occasional ant.

Holy Crap!

Read this story.

Go ahead, I'll wait...

Done? Good.

What the Iraqi's are saying is that ISIS is now as well-armed as the American Army because they are in possession of millions and millions of dollars of American military hardware.

Sure, the headline says "Humvee" but read further into the article and you'll see the words "armor", "machine-guns", "grenade launchers" and "tanks".

So not only are they now a heavily-armed fighting force, they are also indistinguishable from the Iraqis and the Americans.

Think about it: How does the pilot in the A-10 know the difference between a tank or Humvee being driven by a bunch of ISIS terrorists and a tank or Humvee being driven by American or Iraqi soldiers? How does the drone operator know the difference? How does the recon team sitting on a rocky outcrop watching a road know the difference?

They don't know the difference, that's how.

Boy, I sure am glad we allowed that Arab Spring thing to happen while at the same time we pulled our troops out of there.

This is turning out to be a very, very bad situation.

*

So Microsoft wants me to upgrade to Windows 10

I'm not entirely sure I want to upgrade but what the hell, I'll give it a try.

Be prepared for me to complain about it...

*

Try these links:

• Sometimes I find stories that show why America is a pretty damned good country to live in.



• The City of Brotherly Love...