Thursday, December 22, 2016

It's a Christmas Miracle!

I was wrapping Christmas presents yesterday when I discovered a freakin' Christmas Miracle! Some of the wrapping paper I was using had a grid of lines on the back that made cutting it in a straight line a hell of a lot easier than eyeballing it!

I thought that was the best thing I'd ever seen and I exclaimed to my daughter that this was great. She kind of indicated to me that maybe I was a little out of touch because she knew all about the wrapping paper grid lines.

Why was I not made aware of this modern miracle of science earlier in my life? Why is it that no one told me about this and you all allowed me to continue along in ignorance, buying un-gridded wrapping paper and having crooked edges on all my presents?

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In keeping with the holiday season, we here at The Daily News© will be using the Christmas Tree and the Menorah as our paragraph separator until after January 1st.

Yes, I know Hanukkah doesn't start until December 24th and I know Christmas is on December 25th but what the hell, if Sears and Target and Walmart and Macy's and every other store on the planet can start playing Christmas carols and displaying Christmas trees sometimes around November 1st, I can start using the symbols on December 22nd.

No, I have not suddenly found religion. I found the page on this website that lets me use symbols and tiny pictures and I'm gonna use them, dammit.

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