Long day today.

My weeks are going to fill up fast because we are coming to the end of the college semester.

Our daughter is graduating this year and our youngest is moving into an apartment at the end of this semester. That means my wife and I will be doing a lot of driving back and forth moving stuff and attending events.

Add to that my campaign for selectman and it's commitments and you can begin to see why my weeks are filling up fast.

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I did manage to find these:

• Trout River and The Exploding Whales would be a fantastic name for a 1950s Blue Grass band.



• This is why I don't go to soccer games.



• Oh Canada....

No, I don't have any signs.

Those things are expensive as hell. I won't spend my own money on them and I certainly won't spend anyone else's money on them.

Several folks have asked where they can send money to fund my campaign and I tell them to keep their money, just tell their friends to vote for me.

You should also tell your friends to vote for me.

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Take your time and read these three stories from three different news outlets. The first is from NBCNews, the second is from the Washington Post and the third is from USA Today.

Go ahead, I'll wait....

After reading those stories, I bet you can tell me what kind of rifle the shooter used, can't you?

That's right, according to those three reputable news organizations, the shooter used an "assault rifle".

Now, take a few more minutes and read this story from CNN, another reputable news organization.

Seems that maybe CNN decided to not jump on the whole "assault rifle" bandwagon and waited until the police spokesman came out with a statement. That statement, from the police spokesman, says that the shooter used a shotgun. He even went so far as to say, "That was the only weapon that he had at that time."

Guess there was no 'assault rifle", eh?

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Here are today's links:

• It's only a matter of time before they outlaw these things....



• Key phrase in this very Canadian story: "A two storey, 21-metre-long Budweiser blimp in the shape of a hockey goal light is loose..."



• Key phrase in this story that indicates maybe the people of San Francisco aren't as open-minded as we've been led to believe: "They want to discriminate against cupcakes?"



• Boston is number two? What the hell is so funny about Boston? Must be our esteemed governor...

Communication is key.

At least, that's what everyone keeps wanting to talk to me about.

"How will you communicate with your constituents?"
"How can the town better communicate with business leaders?"
"Can more be done to get the minutes and agendas of committee meetings communicated out to the public?"

Communication is a two-way street. If only one side of a conversation is "communicating", it's called a lecture and no one wants to be lectured.

Also, there is a fine line between communication and the generation of white noise. Too much communication overwhelms your listener and they stop paying attention.

I'm a firm believer that simply stating the facts and letting the adults reach their own conclusions is the best way to communicate. I hate using buzz-words and I'm not really capable of putting a "spin" on a message. For the most part, my method of communicating is to state what I feel, think and believe without a lot of extraneous crap.

Oh, and if I ever use the word transparency without also using a sarcastic tone, feel free to tell me to shut up and sit down.

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You might find these entertaining:

• This is either the bravest or the dumbest woman on the planet.  John Daley is a large man who swings a golf club with a massive amount of power. Oh, and did I mention he's also usually drunk as hell when he does it....



• I can pretty much guarantee you that there is no way I would ever be able to get my dog to wear this.



• Key entry from our favorite police log: "12:25 p.m. A Columbia Falls man wanted to press charges against the a photographer who sneaked onto his property, took photos, and posted them on Facebook."



• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminal of the Week.



• Only in Florida.

Busy day

We made a trip up to Keene to visit with our youngest. Tomorrow is his 20th birthday but due to some commitments, he wasn't able to come home. He asked if we could come up so we did.

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I did manage to listen to the entire Red Sox game during our ride and man, did they kinda suck.

Oh well. It's still early in the season.

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You might like these:

• Key phrase in this story: "The marijuana was hidden in her undergarment."



• In case you are interested, I change mine every day.



• This is why I don't go to church.

Good day for Boston sports

The Red Sox managed to beat the Blue Jays today and the Bruins managed to beat the the Red Wings to take round one of the Stanley Cup playoffs.

This means that the Red Sox are now only one game under .500 and only 2 1/2 games behind the Yankees in the AL East. They have one more game against the Blue jays before they return to Boston to play the Rays.

It also means that the Bruins now get to face the Canadians in round two of the Stanley Cup. It's always interesting when Boston plays Montreal.

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These are some links you might like:

• You have got to love dogs.



• This can't possibly end well...



• Only in Florida.

Finally, a not long day.

Today was one of those days where everything went very well. No major issues, no emergencies and no whiners. Things just clicked along and I managed to get home in time to take The Dog for a nice long walk.

He loves nice long walks because there are plenty of things out there that need to be sniffed and pee'd on and it's his job to sniff and pee.

Trust me, he takes his job very, very seriously.

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I like Howie Carr. I don't love Howie Carr and I certainly don't think he is the smartest man in the room but sometimes he writes things that I can't help but agree with.

I personally think that the citizens of Massachusetts made a major mistake when we elected Ed Markey. If you put 10 people in a room and one of them was Ed Markey and the other nine were stand-ins from the movie, "Idiocracy", Ed would be the dumbest guy in the room.

Have you ever sat and talked to someone who is so convinced they are right and no matter how many ways you point out the flaws in their conclusion, you can't sway them? They are right and that is all there is to it.

That is Ed Markey. No one can convince the man that he might be wrong because he is always right. At least until he changes his mind. Then he'll say he was wrong before but now he is right.

Why do we elect people who aren't willing to admit that maybe, just maybe, someone other than them might be right about something.

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You might find these links entertaining:

• Pffftttt.... Rednecks....



• You have no idea how proud I am to live in a state where the legislators have time to spend on this kind of shit....



• Someone needs to head back to town and get a few thousand gallons of milk.

Another long day.

Seems like every day is a long day for me. My company is working on a significant change and I'm involved in driving that change in my division. This means lots of new meetings in addition to the meetings I already attend. And all of that is in addition to the actual work I do for the company.

Put it all together and my days are full and long.

Bottom line is that I don't really mind the work because it makes the days go by quickly. The problem is that they seem to be going by a little too quickly.

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I did manage to find some links:

• They got some tough laws in Sweden....



• Yes, I'm only posting this because of the headline. Yes, sometimes I do act like a 12 year old.



• Key subtitle in this video: "The outcome was less that satisfactory...."

Hey! It rained!

My grass seed should be happy for a day or two.

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The Red Sox need to really take a long hard look at not only their pitching but their hitting as well. They got whomped by the Yankees last night and I have a feeling that tonight isn't going to go a lot better.

Hopefully they figure out what their bats are for and they start scoring some runs.

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I had kind of a long day and I've about had it. I'm going to watch some baseball while you click on these links:

• We don't pay cops enough money.



• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminal of the Year.



• Only at Walmart.

I would like it to rain.

As I type this, the weather is cloudy but not wet. I'm thinking about the $40.00 worth of grass seed I have on my lawn and I'm really hoping the weather turns wet in the very near future.

While I am not a good grower of grass and I don't possess the proper skills to determine what is best for growing grass, I do know that one of the things grass seed needs is water.

I'm really hoping it rains. Soon.

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So now that the Boston Marathon is over with, the news outlets have discovered that there is an entire whole other part of the world not called Boston and there was actual news today.

Some of it was kind of interesting:

• Oh, I wish I was an Oscar Meyer weiner!



• Apparently Dyngus Day is not just an Ohio thing...



• We do not pay cops, or dispatchers, enough money....

I love technology

My daughter went back to school this afternoon and I wanted to be here when she left. Thanks to my companies investment in remote technology, I was able to work from home this morning.

I work for a great company.

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You can try out these links:

• It's only a matter of time before they outlaw egg decorating.



• Our TSA in action...

I wish I had more for you but it seems that the only thing that happened anywhere on the planet today is the Boston Marathon.

Happy Easter

I had a full day of food and napping today and now I'm settling in to watch the Red Sox play the Orioles.

I'm hoping they win because the losing thing kinda sucks.

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You might enjoy these:

• In the first place, anyone that leaves half a million dollars to a cat deserves to be swindled. In the second place, man, those are some ugly women.



• Key phrase in this story: "ypsipooper"



• They need this at all malls.



• We don't pay cops enough money. And what does this say about Amish women?

They are not in last place.

After 18 games, the Red Sox are in last place in the AL East but they are not in last place in the American League. Houston holds the honor of being in last place.

Good for Houston.

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Here are some links:

• Here's your Naked Guy In The News story.



• Key entry from our favorite police log: "10:12 a.m. A suspicious Fox Hill Drive man reported that the neighbor kids were out at 2 a.m. wandering around the neighborhood with a flashlight. He is unaware of the damage they may or may not have done."



• Only in California.



• Pretty damned inventive.



• Are they serious? $12,000.00 per pound for eels!?!? Are they gold eels?



• Looks like we are approaching Drunks on Lawnmowers season.

I blame John

Yesterday evening, around 6:00, John said, "Hey! Wanna go have a beer?" I said, "Sure but I'm not making a late night of it. I'm tired".

Next thing I know it's 10:00 and I'm still sitting at the bar with John, thinking to myself, "Tomorrow it's going to be a bad day to be me...."

Turns out I was right.

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Here is the finished driveway:

I like it.

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I found these links:

• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminal of the Day.



• And the winner of the Mom of the Year award is....



• Key phrase from our favorite police log: "10:08 a.m. A Somers man reported that a boat propeller and one cannon ball have gone missing from his front yard."

No more sinkhole.

The driveway guys managed to fill in and pave over the gate to hell in the middle of my driveway. We also have a place to park a third car off to the side so we no longer have to play the 6:30am shuffle the cars game.

Here's a picture that I took post-sinkhole but before the paving.

If you want your driveway paved, give Vinnie Pallotta a call at Louis Pallotta Paving. He did a great job for a good price and I recommend him.

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In the near future, the residents of Wilbraham will find a section in the local newspaper called "Meet the Candidates". I was asked to provide a 400-500 word paper that would explain to everyone what I bring to the job and what I believe in.

Hopefully I was able to get my points across without saying anything even slightly negative about anyone else. I have no intention of comparing myself to anyone or even mentioning the other candidates because this is a local race with people that I live with. To get into a comparative discussion means we are steps away from saying bad things about each other.

Personally, I don't see anything wrong with any of the other candidates. They all seem like decent folks and I'm pretty sure they are all qualified to a member of a three-person select board.

On the other hand, if any of them said anything bad about me, the gloves are off....

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Here are the links:

• Ain't she an attractive woman.... I think the throat tattoo really brings out her highlights.



• How did this happen? How did we end up with an airport named after Charles Schultz?



• This made me think of this.



• Watch the video. It's worth it.



• Welcome to Cleveland.

Time to rethink this.

How many more times are we going to see the sentence: "He was off his medication at the time..." before we decide that perhaps medicating lunatics and then tossing them out into society isn't the best approach.

What if Mr. OffHisMeds was carrying around, oh, I don't know, maybe a pressure cooker filled with gun powder?

What if Mr. OffHisMeds decides to go all Adam Lanza on some group of kids?

What if Mr. OffHisMeds starts hearing voices that tell him to drive his car into a bus stop filled with people who want nothing more than to get home after a hard day at work?

I get the concept of a mental illness being an illness and I want people to receive treatment for all illnesses but what I fail to understand is why mental illness, which is the only illness that causes someone to hurt other people, is treated like it is nothing more than a common cold?

"Take twice a day after meals..."

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If you ever want to feel good about yourself, run for office.

I've had more people come up to me and say, "You would make a pretty good selectman. You're pretty bright, you have common sense and you don't mince words or spew any bullsh!t."

I'm sure there are probably a whole bunch of people out there that are saying just the opposite behind my back but that really doesn't matter to me because they apperantly don't have the balls to say it to my face.

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Here are a few links:

• Thank goodness they pointed this out...



• Looks like Norway is giving Japan a run for it's money in the race to be the craziest people on earth.



• You gotta love the picture of the kid.



• I need to get one of these posters.



• Only in Florida.

Bit damp today.

They said it would start raining at noon but it started at 7:00. And it's still raining as I type this at 6:00 at night. So far my basement remains dry but if this keeps up, I'm gonna have to break out the wet/dry vac and do some sucking.

I hate sucking.

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Before I get to the links, I have two personal and heartfelt messages I need to send out.

First message:

Dear First Student bus driver in the right lane at Wilbraham and Parker on Monday morning:

Thank you for recognizing that you are a large bus that stops a lot and it would be best to let as many cars get past you in the left lane as possible. We all appreciate your thoughtfulness and consideration.

Thank You.

Sincerely, the guy who had a nice peaceful drive into work and got there in a reasonable amount of time.

Second message:

Dear First Student bus driver in the left lane at Wilbraham and Parker on Tuesday morning:

Piss off you pretentious little prick. By driving 20mph in the left lane, you managed to create a line of 20 cars behind you. And several of those cars contained drivers who were either experiencing a brain hemorrhage or a major case of road rage as they all tried to jockey for position. It was almost like a gigantic bumper car ride at Six Flags. Do yourself, and all of us a big favor, and get over into the right lane you ignorant putz!

F&%@ Off.

Sincerely, the guy who wanted nothing more than to get to work without being forced off the road by some raving lunatic who was so pissed off at you that if he had a gun, he would have opened fire on everyone around him.

These have been my personal and heartfelt messages to the school bus drivers of Springfield.

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The media didn't seem to get the reaction they wanted when they coined the phrase "assault rifle" and applied the label to every firearm that was colored black.

They also failed to get everyone all riled up when they coined the phrase "gun violence" and used it to replace the phrase "human violence" in every story that involved some a$$hole shooting someone else.

So now, in order to push us even further down the road towards gun control, they are now flat-out lying to us.

The Intratec 22 is a piece of crap semi-automatic pistol with the magazine in front of the trigger guard instead of in the handle. It is not a sub-machine gun. It has no full-auto capabilities. As a matter of fact, the gun is so poorly made that if you ever did manage to convert it to full-auto, it would probably fall apart in your hands after three or four rounds.

I really, really wish the media would stop lying to us and go back to providing only the facts.

I have such fond memories of our nation's great "age of reason" where Walter Cronkite or Harry Reasoner would lay out the facts of a story and a sensible man was allowed to be an adult and form his own opinions.

Those were such good times...

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Here's what I managed to scrape up for links today:

• Key phrase in this story: "Pyramid schemes are nothing new, nor are schemes that target a specific group..." Here in the United States, we call our pyramid scheme "Social Security"....



• I was not aware this was a problem over there. Then again, they are a society that simply tosses their dead into a river...



• "And no one heard at all. Not even the chair."



• Hey, I've seen some of the people on jury duty and trust me, I would rather be judged by my dog than some of them.

Looks like we are getting a new driveway soon.

Over the last few years, our driveway has been slowly dragged into the depths of hell. There is what I can only classify as a "sinkhole" forming in the middle of the driveway. I figure it's either because the contractor who built the house buried some tree stumps there and they finally rotted out or Armageddon has begun and Satan is trying to make his grand entrance.

I'm hoping it's the buried stump thing and not the gates of hell thing but either way, we need to get it fixed and repave the driveway.

My offspring and family will be glad to learn that we are having a standard sized driveway put in instead of the extra narrow driveway the previous owner had installed. That means that next winter, you won't have to step out of your car into a snowbank.

We are also having a parking area added to the side so that we don't have to play the 6:30am vehicle shuffle game every morning when the kids are home.

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Try these links out:

• This is probably not the best way to advertise your product but it's certainly eye-catching.



• This is ridiculous. No one in their right mind would ever buy a drumstick corsage. Now if they made a KFC Bowl corsage, that would be a totally different story....



• This is just another clear example of why we need to bring back insane asylums.



• What can possibly go wrong....

Not much to say.

It was a nap kind of day today so instead of reading news and stories and stuff, I found you this picture of Hendrix The Great Dane:

He seems kind of interesting...

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I found a couple of links for you:

• Even though she has two last names, Gayle Williams-Byers is my new favorite judge.



• Only in Florida.

Nice day ....

.... for a nap.

I didn't get home from New York until well after 2:30 am and I woke up at 6:30 am. I managed to get a few things done like thatching the lawn and touching up some places on the house where the paint is peeling but try as I might, I couldn't stay awake.

Around 4:00, I fell asleep and took a nice little 2 hour nap.

I hope I can sleep tonight....

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As for my trip to see the Yankees host the Red Sox, it was a hell of a good time.

We boarded a bus at 2:30, got to The Stadium around 6:15 or so and found our seats in the bar above center field. They are interesting seats because you can't really see very much. The glass wall is a dark black and it really cuts down on the light. That makes it hard to see the ball.

We took a lot of walks out into the stadium where it was a lot easier to watch the game.

Amazingly enough, the game didn't last 4 hours. It only lasted 3 hours and we were on the road headed home by 10:30.

Would I do it again? Absolutely.

Will I do it again in the near future? Nope. I need at least a year to recover.

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Try these links out for size:

• Headline of the month.



• Key entry from our favorite police log: "11:13 p.m. A delightfully intoxicated man called 911 to validate law enforcement in their services by stating that they are "very important" to him. He had no other emergency to report."



• Wait.... A dead sheep?



• Thank goodness we got ObamaCare now.

Busy day with an early posting.

All I have today is links:

• This sounds like it might not be the best place to take your new bride....



• Only in Florida.



• Key phrase in this story: "I felt like we should be treated better."

There are four...

The Democrats caucused yesterday evening and presented no candidates for Selectman. That means there are three independents: myself, Will Caruana & Susan Bunnell, and a Republican, Mary McCarthy, in the race.

Hopefully things go well and the town votes for a selectman who will do a good job for everyone.

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There was another big fire in Boston last night and fortunately no one was injured or killed. The BFD did, however, provide us with this humorous and interesting image of what happens to idiots...

Note the damage just forward of the rear tire. That was more than likely caused by the wrench used to open the hydrant.

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You might like these links:

• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminal of the Day.



• Just the regular kind...



• Key phrase in this story: "I am quite impressed with what he did."



• This could go a long way in explaining David Ortiz....



• Key phrase in this story: "When police asked Brian if he had done any drugs, his response was: 'I hope so.' "



• Only in Springfield.

Enough with the joyful reunions already....

The first video showing a soldier returning from deployment being met by his overjoyed dog was touching as hell and we all smiled when we saw it.

The second video showing a soldier returning from deployment being met by his overjoyed dog was nice and it reminded us of the love a dog has for his master.

The third video showing a soldier returning from deployment being met by his overjoyed dog was fun to watch.

The 4th, 5th, 16th, 43rd and 76th videos showing a soldier returning from deployment being met by his overjoyed dog were a bit much and it's time to stop showing them on the news.

Hell, my dog acts that way if I step out of the house, go to the shed and come back into the house after only 10 minutes....

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You might like these links:

• What the hell is going on? Who the hell does these kinds of things?



• Only in Florida.



• Key phrase in this story: "...admitted to have a methamphetamine glass pipe inside his anal cavity..."

Feeling much better today.

Not only did I sleep pretty good last night, I woke to find that the Red Sox managed to hold onto their lead and beat the Rangers.

And speaking of the Red Sox, those of you that know me know that I am not a big fan of David Ortiz. I know his teammates seem to like him but I can't help but wonder if maybe they are starting to tire of his constant "Hey, look at me! Look at how cool I am!" attitude.

I'm not concerned about the "don't take a picture of the team, let me take a selfie with you" incident at the White House because, let's face it, the President is no stranger to the whole "selfie" craze.

I'm not concerned about "the President being used to promote Samsung products" incident at the White House because, let's face it, the President is no stranger to using his office to promote companies.

No, I'm could care less about that.

What I care about is that the Red Sox are a team of 25 guys. Each one plays an integral part in winning games and I find it a little disheartening that the one guy who only does one thing (he hits, that's it) is the one that is getting all the attention and is being paid $16,000,000 a year.

Meanwhile, Daniel Nava is being paid $550,000 a year, plays every position they ask him to and is hitting the ball pretty damned well without so much as a peep of complaint.

When are they gonna have a Daniel Nava bobble-head night at Fenway?

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Here are some links:

• Since I don't want to sound prejudicial or racist, I'll let you draw your own conclusions about middle-eastern culture.



• Pfffttt.... Rednecks.....



• Only in Florida.

Not feeling all that great.

I woke up this morning feeling like maybe things weren't right.

Then, my body decided to purge itself....

Thankfully we have three bathrooms in our house and I was able to locate one quickly.

I think it might have been the two chicken pot pies I ate for dinner last night.

I probably shouldn't do that again.

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You can visit these links:

• Well this sucks. We need more people like him, not less. He was funny as hell.



• Key phrase in this story: "After a short pursuit inside of the home, the duck was captured by officers and released, unharmed."



• Only in Florida.

Who was the first person to eat a lobster?

Last night we had lobsters for dinner. My wife and daughter stopped at Big Y on their way home from a family event and bought several of the tasty crustaceans. They placed them on the counter in front of me and said, "Make these into a meal."

So I did....

My question, however, still stands: Who was the first person to pick up a cold, wet, bug-like creature with a shell harder than bone and claws that can break your fingers and say to themselves, "Oh my, but I bet that sure is a tasty morsel!"

That was a person who was either really hungry and could only find rocks, sand and lobsters or he was drunk and it was a bet with his drinking buddies.

I'm betting it was the drunken bet thing....

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In our front yard, spring has sprung....

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You can click on these if you would like:

• Actually, he's a pretty brilliant criminal.



• How come this never happens to me?



• Huh?

My back hurts.

I have a feeling that falling asleep in my recliner is causing me some back issues.

I should probably stop doing that.

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These links are all I could find:

• Pfffttt.... Rednecks.....



• Guys in action....



• Only in Canada.



• This is why I don't skydive.

And it's Friday....

This weekend marks the start of two four-day work weeks for me. On the 11th, I'll be going to Yankee Stadium to watch the Yankees play the Red Sox and the 18th is a holiday for us.

I think every week should be a four-day work week.

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Try these links:

• Where were these teachers when I was in school....



• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminal of the Week.



• Only in Florida.

Sometimes you're the bug, sometimes you're the windshield.

The Republican published my press release and picture last night.

Apparently the guys from Rock102, Bax and O'Brien, discovered the story and started talking about it on the radio this morning. Something to do with Bacon Day or something like that. I don't know because I have a job and I'm at work, well, you know, working when they are on the air.

So anyways, that means there are a lot of people that now know I am running for selectman.

Today, I am the windshield.

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You might like these:

• Only in Florida.



• Always use protection....



• If you're gonna get arrested for something, it probably shouldn't be this. (Also, only in Florida)



• Here's your Naked Guy In The News story.

Half a day off is batter than no day off

Half a vacation day is almost as good as a complete vacation day but nowhere near is good a vacation week.

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My friend Pat offered his mad photography skillz to take a picture of me for the newspapers. They asked for a picture of my smiling face and since I have an allergy to cameras, I don't have such a thing. I called Pat and he graciously offered to take my picture.

At least I think it was gracious...

So now I have a picture to send them to go along with that press release I sent them last week. That means they will probably publish soon and everyone will know that I am a candidate for selectman in the fine town of Wilbraham.

That's when the fun begins.

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Here are today's links:

• How mentally defective do you have to be to do something like this...



• She's a spoiled little brat and if I ever see her at Tommy's place, I'll tell her that.



• Key entry from our favorite police blotter: "9:34 a.m. A Kalispell man made a report about an irritating phone call from his daughter's mother's boyfriend."



• Every parent has, at one time or another, wanted to do this.

Sometimes busy is a good thing

Today was one of those days that seemed to fly by because I was so busy I didn't really have time to think about anything. The end result is that before I knew it, it was time to go home.

I actually kind of like these types of days.

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I have to submit a platform statement to the local paper. They are putting together a "Meet the Candidates" sometime in April so you will all get to read the political musings of your potential future selectman.

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These links might entertain you:

• Key phrase in this story: "Yep, poop."



• Key phrase in this story: "...parked out the front of his grandfather's house..."



• Key phrase in this story: "Sadly, tourists are not always respectful of the site."