Thus ends another year

I gotta admit, this was a fairly decent year for us if you don't count the youngest getting his tonsils removed.

Yes sir, we managed to make it through the year with little or no medical emergencies which for us is a miracle.  We also all managed to remain gainfully employed, which in this day & age is a pretty good feat.

Once again, I've managed to keep my 2014 New Years resolution which was to make no resolutions.

Hey, one should always set goals that are attainable.

*

FYI for you movie buffs, I watched a movie called R.I.P.D. which stands for Rest In Piece Department. It's actually pretty damned funny. You should check it out.

On the other hand, we also watched a movie called Oblivion. It sucked. Don't even bother renting it because that's two hours of my life I won't get back.

*

I hope you all have an interesting New Years eve and none of you over-celebrate. As for us, we'll be enjoying some Chinese food and falling asleep early.

*

Here are some links:

• Key phrase in this story: "...trying to fight with everyone inside..."



• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminal of the Month.



• A sardine?

I've lost my mind

My mother-in-law has had her new computer for less than 24 hours and we've already gotten two calls. I'm beginning to think I should have just let her go without a computer.

Why do I do these things....

*

Here are todays links:

• Only in Florida.



• Key phrase in this story: "...pen impression from Frey’s note..."



• In case you haven't made any plans yet, they are ready to go.

The computer is in it's new home.

I gave my mother-in-law her computer and she seems pretty happy. It's different thatn the one she had that was running XP but she'll figure it out.

And if she doesn't figure it out, oh well, no big deal. She only uses it to check her email, play spider solitaire and as an excuse to call me and ask questions that make no sense at all and cause me to have a stroke.

*

The Amtrak train known as The Vermonter used to run from Brattleboro, VT to Amherst and then to Palmer where it switched tracks and made it's way to Springfield.

Now it runs from Brattleboro, VT to Greenfield to Northampton and into Springfield.

I'm not sure that it's going to have any impact on local businesses in Greenfield or Northampton but the folks in those two town seem to think it certainly can't hurt.

Hopefully things work out okay for everyone and they take a look at running trains from Springfield out to Boston.

*

Links are here:

• Can you ebola people please stop traveling around.



• Only in Massachusetts.



• Why am I not shocked by anything that happens in Los Angeles.



• It's things like this that cause most people to assume every young black male has a gun.



• This is actually kinda funny.

Vista sucks

This re-install is going on it's second day and I've about had it.

I know that installing an old operating system means a lot of updates but I didn't think it would be 2 days worth of updates. And once you have all the updates in place, the machine runs like a dog.

But that's okay because it's for my mother-in-law and all she wants to do is check her email and play Spider Solitaire.

*

While I stare at the green install status bar, you can click on these links:

• Key phrase in this story: "If I could do tonight over again, I never would have done this."



• I'm sure they'll work things out.



• Only in Florida.

I'm making a mistake....

Did you ever do something that you knew was going to turn out to be a mistake but you still went ahead and did it? I'm doing that right now.

My mother-in-law had an old computer that was running Windows XP. When Microsoft stopped supporting XP, I told her she needed  to get a new computer because pretty soon, things were going to stop working. She said she would think about it.

That was almost a year ago.

During that year, my mother-in-law has called me to tell me that her email/banking/notes/pictures/etc... wasn't working and would I please take a look at it.

About two months ago, I started telling her no, I couldn't fix it.

That was when my wife pointed out that we had an old PC in our living room that we only used once a year to do our taxes on. Maybe I could do something with that for her mother.

So I took the old PC, put it in my basement, copied all the "stuff" off that we wanted to keep, formatted the drive and reloaded Windows Vista.

Now I'm going to bring it over to my mother-in-laws house and she is going to call me every few days with new questions because Windows Vista is just different enough from Windows XP that she won't know what to do.

This is a mistake....

*

Here are today's links:

• Only in Florida.



• Key phrase in this story: "Even those who don't drink say it gives them a reason to go downtown."



• Only in Florida.



• Contrast and compare.

And so it continues

Today was day three of our Christmas and it involved even more eating & celebrating.

I figure by the time January 1st rolls around, I'll have gained an extra 30 pounds on top of the 30 pounds I gained when I quit smoking a few years ago.

I think it might be time for me to think about losing some weight....

And just to be clear, that is not a resolution of any kind.

Those of you that know me know I only do one resolution every year. It is the same resolution every year: I resolve to not make any resolutions.

*

My youngest watched The Interview last night. His review and appraisal was, "Eh.... I guess it had a few laughs."

*

Here are some links you can visit:

• Key phrase in this story: "Jeremy Lewallen, 18, and his 42-year-old wife Carrie Carley" (Check out the mugshots....)



• I am going to live forever!



• Best name.



• When I was a kid, you never saw headlines that read, "The topless baby Jesus-stealing woman..."

Merry Christmas everyone.

While I sit here, digesting my pre-meal meal and watching "A Christmas Story", I thought I'd let you all know that so far our holidays are going very, very well.

I hope they are doing the same for you.

It's officially the Christmas season for me.

I am busy eating, drinking and generally enjoying myself.

You should be doing the same.

*

Here are some links:

• Also, beer drinking.



• Well there's your problem: It was alcohol-free eggnog...



• Key phrase in this story: "Police say a second person dressed as Superman was released."

Doors are done

I'm pretty damned please with the color match I managed to achieve. You are looking at a 60/40 mix of MinWax Colonial Maple and Special Walnut.

At least I think it's 60/40.

Too be honest with you, I have no idea what the ratio is. I just kinda poured one into the other, mixed it up and slapped it on.

There's a pretty good reason I'm not a chemist or a cook.....

*

So John and I spent some time enjoying ourselves at the Tap Room. I recommend it.

The Budweiser was perfectly prepared and served in the finest brown bottle available by a pleasant and attractive server.

Oh, and the food looked like it's pretty good too.

*

You might like these links:

• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminal of the Week.



• I'm thinking the fake chicken should give him away.



• How come Florida always gets all the cool things...



• So why would anyone want to watch it?

No post today.

I'm enjoying adult beverages with my friend John.

Catch you later.

I have been purposefully avoiding this.

But now it's time for me to vent...

A 6 foot tall, 250 pound thug named Michael "Big Mike" Brown, along with his friend Dorian Johnson, strong-armed a 5 foot, 140 pound business owner and walked out of his store with approximately 10 cheap cigars. Shortly after that, when confronted by police, Brown attacked Officer Wilson.

Brown attempted to disarm Officer Wilson and during the struggle, he was shot several times and he died.

Michael Brown isn't dead because he was a black male. If he were dead because he was a black male, his friend Johnson would be dead too. Brown is dead because he was a thug who tried to use his size to dominate and intimidate his fellow human beings. He was going to get what he wanted and screw everyone else.

-

A 6 foot tall, 250 pound hustler named Eric Garner was standing on the sidewalk in front of some stores, selling single cigarettes, also known as "loosies". The store owners called the police and, in keeping with the orders from the Mayor of New York, the police responded to Garners flagrant "quality of life" violation.

Garner was confronted and informed he was under arrest. He refused to cooperate and used his size to resist the officers who were attempting to subdue him and effect a legal arrest.

During the ensuing struggle, Garner was placed in a choke hold, forced to the ground and he went unconscious. He later died in the hospital.

Eric Garner is dead not because of a 10 second choke hold. He is dead because he wasn't paying the city/state of New York the cigarette tax they demand. You can bet the state isn't going to tolerate that type of behavior....

-

At no point did any of the police officers involved in either one of those situations do anything other than what they are asked to do every day.

They are asked to enforce the rules of our society, nothing more, nothing less. They are asked to step forward, step up and step in during situations that make most of us walk the other way.

Now two of those officers are dead, assassinated by a murderous monster who believed he was doing the right thing.

I'm not certain why that cowardly slimeball believed he needed to walk up and shoot two police officer without warning but I have a feeling he might have been listening to people like Al "I have a real big mouth" Sharpton.

Maybe it's time for someone to charge the reverend with inciting a riot or something like that because he sure seems to be causing more problems than middle-eastern terrorists.

*

Enough of that, here are some links:

• They got some old buildings in England.



• Best headline ever.



• It's the happiest time of the year.



• Here's a mug shot that only a mother could love.

The doors are stained

I put the second and final stain on the new doors today and once they dry, I'll give them a generous coating of polyurethane.

I gotta admit, the color isn't perfect but it's close. Real close.

I'm pretty sure I'll always notice the doors don't match the trim but it'll be close enough that I won't really care.

Hopefully my wife won't really care either...

*

Speaking of my wife: She spent the last few days baking lot's of stuff and today she announced that someone (meaning me) needs to start eating some of that stuff or we won't have any room left on our counter.

Guess I need to start snarfing down some of her world famous Christmas oatmeal cookies with raisins and walnuts.

Sucks to be me....

*

You can visit these web pages if you would like:

• Only in Florida.



• Key phrase in this story: "Beer is already known to enhance your perception of your dancing skills."



• Only in Florida.



• I wish they had these things when I was a kid.

Last full day

I will be working a half day on Monday just to finish up some things but man, I gotta tell ya, this has been the month from hell.

On most days, I leave home around 6:30 in the morning and arrive back home around 7:00 at night. In between, I spin like a top trying to juggle three or four different projects and problems during day.

I'd like to retire.

Soon....

*

Here are today's links:

• Yes, alcohol was involved.



• Maybe this explains why J.C. Penney is going out of business.



• Pffftttt.... Nerds....



• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminal of the Month.



• Only in Florida.

One more day.

Today was not a good day. John and I had planned to get together for some adult beverages but I'm so damned tired that I decided to pass. Hopefully once I'm out of work, we'll hook up and imbibe.

I really need to go on vacation....

*

Here is a link or three:

• Only in Florida. I love the miraculous recovery he has.



• Yes, alcohol was involved.



• The Zombie tit would be a great name for a 1990's porno/horror movie.

My days are freakin' nuts

Seems like things start to go to hell about 10 minutes after I log in and start reviewing my emails and reports. Today was no different. As soon as I started my email reader, I knew I was in a world of sh!t.

How's this for a subject line: "Audit deadline for removal of 1880 accounts - 12/31"

I love being handed something that normally takes one month to do and being told I only have 3 days to do it based on some arbitrary date established by someone who has no idea how to do what we do.

*

Here are some links:

• It's guys like this that cause the government to institute gun control. The man is a first class idiot and not only should he be prevented from owning guns, he should be locked up in a booby-hatch.



• I'm beginning to get the feeling that there is something very wrong with our society.



• If Holyoke City Councilor Rebecca Lisi ever decides to run for president, I'm voting for her.



• Can we just stop with this sh!t now and re-establish friendly relations? It's been more than 50 years since this bullsh!t was put in place and it's about time we got rid of it.

I'm trying to get everything done before I go on vacation

This is my last week of work during the year 2014 and I'm trying to do everything that everyone wants from me. It's a bit stressful and time-consuming which means I don't have a lot of time to read the news or search for links.

Sorry about that.

*

Here are some links you might like:

• Key phrase in this story: "Let me stop here and point out that the problem with present-day Fish and Game reports is that they don’t use enough words like belligerent, quarrelsome and odorous."



• This is bullsh!t. I can attest to the fact that I listen to my buddies for at least 2 or 3 hours, depending on how much beer is being consumed.



• Most appropriate bridge name ever.



• I want one of these.

Sorry

I managed to type something up today during my lunch but I forgot to send it out.

I promise I will remember to send it to myself tomorrow and post it so you can enjoy my wit.

Long day of staining doors.

In case you aren't aware of this fact, staining louvered doors is nothing short of a pain in the ass.

Just saying is all.

*

So the Patriots managed to clinch the AFC East title for the sixth year in a row.

The key line in this story is from Julian Edelman who, when asked about Brady and his running ability, said, "The slowest 17 yards I've ever seen in my life."

Still, not too shabby for a Brady.

*

So here's a question for you: How come this asshole is still alive?

Here we have a large, unarmed black man who is making every effort to assault both uniformed and off duty cops after he committed a crime yet they didn't shoot him. Why?

He should be either in the hospital or morgue because there is nothing he is doing that contributes to our society.

*

You might enjoy these two links:

• Only in Florida.



• Key entry from our favorite police log: "7:05 p.m. Things got weird at a party in Bigfork."

We got us a tree

We managed to go and get a Christmas tree today and it is currently sitting in our living room, dripping.

*

I am trying to mix up a stain for the new washroom doors that matches the existing trim and trust me, it ain't easy. Turns out that the "stain" on the trim isn't really a stain it's more of a stain-like paint and finding something that matches is almost impossible. That means I have to use actual stain and nothing comes close to the color I need.

I spent a few hours mixing and testing, mixing and testing until I finally found something that comes close enough.

So tomorrow, while my wife and daughter are decorating the Christmas tree, I'll be staining doors.

*

Try these links:

• Key phrase on this story: "the victim refused to cooperate and walked away."



• Only in Florida.



• Turns out the people of India are actually kind of insane.

Long Day = No Post

Not only was I awake at 4:00 this morning, my daughter got called into work at 4:30.

When I got home at 7:15 this evening, she was sound asleep on the couch.

And the way I feel right now, I'm thinking she's got the right idea.

Short Day = Short Post

I left work at 4:30 this afternoon and met up with Pat and Willie for some adult beverages. That pretty much makes this a short post.

*

Here are some links:

• It's the old, "It was the fish!" defense.



• I have nothing to add....



• Why would anyone want to touch that.

Short Day = Long Post

At least you would think that would be true but it really isn't.

Well, maybe it isn't.

Hell, I haven't finished typing the first line and I'm already predicting it will be a short post.

I should just probably just shut up and type....

*

So all the talking heads on the sports radio stations are up in arms over the fact that Jon Lester decided to sign with the Chicago Cubs.

Let me just say that I think Jon Lester is a pretty good pitcher and he gave the Red Sox several great years. But in 2014 he was traded by the Red Sox to the Athletics and then his contract ended at the end of the season. That made him a free agent.

That made him eligible to shop his particular skill to the 30 major league teams, including the Red Sox.

As it turns out, the Red Sox didn't come through with the best offer and now Lester is a Cubby and he is making a lot of money. Let me add some emphasis: He is making A LOT OF MONEY playing for them.

And good for him.

If the Red Sox really wanted him, they certainly could have offered him more money than the Cubs but they chose not to.

And that, my friends, is the end of that.

*

Here are today's links:

• Oh Canada.



• I love new stuff.



• Do not mess with Kay Kise.



• My childhood is slowly going away.



• I've been to Escondido. It's the kind of place where this stuff happens.



• I am not confused by curling.

Long Day = Short Post

Tomorrow is the day where we all get together and make a valiant attempt at deciphering the data and building roles.

That means we spent a lot of time today trying to clean said data and making it as shiny and sparkly as possible.

*

Here is a link or two:

• My Godfather, Joe, restored a 1941 Massey Fergusen. He also restored a 1961 International Harvester but the story if about a Massey, not a IH.



• Attention guys: This one is for you!



• Pffftttt.... Rednecks....

Reality television should be limited to sporting events.

I'm finding that the more reality television shows there are, the more strained our view of "reality" becomes.

For instance, there was a tv show on last night about some guy getting eaten by a snake.

Turns out that he never intended on getting eaten by a snake. Instead, he put on a heavy iron suit and let the snake give him a big hug.

Thank goodness I decided to watch football because if I were to spend two hours of my life watching a piece of crap show called "Eaten Alive", you can bet that I damned well better see someone get eaten alive. Hell, I better see them get eaten alive and then shat out the back end a few days later.

*

You can click on these links:

• Key phrase in this story: "Enter at your own risk."



• Key phrase in this story: "That’s the risk you take."



• Only in Massachusetts.



• Oh Canada.

Decorations are up

We finally decided what to do about Christmas decorations and I managed to get everything up in less than two hours. I realize that doesn't sound like a big deal but trust me, that is a major change from when we had little kids.

When our children were young, my wife had me slinging lights across the gutters, the railings, the bushes, the lampposts, etc... You name it, it had a light on it. Back in those days, it took me almost a day to get everything up.

And that doesn't begin to address the electrical overload that occurred on a regular basis. We had so many lights up that if you plugged in the toaster or the vacuum, you popped the breaker.

Life is a lot simpler now that my kids are adults.

*

You can enjoy these links:

• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminal of the Day.



• Oh Canada.



• Somebody is gonna lose their job.



• Key entry from our favorite police log: "10:07 a.m. An 'oversized' Chihuahua went missing from its home on Brunner Road in Columbia Falls. Apparently, there is a fat little dog at the shelter that fits the description of the missing Chihuahua."

Mr. Handy Guy.

The previous owner of our house considered himself a handy guy and trust me when I say, he was not handy at all. As a matter of fact, after 24 years, I'm still fixing things that he "fixed".

Today it was the louver doors that enclose the washer and dryer.

It appears that at some point, the style split from the top rail and Mr. Handy Guy decided to run glue into all the louvers. Then, rather than use clamps, I think he just kind of pushed things together and let it dry.

As a result, one of the doors was pretty screwed up. I ignored for 23 years but last year I decided to try and free up the louvers, remove the style and then re-glue everything correctly.

Turns out that after 23 years, the style was warped and as a result, the door was seriously out of whack. It was so out of whack that the style split open where the pivot that ties the door to the hardware is inserted.

Given that new doors cost about $200, we decided to simply replace them rather than try to repair the old ones. I went and bought some new doors and, after trimming 3/4 of an inch off the bottom, we now have new doors enclosing our washer and dryer.

Now all I have to do is find a stain that matches our existing woodwork.

Just call me Mr. The Real Handy Guy

*

Here are today's links:

• Only in Florida.



• Hey, it wasn't a burglary, it was a swap.

So much for that repair.

So I went back to the dealership and they checked things out with the tire pressure sensor. Originally, they found that the left front sensor was bad. They replaced that and it seemed to fix the problem.

At least it seemed to fix the problem for about a half hour....

As we were driving home, the idiot light came back on.

This meant going back to the dealership today to have them research the problem.

What they found is that the right front sensor is also bad.

That means scheduling another repair trip.

I love spending time in a dealership waiting room.

I guess I'll do this during my week off at the end of this month.

*

At 7:00 this morning, NASA re-entered the space business when they launched the Orion Crew Module into an orbit that reached a height of 3600 miles. The craft performed flawlessly and this means that NASA is now one step closer to returning to the business of deep space exploration.

Who knows, maybe I'll see a man land on the moon again in my lifetime.

Or even better, maybe I'll see a man land on Mars in my lifetime. That would be cool.

*

You can visit these links:

• Only in Florida.



• This is a great mugshot.



• Michael Fleet looks a lot like Rooster Cogburn.



• Yes, alcohol was involved.



• Here's your Naked Guy In The News story.

Long Day = Short Post

As promised, I am beyond busy.

Today was an offsite for half a day and then a full day with our contractor. That works out to 1.5 days in one day....

Enjoy your evening.

I'm hoping to deliver some nouns and verbs tomorrow, along with some links.

It was fixed for 30 minutes....

As I mentioned in a previous posting, we had to get my daughters car repaired. Turns out there was no problems with the transmission but she did need to have some bushings replaced. She also needed a new air pressure sensor in one of her wheels.

It is my humble opinion that the federal employee who dreamed up the legislation requiring that cars report tire pressure is the same federal idiot who came up with the legislation requiring those worthless, leaky, non-functional nozzles on gasoline cans.

Neither one of those ideas does anything except piss people off.

But that's not my point. My point is that the damned idiot light came on about 30 minutes after we picked the car up. That means either the sensor is bad or something else is wrong.

Guess I'm going back to the dealership on Friday.

*

Here are some links:

• My eldest posted this on his Facebook page. I thought it was pretty entertaining.



• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminals of the Week.



• Idiots are everywhere.



• Okay, this has got to be the dumbest study ever conducted....



• Yes, alcohol was involved.

No post, just pictures.

This is how he fell asleep:

*

Oh Christmas Tree,
Oh Christmas Tree...

Okay, I'm done. Enjoy your night.

This is going to be interesting

We have a contractor onsite with us for the next three weeks and we are going to be busy as hell during that time. My days are going to be long and my posts are probably going to be short.

*

Here are a few links:

• Only in Florida.



• Here's your Naked Guys In The News story.



• Only in Florida.



• Key phrase in this story: "I wish you all the success in the world, but I will never eat any of your product!"