Exactly how many copies of TurboTax do you think I need? I bought a copy from you a few weeks ago yet you continue sending me emails telling me I should check it out. Trust me, one copy of TurboTax is all I need to do my taxes. Unless of course you know of some super-secret Internal Revenue cheat code that is activated by using two copies of TurboTax at the same time. In that case, I'm all in.
Also, how many pairs of shoes do you think I want?
I bought one pair of shoes from you last year and ever since them you treat me like I'm Imelda Marcos.
Trust me, I don't have a giant closet devoted to my shoe collection. As a matter of fact, my shoe collection consists of a pair of loafers I wear to work, a pair of dress shoes I wear to funerals, a pair of boots I wear when it's snowing and a pair of sneakers I wear when I'm not at work, no one is dead or it's not snowing.
Please, stop with the emails asking me to buy things I've already bought. Try asking me to buy things I never even knew about. I'm betting you would get a lot more purchases if your email algorithm showed people things they never knew they needed.
Then again, I'm no marketing genius so what the hell do I know.
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Try these links out if you want:
- Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminal of the Week.
- This is why I don't like flying on windy days.
- Stay classy Phoenix. Stay classy....
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