I am a pizza connoisseur.

After 54 years of consuming every possible pizza sstyle and incarnation, including the 1960s rendition of Chef Boyardee pizza in a box, (aka "cardboard covered in ketchup") I feel qualified to declare myself a pizza connoisseur.

Basically, I know what I like and I know what I don't like:

• I am not a fan of the Chicago deep dish style pizza. That's not a pizza, it's a pizza casserole.
• I am not a fan of crispy crust. If I wanted my pizza on a Ritz cracker, I would make it that way.
• I am not a fan of sharp, tangy sauce. I like my sauce a little sweet with a nice tomato/basil flavor.
• Pizza should have either mozzarella, provolone or romano cheese. Or all of them. But only them. No other cheese is acceptable. And it should never, ever have any of that Faux-American cheese. You know the cheese I'm talking about - that oil-based yellow crap they put on top of those GodAwful english muffin "pizzas" they used to serve us at school.
• Pizza should have only meat and vegetables. No fruit. No fish. End of discussion.

Having said that, I can say that if you want a great pizza, go to either Pizza Shoppe in East Longmeadow or Rinaldis in Longmeadow. If you want to reasonable pizza, go to Papa Ginos. If you want something inexpensive to fill you up, go to Fresh Acres.

This has been your pizza connoisseur report.

You're welcome.

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