So with no further adieu', here is the beginning of a list of short, simple rules that adults should follow:
- Driving below the speed limit is just as annoying, and dangerous, as driving above the speed limit.
- If the sign says "No Dogs Allowed", it means all dogs, including your precious little rat-dog or your lovable, boisterous, uncontrollable yellow lab.
- If the sign says "12 items or less" and you show up with a carriage filled with 20 or 30 items, you deserve to be flogged.
- Someone went through a lot of time and expense to paint all those lines on the parking lot. If you don't park between the lines, your car should be towed to a junk yard in another city.
- If you want your constitutional rights to remain intact, don't fly on a commerical airline. Air travel is stressful enough as it is and having some moron ranting about constitutional rights while passing through security just makes it worse. It is in your best interest to shut up, get on the plane and sit down in your seat so that we can all get to where we want to be.
- When you are 20, you look good in spandex. When you are 50, you don't look good in spandex. Stop wearing it.
- Take a bath or shower and brush your teeth on a regular basis. Humans stink and no one wants to be standing next to you while you are emitting stink rays like Pepe' Le Pew.
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Links are here:
- 'Dick Palmer and the Spermcasting Barnacles' would be an outstanding name for a 1980's lounge band.
- The only thing I can say about this is, "Huh?"
- Yes, alcohol, as well as a fair amount of persistence, was involved.
- Here's a followup to Tuesdays A-Team story.
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