I'm world famous!

Back in August of 2013, as I was leaving my doctors office, I noticed a Google street view car driving down Boston Rd. I waved and kept walking but I thought to myself, "Self, I wonder if you just made it on Google Maps?"

Flash forward to Friday afternoon and one of my coworkers was looking at his house on Goggle street view, talking about the little girl in his driveway who was now famous because she was on Google street view. That was when I remembered that day in August.

Ladies and Gentlemen, presenting me.

*

Here are a few links:

• It's only a matter of time before they outlaw these things.



• Only in Florida.



• Ireland has a "Dumbest Criminal" contest and this guy is in the lead.



• Pfffttttt..... Hipsters.....

Not much to say today.

Today was one of those kinda long days and by the time I got home, I didn't really feel like typing a lot of drivle.

I think I'll just leave you with some links to ponder.

Or click on.

Or whatever turns you on:

• So I'm guessing there won't be a "Rock and Roll Part 3"....



• Here's one of the coolest things you're gonna see today.



• He sounds like a member of Congress: "Blah, blah.... Blah, blah, blah..."



• "Live Long and Pros... Gah! Ack!"



• You gotta love The Spaceman.

Plan B makes a pretty damned good burger.

They are expensive but they are most certainly good.

*

So the FCC finally got around to voting on whether or not the internet would remain non-competitive and neutral. Fortunately for us, they voted on neutrality.

The idea here is that the internet has a limited bandwidth. Only so much data can flow through it at any given time and some providers started talking about charging for that bandwidth. The concept was simple, if there is a bandwidth of 100 units and Netflix wants to provide it's users with a "better viewing experience", it would be able to buy 25 units, leaving 75 units for the rest of the world.

What net neutrality means is that the 100 units is not going to be divided up into units. It will remain at 100 and first come, first served is the way of the world. Netflix can't take 25% of the internet leaving the rest of us 25% slower.

Good for the FCC.

*

Here are some links:

• Looks to me like they blew up a 1/4 scale model made of old boats lashed together and covered with some plywood...



• Are they saying it's against the law to poop in Seattle?



• Only in Florida.



• This guy needs to be elected President. Even if he isn't a US citizen, we should still elect him President.

No party today.

Thank goodness for that because to be honest with you, I'm kinda partied out.

I need some rest.

*

Here are some links you might find enjoyable:

• I discovered that all my partying might actually be good for me.



• Key phrase in this story: "Thomas Standley, 28, is accused of assaulting his 92-year-old girlfriend, Memphis police said."



• Pfffttttt.... Arabs....



• This is probably going to end badly.

Another day, another party.

Man, this jet-setter lifestyle I'm leading is tough on an old guy like me.

*

Today is the first official day of Spring training.

Most of the players arrived well before today. The last one to show up at Jet Blue Park this morning was, and please don't be shocked by this, David Ortiz.

Is it just me or does Ortiz think he is better than the rest of the team? It's like he thinks he is above it all and the team is there to support him.

No sense showing up early to give the youngsters some of your sage advice and veteran wisdom....

*

And now it's time to fall asleep in front of my tv.

While I do that, you can visit these few links:

• Speaking of Spring Training: Let the games begin!



• It's the old 'Stolen Pants' defense.



• "An investigation has now been launched into the cause of the blast." Uhm, has anyone thought to ask Mr. Oppenheim what he had for dinner....

One retirement down party down, two or three to go.

This week I will be attending more than one or two retirement gatherings for friends.

Seems that a large number of my coworkers have reached that age where they decided that enough is enough and they are leaving work in droves.

Today was Chet. I've known Chet for 20+ years and we have always had a good laugh together. He didn't work in the same department I did but I got to know him because we are like-minded people and we spent a lot of time telling each other jokes or b!tching about something.

Tomorrow is Rich. He's another guy that I met about 10 years ago when he moved into my department. Nicest guy in the world who is incapable of saying no to anything that is asked of him. Once, about 4 years ago, my car was in a shop down in East Hartford, CT and he volunteered, without being asked, to drive me down there to pick it up.

Nicest guy in the world may be an overstatement but it's not much of an overstatement.

*

So anyways, my days are long so my posts are short.

Get over it....

*

Here are some links:

• Key phrase in this story: "...a solicitation that sounds like it could be something out of the Discovery Channel’s 'Dirty Jobs' program."



• Only in Florida.



• Who the hell comes up with this stuff.



• Trust me, the government is trying to figure out how to tax this...

It's nice to have headlights again

Last week I had the guys over at Wilbraham Tire work their magic on my extremely yellow and hazy headlights. I did this because one night a few weeks ago I pulled into my driveway and noticed that I go barely see the light from the headlights on my nice white garage door.

I figure if you can't see your headlights shining on a white door, you might as well not have headlights at all.

So anyways, for the bargain price of $70.00, my headlights are once again crystal clear and I can see things when I drive at night.

I am of the opinion that seeing things when you drive is probably a good idea.

*

Baseball teams are working out in the south and I am watching all the news reports about who might be traded for who, who is looking good and who is looking bad.

So far, no one is sure if the Red Sox are pursuing a trade with anyone for a pitching ace or if they really are done with moves and expect to have a wining team with the players they have.

Personally, I would not be shocked if at some point between now and June, a pitcher named Strasburg ends up playing for the Red Sox but that's just me.

*

Enjoy these links:

• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminal of the Day.



• Well, technically, he was unemployed.



• I picture this ending up in the hands of every weirdo, nutcase and pedophile.

Oh good, more snow.

Just what we need....

*

Not much going on today so I'll skip the prattle and get right to the links:

• When so-called reporters start using nonexistent words like "ginormous", it makes wonder about the state of today's media.



• Key phrase in this story: "Before you ask, yes, there is a bone in the polar bear’s penis."



• Mr. and Mrs. Piasecki must be so proud of little Lisa....



• Researchers: Contributing the the betterment of our society or a complete waste of perfectly good oxygen. We report, you decide.



• It's official. The Japanese have won the Craziest People On The Planet contest.

It's cold.

But it's a dry cold...

*

Pitchers and catchers officially reported for spring training today and that means it's time once again for me to start paying attention to baseball.

Over the next few weeks, NESN will air live coverage of the players working out and scrimmage games. They will also air interviews with analysts, coaches and experts but who cares about that.

Watching NESN to see two washed-up ball players talking about something meaningless is like buying a Playboy for it's in-depth articles.

No one does that....

*

While I contemplate the ice dams on my roof, you can click on these links:

• You need a license to drive a car, a license to own a dog and a license to get a gun but they'll let any a$$hole become a parent.



• Only in Florida.



• This is funny stuff.



• The winner of the Offspring Of The Year award is....

Does the President love the United States?

According to Rudi Giuliani, the President doesn't love America.

Now I'm not saying he's wrong and I'm not saying he's right but I am going to say this:
Disagreeing with the President is fine but disrespecting him is simply an indication that you lack any argument against his position.

Rudi Giuliani always had my respect and I always thought that he handled himself extremely well when he was mayor of New York but I can't say he's representing himself very well by saying things like that.

I suggest you back it off a notch there Rudi and don't lower yourself to the level of someone who spent all of his first term and most of his second term blaming everything that was wrong on President Bush.

*

NESN has announced their television coverage of spring training games:

Sunday, March 8	New York Mets (Port St. Lucie)	1:00 PM
Friday, March 13	New York Yankees	7:00 PM
Sunday, March 15	Philadelphia (Clearwater)	1:00 PM
Tuesday, March 17	Atlanta	1:00 PM
Saturday, March 21	Pittsburgh (Bradenton)	1:00 PM
Sunday, March 22	Philadelphia	1:00 PM
Sunday, March 29	Tampa Bay	1:00 PM
Monday, March 30	Minnesota	7:00 PM
Tuesday, March 31	Tampa Bay (Port Charlotte)	1:00 PM
Wednesday, April 1	Toronto	1:00 PM
Friday, April 3	Minnesota	1:00 PM

Now you know what I will doing and when I'll be doing it during the month of March....

*

Here are some links:

• We don't pay cops enough....



• Here's your Naked Guy In The News story.



• Key phrase in this story: "It's all about the looks."



• Only in Florida.

Let's try to keep this short...

My eldest turned 26 today.

That means I'm old.

*

I continue to work on figuring out my new phone. It's not difficult to figure out because as I've always said, Apple makes a very user-friendly product.

Also, I can't help but notice that since I've gotten this new phone, I haven't had to reboot it once.

*

So here are some links:

• Her mom and dad must be so proud...



• Pffftttt.... Religion.....



• Key phrase in this story: "Not having any antiseptic, he washed the wound with the gin, which he also drank to relieve his great pain."



• Best use of a drone ever.

Here's a shock: I've got something to say.

This news story kinda pisses me off.

I am not a liberal and I am not a conservative. I do not harbor deep-rooted beliefs about any particular subject. Instead, I try to apply common sense to my opinions and go from there.

Having said that, let me explain what pisses me off about that story.

I work at a company with 10,000 employees scattered around the world.

I work at the home office with 5,000 of those people and believe it or not, I see a large number of them every day. From a diversity perspective (I would like to say right now that I hate that word), the company has a pretty good representation of humanity.

Having said that, I can say with a certain amount of knowledge about people that we are all pretty much the same when it comes to life in general. To say that "All black people are on welfare" is a lie.

Of the hundreds and hundreds of people that I work with, I can say that we are all pretty much after the same thing - Give our families and ourselves the best life possible by working hard and earning a decent wage.

Yes, there are a lot of people, of all races, that are living off the public tit and it is those people that should be constantly evaluated.

If you look closely, you will see that most of those folks not only need the help, they deserve the help.

Where the problem comes in is the fact that the media has a strong desire to sensationalize every thing and they leap all over the story about the healthy 25 year old drug dealer with the 4 EBT cards but they never mention the millions of children who are eating two or three meals a day instead of begging for food on the streets of every major city.

It has been my experience that anyone willing to say that "All (insert race or religion of people you hate here) are (insert particular thing you think they are doing here)" is really nothing more than someone with limited common sense who fails to actually see the world around them.

Trust me when I say that my friend Willie is working just as hard as I am and his goal in life is the same as mine -  to make his wife Pat and his children as comfortable as possible.

It kind of pisses me off that someone would say he is not doing that when I've seen him do it every day for the last 25 or 30 years.

*

Anthony Castrovince is a writer over at MLB.COM and he sometimes makes statements that are well thought out.

In this article he addresses some of the interesting things about the upcoming spring training camps.

He talks about potential trades, last seasons statistics and recent surgeries to fix injuries but he also talks about Alex Rodriguez.

He makes one point regarding where Rodriguez will fit on the Yankee roster and what the Yankees may (or may not) do. He says, "No matter the outcome, the contract is an albatross, and that's the Yankees' doing. But the circus that will accompany A-Rod's every step is admittedly a media creation."

Having said that, I have to admit that I kinda threw up in my mouth a little bit when I read this.

*

You can click on these:

• Here's your Naked Guy In The News story.



• Dear family and friends: Please don't do this to me after I die.



• I only count eight.

I may have mentioned that I like 3-day weekends.

So aside from freezing my ass off every time I went outdoors today, nothing much is happening with me. The Dog and I spent the day watching bad television and napping, which in my opinion, is the perfect day.

*

They are saying we might get a little more snow tomorrow.

They are saying this with smiles on their faces.

They are a$$holes.

*

If you don't have an account on the Social Security website, you should.

It's worth creating one even if you just look up your earnings history and see that you are now paying more in federal taxes than you earned during the first three or four years of your working life...

*

Here are a few links:

• It's the old Fake Twin Brother defense.



• Dude...



• Only in California.

The excitement builds

In 5 days, on February 20, pitchers and catchers will report to spring training.

In 9 days, on February 24, the position players will report to spring training.

In 10 days, on February 25, the first full team workouts will take place.

On March 5, the Red Sox will take on the Twins for their first spring training game.

On April 5, the Cardinals will go to Chicago and play the Cubs on MLB Opening Day.

On Monday, April 6, @ 3:05 pm, I will be seated in front of a television to watch the Red Sox play the Phillies in Philadelphia.

I'm looking forward to baseball season as much as I'm looking forward to the end of snow season.

*

Here are a few links:

• Key phrase in this story: "...leads to 535 commanders-in-chief."



• You need to click on his mugshot to really get the whole experience.



• Only in Florida.

Yes, it's snowing.

Again.

*

I've gone over to the dark side and joined the Apple Collective because my old run-down droid was having more than a few problems. For instance, it would arbitrarily reboot itself periodically. It also refused to occasionally send text messages or make phone calls, which, when you think about it, is the only reason we own these things to begin with.

So anyways, after a few months of dealing with those problems, it came to a head on Thursday evening when my wife sent me a text and I tried to reply. The damned phone refused to send and when I rebooted it, it said it didn't have a SIM card.

I knew that to be a lie so I rebooted it again.

And again.

And again.

It finally recognized its SIM card because I think it sensed I was about to throw it out my car window and I was able to reply.

That was when my wife said that I needed a new phone and I kinda had to agree with her.

At 10:00 this morning, I went over to Verizon, checked out all the phones and decided on the iPhone6. The Droids all looked like they would do what I needed but to get one that was reasonably modern I would have to spend way more that I wanted.

The iPhone6 was reasonably priced, the screen was big enough for my old eyes and I figured it was time for me to become a member of the happy Apple family.

Since I'm now the owner of an Apple product, I feel as if I should grow a goatee, put on a black turtleneck & a scarf and start talking poorly about all the heathens/peasants and their "Microsoft WinBlows" computers.

*

So while I try and figure out this new phone, you can go visit these links:

• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminals of the Week,



• It might be time for me to start watching Family Feud again.



• If Judge Judy can get her own TV show then Judge John Hurley should get his own TV show.

Guess what happens in one week?

Pitchers and Catchers report for spring training in one week, that's what happens.

*

I ran some errands to run this evening and now I need to eat some dinner. I'm also planning on falling asleep early in front of my television set.

So let's just skip the pleasant banter and get right to the links:

• Finally. An honest member of the federal government.



• Why don't they do things like this in the U.S. Congress.

I am not a bazillionaire.

Despite my putting $5.00 into a pool with nine other folks and purchasing twenty five tickets, we did not win and I am still a hundredaire.

And that, my friends, is how my lottery playing usually goes.

*

Go ahead and click on these.

• Key phrase in this story: "let the strong wind of fish farming blow across the country."



• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminal of the Day.



• Wait a minute. When I was a kid, I was told by Mr. Owl that it only takes three licks to get to the center of Tootsie Pop.

I got some serious icicles.

There are dozens icicles, some of them 6 or 7 feet long, hanging off my roof.

Hope they don't fall and impale anyone...

*

This should not surprise anyone.

Some of the fallout of the current policies of the U.S. federal government is that the middle-class is being depleted and the upper-class is a club that is becoming more difficult to get into. In other words, the American Dream is going away for a large number of us.

The reason this is happening is simple. In order to bolster the financial security of the poor in this country, someone must pay for their needs and that someone is the middle-class. We are being tasked with supplementing the financial status of the poor via federal taxation and penalties.

The problem with those policies is that more and more individuals in the upper-class and some individuals within the middle-class are taking their money and moving out of the U.S.

This has resulted in what is perceived as tax-evasion by the government when in reality, it is simply tax-avoidance on the part of the people. The government, in order to overcome this so-called tax-evasion, has passed laws that require foreign banks to report on the value and interest earned by anyone holding a U.S. passport.

Now think about this for a minute. Let's assume you earned two million dollars over your life time and you diligently paid your taxes on those earnings. You managed to squirrel away a tidy nest egg during your working years and you now have a half a million dollars or more sitting in an interest bearing account.

You quickly realize that you cannot possibly hope to live the rest of your life on half a million dollars if every year, you have to give 10, 20 or even 35 percent of the interest to the federal government.

So being the smart, hard-working human being that you are, you look around a little bit and you quickly discover that Belize, a lovely little country near Mexico's Yucatan Peninsula, does not tax income generated by a pension and it has fairly low taxes for other forms of income.

This, you say to yourself, is perfect! I'll move to Belize, put my pension money into an interest-bearing account in the Belize Bank and live out the rest of my life in a tropical paradise.

The U.S. government, however, says, "Oh no you don't. You are a U.S. citizen so you must pay the vig. Even though you do not live in the US, your income is not generated in the US or held by any US institution and you derive no benefit from anything the US government does, you must still pay us!"

Your only solution to avoid this strong-arm tactic is to renounce your citizenship and become a citizen of your new home.

Hmmm... Let's see if I got this straight:

You can stay in the United States and watch your nest egg go away faster than a strippers g-string while living in a nation that is imposing more and more legislative restrictions on you.

Or....

You can live in a tropical paradise and keep all the money you slaved for your entire working life.

That, my friends, is what is driving more and more people to renounce their citizenship from what was once considered to be the greatest nation on earth.

There is no American Dream.

*

You can visit these links:

• Yes, alcohol was involved.



• Sexy Ancients would be a great name for a 1960's garage band.



• Key phrase in this story: "...we suspect he was under the influence of alcohol."



• Key phrase in this story: "A beaten Martinez fled the store..."



• Only in Walmart.



• This is why I only watch dumb TV.

Long Day = Short Post

Aside from my sore back and ass from shoveling/snowblowing, I also didn't get home until late this evening. That means you get no post.

And no links.

I've about had enough of the snow

We got another 8 inches or so.

I don't know about you, but I'm getting a little sick and tired of the snow. The Beast is having issues throwing the snow over the banks and I'm pretty sure some of the icicles on my house are 6 or 7 feet long.

*

Here are today's links:

• Wait.... Neil Armstrong carried a purse?



• She has the sexiest fantasies...



• Pfftttt.... They do this all the time on the Mass Pike.



• Are they saying this is wrong?

Are you "bracing"?

The media has found a new fad word. Whenever a new snow storm moves into the area, they say we are "bracing".

I don't know about you, but I'm not bracing.

There is no brace in my life.

I am completely braceless.

This is a brace-free zone.

What I am doing is wishing I had bought a new shovel or two. The old ones are those plastic ones with the metal strip.

As is always the case with those shovels after a few winters, the rivets have worn off in the center of the strip and it's bent downward away from the rest of the shovel. That means when I shovel, I only clear a four inch strip down to the driveway and leave a layer of snow on either side.

This flies in the face of the low-level OCD that I experience when clearing my driveway. I want it to be perfect.

*

Here are a couple of links:

• Only in Florida.



• Only at Walmart.

No snausages.

I managed to use my roof rake to get the snow off the ice dams. Then the wind kicked up.

That was when I decide dragging an extension ladder through the snow and climbing 25 feet up was a bad idea.

So no calcium chloride on the dams.

Hopefully I won't find water spots on my ceilings in the next few days.

*

You might like these links:

•  Key phrase in this story: "It appears that the Eady brothers were at the wrong house and picked the wrong homeowner to threaten."



• Only in Florida.



• This should come as no surprise to anyone.



• Key phrase in this story: "It was a deliverance from God."

Damn ice dams.

I looked up at my gutters this morning as I was leaving for work and noticed that ice was forming.

Lots of ice.

Lots of ice means lots of snow if causing melt to run down the roof to the eave and refreeze. This results in ice dams backing water up the roof until it finds a way to leak into my house and ruin my ceilings.

I hate ice dams.

So in order to combat this menace to the sanctity of my home, I have acquired some calcium chloride and cheap pantyhose. I will stuff the calcium chloride into the legs of the pantyhose and drape them over the ice dams and my gutters. This will effectively breech the dam and provide a way for the built up water to run off my roof.

My wife calls these pantyhose legs filled with calcium chloride "snausages".

I call them the best thing ever invented..

*

So now that you know how I will be spending my weekend, how about you visit these links:

• I'm betting this thing is in some frat boys dorm room being feed beer-soaked mice.



• Wait.... Is Florida accusing Texas of being crazy?



• Key phrase in this story: "...this isn't an isolated incident."



• Only in Florida. (And they call Texas crazy....)



• Yes, alcohol was involved. Also, where else, Florida.

What the hell?

I left work at 3:30 so I could go home, get changed and then meet my wife at the car mechanic so they could take care of her car tomorrow. It didn't quite go that way....

I got home to find that while we may have only gotten an inch at work, we got four inches here in town and they had plowed. And when I say plowed, I mean they widened the road by pushing 2 1/2 feet of snow into our driveways.

So I parked in the road, walked to my garage, got my snow blower and cleared my driveway.

Then I went to meet my wife at the mechanic.

*

The car is at the mechanic because while she was driving, the ABS light came on. That's never a good sign.

The mechanic thinks it might have something to do with the weather but he won't know until he looks at it,

I'm really hoping the ABS light doesn't turn out to one of those, "Well, it'll be a thousand dollars for the circuit board and another two hundred for labor..." things.

*

Here are some links:

• Much like the people of Massachusetts, the people of New Hampshire aren't able to drive in the snow either.



• I find myself thinking Boomer might be right.



• Best dog name ever: "Air Chief Marshal Foo Foo"



• Key phrase in this headline: "Art isn't their forte"



• I am not surprised that she was from Florida.

I'm tired.

I seem to be saying that a lot lately.

Maybe it's because I'm getting older and older every day or maybe it's because I wake up at 3:30 in the morning and sometimes, like this morning, I don't fall back to sleep.

*

So now I'm going to fall asleep and hopefully stay that way until, oh, I don't know, maybe 4:30 tomorrow morning.

While I'm doing that, you can click on some links:

• If I had known they did this kind of thing, I would have joined when I was a kid.



• We don't pay cops enough.



• Only in New York City.



• Only in Florida.

Not much to prattle on about today.

Turns out that the pigdogs known as isis burned that Jordanian pilot alive a month ago because they felt like it and the King of Jordan says that the prisoners being held by Jordan will now be executed, including the woman that isis wanted released.

Personally, if I were the King of Jordan, I would launch an air offensive against all territories held by isis and that air strike would include napalm.

Lots of napalm....

Burn them all.

*

Here are some links you can visit:

• Only in Florida.



• Wasn't this a sci-fi movie from the 1960s?



• Key phrase in this story: "Even the band stopped playing to allow more than 50 pub-goers to take in the show."

More snow, less football.

So now that the Patriots are the Superb Owl champions, football season has come to an end.

Also, it's still winter in New England which means, and I realize this may shock some of you, it's snowing again.

*

I opted to work from home today so I got to avoid being on the road with crazy drivers. It's nice working at a company that provides us with the ability to function at home just as if we were sitting in our office.

It's not a bad gig.

*

Well, time for me to give some thought to doing my driveway.

. . .

There, I've thought about it.

It's still snowing like hell out there and it looks like it's not going to stop until after 8:00 or 9:00 tonight. It makes no sense to go out and do it now only to find another 3 or 4 inches out there tomorrow morning.

Guess I'll wait until 9:00 and do it then.

*

Here are some links:

• I did not know this.



• Only in Florida.



• Series of Snatched Snacks would be a really good name for Scooby Doo episode.



• Only in Pennsylvania.



• Key phrase in this story from Florida: "I think that's just overkill."

It's time for the Superb Owl

I'm sure you, like me, will be watching that football game this evening and on Monday, many of you you, like me, will be talking about the commercials.

Because lets face it, we all remember the 1992 Pepsi commercial staring Cindy Crawford but none of us remember that the Redskins won that particular Super Bowl.

*

We managed to get our taxes done this afternoon and once again, our withholding was almost perfect so we don't owe anyone a sh!tload of money.

We ain't rich but we aren't going to get tossed into debtors prison.

*

You can click on these links after the Superb Owl:

• What is it with people pretending to be cops....



• It is my humble opinion that some women can be kinda psycho.



• Here's something I didn't really need to see.



• Looks like someone was getting ready to get snowed in for a few days....