What the hell is a caucus?

So I decided to see if I can figure out what the whole "Iowa caucus" thing is all about and this is what I found out:

Those people are crazy.

Turns out that the entire population of Iowa gets together in small groups in barns, churches, houses, general stores, outhouses, etc... and they talk about who they want to be president. Once they figure out who they want, they elect a "delegate" (or was it a delicate...) to represent them at the county level.

There are 99 counties so that means there are 99 "delegates". These people get together in places that I assume are not outhouses and say things to each other like, "My people want Hillary!" or "My people want Donald!" or "Your people are doody heads!" (They are very polite in Iowa).

After politely saying things to each other for a few hours, they vote to elect...

...more delegates.

Those delegates get to go to the national convention and say things like, "Mr Chairman! The great state of Iowa, flat and windy though it may be, is pleased and proud to say that we have all politely agreed to cast our six votes for (insert name here)! Also, we brought you some corn!"

At least, I think that's what happens.

Whatever it is that's happening, I do know that according to CNN, this is the most excitement that Iowans can have with their clothes on. Assuming of course they ever take their clothes off. These are some of the most seriously polite and reserved people on the planet.

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Here are some links you can click on:

• Sounds to me like some people in Maricopa County, AZ need to learn to shut up.



• Maybe he just needed to make a lot of phone calls all at once...



• The Boss of the Year award goes to...



• That's a lot of slaw....



• Key phrase in this story: "...out of an abundance of caution."



• Judge Dennis Curran is my newest hero.