When seconds count, the police are only minutes away.

She's alive because she had the ability to defend herself.

And that is all I have to say about that.

*

You can visit these links if you would like:

• "I needs a bambalance!!" And if you don't know what I mean by that, trust me, enter the word "bambalance" into Google. It'll be worth it.



• They're gonna need a sh*tload of melted butter.



• Key phrase in this story that would never be said by a woman: "I've got it in my pocket right now."



• Yes, alcohol was involved. Also, ecstasy and marijuana. Also, only in Florida....