Severe head jammage

During yesterdays cleaning event, my job was sweeping the garage and the basement. Sounds simple, right?

I must have swept up 50 pounds of cement dust along 60 years of detritus, sawdust, various hazard waste powders and God only knows what. I woke up this morning with a vicious headache and sinuses that felt like that 50 pounds of cement dust had solidified in them.

And for the record, I wore one of those paper filter masks.

Talk about a waste of time.

I would have been better off with a cloth tied across my face.

⧫

So know that I've gone through half a box of kleenex and 4 ibuprofen, I'm ready to watch some baseball.

While I do that, you can do these:

• Well, I guess that settles that.



• Key phrase in this story: "That’s the way he was raised, that stuff’s not yours, you don’t touch it."



• Only in Florida.



• Attention recent University of Auburn graduates.



• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminal of the Year.