Where is Don Novello when you need him...

The whole "Live from the Vatican: The Resignation of Pope Benedict" thing is all well and good if you're interested in that kind of thing but I gotta tell you, kids these days got it tough. When I was a kid, we had the great Don Novello on Saturday Night Live portraying his alter-ego, Father Guido Sarducci.

There was a guy who knew funny when he saw it. And if it wasn't really funny, he would figure out how to make it really funny.

For those of you who don't know who I'm talking about, let me give you these two quotes from Father Sarducci's website:

On The Last Supper:

It was actually a brunch. The check (discovered by Sarducci himself) reveals that one guy only had a soft-boiled egg and tea, while everyone else stuffed themselves. But when the bill was paid, it was divided equally. The moral: "In groups, always order the most expensive thing."

On The "Missing" Commandments:

There were actually more than ten, but Moses was old and grumpy, and after he broke the tablets he could only remember the negative ones. "Don't do this. Don't do that." The truth is, most of them were more like advice. The Twelfth Commandment, for example, was "Whistle while you work." (People think its from Disney, but Disney stole it from God.)

Trust me, if he was doing television today, we would all be laughing our asses off.

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Here are some links:

• Best White House petition ever. And by the way, if you'e never gone to the White House petitions web site, you really should visit it and see that we have a lot of crazies living amongst us....



• Welcome to Chicago where not only won't we let you have a gun, we're gonna teach your 5 year old how to have sex.



• It's the continuing story of the amazing "Florida Man"!!!



• It's looking like Crazy Hugo might be joining up with Krazy Kim any day now.