In case you're wondering, I didn't hit the lottery.

Despite the fact that I actually went and bought a ticket, I just can't seem to implement my "hit the lottery and retire" plan.

I don't understand. It's a simple plan:

1. Buy a lottery ticket.


2. Win the lottery.


3. Collect the winnings.


4. Retire in style on some nice Caribbean island.

So far, I haven't made it past step one.

*

You can visit these links:

• Only in Massachusetts (and New York).



• Attention offspring: When it comes time for you to pick my nursing home, please keep this one in mind.



• 23 years?