Happy Independence Day.

236 years and 11 months ago, fifty six guys wearing wool tights and powdered wigs in what was probably 90° temps, signed a document that said:

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

Have fun pursuing happiness but whatever you do, don't go near any sparklers. Our state government has made it clear that you are incapable of handling sparklers and they know what is best for you.

I guess you'll just have to celebrate by popping paper bags.

Oh, and the reason I say "236 years and 11 months ago" is because while they declared independence on July 4th, they didn't actually get together and sign the Declaration until August 2nd.

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Despite the fact that it was around 100° at the ballpark today, the Red Sox played baseball and they beat the Padres, taking the series 3-0.

I'm not sure how anyone can play baseball in this kind of weather. Every time the camera zoomed in on either a player or a fan in the stands, it looked like they had just climbed out of a swimming pool.

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You might want to click on these links while I go cook steaks and stuff:

• Uh, Honey? I gotta go to work but just so's you know, I caught some guy breakin' in this morning. I hog tied him and tossed him on the front lawn fer the cops to pick up. Bye!



• Boy, the drunks in Virginia Beach sure make it easy for the cops to catch them.