I woke up this morning in a swamp.

At 4:30, it was 69° and raining. I wasn't terribly uncomfortable but it was starting to get a little thick.

At 6:20, when I stepped out of my shower, it was 74° and it was pouring. I toweled off and remained wet. As a matter of fact, no matter how much I toweled off, I was still wet. It was almost as if someone was spritzing me with a spray bottle.

At 6:45, I stepped out of my damp house into a light steady rain. I brought the trash barrels to the end of my driveway and drove to work in my nice air conditioned car. By the time I arrived, I was dry and comfortable.

At 7:30, my wife sent me a text message that simply said, "AC on".

I love my wife.

I'm going to hate my electric bill but I love my wife.

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In case you haven't heard, some woman in England had a baby.

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Here are a few links that do not contain any information about England or babies:

• Here's your Naked Guys In The News story.



• Finally, a jihad we can all agree is necessary.



• And I thought football players were violent....



• Key phrase in this story: "I do not need to see any more mayonnaise enemas for the rest of my lifetime."