Happy End of February Day.

February has traditionally been the worst month of the year. It's usually the coldest and the "miserablist" (Yes, I know that's not a word. That's why I put it in quotes) but not so much this year. This year we had both winter and summer during February when we had 20+ inches of snow and then a stretch of 70°+ days.

Welcome to New England.

Our weather isn't like yours....

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Here are some links:

• Key phrase in this story: "It doesn't look like he's getting any kind of a message..."



• A pair of elevators???



• The booking photo makes this story all the better.



• If you only watch one Jesus video this year, make it this one.

At least one of my friends is out of the hospital.

My buddy Jimmy had knee replacement last Friday and he went home yesterday. He says the knee is stiff but not terrible. The therapist showed up today and said she was happy with the way things were going.

This is his second knee replacement and he said this one was a little more painful than the first. I told him he was 66 when he had the first one done and now he's 72. He is no spring chicken so things are going to be a little harder.

The guy may be slightly bionic ith his two fake knees but all things considered, he's doing pretty damned well.

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A little research tells me that my "new" table saw was manufactured back in 1965. Believe it or not, it was purchased from the Montgomery Ward catalog.

When I look at my old table saw and my "new" table saw, I wonder how I managed to cut anything at all on the old one.

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For the record, the Red Sox lost again today.

I'm hoping this doesn't become a habit...

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You can click on these links if you would like:

• Whatever makes you happy...



• Key bullshit title in this story: "...squirrel aficionado..."
  Maybe Ol' Bess and I should head on up there...



• I have a feeling alcohol may have been involved.



• Key mom phrase in this story: "Things began to click very quickly then."

Have I mentioned I love spring training?

NESN broadcast today's game against the Rays and it was a game of youngsters.

I love watching them play. They're hungry and they play hard.

The Red Sox lost, by the way but that's okay because it's the second game of spring training and players are still working out the kinks. Also, the coaches are using players that they invited to camp for the purpose of seeing hos they play. Those players may never make the team because they aren't ready yet but it's still fun to see them play.

For instance, the Rays had two players wearing uniform number 74 today.

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Click on these:

• Only in Florida.



• Maybe this is why Northampton cancelled the High Five Fridays program...



• Key made-up job title in this story: "Bigfoot Researcher"



• I'm pretty sure there is nothing traditional about this particular lederhosen outfit.



• Yes, alcohol was involved.



• The Washington Post is apparently claiming that they are the reason Donald Trump is now President.

The Table Saw of Death is being replaced

My wife's uncle is no longer using his table saw and it is now mine. It replaces a piece of machinery that would make Dexter proud.

My old table saw was a frankenstein of a machine put together by my father-in-law years ago. It's made entirely of raw iron ore and weighs a ton. The drive is an old 3-phase motor that is mounted on a piece of 2x8 that is in turn connected to the frame with hinges so it can be raised and lowered. The motor drives the saw with an old fan belt which is why it can be moved up and down to adjust the tension on the belt.

As for the saw, it's incapable of holding a set angle. It's almost impossible to get the blade 90° to the table surface and the guides are no where near 90° to the blade. also, the table itself measure 12" x 15" so balancing a large piece of wood on it requires some mad skilz. As a result, it's always a crap shoot when I cut a piece of wood and try to fit it into it's intended location.

The new saw, and I use the word new loosely, is at least made of steel and aluminum, has a 24"x 30" table, is fully adjustable and seems to hold it's settings pretty well.

Now that I'm no longer afraid I'll lose my thumb or fingers, maybe I'll be able to make some nice things for my house.

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The Red Sox managed to beat the Twins today and I managed to watch most of the game because NESN decided to carry it.

During the game, a friend of mine, a retired guy with lots of time on his hands, was texting me from Jet Blue Park. I asked him where he was sitting and he told me. I took a picture of my television screen and sent it to him.

He replied that he was behind the third baseman but he could see his wife is to his right in pink. You can see her between the Twins third baseman and the Red Sox runner.

We live in wonderful times where one guy in Florida can tell another guy who is 1,200 miles away in Massachusetts where he is sitting and the guy in Massachusetts can see him (kinda).

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Here are some links you might want to visit:

• Oh Canada.



• Only in Florida.



• Beer: Is there anything it can't do.

Giving money to the government.

The $8.00 we won the other day on the powerloserball was used to purchase eight megamillionsball tickets. That drawing was held last night.

For the record, we lost.

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I watched the Yankees play the Phillies on MLB this afternon because NESN decided that rerunning old "Sports Update" segments was more lucrative than covering the Mets / Red Sox game.

Between the shows where some NESN broadcaster talks to little kids, that crazy fishing show with Charlie Tuna and the never-ending stream of "The Life of Old Papi" documentaries, I'm amazed NESN is still in business.

Oh yea, I forgot. They are still in business because I'm pretty sure the Red Sox own them and when they pay the Red Sox for the broadcast rights, they are actually paying themselves. Then, when they sell commercial time during Red Sox games, the Red Sox are getting a piece of that action.

It's a win-win for the ownership. They make money hand-over-fist and the consumer gets a crappy product.

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Here's a couple of links you can click on:

• When the government takes away guns, people make other weapons.



• Here's your Naked Guy In The News story.

No, we did not win the powerball thing.

That's not entirely true. We did win $8.00 but once you split it 10 ways, that's 80¢ each.

I'm pretty sure that counts as not winning.

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The Red Sox managed to once again defeat the Northeastern Huskies in their traditional start to the spring training season.

Tomorrow they will take on the Mets and on Saturday they will play the Twins. I believe that Fridays Mets game will be carried by WEEI and Saturdays Twins game will be carried by NESN.

This is my favorite time of the sports year - this is when baseball starts.

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While I enjoy some dinner and bad television, you can click on these links:

• I'm moving to New Hampshire.



• Or maybe I'm moving to Sweden...



• Only in Florida.



• Also only in Florida.



• Cod Tongues?

Did you buy your Powerball ticket?

I'm in a pool with 8 or 10 other folks and the lump sum amount is $240+ million. If we hit and split it 10 ways, that's $24 million each. After taxes, it's probably $12 million each.

I'm pretty sure I can live quite comfortably for the rest of my life with $12 million...

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Now that I have a smart house, I find myself using my phone to turn lights on and off  just for the hell of it.

I realize that's kinda weird but what the hell, I still think it's cool.

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You might enjoy these:

• Turns out we're a little rural in this neck of the woods.



• I don't like margarita's. Now if they ever have a National Budweiser Day, I'm in on that.



• Key phrase in this story: "You may be high-end, but you’re not acting high-end."



• Radioactive Wild Boars would be a stellar name for 1990's punk band.



• I agree.

Squeezed in some flying

This morning was a nice clear windless day and that made it perfect for logging some flight time. Pat joined me and we made a flight up the center of the Quabbin to Keene, around Monadnock, over to Brattleboro and then down the Connecticut River to Northampton.

As we circled Monadnock, I took this picture of the mountain:

It was a nice day and I'm glad I was able to take advantage of it.

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I was also able to get my wireless light switches installed and now we can control the front porch light from anywhere in the world.

I don't know why but I think that's pretty cool.

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Here are a few links that you may want to visit:

• "I swear Chief, his face got all beat up when he fell out of a tree!"



• The Fix-A-Flat "doctor" is going to jail.



• Key phrase in this story: "...just missing his penis."



• You gotta love moms.

Much better start to the day

It was a nice quiet Presidents Day, or as I like to call it, Washington's Birthday. There was no breaking of anything which meant my day was going a lot better than yesterday.

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As for flying, looks like that's not going to happen this week. Thursday was looking like a possibility but I discovered I have an appointment that day that I can't miss.

Oh well, maybe next week.

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My friend Rich is still in the hospital although not in the ICU. They moved him to a regular room with the hopes that he would begin getting his strength back and then move to a rehabilitation facility. Unfortunately, the move to the rehab has not happened yet.

Seems that every time he thinks he's getting better, his body says, "Oh no you don't" and decides to have a new issue, forcing them to cancel the move. He was scheduled to go today but last night was another problem and they cancelled today's move.

I feel bad for the guy. He is a genuinely nice person who is not a "sit around and relax" guy. He is always on the go and filled with energy. Not so anymore. This cancer is sapping his strength and his life.

He deserves better and hopefully that comes soon.

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I found these for you:

• Oh Canada.



• They got a little snow in Maine.



• Only in Florida.



• Key phrase in this story: "Alcohol may be playing a little bit of a factor."



• How low do you have to be to rob a 100 year old guy.

Microwave turntable plates are expensive.

I started my day by dropping and smashing the glass turntable plate from one of our microwaves.

I'm not entirely sure what kind of glass those things are made of but when you drop one on a tile floor, it explodes into one or two large pieces and millions of little tiny pieces that go all over the kitchen.

After cleaning up all of the glass, I did a quick search on Amazon and found the exact one needed to replace it. With the free shipping from Prime, it only came to $32.00! Isn't that great!

If you can't tell, that's sarcasm.

Why does a glass plate cost $32.00? I mean, it's glass, right? For that price it should be hand-carved Waterford crystal.

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I need to go flying.

Soon.

The problem is the weather. It's either windier than I like, the cloud cover is too low or it's snowing. I don't want to fly in those conditions.

I'm hoping one day this week will turn out in my favor but based on what I'm seeing, hope is all I got.

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You should click on these links:

• He's a man with a plan. It's a stupid plan but a plan none-the-less.



• Only in Pennsylvania.



• Not the smartest career move...



• Did you know that Roman gladiators fought with dinosaurs?

Global warming is upon us.

It was almost 50° today and the easily-panicked weather dweebs are expecting it to remain like this for the next several days. The two feet of snow in my backyard has shrunk to the point where The Dog can walk the perimeter of his kingdom without dragging his junk in the snow.

This makes him happy.

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In Red Sox news, it's nice to see that Chris Sale has kept the sleeves on his jersey

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You can look at these if you like:

• Erin Lynch really likes her wine.



• Only in Florida.



• He's just a nature lover...



• It appears that there are some idiots in our world who are completely unaware of the fact that ATMs have cameras in them.



• Any use of them is improper. They are the dumbest idea I've ever seen.



• Pardon me comrade....

My smart house is getting smarter.

I ordered three light switches a few weeks ago and they arrived last night. The three switches consist of one master and two slaves (Yes, I know that is a politically incorrect thing to say. Get over it.) that I will use to replace the four-way monstrosity that controls our porch light.

Since I have to kill power to at least two, possibly three electrical circuits in the house while I do this, I'm going to wait until my wife is at work.

Once it's done, we will no longer come home to dark house nor will we have to fumble around trying to get my house key in the lock while standing on a dark porch.

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In other news, I managed to remove a high-end MasterLock trigger lock from a gun for which there was no key.

I did it with a screwdriver.

I did it with a screwdriver in under 15 seconds.

I did it with a screwdriver in under 15 seconds in a dimly lit room.

Trust me, if you own guns and you are using a trigger lock to secure them, you are failing miserably.

Don't fail miserably, get a gun safe.

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Here are some links that you could click on if you were so inclined:

• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminal of the Day.



• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminal of the Month.



• Only in Florida. And no, I don't think he can manipulate the stock market that way...



• It's the old, "Those aren't mine!" defense.

Some clarification

I had a seven paragraph posting about the H-1B visa program but since I actually want to find a job at some point in the future, I erased it.

What I do have is some information about the H-1B visa program:

If you haven't heard of the H1B visa, it's a visa that was designed to give companies the ability to temporarily bring skilled labor into the country if they were unable to find American workers with the needed skills.

In other words, if a company makes hip joints and they could not find anyone in this country with the skills needed to make the perfect hip joint, they could hire a hip joint maker from Canada and bring him or her into the United States with an H1B visa.

Unfortunately for the American worker, the H-1B visa has become a way for companies to bring cheap foreign workers into the country to replace American workers. They may be claiming that the foreign worker is "temporary" but the American worker has been permanently terminated.

They are using a government program to screw Americans workers and I think that sucks.

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Here are a some links:

• First the iron, now the thimble.



• Thirteen Pounds of Horse Genitals would be a great name for a 1950's Country Band.



• Only in Florida.



• I have always said that we, as a species, need to apologize to all other species for the 1970s...

And the games continue

I got a phone call the other day from a friend I used to work with. He asked me if I had some time to chat about his job and his feeling of impending doom.

We sat down and talked about what was going on and how he believed he was about to be let go. He is terrified because he is a young man with young children and a wife who does not work full time. In his case, if he loses his job, he not only loses his income, he also loses his health insurance.

The more people I talk to about my old employer the more I see the lack of humanity the current leadership over there has. I feel bad for the people that are working there because most of them go to work every day wondering if this is the day they are going to get canned.

Not a good way to feel about your livelihood.

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NESN is carrying a half hour of Red Sox spring training each day. It's not much but it's baseball.

I like it and it makes me happy.

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Here are some links you an enjoy:

• This is your brain. This is our brain on drugs. Any questions?



• Wasn't this an episode of The Dukes of Hazzard?



• Key phrase in this story: "We are looking into it, but it’s not something that’s readily apparent."



• Finally, something we can all agree on.



• It's things like this and those crazy home made submarines that explain why the war on drugs is a complete failure and a total waste of money.



• I'll bet he was walking in a funny manner...

Cancer is a terrible thing.

A friend of mine named Rich was diagnosed with leukemia a month ago and has been undergoing a tough regimen of chemotherapy. Turns out that the chemo has lowered his blood pressure to the point where he almost died. He was rushed to the hospital last week and has been there ever since.

Myself and another friend went down to visit with him for a bit today. He's been in the critical care facility for the last 8 days and today they are moving him to a regular room, or as I like to call it, "Gen Pop".

Suffice to say that Rich is not a spry young man and this disease is taking it's toll on him.

Those of you that know me know that I hate cancer with a passion and I am fully aware of how difficult it is to go through the treatment. I'm hoping that Rich fairs well and in another two or three weeks, we'll go see him at his house where he'll be more than happy to entertain us for more than 20 minutes.

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You can click on these if you want:

• I'm entirely unsure what to make of this.



• We paid some researchers $3,000,000.00 to ask people if their pee smelled funny. I, for one, want my money back.



• Only in Florida.

So much for the 8-12 prediction.

We ended up with 6 or 7 inches of snow but the damned snow banks at the end of our driveways were at least 24 inches high and hard like stone.

Fortunately, I have The Beast snowblower and it ate through them like a knife through butter.

Well, maybe like a cold knife through frozen butter.

My back is killing me....

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You might like these links. Or, you might not.

You decide...

• If you decide to send a message to your criminal cohorts, make sure you are sending to the right person.



• Key phrase in this story: "...he's almost killed his owners on more than one occasion..."



• And this is why people hate the pharmaceutical industry.

Not as bad as they thought

It's now 5:00 pm and so far we've gotten about 4 inches of snow. They originally thought we would have 6-10 but it looks like we won't see much more than 5. Then again, who knows. We might wake up to 8 inches by the time this is over with.

On the other hand, my sister down in North Carolina is reminding us that it's 80° down there.

She's nice that way.

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Here are today's links:

• We don't pay cops enough.



• Granny Pants Down the Loo would be a great name for a 1980s punk rock band.



• Only in Florida.



• Yes, alcohol was involved.



• Tattoos and boob jobs don't go well together.

More snow

We got about an inch last night and they are predicting another 4-8 inches tomorrow into Monday.

As much as I'd like to whine about this snow, I hate the drought we have even more. I think we are going to be grateful for all this snow come next summer because this snow pack will replenish the dry, rock-hard ground and slowly refill the reservoirs around here.

You see, when it rains, the dry, hard ground doesn't allow the water to seep in, it just pools on the surface and evaporates. Damp, moist soil allows the water to percolate through it and into the ground water. This ground water supplies the streams and, in turn, the reservoirs.

Maybe this summer when I take pictures of the Quabbin, you won't see the sand bars anymore, just that beautiful lake with it's rattle-snake invested islands.

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Before I leave you with today's links, let me give you the latest notice from NOAA for us folks here in good old Hampden county:

...WINTER STORM WARNING REMAINS IN EFFECT FROM 7 AM SUNDAY TO
7 PM EST MONDAY...

* LOCATIONS...include portions of Massachusetts along and south
  of the Mass Pike.

* ACCUMULATIONS...8 to 12 inches of snow.

* HAZARD TYPES...include moderate to heavy snow, as well as
  blowing snow.

* TIMING...Snow will move into the region tomorrow morning,
  perhaps starting as either rain or a wintry mix and continue
  into Monday, occasionally heavy at times.

* WINDS...North 15 to 25 mph with gusts up to 45 mph.

* VISIBILITIES...One quarter mile or less at times.

* IMPACTS...The heavy snow will make many roads impassable with
  low visibilities and may produce widespread power outages due to
  the weight of the snow on tree limbs and power lines.

Good luck everybody! I hope you have gas for your snowblower...

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You might want to visit these:

• Key judicial statement in this video: "Our parking enforcement officer are second to none in this country!".



• I wonder if my nephew was involved.



• Key phrase in this story: "...the 80-year-old wasn't aware of the hidden weapon..."

Quiet day today.

I managed to clean up some snow banks around my mailbox as well as the end of my driveway. The end of the driveway thing is because I like to have a spot for my barrels so the trash guys don't throw them in the snowbank or leave them in the road.

So now that the snow banks are done, I expect another storm to roll in over the weekend and mess things up for me.

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Here are some links for you to enjoy:

• This is either going to be great or funny as hell so I guess I'll watch one or two episodes.



• I call bullshit. I work with computers and I know how badly they can be programmed.



• Someone is gonna get reprimanded for this.



• Key phrase in this Florida story: "A grown adult having a temper tantrum about sex."



• Australia: Here kitty kitty kit... What the hell is that thing!?!?



• Gosh. I wonder how they recognized him...

Snow galore!

When I let The Dog out at 5:45 this morning, there was no sign of snow. No sign of snow at all.

Nothing. Zilch. Zero. Zip. Nada. Bupkiss.

I fed The Dog, poured some coffee, settled into my recliner, flipped on the news and listened to the easily-panicked talking heads explain that the snow was falling, it just wasn't reaching the ground. Then they showed a radar image that had a large blue/white blob over all of the area.

At 6:30, my wife came downstairs and asked if it was snowing. I said nope, nothing at all. She flipped on the back light and said, "I think I see a flake."

At 6:45, the snow suddenly hit. It was like a wall. One minute there was nothing and the next I could hardly see my neighbors house across the street.

So it snowed all day and we ended up with 17+ inches of snow. That makes me want to say, "Thank goodness for The Beast."

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Here are a few links for your enjoyment:

• Congratulations on your nuptials! I got you this bland, crappy pizza!



• Speaking of pizza...



• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminals of the Month.



• Apparently Louisiana does not have a "three strikes and you're out" law.



• Turns out that offer to split $64,000,000 with me if I gave them my bank account information was all a big scam.



• Yet another reason I won't get a tattoo.



• When your girlfriend asks how dinner is, you should always say, "It's great honey!"

We're gonna get between 2 and 12 inches of snow

Depending on who you listen to, we're going to get anywhere from 2 to 12 inches of snow tomorrow. Since these guys all get their weather from the same source, the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA), you would think they would all be saying the same thing.

You would be wrong.

They all like to put their own little spin on things.

One guy is "predicting" that the storm will track closer into the coast which means we'll get more snow. Another dweeb is predicting it will track farther out to sea which means we'll get less snow and still another is predicting it will slow down and maybe even stall a little bit which means we'll get some snow but maybe some rain too.

Personally, I like to go to the source.

According to the National Weather Service at NOAA, we are under the following winter storm warning:

...WINTER STORM WARNING NOW IN EFFECT FROM 4 AM TO 8 PM EST
THURSDAY...

* Locations...Interior Massachusetts and northern Connecticut.

* Hazard Types...Heavy snow.

* Accumulations...Snow accumulation of 7 to 14 inches.

* Timing...Snow will begin between 4 and 6 am Thursday morning.
  Snow will then fall heavy at times Thursday afternoon before
  tapering off to snow showers toward evening.

* Impacts...Hazardous travel due to snow covered roads and poor
  visibilities. Both the morning and afternoon rush hours will be
  impacted. Snowfall rates of 2 to 3 inches per hour will be
  possible at times along with some blowing and drifting snow.

No matter what happens, it's not good weather for flying.

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You can look at these links if you would like:

• Key phrase in this story from Florida: "...we believe in the presumption of innocence..."



• As is the US Congress...



• They keep using the word "men". I do not think it means what they think it means...



• Researchers: Contributing to the betterment of our society or a complete waste of perfectly good oxygen? We report, you decide.



• Please define the word "prolonged"...



• Bad choice! Bad choice!
  (Caution - there are some bad words in that video.)

I went out with friends

I enjoyed some time with a couple of friends this evening and that means no post tonight.

I do, however, have a link or two for you:

• Good job there Barack....



• Only in Florida.

Holy Crap!

I traded texts with several folks last night and a few of the decided that they couldn't watch anymore. They said they were calling it quits and going to bed.

Those people were foolish...

When that game started, no one, and I mean no one, imagined that four hours later, we would be seeing the first overtime period ever played in a SuperB owl.

No one imagined that we would watch a 39 year old quarterback drag his team back from a 19 point deficit in the fourth quarter by leading them downfield like Patton led the Seventh Army across Sicily.

No one imaged that we would hear Joe I'm a freaking idiot! Buck call Danny Amendola "Juliette Amendola".

No one imaged that we would see Roger Goodell run like a frightened little rabbit off the stage once he had handed the trophy to Robert Kraft.

We all imagined that the Patriots would win but none of us imagined it would happen the way it happened.

And for the record, the best commercial of the night contained the line, "Roger that!"

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So now that football season is over with, I get to look forward to baseball season. In 20 days, at 1:00pm, NESN will broadcast a spring training game between the Red Sox and the Twins.

I know it's only a spring training game but it's baseball and I hope to be watching it.

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I'm thinking stuffed portabella's sounds good for dinner.

While I make those, you should enjoy these:

• Remind me to not go to the Cheesecake Factory.



• Australia: Where things will try to kill you while you're driving.



• Tacos at 2:00am? I'm betting alcohol was involved.



• The new guy at our favorite police log is finally getting in the swing of things.



• Philadelphia: The City of Brotherly Love.



• Key phrase in this story: "It’s tough to verbalize when someone violates you personally."

Time for some football

The SuperB owl is on in a few minutes and I suspect that most of you will be either watching the game or watching Americas Funniest Videos.

For those of you that chose to watch the funny videos, good for you. Enjoy those moments of hilarity sent in by hillbillies everywhere.

For those of you that chose to watch the game, good for you. Enjoy those moments of hilarity of the Falcons getting their ass kicked by the Patriots.

Me? I'll be watching the game and probably yelling at my television. I don't pretend to have any special coaching skills when it comes to football because I only ever played it in neighborhood pickup games and I never coached it.

Turns out that since I never actually played it, I still have good knees and hips, unlike all my friends who played it in school. They're all walking around like crippled old men...

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While I enjoy some football, you can enjoy these links:

• Finally, a story about a reasonably intelligent criminal.



• Key phrase in this story: "Hand sanitizer gets rid of Sharpie."



• This is actually a pretty good obituary.

Soon my friends. Soon....

Pitchers and Catchers report in 9 days. The first spring training game is in 19 days.

For me, baseball is the greatest sport. I loved playing it and I love watching it. To this day, my fondest memory is the day we (Brian Quirk and myself) got our first baseball uniforms. We stood in the driveway wearing them while our moms took our picture.

When I was a dad of young children, I coached baseball for 9 or 10 years. It was a great time with my kids and I loved doing it.

Now-a-days, I look forward to seeing baseball being played so I always wait anxiously for the start of the season.

In the meantime, we've got the SuperB owl to watch.

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You can visit these links if you are so inclined:

• If this is true, the collective IQ of our species went up a good 10 or 12 points back in mid-2016.



• This is your brain. This is your brain on drugs. Any questions?



• Key phrase in this story: "...he would have passed if he hadn't mucked up right at the start."



• Don't shoplift from the Walmart in Orlando.



• Australia: Where even a walk along the beach can kill you.

He is afraid of the washing machine

Over the last few months, I've noticed that The Dog seems to have developed a fear of the washing machine.

Keep in mind that this washing machine is one of those fancy-shmancy high-efficient models and it seems to make a lot of interesting clicks, whirs and buzzes while it is sizing up the load and determining the right amount of water. It also seems to make some weird noises when it is autobalancing during the spin cycle.

I can only imagine what a dog, who has no concept of machinery, is thinking while all those alien noises are filtering out of the laundry room.

Still, it's not like he's never heard them before. It's just that lately, he gets very tense, his tail goes between his legs and he pins his ears back. Then he starts slinking around the house, staring in the direction of the laundry, until I invite him up on the couch with me. That's when he curls up with half of his 100 pound bulk in my lap, rests his head on my belly and proceeds to take a nice little nap.

He's getting old and I guess things bother him more than they used to.

And for the record, it bothers me that he is getting old.

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It's taco Friday here at The Daily News^© World Headquarters so while I'm browning hamburger and chopping lettuce, you can enjoy these links:

• Only in Florida.



• Also only in Florida.



• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminal of the Day.



• Youtube is less time consuming and a lot less expensive than college.



• Here's your Kinda Naked Guy In The News story.



• Remember when this kind of stuff used to be illegal?

What the hell is a sanctuary city?

I'm still trying to figure out what a sanctuary city is. Is it a place where only certain illegal activity is ignored or can you do anything there and the authorities will ignore it?

Inquiring minds want to know.

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Here are some links:

• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminal of the Day.



• Oops.



• Only in Florida.



• We all hate autocorrect.



• Everybody loves bacon.



• I've been to Vegas several times and I've never seen a rabbit.



• Isn't this treason?

I'm pretty sure I woke my neighbors this morning

At 5:30 this morning, I went outside, dragged The Beast out of the garage and proceeded to snowblow my driveway. While I was doing that, I noticed the lights come on across the street and thought to myself, "Huh. Guess I woke you up. Too bad."

These are the people that spent more than a few years partying like rockstars at 11:30 at night while my kids were trying to get some sleep so they could go to school the next day. These are people that invited dozens of their friends over and had them park on the street, blocking driveways and mailboxes so no one else could use the street.

These are people that have no consideration for anyone else in the neighborhood so I guess they should expect a little karma every once in a while.

And it turns out I'm just the guy to help karma along...

⧫

It took me some time to find these links, you should click on them:

• Key phrase in this story: "Mom, I just got blown up."



• You gotta love Bill Burr.