I have an idea.

 During the republican national convention the ongoing theme and catch phrase seemed to be "We Built It".

This was a cheap shot at a single sentence uttered by President Obama during a speech he gave recently where he said, "You didn't build it".

While I am no supporter of the democrats and their party ideology, I am a supporter of the truth. The line "you didn't build it" was not in reference to business. It was in reference to the municipal infrastructure that helps businesses get built. Things like roads, fire departments, utilities, public transportation, etc...

But that's not what I came here to tell you. No sir, it's not what I came here to tell you at all.

What I came here to tell you is that I have an idea for the democrats for a slogan they can use during their upcoming convention. They have been using a form of this slogan since 2008 and it would fit perfectly into the upcoming convention.

I think the democrats convention saying should be, "It's not our fault".

That's right, the thing that President Obama has been saying since he took office more than three years ago is the thing that the democrats should use as their catchphrase.

I think that would make a great convention catch phrase for the democrats. It has all the hallmarks of a classic catchphrase - it's short, it's simple and it conveys a message. It ranks right up there with "I'll be back" and "Do ya feel lucky punk? Well, do ya?"

It's also a lie but that doesn't matter to politicians. They are wired to lie. They lie all the time. The old saying, "How do you tell when a politican is lying? His lips move!" is true and I can't imagine they're going to stop now.

*

Here are todays links:

• Key phrase in this story: "It's something I designed by cutting lobster trap into pieces and then attaching them to one of my suits."



• Oops.



• Only in Florida.



• Key phrase in this story: "...his mum thought it was funny."



• Only in the state that brought us "snookie".

Hey, guess what? A hurricane blew into New Orleans!

If the people of New Orleans expect me to feel any sympathy for them, they are sadly mistaken. What part of, "There is a hurricane coming right towards you and you live in a city that is below sea level" are they not understanding.

And the first time NBC interviews some slack-jawed, mouth-breather who says, "The gubmint dint do nothin fo us. Day jess lef us here!" I'm going to call the president of the company and tell him he's an asshole.

*

Well, the republicans have made it official and pronounced Willard as their main man. It is, in my opinion, an interesting choice and I really don't think he can beat Obama.

Then again, I didn't think Jimmy Carter could beat Gerald Ford.

*

You can visit these links if you would like:

• Oops.



• Key phrase in this story: "After saying he was 101, Carter gave his birthdate as Sept. 5, 1911, making him only 100."



• Only in Florida.



• Key phrase in this story: "Ten other cops came running out and we arrested probably the dumbest criminal in Pennsylvania."



• She should've pulled the trigger after he threw the baby on the floor.

I got a trade idea for the Red Sox

 I'm wondering who the Red Sox can trade to get Heidi Watney back....

*

Traffic alert for the metropolis of Wilbraham:

Rumor has it that the last place you want to be at 7:00 in the morning is anywhere near Minnechaug. With only one entrance and buses that need to first drop off the high school kids and then leave to drop off the grade school kids at Mile Tree, I hear it's a real traffic nightmare.

Add to that all of the parents driving their kids to school, the juniors and seniors that drive themselves and those narrow country roads must sieze up like the arteries of a 60 year old guy who eats raw cholesteral that's been deep-fried in hot transfat.

This has been your traffic alert for the big city of Wilbraham.

*

You can visit these links if you want:

• Yes, alcohol was involved.



• Here's a headline you don't usually see.



• Only in Florida.

I done went and got my teefs all fixed up real good.

I spent an hour and a half in the dentist chair today while he repaired a tooth that I cracked a few weeks ago. While I hate going to the dentist, I really hate having a cracked tooth.

So anyways, that's not what I came here to tell you.

What I really wanted to tell you is that it's been 5 hours since I had the work done and I still have no feeling on the right side of my face. As soon as the novocain gets around to wearing off, I'm pretty sure I'll discover that I bit the hell out of the inside of my cheek.

*

Here are todays links:

• All I can think of when I read this is Dave Hester yelling, "YUUUP!"



• Here's your Naked Guy in the News story.



• Some of these are a riot.



• Just in case you wanted to know.

Yes, I'm back at work....

My work day started at 5:20 this morning when my phone rang and I was introduced to a major issue that effected numerous production jobs. Fortunately I was able to come up with a quick band-aid of a fix but the cause still eludes us. It'll probably take us several days to determine which one of the hundreds of moving parts failed and apply a fix that works correctly.

All that aside, it was a reasonably busy day that made me really want to think about taking more vacation time.

*

I'm kind of glad I'm not registered to vote in East Longmeadow. Their government is looking more corrupt than the Massachusetts government but slightly less corrupt than the old Soviet Union.

*

Since I'm fresh back to work, it was kind of a long day. That means I want to keep this short.

Here are a few links you can enjoy:

• Key phrase in this story about the religion of peace: "Afghanistan remains one of the worst places on earth to be a woman."



• If your going to dress like that, why even bother going to the beach. Just fill your bathtub with water and splash around.



• That poor baby. He doesn't stand a chance.

Really Long Day

Today was the day we took my daughter back to school and as you know, that consists of at least a seven hour drive. Add to it the fact that we stopped on our way home to drop some items off with my youngest and you now know that I spent my entire day driving and hauling.

Fortunately, my daughter resides on the second floor so we only have to go up one flight of stairs. Plus, her school doesn't mind if we park on the lawn right in front of the dorm.

I like a college that doesn't mind if I park on the lawn.

*

I managed to find you a link:

• Only in Florida.

The vacation may be over but the weekend is here!

Wow. I guess they really did want to clean house.

I have absolutely no complaints about this trade. I always hated Beckett, Crawford was never worth the money and Punto is a decent player but he's no superstar. The only reason they traded Gonzalez is because he was the one guy the Dodgers really wanted.

In other words, they had to give them Gonzalez in order to get rid of Beckett and Crawford. Punto was just a deal sweetener.

I can't wait to see what happens with this evenings lineup. I'd like to see them bring up some of the youngsters from Pawtucket and give them some playing time.

*

The Dog is no longer loopy. He's back to his normal goofy self.

Now that the drugs have worn off (they give him some of that Micheal Jackson Juice), he is bright eyed and functional. His leg, however, is pretty bad. He looks like he has a palsy or something because not only can he not put any weight on it, he can't move it in the correct direction. We're really hoping the upcoming surgery will take care of him.

We have two reasons to go with the surgery. 1) He is young and 2) He is the best dog ever.

*

Here are some links for you to visit:

• I hope that they tell his fellow inmates about how he hid behind a baby.



• Only in Florida.



• Never fly Pakistan Airways.



• I suppose this is one way to beat a subpena.

Day Five of vacation.

This is the final day of my vacation. It's back to work for me on Monday.

Damn.

*

We will be taking my daughter back to school on Sunday so that she can start her third year. Her classes start on Monday and she's already gotten an email from her boss (she works at the college in the science lab) asking if she is available on Monday afternoon.

Sounds like she is going to have a busy semester.

As for my youngest, we've heard form him a few times since he went off to school on Wednesday. He keeps saying things like ,"It's awesome here" so I guess he is settling in pretty well. Classes start on Monday for him as well and he's looking forward to it.

My eldest is home with us for six weeks while he is conducting a rotation out in Westfield. This is his third of six rotations and so far he seems to be enjoying them.

I am, as always, the proud dad.

*

My Dog is loopy.

In anticipation of his upcoming surgery to repair his torn ACL, he went in today to be sedated and have some x-rays taken. They needed to sedate him so they could manipulate his damaged leg for the x-rays.

When I picked him up, he was high as a kite and he stayed that way throughout the afternoon and evening. I felt bad for him but it was funny as hell watching him try to walk.

*

Here are some links that you can click on while I watch the Red Sox do something resembling baseball:

• This is why you never give your kid a new car.



• I think the Red Sox should hire Wally Backman.

Day Four of vacation

The Boston Red Sox are now eight and a half games out of the wild card race.

For those of you that follow baseball, you know that being 8.5 games behind the wild card is a very bad thing. Basically, they don't stand a chance to be playing baseball in October but I'll still watch them because I'm still a fan.

Remember, I lived through the Red Sox of the 60s, 70s, 80s and 90s, I'm kind of used to a losing team.

*

Here are some links you might find interesting:

• Only in Florida.



• Only in Pennsylvania (I have relatives in Beaver County...)



• It's been a while since we visited our favorite police log where, "Someone on East Village Drive in Bigfork saw a red dog with a square head."

Day Three of vacation

My youngest offspring is now happily wandering around his new environment.

He's at Keene State College in Keene, NH and the campus is located close enough to downtown to make it easy to get to but far enough away so it's kinda suburban. The surrounding area is filled with small stores and restaurants and we were all in our glory when we found that there was a Five Guys about a mile away from his dorm.

The roommates seem pretty nice but only time will tell if they all get along. I know that my son is fairly easy-going and the one roommate we met seems like a go-along, get-along kind of guy.

*

Since I spent my day moving a college kid and I plan on spending my evening watching the Red Sox, I didn't have a lot of time to surf the internets.

Here are some links that I managed to find:

• Mom of the Year.



• I found a two-fer for ya: Brilliant Criminal of the Week and Only in Florida.



• Key phrase in this story: "The once-dignified portrait now resembles a crayon sketch of a very hairy monkey in an ill-fitting tunic."



• First we got drunk on lawnmowers. Then we got drunks on bulldozers. Now we got drunks on picnic tables.



• Sometimes, I think the french ain't too bright.

Day Two of vacation

John has accused me of being a vacation bum and he's right. I am a vacation bum.

Today, I had to go in for a meeting so I actually only took a half day. This afternoon, I made up for it by taking a nap.

I like naps. Naps are good.

*

My youngest son will be heading off to college tomorrow morning. He is both excited and nervous, which is pretty normal considering that he's about to enter a new phase in his life.

As with his older brother and sister, I have nothing but full faith and confidence in his ability to become a functional and productive member of our society.

And, as with his older brother and sister, what I don't know won't hurt me....

*

Here are todays links:

• Chris says, "Here's your Naked Guy in the News story."



•  This is your brain. This is your brain on drugs.



• Attention ladies....



• Only in our nations capital.

Day one of vacation.

After only one day of vacation, I can say without reservation that daytime television sucks.

*

My lawn is mowed and I've begun the process of pulling out the crab grass. Trust me, I have a lot of crab grass but the most effective way I've found to eliminate it is simply pulling it out of the ground and throwing it away.

If someone has a better way, let me know because the pulling it out of the ground way is a pain in the ass.

*

Here are some links:

• How come these kinds of things never happen to me.



• I gotta be honest with you, I never understood her humor.



• Some guys just don't know how to retire.

Hey Willard! Ask the damned question.

At some point between now and the November election, I would think that Willard "Don't you wish you had hair like me!" Romney would ask the question, "Are you better off now than you were four years ago?"

If he doesn't ask that one question, he deserves to lose this election.

*

Speaking of questions, I've got one for you:

If I see my neighbor mowing his lawn on his lawn tractor and he has his 5 year old son sitting on his lap, should I call the cops and report him for child endangerment or should I get my video camera out and be prepared to film the carnage that will result if his kid falls off his lap?

*

Feel free to click on these links:

• Thank goodness it wasn't Budweiser.



• The person who created these signs was never a male high school student.



• This one is a three-fer: Naked Guy in the News, alcohol is involved and Researchers, blah, blah...

We must be coming up on an election.

Looks like President Obama doesn't want the public pissed off about the price of gasoline.

Isn't it amazing what a "green, environmentally-oriented" president will do when election time rolls around....

*

My neighbors are probably getting a little pissed off at me. I haven't mowed my lawn in over three weeks and it's pretty overgrown.

There is, however, a method to my madness. Since my lawn has not been cut, it has partially returned to a green appearance. Yes, there are still some dead spots but overall, it looks green because it's long and wet.

I suppose I should cut it this week while I'm on vacation. Maybe I'll do it tomorrow. Or not. We'll have to see how I feel.

Besides, some of my neighbors are kind of a pain in the ass so if they are pissed off about my lawn, good.

*

Miracle Alert:

The Red Sox beat the Yankees this afternoon.

This has been your miracle alert.

*

You can click on these links:

• I was going to ask if the Iranians ever think before they speak but then I remember that crazy almondjeanniehead is in charge over there.



• I love the reader comment: "Uh oh, Kristen, you really did it now! Expect more probation on top of your current probation on top of your older probation."



• The Japanese are crazy. Funny, but crazy.

If it's not one thing, it's another.

If anyone wants to know how much it costs to repair a torn ACL on a dog, just ask me.

*

Before I forget to mention it, I am now officially on vacation.

*

So Romney and Obama are taking cheap shots at each other like they were 6 year old boys on a school playground. I keep waiting for one of them to say, "I'm rubber, you're glue. Whatever you say bounces of me and sticks to you!"

And the more I think about it, that's probably an insult to 6 year old boys everywhere because even at the age of 6, most boys realize that insults and name-calling just make you look like an idiot.

*

The old router that I had in my basement may not be able to route anymore but it can certainly WiFi.

Now that the new router is handling the family data needs, I took the old router, turned off the routing part and turned on the radio. It is replacing an old 802.11b access point I've had running there for years.

The upside? I now get 20mbps download on my laptop instead of the 5mbps the old WAP was delivering.

I like technology and I like recycling.

*

Here are some links that you might find interesting:

• I've had the pleasure of gong inside of chicken coops so my first question is, "Who cleans up after 500 canaries?" and my second question, "What do 500 canaries smell like?"



• First we got drunks on lawnmowers and now we got drunks on bulldozers.



• Yes, alcohol was involved.



• This kind of thing happen all the time in the Florida Keys.

My dog is in puppy nirvana.

Now that everyone is home, he just wanders from person to person getting petted and scratched. As soon as one of us tires of petting him, he simply goes over to someone else and they pick up right where the first left off.

Sometimes I wish I were my dog.

*

Got these links for you:

• We're apparently recycling our military hardware.



• This does not look easy.

Lets just call it a day.

 I have things to do and places to be so I think we'll just call it a day.

*

The Red Sox are still in full suck mode and now it appears that they are slowly eating themselves alive. I figure that eventually, the team is going to degenerate into full-on fist fights in the dugout.

My money is on Pedroia.

*

I found these for you:

• Brilliant!



• Attention Loch Ness Monster hunters: For less than $1,000.00, you can buy a very nice camera and a powerful lens that will allow you to take pictures that actually depict the creature you are photographing. The same advice applies to all you Big Foot hunters as well.



• Key phrase in this 'Only in Florida' story: "...he allegedly was looking at another woman’s behind."

Yes, I know this is getting old

The problem, in a nutshell, is I have a lot to do and not a lot of time to find interesting stuff on the interwebs.

Since I'm on vacation next week, I'm hoping that I'll actually find things for you to read about.

*

In the meantime, here are a couple of links:

• Oops.



• Someone in Spokane, Washington has a lot of time on their hands.

Once again, not much to say.

Just work with me here....

*

You can click on these links if you would like:

• They spend billions of our tax dollars to protect the airports and all it takes is one guy in a Speedo to prove it's all worthless.



• Number seven.



• The Pine Plains Rabid Beaver would be a great name for an all-girl hillbilly band.



• Only in Florida.

One home, two to go.

My eldest offspring is with us for the next six weeks while he completes the third of his six internships. When his brother and sister return on Wednesday from Florida, we will once again have a full house.

It means I will get woken up by people walking into my house at all hours.
It means when I get up in the morning, I will find the kitchen counter covered with dirty dishes.
It means when I try to pack myself a lunch for work, I will find that there is no food in my refrigerator.

To be honest with you, I'm looking forward to it.

*

The Red Sox beat the Indians today by a score of 14 to 1 today and that kinda pisses me off because they lost on Thursday 5-3 and again yesterday 5-2.

If they had taken 12 of the runs they used today and used 6 of them on Thursday and 6 of them yesterday, they would be back at .500 instead of the 2 games below .500 that they are currently at.

*

You can click on these if you would like:

• Pfffttt... Rednecks....



• Here's a two-fer: Only in Florida and only in Walmart.



• I can't picture Lyndon Johnson as a teacher.



• Hey, at least they're honest about. That's way more than can be said about the US Congress.

Man, they just can't catch a break.

First they go into full suck mode and now their third baseman has a broken wrist. What the hell is going to go wrong next?

*

So Willard "My hair is perfect. Do you want to touch it?" Romney announced his choice of running mate and I got to be honest with you, I like him. I like him way more than I like Willard. Too bad he's not running for President.

*

Try these links:

• His mug shot makes me think he's kinda proud of himself.



• I don't know his name but he's the latest member of the A-Team.



• Only in Pennsylvania.



• Get ready for $4.00 a gallon.



• Key phrase in this story: "Why do you think they give away so many condoms?"

They dropped baseball but left synchronized swimming?

Can someone explain to me why synchronized swimming is an olympic sport but baseball isn't?

Just askin' is all.

*

They issued a tornado watch for us again today.

Fortunately, nothing rolled into town but this is getting a little old.

It does a little something to your psyche when you hear that one might be coming.

*

Here are todays links:

• USA! USA! What the...



• It's been a while since we had a story about a drunk on  a lawnmower.



• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminal of the Week.

I admit it - I fell asleep at 8:30 last night.

And as if falling asleep at 8:30 isn't bad enough, I remained sound asleep until 5:30 this morning. For those of you that are bad with math, that's 9 hours of blissful and much-needed sleep. Or, as I like to call it, a sh!tload of sleep.

*

The  US Womans Soccer team won the gold medal today and that is a good thing. What is really a good thing, in my humble opinion, is that Abby Wambach didn't score either of the goals.

Ever since she made that arrogant Gatorade commercial, I haven't liked her.

*

Here are a few links you might find interesting:

• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminal of the Day.



• More proof that our species is kinda stupid.



• Mind you, there's some salty language in this but it's funny as hell.



• Meet William Jenkins. Someone needs to punch him in the throat with a knife.

Early morning, long day, short post.

We got up at 4:00 this morning and I delivered my two youngest offspring to the airport were they boarded a plane to Florida. Then I went to work.

After work, I went to the wake for my Aunt Shirley and had to leave because I was so tired, I was afraid I wouldn't be able to drive home.

So now it's 7:30 and I'm having trouble keeping my eyes open.

Good night my friends. Hopefully I'll have more for you tomorrow.

It's not a long day, but it is a short post.

The bottom line is that I have a lot of things to do and I don't seem to have a lot of time to surf the internets.

Besides, there is a Red Sox game on and I need to give it my full attention. They need to start winning a lot of games and they need to do it now.

*

Here are a couple of links for you to click on:

• More proof that our species is kinda stupid.



• And even more proof that our species is kinda stupid.

I continue to have long days.

That means you continue to have short posts.

*

I did manage to find a few links:

• I'm betting that alcohol was involved.



• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminal of the Month.



• Looks like we didn't waste $2.5billion. And I think it's pretty cool that we have so many spacecraft up there that one of the older ones can capture a picture of the newest one landing.

How the hell do the Red Sox lose 3 out of 4 to the Twins?

Every day, while driving to and from work, I listen to the talking heads on WEEI and they all, to a man, continuously ask the question, "What is wrong with the Red Sox? Why can't they win?"

Well, Mr. Dennis, Mr. Callahan Mr, Merloni, et al.., allow me to answer your question:

They suck, that's why.

Seriously, that's the only answer.

I'd like to blame the pitching but the pitchers don't drive in runs. I'd like to blame the hitters but they don't prevent the other team from driving in runs. I'd like to blame the fielding but the Red Sox have the fewest errors in the majors.

So given that there is no single problem that can be identified, one must then reach the conclusion that everything is the problem. And when everything is the problem, then it must be because they suck.

Hopefully, in the near future, they stop sucking and start playing. Maybe they'll make the playoffs.

Until then, I'll keep watching them because, hey, it's baseball, and I love baseball.

*

Here are some links:

• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminal of the Year.



• Only in Florida.



• He calls himself The Fastest Man on No Legs. I call him the newest member of the A-Team.



• And this is why I don't pole vault....



• At $2.5billion, I sure hope this thing doesn't make a new crater on Mars. That will suck.

I can now breath easy.

Last night, I stopped at a local office supply store that used to be owned by the company that a current candidate for the office of the President of the United States used to control and I purchased a new router. The reason I needed a new one is because two weeks ago, my main router started acting a little finicky.

Finicky is fine if you are talking about a 3 year old who doesn't want to eat brussel sprouts but when you are talking about the main connection to the internet for a family of data-hungry individuals, finicky is bad.

Very bad.

Particularly when most of the aforementioned individuals are in academia and they all rely heavily on the internet to perform their work.

Most particularly is the fact that one of those individuals is my lovely wife and the last thing I need is to have my lovely wife lose access to the internet when she is trying to get her work done. That would be bad.

Very bad.

We here at The DailyNews© do not do well with "very bad"....

*

Here is a picture I took of my dog this morning as he slept on the couch:

 As you can see, he's a bit of a goof.

Here's the same picture rotated 180°:

Need I say any more???.

*

Here are some links that you can click on if you would like:

• Here's a Brilliant Criminal who had a bad night.



• Schnitt is an interesting guy.



• Here's a kind of unique "war"....

Sometimes life isn't kind.

My Aunt Shirley passed away last night. She was my dads oldest sister and she was always very nice to me.

Add to that news the fact that my friend Diane, who battled cancer 11 years ago and then again last year was told that it's back and she might need a bone marrow transplant.

So say a prayer for my friend Diane. I'm not sure that a prayer will cure her cancer but, as Blaise Pascal said, "What the hell, it can't hurt."

*

I finally got around to buying a router tonight. The old one is still hanging in but it's only a matter of time before it decides to call it quits.

Guess that means I'll be configuring and installing that tomorrow. If you don't see a post tomorrow, you'll know I failed..

*

I got nothing else for ya so how about we just get to some links:

• To quote Mr. Mark Twain when he quoted Prime Minister Benjamin Disraeli, "There three kinds of lies: Lies, Damned Lies and Statistics."



• Yuck!



• Yuck!

I continue to experience long days.

That means you get to continue to experience short posts.

I do, however, have some links for you:

• Isn't this a lot like beating him with a sock or a pair of pantyhose?



• Isn't Oregon where Starbucks got started?



• If you are ever in Italy, be careful what you say when discussing soccer, baseball or basketball. Also, golf....

I got nothing for you

Seriously, I'm all out of stuff today.

It was a long day and I'm tired. I'm calling it a night and falling asleep before the Red Sox even get out of the 4th inning.

Catch you all tomorrow.