Three more games.

The Red Sox lost their 90th baseball game of the season today.

This loss leaves them with three games left in the season that will be played against the Yankees. I have a feeling that those won't go so well either.

But that doesn't matter because when you think about it, none of their games have gone very well this season. No sir, they haven't gone well at all and it's because they have a problem.

Here's my take on what their problem might be:

The Red Sox played like crap at the end of last season and ended up missing post-season play. The team blamed the GM (Epstein) and the Manager (Francona) and got rid of both of them.

They started this season with a new manager and a new GM. They also started the season with some of the best players in the American league and yet they still managed to play like crap.

By August, they were blaming the players so they got rid of some of their more senior players but that didn't help and they still kept playing like crap.

So I ask you, when a team has replaced the GM, the manager and five (Yukolis, Beckett, Gonzalez, Crawford and Punto) of their nine players and they are still playing like crap, what's left to do?

Who was there at the end of last season, the beginning of this season and is still there as the season comes to an end?

Ownership, that's who.

They need to get rid of their ownership.

And they need to get Heidi Watney back.

*

Got a few links for you:

• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminals of the Day.



• Here's the latest member of the A-Team.



• Only in Florida.

We spent the day in Keene, NH

This weekend was Parents Weekend at Keene State so we spent the day up there with my youngest.

The weather wasn't very cooperative but it was a nice visit with him. He introduced us to all of his friends and we met the "no, she's not my girl" friend but I have a feeling that he might be misleading us.

We had an excellent lunch at Local Burger, which is a burger joint from Northampton that has expanded  in Keene. Then we had a great dinner at The Pub. If you are ever in Keene, I recommend both places.

*

I have no links for you but I do have this picture of a vehicle that was parked in the commuter lot at the college:

It's a short bus that's been converted to a camper (or something). Those are 2x3s you see holding the second floor onto the body of the bus.

I left my youngest with orders to find the owner, get to know him and send me pictures of the inside.

It was a nice day off.

As John is aware, I took today off. Not the nicest day to take off because all it did was rain all day but hey, a bad day off is always better than a good day in the office.

*

Took The Dog to the vets for a checkup on his recent surgery. The Doc says that all is good and it's time for The Dog to start working a little harder.

That means that instead of walking 1/4 mile, we'll start to stretch it out and get ourselves back to walking around the block. Eventually, we'll get back to walking through the entire neighborhood....

...just in time for winter to settle in and freeze our butts off.

*

While I watch the Red Sox play baseball, you can click on these links:

• Only in Florida.



• Yes, alcohol was involved.



• This is kind of cool.



• Trust me, this is funny.

An investigative report that means something.

Normally I could care less about those so-called "investigative reports" that news programs occasionally run because I think they are either making mountains out of molehills or they are outright lies. But in the case of the recent ABC news investigation about thefts by TSA agents, I made an exception and started paying attention to it.

The part that caught my attention was the line, "New figures out today show 381 TSA officers have been fired for stealing from passengers...."

That got me to thinking, "I wonder how many TSA officer there are? What is the percentage of officers caught stealing? Does the 381 represent one percent? Ten percent? Twenty percent?"

That's when I found this.

Doing simple math shows that less than 1 percent (.8 percent) of the population of TSA screeners are thieves. However, I would like to point out that 100 percent of them are gropers & fondlers of innocent men, women and children.

Remember,the TSA is not there to keep us safe, it's there to keep us in line.

*

And speaking of the Federal Government, it certainly does not shock me that they are still spending a lot of our tax dollars mandating how we should live our lives.

Thanks to yet another meddling First Lady (Remember Nancy Reagan and her "Just Say No" campaign that resulted in our now infamous war on drugs?) our government has done something that is costing us a lot of money with little or no benefit.

Why do we keep letting this happen? Why do we keep letting people that we never elected dictate to us how we should live our lives?

*

If you would like, you can click on these links:

• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminals of the Week.



• Hey! The real referees are back!



• This is why I only drink Budweiser....



• Key phrase in this story of an American idiot, "...he broke several ribs and defecated in his shorts..."

Another Long Day = Another Short Post

I'm gonna watch the Red Sox and fall asleep.

You can click on these links:

• Key phrase in this story: "...the sheriff’s department offered Galassi back his finger."



• In my mind, I picture Robert Redford looking at Paul Newman and saying, "Think ya used enough dynamite there, Butch?"



• Here's your Naked Guy in the News story.

The Republican Party and me.

I can't vote for Barack Obama because he firmly believes that the people should be dependant upon their government, not the other way around as the founding fathers intended. That should scare most people.

But lets talk about why I find it hard to vote Republican.

I find it hard vote for any member of the Republican Party simply because I believe that religion has no place in my government and I certainly don't want anyone in office who believes that the planet Earth is only 10,000 years old and that dinosaurs and humans walked side by side like some Flintstones cartoon.

Also, I hate voting for anyone that has never had to balance a checkbook or tried to figure out the cheapest way to spend a one week vacation with his family. Willard has not only never had to figure out how to balance a checkbook, I'm pretty sure he's never had to do much of anything. He has "people" who do things for him.

The Republican Party is the party that gave us Abraham Lincoln, Teddy Roosevelt and Dwight Eisenhower but that version of the Republican Party is long gone. Sometime in the 1980s, it devolved into a religious boiling pot of narrow-minded nut cases that now gives us the likes of Rick Santorum and Mike Huckabee.

Bottom line here folks is that I don't want people who don't have a firm grasp of reality in charge of our government and I most certainly don't want anyone like that in charge of our nuclear weapons.

Those people scare me more than the socialists.

*

Here are some links:

• First we had drunks on lawnmowers, then drunks on bucket loaders, then drunks on motorized bar stools and now we got drunks on bicycles.



• And so it begins....



• This is kinda interesting.

Long Day = Short Post

Here are a few links to click on:

• You can probably smuggle a nuclear bomb across the US/Canada border but try to get some nice provolone or mozzarella....



• NOOOOO!!! Not BACON!!!



• Key phrase in this story about rednecks from Tennessee: "...a 'French maid' outfit that had been purchased at Walmart."

It's gonna get hot around here.

We have removed all of the air conditioners from the windows, cleaned them, covered them in plastic sheet and stored them in the basement.

That means we are now going to experience a major heat wave.

*

Here's a thought - If they had just waited another 10 or 15 minutes, he would have become "one" with the tiger and our society would be all the better

The problem with kids like this is not the kids, it's their parents. Who the hell raised this kid to think it was okay to get into a cage with a tiger? Did no one ever smack this kid in the ass when he did something stupid like try to put his tongue into a light socket or run out into the street?

We seem to have an entire generation of kids out there who have been so over-protected that they can't seem to grasp the concept of self-preservation. These are the same people who pull on some spandex shorts and a tight yellow shirt and ride a $1,000.00 bicycle down a narrow, winding, heavily-traveled country road as if the laws of physics no longer apply to them.

Idiots.

*

I found these few links for you:

• Only in Florida.



• I remember most of these but they left out the ones that really got us to thinking.



• The Donald is belching dangerous levels of methane...



• I'm pretty sure Larry Flint has been selling the same kind of thing for years.



• Only in Florida.

New Ol' Bess has been sighted in and is ready to go.

The chipmonk population appears to be growing at an alarming rate. I suspect it's because the acorns are falling and that is attracting the little bastiches from the woods.

So my eldest and I took a few shots at a target the other day and managed to get it so at about 75 feet, we managed a grouping of about 1 inch. That's pretty good for a pellet gun and it should be good enough to help send some of those furry little terrorists to meet their maker.

*

Here are a few links you might enjoy:

• This is your brain. This is your brain on drugs. Any questions?



• Only in Florida.



• Scienceee stuff.

My good friend John is now Number One.

If you had told me thirty years ago that John would one day be the senior badge in town, I would have agreed with you. His ability to do the job with a level head and calm demeanor (expect for that one time with the mag lite and the drunk kid on the steps of the dorm) was always apparent. His understanding of what is right and wrong, legal and illegal, smart and stupid, was always spot on.

And those, my friends, are the qualities that most of us want in the people we ask to uphold our laws.

So I say to my friend John, "Congratulations. Bask in your glory for a while and then do me a favor - retire and go do something else that doesn't involve dealing with stressed-out people who have just done something wrong/illegal/stupid."

*

Here are some links to click on:

• Look everybody! It's the "Day of Love"!



• Key phrase in this story: "I'm not looking for a thank-you, but I'm not looking for a big F.U."



• Only in Florida.



• Also Only in Florida.



• Key phrase in this story: "I'm Jack Sparrow!"

I had many things to do.

Despite the fact that I took today off from work, I was busy all day and didn't have a lot of time to spend surfing the interwebs.

Here are some links that you can visit:

• What I find amazing is that the grandmother didn't say anything...



• Only in Walmart.



• Bet you didn't know this.

Starve a carbunkle, feed an allergy.

One of the people I work with has a very bad case of allergies and something is in the air that is really treating her poorly. She came in this morning looking like she had a mix of the bubonic plague and leprosy.

I asked her why she came in and her reply was, "I have to give a presentation."

I sometimes think I work with people who are dedicated to the point of stupidity.

*

You can visit these links if you would like:

• I'm thinking you should probably avoid the soup d'jour at his restaurant....



• Yes, alcohol was involved.



• Welcome to Florida.

Is the traditional family such a bad thing?

As a child, I grew up in an environment with a mom who was female and a dad who was male. All in all, it was a pretty good environment to grow up in and while I'm sure that all other possible combinations are just as good, I'm beginning to sense a trend where we, as a society, have determined that the "traditional family" isn't worth preserving.

When I look around at what is happening in our world, I wonder what we, as a society, are thinking about. I wonder why anyone would say to themselves, "It's perfectly okay for a 14 year old girl to be a single mother." I wonder why anyone would think it's okay for a 15 year old boy to become something called "my baby daddy".

I accept the fact that the notion of "sex" to procreate is an arcane idea and anyone can have a baby now-a-days by simply visiting a small discrete building on the local medical campus. I accept it in much the same way I accept a stop sign on a lonely country road at 3:00 in the morning - I'm not sure it's necessary but I accept it.

I accept the fact that in some families, mom is male and dad is female. I accept the fact that in some families, mom and dad are both males or both females.

I accept the fact that some males are convinced that they are really females and that the medical community is fully prepared to convert them to a female. I accept the face that some females are convinced that they are really males and once again, medical science is fully prepared to convert them from female to male. I'm not sure it's a good idea, but I accept it.

What I am not prepared to accept is the diminishment of the traditional family.

Holding a father-daughter dance in no way discriminates against the single mom, or anyone else. It's a freakin' dance where a little girl gets to dance with her dad. Nothing more, nothing less. And cancelling it or renaming it is just another way of saying, "Hey. You traditional family people are just old-fashioned fuddy-duddy's and we don't need you around anymore."

*

Here are todays links:

• Ladies and Gentlemen, these people ARE the A-Team.



• And this, my friends, is how life should end for anyone with a string of convictions for violent crimes who is also an admitted rapist of an 11 year old girl. It saves us all a lot of time and money.



• Turns out there is a substitute school teacher in San Rafael, CA who is suddenly not poor anymore.



• Key entry from our favorite police blotter: "5:34 p.m. A Hungry Horse man reported that his neighbor drove by and flipped him off."



• Key phrase in this story: "These are night exercise which are supposed to be deadly and silent. Not full of screaming, like a bunch of girls."



• Three things to note about this story - One: He is a shoplifter at the age of 69. Two: He is shoplifting condoms at the age of 69. Three: His name is HARRY JOHNSON! Hah!

I'm growing more grass.

Wait. Let me clarify that:

I pulled out some crab grass, scratched the soil and threw some more grass seed onto the ground. Hopefully it will turn into grass before the first frost and in the spring, I'll actually have some lawn to look out over while I stand on the parapits of my sprawling estate and gaze out over my vast landholdings.

*

Here are some links that you can click on while I watch the Red Sox play something that might, or might not, be a game of baseball:

• Mom of the Year.



• Only in Walmart.



• In case you didn't know, today is Constitution Day. It's also the anniversary of the bloodiest day in American history.

My lawn is de-pooped and freshly mowed.

It's nice to have a de-pooped lawn.

*

The Red Sox lost today but all things considered, they played pretty well. They took two out of three from the Blue Jays but that isn't what I came here to talk about.

What I came here to talk about was a pinch hitter.

Pedro Ciriaco was on first base and Jose Iglasias was at bat. There were two outs. Iglasias, who isn't known for his ability to hit the ball had two strikes on him when Ciriaco decided to steal second base. This put Ciriaco on second with two outs.

That was when Bobby Valentine decided to do something no one can remember happening. He took Iglasias out of the game and put Daniel Nava up to bat with two strikes against him.

Aside from the fact that I didn't think it was legal to take a batter out of the game before he finished his at-bat unless he was injured, I would also like to point out that this kind of proves that Bobby Valentine is a little bit insane...

*

Here a some links you can enjoy:

• Here's a tip: If you are going to commit crimes, you probably shouldn't make yourself stand out like a sore thumb.



• Attention John: Isn't this what you drink?



• Here's some scienceeee stuff for you.



• This is just plain wrong.

It was a nice day for a drive to Keene

After returning my youngest to school this afternoon, I decided to experiment with the drive home and instead of heading west to route 91, I took route 10 south from Keene into Massachusetts down to Bernardston.

Turns out that route 10 through southern New Hampshire into Northern Massachusetts is kind of a crappy little road with at least one old lady in front of you driving 15 mph below the posted speed limit.

Very frustrating....

*

The Red Sox have managed to win their last two games against the Blue Jays. This, my friends, is basically a minor miracle. They haven't won two games in a row in a long time.

Maybe they'll win three games in a row.

*

After my night out with the boys (yes gentlemen, I know I left early. What can I say. I'm old) I find myself a little tired this evening.

You can click on these links while I fall asleep in front of my TV:

• Check out the picture with the fly next to the nest.



• There's just something special about a girl in a mini skirt and go-go boots.

As I clearly stated yesterday, this is a long day.

It's a long day but not because I worked late. It's because sometimes a guy's gotta do what a guy's gotta do.

That means I'm going to hang out with some fellow guys, drink some adult beverages and talk about guy things like sports and power tools.

All of which means I don't have a lot of time for the interwebs.

*

Here are a few links:

• Personally, I hope ABC loses big time. More than 700 people lost their jobs over this non-story.



• The only thing lower than a cannoli thief is a Irish cannoli thief....



• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminal of the Day.

Yes, it was another long day.

Guess what? Tomorrow is probably going to be a long day too.

*

Here are some links you might find interesting:

• Why did he have to pay $50.00 in court costs?



• That is one lucky woman.



• Only in Florida.

Long Day

I had another long day but before I leave you, I would like to point out one thing:

THE FREAKIN' LAST PLACE FREAKIN' RED SOX FREAKIN' BEAT THE FREAKIN' FIRST PLACE FREAKIN' YANKEES LAST FREAKIN' NIGHT!

This has been the one thing that I wanted to point out.

We now return you to our regularly scheduled program.

*

Here are todays links:

•  Hey look everybody! It's the religion of peace!



•  Only in Florida.



•  "We is gonna wander around nekkid fer a bit but we don't want nobody oogling us!"

Long Day = Short Post

I'm tired and my feet hurt. I'm going to go for my evening amble then settle in to watch the Red Sox play the Yankees. Anyone want to bet on who wins the game?

*

You can click on these links if you would like:

• Key phrase in this story: "...got so close that we touched boob to boob."



• We call this "burning your bridges".



• Only in Florida (Also Naked Guy in the News)



• NASA has gone McGyver.

The Dog continues to improve.

The other day I neglected to put the gate across the stairs when I went upstairs to shower. When I came out of the bathroom, there he was, sitting on my bedroom rug, wating patiantly for me to play with him.

I spoke sternly to him and waggled my finger vigorously at him. This caused him to hang his head in shame....

....for about 7 seconds.

Then, he jumped up, wagged his tail, leaned against me and licked my hand.

How can anyone ever abuse a dog.

*

The Patriots won yesterday, which is way more than I can say about the Red Sox.

*

Here are a couple of links you can click on:

• OUCH!



• Only in Russia.

You want to know how bad things are?

It's so bad that I'm kind of hoping that John Lackey might recover enough to make a start.

That's how bad things are....

*

Not much in the news today so how about you just go click on these links:

• Key phrase in this story: "It was kind of like a waterslide."



• Presenting this episode Brilliant Criminal of the Month.



• Only in Florida.



• 'Giant African Land Snail' would be a great name for a 1990s boy-band band.



• They might have better luck with Barry White and a nice bottle of ripple.

I wish I could say the Red Sox didn't lose last night....

...but they did.

Thanks to last nights loss, the Red Sox and the Blue Jays are now tied for last place in the ALEast. Tonight's game will dictate which team will take sole control of last place and despite my depression and despondence, I'll be watching it.

I gotta tell you that if you had told me a year ago that, as we approached the end of the 2012 season, the Washington Nationals would be the best team on all of Major League Baseball and the Red Sox would be battling to stay out of last place, I would have said you were crazy.

Guess I would have been wrong...

*

They issued yet another tornado watch for us.

Tornadoes suck...

*

If you are looking for links, here they are:

• It's only a matter of time before they outlaw birds.



• We don't pay cops enough money.



• Key phrase in this story: "repeated thong offender".



• I guess he really liked Budweiser.

The Red Sox did not lose last night!

Of course, I guess you could argue that they didn't lose because they didn't play, but still, the important thing here is that they didn't lose.

*

This is why the media needs to get off his back about what he did in Vegas.

The man is not some spoiled little brat cavorting around with an entitlement attitude like Paris Hilton. He is a battle-hardened veteran with a strong desire to support not only his country but his fellow human beings. He is responsible for reviving and driving his mothers charities, he never shirks his duty and, according to the men he's fought with, he is loyal to a fault.

I'm sure that he recognizes the fact that he is a "royalty" and probably needs to remember that he is constantly going to be scrutinized but you know what? When he steps up and does his duty with integrity, honor and loyalty, nothing else should matter, including his decision to party like a rock star.

The world needs more people like him and we should give him far more credit and respect than anyone else in that family. If I ran into him in a bar, I'd buy him a beer, tell him a dirty joke and thank him for his service to our species.

*

The Dog continues to recover and stretch the boundaries of what he is allowed to do.

Despite my talking to him in a stern voice and wagging my finger at him in a brisk manner, he continues to do verboten things like jump up and down when someone comes home, climb the stairs when someone is upstairs and get on the couch when no one is home.

We do notice that he is beginning to put some weight on the leg and he appears to be in almost no pain at all. He allows us to touch his leg and move the joint a bit to keep it from stiffening up.

Hopefully he will be back to his normal derpy self in a few weeks and we can once again resume our daily routine where I walk around the neighborhood and he comes along to sniff and pee on every telephone pole along my route.

*

Here are some links you can click on:

• The truly amazing phrase in this story that makes me wonder what is in that bag I have in my shed: "...accidental marijuana farm when he spread bird seed across his field..."



• Key entry from my favorite police blotter: "3:02 p.m. To the delight of a local business owner, the man who stole beer and jerky form his store was caught on camera."



• Queue the stereotypical "Pfffttt.... Woman drivers...." joke.



• Here's your Naked Guy in the News story.



• Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you the faces of pure evil. Thankfully, Ohio has the death penalty.



• Yes, alcohol was involved. (Key phrase: "jumped and urinated on the exterior of his shorts")

Is Valentine still the manager of the Red Sox?

Yesterday, during a telephone interview, Bobby Valentine threatened to punch the interviewer in the mouth. He claimed it was a joke but if you listen to the interview, he was not really joking.

At this point, I'm thinking that maybe the worst season in Red Sox history has taken it's toll on Mr. Valentine and he's snapped. I'm not saying he's gone full-tilt bozos but he sure seems to have crossed some line where his emotions have taken over and he's no longer thinking right.

To misquote the warden from 'Cool Hand Luke', "Man's got to get his mind straight. He gets a night in the box."

*

The Dog seems to be in a little more pain today than yesterday. I think maybe all of his verboten activity such as stair climbing and couch jumping may have caused him more distress than he realizes.

I went home at lunch time today and found him sound asleep on his bed on the floor. No jumping, no running and no stair climbing, just limping.

*

Here are some links:

• I think it should be perfectly legal for the cops to just shoot people like this in the head.



• The voters in East Longmeadow are kinda getting dumped on.



• Only in Florida. (Key phrase :"I mean, everybody's stupid, just not like this")



• This is a pretty damned good video regarding democrats and "pro-choice".

The dog and I got no sleep last night.

He does not like being high as a kite and, as a result, he spent the night whining and fussing. he also did not want to be alone. When I went upstairs to get changed, he tried to follow me. Going upstairs is strictly verboten and is considered a very bad thing for a dog with a brand new ACL.

This morning, I placed some chairs across the dorrway between our kitchen and the hallway that leads to the stairs hoping they would serve as a deterent to him. It was not to be. He head-butted the chairs out of the way and came upstairs anyways.

I dug out an old baby gate we had and placed it across the doorway when I left the house this morning. My wife went home at 12:30 this afternoon to check on him and discovered that he was up on the couch (again, strictly verboten).

Can someone explain to me how it's possible for a three-legged dog who is in some amount of pain to jump up on a two foot high couch?

*

While I fall asleep in front of my TV, you can click on these links:

• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminals of the Month.



• Only in Russia.

My dog is all repaired.

Today was the day he had surgery to repair a torn ACL. Turns out that there was a lot of damage and I suspect some of it was quite old. The meniscus was "shredded", the ligament (ACL) was torn off and there was the start of arthritis.

According to the vet and the handy-dandy little booklet on post-surgical treatment, we're looking at 8-12 weeks of recovery.

He is more than a little loopy and I suspect in some amount of pain. I feel bad for him but a few days of discomfort is way better than a lifetime of leg damage.

*

Did you know that the Democratic National Convention is going on?

I didn't.

*

Here are a few links that you can click on:

• Key phrase in this story: "He will not be charged."



• Many American people too....



• It's just a matter of time before they outlaw those things.

Just call me McGyver

I had to glue an arm back onto a chair and discovered that I didn't have the right clamps to hold it in place. So I adapted and overcame with string:

The dog helped. He's good that way.

*

I promised my wife I would clean my workbench today. That means I need to clean my workbench today.

I should learn to keep my mouth shut...

*

So now I'm going to watch the Red Sox play baseball out in Seattle. Hopefully they will win but since I'm a realist, I'll just hope they don't lose too badly.

You can visit these links if you would like:

• I can think of way more than 20.



• Yes, alcohol was involved. (Caution, there is some much-justified violence.)

I'm pretty sure the Red Sox couldn't play any worse.

The Red Sox are so far out of contention that I'd be willing to bet that not only won't they be playing in October, they might not even be playing next April. The MLB might just tell them, "Sorry, but only major league teams can play in this league."

*

We had to go buy a new vacuum cleaner today. The old one had an electrical short that I'm pretty sure might have gotten around to burning my house down if we hadn't stopped using it. When I said stop using it, my wife said, "Well, I need to clean this house. How am I supposed to do that without a vacuum?"

And that is why I went to buy a new vacuum today.

*

Here are a few links you can click on:

• Key phrase in this story: "...changed his mind once he got outside."



• In case you were wondering why people hate banks....



• Damn. I missed it.

I spent the night on the phone

Last night at about 11:00, I got a call about a problem at work. The guy who called me works out of a home office in Hawaii and he always revels in telling me how he spends his days surfing and lounging on the beach.

He's a good guy and when he's in town, he always buys but when he's in Hawaii and he calls me at 11:00 at night, he really needs to remember that it's not 5:00pm, it's 11:00pm.

And I'm old.

And I'm tired.

*

Since I was on the phone all night, I took a nice nap today.

I like naps.

*

Everyone in New Orleans is complaining about not having any electricity and not seeing anyone working on fixing it.

Sounds a lot like us when we had that snow storm in October.

*

I'm going to bed early. You can click on todays links:

• Danged Revenuers ....



• Wow.



• What I don't understand is why they didn't cancel it after one season....



• Yes, alcohol was involved.