It was a bit chilly this morning.

This is what greeted me when I backed out of my garage:

I don't care how tough you think you are, that's cold.

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• I've been to Aliquippa.



• Don't mess with Mamma.



• Gwyneth Paltrow is weird. Kinda kinky, but weird.



• Key phrase in this story: "I just pooped my pants."