Yes, there is hockey

Unfortunately it's on at 8:00 and I suspect I won't make it through all three periods.

That doesn't matter. What matters is that while I'm awake, I'll be watching the Bruins play hockey.

I'm hoping they win.

⧫

This posting is a bit late so let's cut to the chase.

Here are the links:

• Could it be because they are a nanny state with extremely high taxes?



• Only in Florida.



• Key TMI phrase in this story: "...she described Weinstein's genitalia in detail."



• If your job is pretending your someone else, you have bigger problems.

Soon...

One day until hockey, three days until football and thirteen days until baseball.

Our long, national tragedy will soon be over.

⧫

I'm going to get some things done and then watch bad television.

You can click on these:

• Well, this sounds.... terrible.



• Sloppy February would be a great name for a 1960s comedy starring Jonathan Winters and Don Knotts.



• Okay, this is funny. Probably illegal but funny as hell.



• This is gonna make for some interesting family dinners....



• It might be a bit tacky but it is pretty funny.

Freaks of nature

I've come to the conclusion that Christie Brinkley (65 years old) and Vanna White (63 years old) are vampires that keep themselves alive and looking good by drinking the blood of young people.

Either that or they are freaks of nature because unlike me, they look pretty good for people their age.

⧫

This is short and late because I've been doing some things for work.

While I continue typing emails and sending documents, you can visit these:

• Some people have way to much time on their hands.



• Only in Pennsylvania.



• Only in Florida.



• Isn't this the plot of almost every episode of The Walking Dead?



• She should open the Ice Swimming Pool.



• What is tat, where can I get some and how do I trade it for the other thing?

Yo! Peach this....

I made the mistake of streaming some of the senate hearing today and all I have to say is; Man, do those guys love to hear themselves talk.

After 20 minutes of watching and listening, I realized I had not yet gained any new knowledge or information about the impeachment or Trump or anything else.

Attention peachers: If you are going to talk for 20 minutes, you should at least say something. If you have nothing to say, shut the hell up.

I guess I'm still grumpy about the lack of sports.

Sorry. I'll stop talking about the peachment

⧫

Found this and thought it was funny. It's kind of how I feel right now:

⧫

I'm going to get something to eat.

You should click on these:

• Researchers: Contributing to the betterment of our society or a complete waste of perfectly good oxygen.



• This is your brain. This is your brain on drugs.



• This means there is someone in Canada who actually goes around collecting them.



• He was probably just following his GPS.

Busy day

I've been busy putting together a response to an audit we had last month. We need to present it to the Board of Trustees in mid-February. Since I'm the InfoSec guy, I get to respond to all of the audit items regarding information technology.

It's all fun and games until someone loses their data....

⧫

Still no hockey, football or baseball.

I think I'm having withdrawal symptoms.

⧫

While I suffer through bad television, you can enjoy these links:

• The State Department should change its name to The Department of Duh.



• Brazilian Blowout would be a fantastic name for a 1970s Monty Python movie.



• Iran: The Eddie Haskell of the Middle East.



• Only in Florida.

Another lazy day

These lazy days are nice but they are even nicer in the summer.

Summer is coming my friends and I'm going to enjoy my lazy days even more.

⧫

The Red Sox are still trying to find someone to manage the team and there are only 16 days until pitchers and catchers report to camp in Fort Meyers.

I asked my buddy Walt if he wanted the job but he said no, there were too many headcases on that team.

I'm thinking he might be right.

⧫

So anyways, here are some links that you can click on if you want:

• Only in Florida.



• Key phrase in this story: "...then I got hit in my right scrotum."



• Australia: What doesn't kill ya, kills ya.



• I don't follow basketball but I do know who Kobe Bryant was. Damn shame.



• I think we should call it "The Wuhan Boogaloo"
  (Caution: loud autoplay video)



• When it comes to defending yourself and your belongings, use whatever you have.

Nice quiet day

We got our errands done early, finished up some house work and then spent the day relaxing in front of bad television and internets.

I do feel kind of bad about blowing off my buddy Tommy. He called me this afternoon to see if I could stop by and take a look at a problem he was having with his network. I told him I wasn't available at all this weekend because I wasn't around.

I didn't have anything to do and I was around, I just didn't feel like trying to fix something that had been built by some guy who I have no knowledge of.

Besides, it's the weekend and the last thing I want to do is work.

I told him I would stop by and take a look at things sometime during this week.

⧫

Someone told me that NESN was running old Red Sox games so I guess I have to scan the guide to find them. When I try to use the search feature, I end up finding crap.

I hate watching crap.

⧫

Despite my laziness today, I did manage to find a few links:

• Oh Canada.



• There is at least one guy in Arizona who is not the sharpest tool in the shed.



• Are they saying that since it wasn't about dinner rolls, it's okay?



• Now if they would only ban the kidnapping, enslavement and rape of little girls.



• Only in Florida.

I still think pizza is one of the best meals you can have.

Pizza is one of those meals that just hits the spot.

The only thing that beats pizza is chinese food.

⧫

Still working on my sports withdrawal.

Hockey starts up again on the 31st, the superb owl will be played on the 2nd and spring training starts up on the 21st.

So hey, I got all that to look forward to.

⧫

I'm going to yawn for a bit and fall asleep watching ba television.

You should visit these:

• Only in Florida.



• It's about time.



• Key phrase in this story: "I tried to bite him back. He never let go, he bit harder."



• Oh CanAmerica.



• The Chinese are slightly insane.

I have 6 DVRs to last me 8 days.

I have two Gold Rush's, two Last Man Standing's and two How the Universe Works. I need to stretch those out over the 8 days of the mid-season hockey break.

Wish me luck.

⧫

We received a single jar of baby food from Walmart.com this afternoon. We did not order a single jar of baby food from Walmart.com. We don't even have an account at Walmart.com.

This is a mystery.

Either someone is trying to tell us something or Walmart is randomly sending crap to people they don't know.

We'll have to see how this mystery plays out.

⧫

Here are today's links:

• Face tattoos are an indication of poor life decisions.



• Only in Pennsylvania.



• Best Mugshot Ever!



• Here's your Naked Guy In The News story.



• If you need to ward off evil spirits, get yourself a witch bottle.

The Bruins won last night

After last nights win over the Golden Knights, the Bruins are in second place.

They are now off until January 31st, giving them a 9 day vacation to rest and recover.

⧫

I did not watch any of the impeachment proceedings because, well, to be honest with you, they suck. I'd rather watch a television show about house painting or lawn raking.

⧫

I'm going to get some dinner and then watch some bad television.

Here are some links:

• Australia: What doesn't kill ya, kills ya.



• Dude....



• Parent of the Year.



• I bet this makes for an interesting morning roll call story.



• It's like that scene from the Holy Grail: "I'm not dead yet! Oh shut up. You will be soon. No I won't. I feel fine!"



• Key phrase in this story: "The couple’s current relationship was not immediately clear."



• Face tattoos are always a bad life decision.

The single most boring thing I've ever watched

I streamed the impeachment hearings today for about an hour. It was, by far, the most obnoxious and boring thing I've watched. The democrats are self-righteous pricks and the republicans are arrogant assholes.

Thomas Jefferson once said:

"I hold it that a little rebellion now and then is a good thing, and as necessary in the political world as storms in the physical."

After watching that collective bullshit show, I'm thinking it might be time for a a little rebellion.

On the upside, Chief Justice John Roberts appeared to be enjoying himself. Maybe he should run for president.

⧫

The Bruins are hosting the Golden Knights at 7:00 and if they don't win this game, I'm gonna be pissed.

They are currently in third place behind the Capitals and the Blues in the league. They are still in first place in their division, 6 points ahead of the Lightening but that number is getting smaller.

If they keep losing, they might just find themselves in second place in the division, struggling to maintain a wild card slot.

⧫

You can click on these links while I yell at the hockey game:

• If you've ever wanted to own a pair of musty, ancient, nasty, royal underwear, now's your chance.



• Only in Florida.



• Also only in Florida.



• Key phrase in this story: "...mercilessly crop-dust innocent residents as he passes by."



• I'm assuming there was a lot of alcohol being consumed just before this happened.



• I have no idea what is being said but I suspect it's something along the lines of, "That moron parked his helicopter in a really bad place."



• In case you were interested.

There is food in the house

Other than stopping in to pick up some deli meats for my lunches, I have not done any grocery shopping since my wife and daughter left. That means that when my wife came home, she found an empty refrigerator and bare cabinets.

Between a stop at Costco yesterday afternoon and a trip to the grocery store this morning, there is now food in the house.

Good thing too because I'm kinda hungry.

⧫

Looks like the two teams for the Superb Owl are all set. The Kansas City Chiefs will host the San Francisco 49rs down in Miami, FL on February 2nd.

Oh, and just so you know, February 2nd is also known as Ground Hog Day. I wonder if Bill Murray will see his shadow?

I gotta be honest with you, I like Jimmy Garoppolo but I strongly suspect that Pat Mahomes will dominate the field and win his first Superb Owl.

The kid is good. Really good.

⧫

There is nothing on television this evening and I'm about out of quality DVRs. Guess I'll just watch bad television nd fall asleep early.

You may find some of these interesting:

• Too Many Twins would be a fantastic name for a 1960s Disney movie.



• Isn't this known as "grand theft"?



• They say a picture is worth a thousand words but a mug shot is worth a lot more.



• Florida may be odd but Alaska has moose.

And she's home

On January 2nd, my daughter went back to school and my wife went with her. My daughter was scheduled for a night shift (8pm to 8am) and my wife decided that she was going to go out there and help with the dog, the cleaning, the cooking, etc..

Now, 18 days later, she is back home and me and The Dog are damned glad to have her.

I gotta tell you, I am not a great bachelor. I can cook, I can clean, I can do laundry but put all three of those things together and I end up doing everything half-assed.

As for my wife, she got to spend a night in Chicago at O'Hare airport because of the storms. Fortunately she was able to get a room in the hotel and she did not have to spend it on a bench in the terminal with 100s of her fellow stranded travelers.

⧫

The freakin' Bruins lost to the freakin' Penguins this afternoon despite being up 3-1 after the first period. Once again, they take an early lead and then squander it.

I'm not happy with them.

⧫

I'm going to watch some football to see who Patrick Mahomes will be playing in the Superb Owl. I'm kind of hoping it's gonna be Aaron Rogers.

I think a Mahomes / Rogers Superb Owl would be a good game to watch.

You can visit these links if you want:

• Only in Florida.



• Anyone shocked by this? Anyone?



• Key phrase in this story: "She said, 'Let me see!' I said, 'No!'"



• Key entry from our favorite police log: "8:19 a.m. A local teen called to report that her dad and step-mom were smoking way too much marijuana."

Damn, I forgot to click "publish" last night.

Sorry about that.

You would think after 10 year of this crap, I would be better at it by now.

Oh well.

⧫

So the Bruins are currently in third place. The Capitals have 69 points and the Blues & the Bruins both have 68 points. The Bruins have more wins but the primary tiebreaker is the number of games played. The team with fewer games has a higher percentage of points per game.

Since the Blues have played 48 games and the Bruins have played 49, the Blues have the higher points per game percentage. That puts them in second place.

The Bruins are off today (Saturday) but the Capitals and the Blues are both playing so I guess will see where things stand tomorrow.

⧫

As for the Red Sox, the only people who know what is going on are the owners and management.

They are in Springfield at the casino for their "Winter Weekend" extravaganza. Hopefully they knuckle down and find a manager once that is over with because Pitchers and Catchers report on February 11.

That is 24 days from today.

⧫

I have things to do this evening so I'll leave you with these links to contemplate:

• Read the comments for this story. "Professional driver....Closed course." is one of the best.



• When I'm dead, don't save any of my parts or pieces.



• This is a task I would not consider to be a DIY kind of task.

Yes, there is hockey tonight

The Penguins are in Boston to play the Bruins.

The freakin' Bruins better freakin' win this freakin' hockey game...

⧫

I'm trying to figure out if I want to eat dinner tonight.

I had my annual physical on Monday and my doctor indicated that it might be a good idea for me to think about losing a few pounds. I told my doctor he could stand to lose a few pounds himself and we both had a good laugh.

But seriously, at some point, it would probably do me some good to shave some weight off.

The problem is I smoked for almost 40 years. Nicotine is a hell of an appetite suppressant and when it was finally out of my system, I started eating everything that was within reach. That was eleven years ago and it's time that I stopped doing that.

I figure if I have the will power to give up a 40 year old smoking habit, I should be able to stop shoving candy bars and cookies into my yap.

And for the record, no, this is not a resolution. This is my doctor reminding me that I'm old and fat. I can't do anything about the old part but I might be able to have some impact on the fat part.

⧫

I'm going to have a light dinner and then watch some hockey.

You should click on these:

• You know what I'm sick and tired of hearing? I'm sick and tired of hearing the families of evil people telling us their family member is sick and has mental issues. If your family member has mental issues, lock him up before he kills some little girl.



• So binge drinkers are.... binge drinking?



• Sounds about right to me.



• Some people are lucky.



• This is why pigs don't make good pets.

Bah...

The Bruins have lost their last two games.

This kind of sucks.

⧫

As for the Red Sox, like I said the other day, it's going to be an interesting off-season. Alex Cora is no longer the manager and that means the new guy, Chaim Bloom, not only has to figure out how to build a winning team while staying below the luxury tax cap, he also has to find a new manager.

On top of that, David "Kanye West of Baseball" Price can't seem to stop talking and when that happens, he usually ends up saying something incredibly stupid.

Oh, and pitchers & catchers report in 27 days.

Bloom is gonna be a busy guy.

⧫

I've had my dinner and now I'm watching bad television.

While I do that, you can visit these:

• This is what is known as "really bad luck".



• Trust me, your dog does not want to listen to music. Your dog is not human and your dog does not enjoy the screechee electronic noises that it hears coming out of that mysterious box thing.



• When he's not presiding over impeachment trials in the Senate, Chief Justice Roberts is trying to decide if I'm be discriminated against.
  (For the record, the HR department where I work issued a statement saying the term "OK Boomer" is considered discriminatory and should never be used in the workplace.)



• I won't care because I'll be dead.



• No thanks, I'll pass.

Long day

I had a late meeting with a vendor (man, those guys like the sound of their own voice) and then, when I got home, I discovered my neighbors had returned from their three week trip to Arizona. I ended up giving them back their grill cover (it blew into me backyard during the high winds last week) and chatting with them for more than a bit.

After that is was dinner and then some cleanup. At some point in there, I managed to take care of The Dog.

So now I'm settled on my couch, watching the Bruins who are currently losing to the Blue Jackets.

I hate when they lose.

⧫

Here are a few links to entertain you:

• Key identifier in this story: "...a French woman..."



• This kind of stuff seems to happen a lot in China.



• Only in Florida.

Conference championships are up next.

The AFC Championship will be between the Tennessee Titans and the Kansas City Chiefs. The NFC Championship will be between the Green Bay Packers and the San Francisco 49rs.

I have no idea who I will be rooting for. In the NFC, I like Garappolo and I like Rogers. In the AFC, I like Mahomes and I like Tannehill. Anyone of them winning will make me happy.

Ideally, when it comes to the Superb Owl, I would like to see Mahomes v Rogers. I think it would be a good game to watch.

⧫

The Bruins are in Philadelphia to play the Flyers. The Flyers aren't having a great season but they are a pretty good team. They beat the Capitals last week so you know they can skate.

I'm thinking the Bruins can out-skate and out-shoot them

⧫

In the world of Baseball, the Houston Astros have fired their manager, A.J. Hinch, and their General Manager for sign stealing during the World Series.

The problem is, this sign stealing may extend to the Red Sox since their manager, Alex Cora, may have been involved with sign stealing.

It's going to be an interesting baseball off-season.

⧫

While I watch that game, you can click these links:

• So my question is, "Is that her baby or is it Quatto from Total Recall?"



• Here's a headline I never thought I see.



• Um, yuck.



• This looks.... uncomfortable. And weird. Very weird.

Hey! Guess who is first place!

With last night's win over the Islanders, the Bruins, the Capitals and the Blues are all tied for first place at 65 points each.

In the NHL, one of the tiebreakers is total wins in regulation (not in OT or a shoot-out). Well, Bruins have 24 regulation wins, the Blues have 23 and the Capitals have 21. That means the Bruins are in first place in the NHL.

First place is a good place to be.

⧫

This is the problem I have with our current version of the press.

That is not news. It doesn't even come close to news. Hell, it's not even a good fiction story. Why would they publish that story? And why are at least 50% of all "news" stories these day like that one?

They are pretty much all bullshit.

Even the ones that pretend to be real news are usually just somebody's opinion. They never tell you what going on, they tell why they think things are going but not what is going on.

I don't believe anyone. I don't believe FOX, I don't believe NBC, I don't believe ABC and I certainly don't believe CNN.

They are all opinionated liars.

⧫

I'm going to continue watching playoff football.

You can click on these:

• This is your brain. This is your brain on drugs. Any questions?



• Somebody's gonna get grounded.



• You gotta love The Sun. They have all the breaking news stories.



• Oh Canada.



• Key entry from our favorite police log: "1:51 a.m. A Columbia Falls man fell out of a chair."

Yes, there is hockey tonight

Due to my lateness yesterday, I neglected to mention that the Bruins beat the Jets on Thursday, closing the gap with the Capitals to 2 points.

The Bruins play the Islanders tonight and I'm really hoping they pull off a win. If the Bruins can win and the Capitals can lose, it will put them in a tie for first place.

⧫

Also due to my lateness yesterday, you got no links. Not so today.

Here are some links you can enjoy while I watch the second half of the Vikings/49rs game and then watch some hockey:

• I have never been to Jamaica but I suspect this is pretty normal for them.



• Key phrase in this story: "I can’t believe they let me out."



• And this, my friends, is why you store your backups on a seperate drive.



• I'm not sure if this is because the city sucks or she is an idiot.



• When your church has a pastor that did 13 year in prison for murder, it might be time for a new church.

Long day

I met up with the boys for beverages and didn't get home until late.

That means no post. Deal with it.

Bruins need a win.

The Capitals lost yesterday so the Bruins have a chance to pick up two points tonight.

That would be a good thing.

⧫

I'm not entirely sure why it's happening but the DJIA has been going up. This despite a President being impeached, a trade war with China and a potential war with Iran.

This is why I have a financial advisor - there is no way I will ever understand what drives the market.

⧫

I'm going to make some dinner and then watch some hockey.

You can click on these if you want:

• This is why I always double-check the fuel cap before departing.



• Apparently things are not getting better in Australia.



• Speaking of things no one would have ever connected...



• Key phrase in this video: "Off the toilet! Why would you steal my toilet seat?"

Late day.

I got home on time but then decided to head out for some food.

That means you get very little in the way of a post.

I will tell you that the Bruins won last night. It was a good game and I managed to watch to full periods before falling asleep.

⧫

Here's a link or two:

• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminal of the Day.



• Add the Dolphins to the mix and I'd say they have a valid point.

Long day today.

I had some meetings that ran long and I didn't get home until late. Fortunately for me and The Dog, I knew things were going to run long so I ran home at lunch and let him out.

The last thing I needed today was to come home to a "problem", if you catch my drift...

⧫

The Bruins are on at 8:00 tonight so I probably won't make it through all 3 periods. I hope that when I do fall asleep, they are in the lead and that lead hold throughout the game.

They are currently 4 points behind the Capitals and tied for second with the Blues.

They are playing the Predators who are not in a good place. They should be able to win this game but only if they play all 3 periods like the Bruins they should be. Taking a lead and then giving it away in the 3rd period is not going to win them any points.

⧫

I'm going to go make some dinner and then watch some hockey.

You can click on these links:

• The Japanese are completely insane.



• Only in Florida.



• Also only in Florida.



• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminal(s) of the Month.

Took another day off

The Dog, who is elderly and declining faster than I like, had some major issues last night.

Basically, I was awoken at 2:00 this morning to the sounds of what I thought was a fight between two elephants in my living room. I ran downstairs to find The Dog with no use of his back-end, laying spread eagle on the floor.

Did I mention that he had an accident? Apparently the use of his back legs wasn't the only part of his back-end he did not have control over....

So I spent the next two hours carrying him outside, cleaning the living room floor, carrying him upstairs and giving him a bath, carrying him back downstairs and laying him in his bed, taking my clothes outside to hose them off and then taking a shower.

Then, since he was a panting, nervous wreck, I grabbed a pillow off my bed and went down to sleep on the couch so he had me near him.

At some point in there, I sent my boss an email saying, "I won't be in today. See you tomorrow."

As of this morning, he has regained some use of his legs and is able, with some effort, to get himself outside when the need arises. The rest of the time he spends laying on his bed, snoring.

I'm really hoping tonight goes a lot better.

⧫

Here are some links:

• Not all heroes wear capes. Some wear nothing at all.



• All were ever got in our pool were frogs and chipmunks.



• Only in Florida.



• He's English. It's not like they have great teeth to begin with...



• Vermont: Come for the maple syrup. Stay for the hookers.

They were wrong...

It turns out the so-called "sports experts" were wrong. The Titans beat the Patriots by 7 points, not the predicted 3 points.

Turns out I was also wrong.

So now the players are on vacation and the coaches are spending a lot of time trying to figure out what that team will look like next season. Something tells me it will look a lot different than it did this past season.

Now the only thing left in my sports world are the Bruins and despite being in second place in the NHL, they aren't doing a lot of winning lately.

On the upside, there are only 37 days until pitchers and catchers report to spring training and I can start agonizing over baseball again.

Hopefully, this year, there will be joy in Mudville!

⧫

Here are a few links that you can click on:

• Well, I'm betting this was more than a little embarrassing.



• Another reason I don't go to New York City.



• California: It's a great place to live...



• Oh good, here we go again with that SAR / H1N1 / Bird flu thing.



• Only in Florida.

There is football tonight.

The Patriots are playing a do-or-die wild card game against the Titans at 8:15 this evening and the several of the so-called "sports experts" have the Patriots losing by 3 points.

I'm not saying that Tannehill is going to fail miserably and fall apart but I do think that the Patriots are coming off an embarrassing loss at the hands of the Dolphins so I suspect they are going to be pretty fired up.

I personally think the Patriots will win by 7 to 10 points.

If I'm wrong, so be it but I don't think I'm wrong. The one thing the Patriots, as a team, have proven over the years is their ability to overcome and kick ass when they need to.

⧫

The Bruins managed to lose to the Oilers this afternoon and are currently 2 points behind the Capitals in the NHL

April is going to sneak up on them if they don't get their act together and start winning games.

⧫

Here are some links that you can visit if you like:

• Listen up everybody: It should come as no surprise to anyone that disrespecting your employer/boss on social media is usually the first, and sometimes only, step to termination. Shut up and do your job.



• Yay racism!



• I've come to the conclusion that finding ways to sue companies or cities/towns is a pretty lucrative line of work.



• Only in Florida.



• It's only a matter of time before they ban those things.



• Key phrase in this story: "...the burger ended up forgotten in a coat pocket for several years..."



• Sure he does....

First sick day in three years

My headcold re-blossomed yesterday and I decided that rather than filling my office wastebasket with kleenex again today, I would stay home and take it easy.

⧫

The freakin' Bruins freakin' lost in a freakin' shoot out again last night but since the freakin' Capitals were off, the Bruins picked up one point for the regulation tie and are now tied for first place with the Capitals.

Despite losing games, they continue to chip away at points. And that, after all, is all that matters come April when the payoffs begin.

⧫

You can visit these links if you want:

• I liked this. You might like it too.



• Oh Canada.



• Duh. Anyone at the local bar could tell you that.



• Yes, alcohol was involved.



• The mug shot says it all.



• Here's your Naked Guy In The News story.

Back to school

My daughter and the small emergency backup dog are back in Iowa, preparing to start the final push.

This is her last semester and trust me, she is ready to be done.

⧫

The Bruins are playing the Blue Jackets this evening and I will be vocally encouraging them to win this game.

No more of this "leading by two goals for 2 ½ periods and then lose in overtime because you suck!" crap. They need to grab the lead and hold on to it for all three periods.

⧫

Here are some links:

• Here's your Naked Guy In The News story.



• Wasn't this a scene from A Fish Named Wanda?



• Soon to be a major motion picture directed by Michael Bay and starring Bruce Willis & Woody Harrelson .



• Cats: They aren't dogs. You don't gotta love them if you don't want to.



• This kind of thing you see on the Mass pike all the time.



• No thanks, I'll stick with a hot shower and a bar of soap.

Guess who made it to midnight last night!

I don't know how I did it but I watched the ball drop at midnight last night alongside my wife and daughter. Then I looked at the two of them and said, "Goodnight ladies. I'm going to bed." They asked if I wanted to stay up and watch somebody called Jonas Brothers, who I'm guessing is related to Dr. Joyce Brothers, but I said no thank you.

I was asleep in bed a few minutes later.

Hey, what can I tell you, my party days are behind me. As I said to John yesterday, "My idea of a party is stopping at Tommy's at 5:00, having 3 beers with the boys, getting home by 7:00 and asleep in bed by 9:00."

⧫

So, here are a few New Years thoughts for you:

It's 2020. Try not to write or type 2019 when you put the date on something. Hell, try not to write the date at all. We've got computer programs like Word that automatically put the date on anything you are typing. Use them.

You know that saying a lot of fitness clubs like to use, "A New Year, a New You!" Well screw them. Maybe there is nothing wrong with the old you. Maybe we all like you the way you are. Maybe you shouldn't spend a lot of time stressing yourself out trying to be a new you. It's okay to be the old you.

If you failed to resolve last years "New Years Resolution", allow me to remind you that I am successful at resolving my resolutions every year because every year I resolve is to never make any resolutions. You should try it.

During 2019, I discovered that if you feed your dog grain-free dog food, he won't fart as much. It kinda pisses me off that we spent the past eleven freakin' years living with a dog that had nuclear farts and all we had to do to fix that was stop giving him food with grain in it.

That's all I have for New Years thoughts right now. I assume that at some point in the coming year, I'll have more thoughts for you but they won't be New Years thoughts.

⧫

There was some good hockey news yesterday: both the Capitals and the Blues lost.

This means that since the Bruins tied the Devils in regulation, they picked up one point in the standings. They are now tied for second with the Devils and are only one point behind the Capitals.

They still need to go on a winning streak if they want to capture first place. The season is at the halfway point and there is still a lot of hockey left to be played but staying on top is easier than climbing up there.

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Take these links and click them:

• They will be divorced within 5 years.



• Key phrase in this story: "It was not immediately known whose crane it was, and cops were unsure what the tag 'Bird God' referred to."



• Those darned Amish Hooligans.



• I always laugh out loud when I read the part of the label that defines what a "single serving" is.