The 2013 baseball season has come to an end.

Last night, the Red Sox managed to step on home plate more than the Cardinals and at 11:45pm, they became the Major League Baseball Champions by winning the World Series.

I managed to stay awake through the second inning. Then, I woke up in the fourth inning to see a score of 4-0. then I woke up in the ninth inning to see Uehara throw the final pitch of a 6-1 game. That was when my cell phone went off with texts from my two boys.

I rustled up enough "awakeness" to reply to the first text but that was it - I fell back into a nice alcohol-fueled sleep and stayed that way until 5:00am.

I'm glad the Red Sox won but I can't help but ask, "Now what am I supposed to do in the evenings? There is no baseball to watch until next April 1st."

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Here are some links:

• Yes, alcohol was involved.



• Black Market Monkeys would be a great name for a 1960s hippie band.



• Key phrase from our favorite police blotter: "11:52 a.m. A resident on Klondyke Loop reported that a small 'taco dog' just ran through his yard. The animal warden advised the dog owner that his Chihuahua was loose again."

Happy Birthday to my little girl.

She turned 22 today and she spent it in a biochem class, a physics class and a biochem lab.

I seem to recall my 22nd birthday was spent partying with friends...

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Is tonight the night the Red Sox win the World Series or will the Cardinals tie the series and we'll all get to watch another baseball game tomorrow night?

I'm kind of hoping the Red Sox finish off the Cardinals tonight and we can fall asleep early tomorrow.

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Today was my friend Pat last day of work with us. After just about 24 years of service with the company, Pat has decided he needs a break from the place and is going to strike out on his own.

I think Pat has made a wise decision. He will do well for himself and probably have a lot more fun than those of us he leaves behind.

So anyways, since it was Pats last day, I took him out for some adult beverages. That means not only am I tired, I am also processing alcohol through my system.

Wish me luck trying to stay awake for tonights ball game....

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Click these or not. Your call:

• Drunks on lawnmowers.



• Why is this news?



• Nice. Real nice....



• Sounds like the store owner needs to spend more time practicing at the range.

They are going back to Boston with a 3-2 lead.

Today is a travel day for the Cardinals and the Red Sox as they fly from St. Louis to Boston. They will pick up the series back in Fenway tomorrow (Wednesday) night and I'm really hoping that the Red Sox finish it off then.

I love watching baseball but I'm tired.

I need to start getting some decent sleep and these freakin' "8pm to midnight" games are making it hard for me to do that.

*

I would like to say to the Obama Administration that I really don't care if they spy on Germany or France or Spain or Canada or Brazil or any other nation for that matter.

I do, however, care deeply about the fact that they are spying on Americans.

We have a Fourth Amendment Right to "to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures" and any collection of electronic data is unreasonable.

Stop it. Stop it right now.

And to the media, please stop being steered away from the stories about governmental violations of the Constitution. Please stop talking about how bad it is of the US Government to spy on its allies and start talking about how bad it is for the US Government to spy on its citizens.

Stop it. Stop it right now.

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While I fall asleep early because there is no baseball to watch, you can click on these links:

• Key phrase in this story: "...went to his pregnant neighbor's trailer..."



• This is why I never go golfing when I go to Vegas. Those people are kinda crazy.



• Researchers: Contributing to the betterment of our society or a complete waste of perfectly good oxygen?

Not much to say.

Today was an interesting day that involved my spending a couple of hours in the dentist chair. I'm finally getting a new tooth to replace one that I had to have pulled this spring. So today was the day they took castings of my mouth so they could build this new tooth.

Next month they will mount the new tooth to the implant that was put into my jaw.

And that, my friends, is when I will be able to eat potato chips on the left side of my mouth.

*

Having said that, let me add that I am now done.

No links today.

Well, that was an interesting ending to a ball game.

I'm not going to argue against the umpires but I am going to say that I think they kind of stretched the rule a bit. And to do that when they knew it would result in the winning run crossing the plate was a bit much.

And that's all I have to say about that.

Tonight's game needs to go a lot better. Bucholz is pitching and no one, I mean no one, expects him to pitch well.

I'm hoping all the news reports about his "problems" are nothing more than a clever ploy on Farrell's part to mislead the Cardinals.

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I watched all of last nights game but since I have to work tomorrow, I probably won't make it much past the 5th inning.

While I do that, here are some links you might enjoy:

• It's the old, "Obama made me do it!" defense.



• Not quite what you expect when sitting on the toilet.



• Wait. Are they saying this is against the law?

They need to win tonight.

Tonight is the start of three games in St. Louis and the Red Sox need to win two of them. That will send them back to Boston with 3-2 lead in the series.

I would really love to see them go back to Boston with a lead.

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I cleaned all the leaves off my lawn this morning. It seemed like a good idea at the time but the wind decided it was a bad idea and blew all of my neighbors leaves onto my lawn.

Fortunately, since I mowed the lawn, the grass was short and the leaves just kept right on blowing over to my other neighbors yard.

Sucks to be him.

*

While you click links, I'm gonna watch baseball:

• Best Halloween costume ever.



• This is why dogs are our best friends.



• Key phrase in this story: "Have you ever wished your undergarments could be more social?"



• Key phrase in this story: "...myself, being an alcoholic, I was trying to get my beer out."



• Only in Pennsylvania.

I'm tired and not happy.

The Red Sox managed to throw the game away last night and the series is now tied 1-1. They travel to St. Louis today to play the next three games and the Red Sox need to win at least two of those games.

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What is the difference between gun violence, knife violence and car violence?

There is no difference. It's all violence.

The tool used to conduct the violence is meaningless. Guns, knives and cars are incapable of having thoughts or emotions and as such cannot have violent thoughts or conduct violent acts. Only people are capable of conducting violent acts.

I would like the media in general to stop using the term "gun violence" and start calling it "human violence". By saying "human violence", people might eventually come to understand that there are some serious problems in our society and we are not addressing them.

We, as a society, need to stop blaming inanimate objects for our problems.

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Here are some links:

• All those idiots with thick gold chains and socks stuffed into their underwear will be lining up to buy this.



• Oops.



• For those of you that listen to celebrities, here's a video that Hollywood made about the NSA.

I'm tired but happy.

No, I did not watch the entire game last night. I did, however, manage to stay awake until 10:00. That is past my bedtime so today I was tired.

Tonight, I'm aiming to watch the entire game but I suspect that once again I'll max-out at 10:00 and be sound asleep during the last three or four innings.

So the Red Sox managed to hit the ball pretty damned well and score some runs which is quite a change from the ALCS. But the big story is the collection of little-leaguers that showed up to play for the Cardinals.

I watched Kozma, the Cardinals short-stop, misplay at least three balls hit to him as well as blowing a catch from the second baseman that resulted in a bad call from the umpire being overturned.

I watched Wainwright, the pitcher, wave off the catcher and the infielders on a pop up that he then let drop in front of him. He stared at the ball on it's way down like he was seeing a UFO that was about to anal-probe him.

I suspect that Mike Matheny was more than a little upset with his team and he probably gave them a stern talking to. I also suspect that they will show up on the field this evening looking to rebound. That means the Red Sox need to show up with their A-game.

Let's hope lackey continues to be outstanding and holds the Cardinals to no hits.

That would be nice.

You what's nice about the World Series? I mean, besides the baseball stuff? It's all the non-baseball stuff that happens.

Usually the mayors of the cities make side bets, the governors of the states do a little trash talking and the fans of the teams generally make fools of themselves in front of whatever TV camera they can find.

Along those lines, the BSO and the SLSO created a great trash-talk music video congratulating their teams.

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That's enough talk about baseball, it's time to watch baseball.

You can click on these links if you want:

• Why do I have the feeling he is lying to her...



• More proof that our species is kinda stupid.



• Seems to me the cops could just look for some guy who can't stop farting.

I'm going to watch baseball.

While I'm watching game one of the World Series, you can contemplate the following thought I had:

When the Affordable Health Care Act finally kicks into gear and there are no longer any uninsured citizens in the United States, what happens to places like Saint Jude Children's Hospitals or The Shriner's Hospitals or The Children's Miracle Network?

Those charitable health providers exist solely to provide medical care to folks that don't have insurance or can't afford to pay the medical bills. Once ObamaCare is running, no one will be uninsured and you & I will be paying the medical bills for everyone.

Since there will no longer be a need for charitable hospitals, what will become of them?

And in the same thought, what about other charities?

Since my taxes will inevitably increase to cover the cost of providing medical services to those in need, what incentive do I have to donate any additional money to charities that supply health care to the needy?

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Here are a few links:

• Look everybody! It's the religion of peace!



• Yuck.



• Apparently Florida's "Stand Your Ground" law doesn't apply to water pistols.



• Key phrase in this story: "Scott explained to deputies that her boyfriend kept walking into her knife."



• Yes, alcohol was involved. And makeup. Lots of makeup....

One more day until baseball.

I feel like I am going through baseball withdrawal.

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Political correctness isn't really political correctness and diversity isn't really diversity.

Over the last few years, it has become taboo for people to say Merry Christmas. The reason it's become taboo is beyond me. Maybe it's because some thin-skinned little dweeb was offended by the greeting or, even more likely, some thin-skinned little dweeb was afraid someone else would be offended by the greeting and said that we shouldn't say it anymore for fear of upsetting our non-christian brothers.

In keeping with his tradition, our esteemed governor has refused to say "Merry Christmas" for as long as he has been in office. He substitutes "Merry Christmas" with phrases like "Happy Holidays" or "At this time of the year". He does this in the interest of diversity and in keeping with his politically-correct approach to life.

For instance, here is a greeting to the troops he recorded in December of 2012.

Now, the reason I say that diversity and political correctness aren't always what they seem is because of his recent decision to record a greeting for the folks who partake in a certain religious belief.

Take a look at this video he made at the beginning of this month.

Can you tell the difference?

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These links are here for you:

• Key phrase in this story: "...details about the United States spying on its own citizens."



• Attention dog owners: Check what you are giving your dog.



• Just another reason for me to question the truthfulness of our government.

I like extra days off.

My daughter came home last Friday and she's heading back to school on Tuesday so I took today off to hang out with her.

Oh, and since she sleeps until noon when she's home, I was able get some yard work done as well.

I wish I was able to sleep until noon.

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I listened to John Farrell's press conference today on WEEI and he announced the starting pitcher will be Jon Lester.

He also talked about what the team in general and I gotta tell you that when John Farrell talks about the Red Sox players, he sounds like a proud dad.

He loves those guys.

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Here are today's links:

• He's a well liked man, a hell of a good coach and a highly respected manager. Fortunately for the Tigers, he will still be around, just not as the manager.



• In other baseball news, MLB announced that someone named Blige will be singing the National Anthem at Fenway on Wednesday. I hope she isn't one of those 'make the song my own' kind of singers. It's the National Anthem fer cripes sake. Sing it the way it's supposed to be sung, dammit.



• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminal of the Week.

There will be at least four more baseball games

I love baseball.

I love watching baseball

I love watching the Red Sox play baseball.

Since the Red Sox won the American League Championship last night, I get to watch the Red Sox play at least four more baseball games.

And those games will be called the World Series.

Oh, and by the way: No, I was not able to stay awake for the entire game last night but I did wake up in time to see the Uehara strike out the last batter.

Then I fell back to sleep.

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This is an interesting image:

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You can try these links:

• Yes, alcohol was involved.



• The Universal Law of Urination.



• The TSA in action.



• I would like to know who the hell spends money to discover this crap.

I have got to stay awake for this game

I was all happy about today's 4:30 Red Sox game.

Yes sir, I was cranked up and ready to watch.

It was gonna be great. I was going to sit down in front of my special coaching TV and watch the Red Sox play what could be the deciding game of the 2013 American League Championship Series.

Then, on a whim, the freakin' idiots from Major League Baseball decided that since the NLCS was all done with, they could move the ALCS to 8:30 instead of 4:30.

So now, I have to struggle to stay awake until midnight if I want to watch the entire game.

Just when I thought it was going to be the best day ever....

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You can click on these. Or not. Your choice:

• Sound advice.



• It's the old "I gotta pee!" defense.



• Baaaa, dude....

They are going back to Boston with a lead.

Last nights ball game was a great game for the Red Sox and they are returning home with a 3-2 lead. There is no American League game tonight, just a National League game.

As it stands right now, the Red Sox are scheduled to host the Tigers at 4:30 on Saturday afternoon and the Cardinals will host the Dodgers at 8:30 on Saturday evening. If the Cardinals win tonight, the National League series will be over and they won't have to play on Saturday. That means the Red Sox game will be moved from it's 4:30 slot to 8:30 on Saturday.

Either way, I will watch it.

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I got very little sleep last night so my current plan is to fall asleep while watching tonight's game.

You can click on these links while I snore loudly:

• No one ever said you had to be smart to be a scout leader.



• They must have some tough squirrels in Tennessee.



• Holy Crap! Scroll to the bottom.



• Key phrase in this story: "he was not wearing any pants and that he had urinated on himself"

The series is tied.

Peavey did not have a great night last night but, hey, sometimes that happens. I still think the guy is a hell of a pitcher.

Hopefully Lester has one of his famous "lights out" kind of nights and the Red Sox return to Boston with a 3-2 lead.

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So now that the federal government is back at work, I wonder how long it will take for the average American to forget this sordid little affair and re-elect all of the morons who caused it?

Probably not long.

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While I struggle to stay awake and watch baseball, you can visit these links:

• As far as I'm concerned, she was probably the sanest one in the room.



• This story has almost all of the good elements: A drunk naked chick in Florida smashing the windows on her ex-boyfriends van. If it happened in a trailer park, it would be perfect.



• If you only see one movie this year, make it Big Ass Spider.



• Only in Pennsylvania.



• What a loving family....

FOX sports doesn't get it.

To all the talking heads on FOX sports, do yourself a favor and stop drooling over the Tiger starting pitchers.

Yes, Justin Verlander is a good pitcher and I understand that you are so much in love with him that you would all like to line up and perform oral sex on him but just once I would like to hear one of you say, "John Lackey did a hell of a job when he beat Verlander last night."

You keep reminding us that the Tigers have Sanchez, Scherzer, Verlander and Fister.
You keep reminding us that the Tigers have Cabrerra, Fielder, Hunter and Peralta.

Let me remind you that the Tigers don't lead the series 2-1.

Let me remind you that the Red Sox have Lester, Bucholz, Lackey and Peavey.
Let me remind you that the Red Sox have Ortiz, Pedroia, Ellsbury and Napoli.

Let me remind you that the Red Sox lead the series 2-1.

My hat's off to Jonny Gomes for verbally slapping Erin "Yes, I'm a dingbat!" Andrews upside the head when she approached him on the field after last nights Red Sox win and asked what he thought of Verlander. His response was priceless when he said something to the effect of,

"Yea, let's turn that around and talk about John Lackey, the guy who won the game. Wasn't he great."

I'm not saying that it's a given that the Red Sox will win the series but I am saying that at some point, you all need to accept the fact that they are as good, if not better, than the Tigers.

*

Here are some links:

• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminal of the Week.



• Here's your Naked Guy In The News story.



• I've never watched 'Game of Thrones' but after seeing this, I might just have to start.



• Only in Florida.

Finally, a game I was able to watch

Today's game was on at 4:00 and, despite a twenty minute delay due to a power outage, I managed to watch the entire thing. That's right, I watched all nine innings.

And it was a hell of a good game to watch. Verlander and Lackey pitched a hell of a game with neither one giving an inch until the seventh when Napoli hit a home run, scoring the games first run.

Oh yea, it was also the games only run and the Red Sox made up for losing that first game of the series at home.

They now lead the series 2-1.

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Time for a public service announcement.

Attention politicians, liberal fanatics, conservative nutcases, welfare douchebags, religious fruitcakes and diversity assholes:

The majority of us don't like you. We don't like your insane ideas,  we don't like your political beliefs and we especially don't like your lack of moral character.

This has been your public service announcement. We now return you to your disfunctional, petty little lives.

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Try these links:

• Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a new superhero.



• It's the Hap-Hap-Happiest place on Earth!



• How many houses do you have to drive into before they take away your drivers license?



• Fake Italian Penis would be a great name for a 1970s porn movie.



• Our school administrators in action.... Our stupid, arrogant, robotic school administrators.

Like I said the other day, it's a hell of a match up.

The Red Sox managed to pull one out of their collective a$$e$ last night and win the second game of the series. They are now tied 1-1 with the Tigers.

Like I said, these are two well-matched teams and it shows. The first game ended 1-0 and the second game ended 6-5. And what's even more amazing is that I manage to stay awake until the 4th inning! Imagine that! They won without my help!

There is no ALCS game tonight but the NLCS game is on TBS at 8:00pm and I suspect I will be watching at least the first four innings of that game. I'm enjoying seeing the Dodgers lose and I'm hoping they do that again tonight.

*

It's a damned shame that I think the Communist Chinese are making more sense than my own government. If the United States can't get it's shit together and act like the world leaders that we used to be, then maybe it's time we let someone else take on the role of world economic leader.

The planet doesn't need a bunch of arrogant spoiled brats running it's economic affairs.

Two years ago, the European Union was experiencing a crisis so bad that several of it's members gave serious consideration to dropping the Euro as their currency. And I'm not talking about small little nations Elbostan or Yugobania. I'm talking about Germany, Greece, Italy, etc...

One month ago the Euro was worth $1.32. Today, the Euro is worth $1.39. In other words, the value of the dollar is dropping against a currency that was hit so hard be the recession that several nations almost stopped using it.

What does that say about the us....

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You might like these links:

• Key ironic phrase in this story: "Obama says the problem is politicians using brinkmanship to extract partisan concessions." (Does he not realize that he is a politician?)



• And speaking of stupid things my government is doing...



• Some people take Halloween a little too seriously...



• Yes, alcohol was involved.

Well that sucks.

The only thing worse than losing the first game of a series is losing the first game of a series at home.

I thought Lester pitched okay but Sanchez pitched a hell of a lot better. That man was on fire and the Red Sox couldn't hit anything he threw. The Tigers almost had a no-hitter until Nava popped a single in the ninth, which I never saw because I had fallen asleep somewhere in the fifth or sixth inning.

I'm hoping they hit the ball a lot more tonight, specially in the innings that I'm awake to see.

*

These links might entertain you:

• I suppose if you're gonna steal a banana, it might as well be a 6 foot banana.



• It's the old, "I needed time to finish my Big Mac" defense.



• Key phrase in this story about a very tough man: "...so I says, If you're going to hurt me, I’m going to hurt you too."



• Another reason why I don't go to New York.

Game One

The Red Sox and the Tigers go at it this evening at 8:00 pm. I will be watching as much of the game as I can which is another way of saying I'm hoping to see at least 4 innings before I go unconscious....

In the NLCS, the Cardinals lead their series against the Dodgers two games to none. It's good to see that Carl Crawford still can't play baseball....

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While I'm watching baseball, you can click these links:

• My cousin posted this video on her Facebook timeline. Trust me, turn up your sound.



• It's the old, 'Jesus made me do it' defense.



• You have got to love dogs.



• Yes, alcohol was involved.

It's a hell of a match up.

During the regular season, the Tigers & the Red Sox faced each other seven times and the Tigers won four of those games. Three of the four losses to the Red Sox came at home during a slump they were going through in June.

Of those seven games, four were in Detroit and the Red Sox lost three of them. Three were played in Boston and the Red Sox lost one of them.

In the away games, the Red Sox scored a total of 21 runs and the Tigers scored a total of 27 runs.

In the home games, the Red Sox scored a total of 22 runs and the Tigers scored a total of 8 runs.

Over all seven games, the Red Sox scored a total of 43 runs and the Tigers scored a total of 35 runs.

What does all that mean? Nothing. It means nothing at all. It's just a bunch of meaningless numbers.

No matter how you look at it and how you analyze the history of the two teams, no one can predict what is going to happen on any given day. No one can say who is going to step on home plate more than the other guy.

All anyone can say is it's going to be a hell of a match up. These are two good teams and they will both play their hearts out to win this series.

And I will enjoy watching every moment of it that I can manage to stay awake for.

*

On the other hand, I feel bad for Billy Beane and his Oakland Athletics.

As the general manager of the team, as well as the subject of the movie "Money Ball", Beane has built a winning franchise out of nothing. The Athletics are a small market team, competing for fans and revenue, with the San Francisco Giants and, as such, they don't have a lot of money. They can't afford to pay exorbitant salaries to their players.

What they do have is a guy with a plan and some mad skillz at identifying and acquiring some of the best players in the major league. As a matter of fact, five of the current Athletics used to be Red Sox players - Jed Lowrie, Brandon Moss, Bartolo Colon, Josh Reddick and Coco Crisp all played for the Red Sox in the recent past.

If you have never seen the movie "Money Ball", watch it. It's not an action-adventure or a romantic-comedy and if you don't care about baseball, you'll find it boring as hell. But if you love the game, you'll enjoy the movie.

And for you ladies out there, Brad Pitt plays the part of Billy Beane

*

Here are some links that you might like:

• And then there was one...



• What the hell is wrong with our species...



• Let me repeat that because it bears repeating: "What the hell is wrong with our species..."



• Looks like Roy Gutfinski Jr. is finally going to court. I'm betting that Roy Gutfinski Senior. is damned glad that Roy Gutfinski Junior changed his name to Caius Veiovis.



• Let me rephrase the key phrase from this story just a bit: "We support tolerance and we won't tolerate anyone that disagrees with us!"

The final divisional game will be played this evening at 8:00pm.

The Tigers and the Athletics will go at it in the final game of their series and once that game ends, we will know who is going to Boston to play the Red Sox in the ALCS.

As for the NLCS, unfortunately, the Pirates couldn't do it and they ended up losing to the Cardinals last night. This means the Dodgers are headed to St. Louis to play the Cardinals. Since we all know I could care less about the Dodgers, I guess I'm kind of rooting for the Cardinals.

But I don't really care all that much about the National League now that the Pirates are out of it. All I care about is who is going to get beat by the Red Sox.

*

While I fall asleep watching baseball, you can click these links:

• One of the great things the internet has provided us, besides unlimited access to porn, is the ability to post comments on news stories. Some of them are funny as hell.



• Welcome to Philadelphia, the City of Brotherly Love.... (The guy is blind for cripes sake.)



• This years winners of The Darwin Award are Lucas Bourke and Ethan Keeler.



• Yes, alcohol was involved.



• Never forget that stupid people are all around us.

The next Red Sox game will be Saturday.

Despite my falling asleep in the middle of the fourth inning, the Red Sox managed to end the Rays season last night.

The next game they play will be sometime on Saturday but since the schedule stills has it as "TBD", I have no idea what time it will be played. I have a feeling it's going to be in the afternoon but we'll see what the league decides. I do know that it will be played in Boston.

Who the Red Sox will be playing is currently undetermined. The Athletics managed to blow a three run lead yesterday, bringing their series against the Tigers to a 2-2 tie. The final game will be tomorrow night at 8:00 and the winner will pack up and head to Boston for the first game of the American League Championship Series.

Over in the National League, the Dodgers are waiting to find out who they will play on Friday. The Cardinals and the Pirates are currently in Pittsburgh where they will face off in the final game of the NLDS series this evening at 8:00.

I've said it before and I'll say it again - I'm rooting for the Pirates. Go Bucs!

*

They're aghast, ashamed and embarrassed.

What they should be is impeached, fired and jailed. All of them.

*

The links are here:

• I might have been wrong the other day when I said, "Pretty soon, recess will be a bunch of kids sitting in padded chairs with their hands at their sides and not looking at, or talking to, each other."  Now I'm thinking they probably won't be allowed to have chairs...



• Key phrase in this educational story from every schoolboy's favorite magazine: "By that time, females are, not surprisingly, avoiding them."

Damn. They should have won that game last night.

Despite taking the loss, Bucholz pitched a pretty good game. They should have won but all it took was a pitch in the ninth inning that, despite being down and away, was turned into a home run by a guy who doesn't hit a lot of home runs..

Hopefully tonight they remember to step on home plate more times than the Rays and they walk away knowing their next baseball game will be the start of the ALCS.

As for the NLDS, the Dodgers won the requisite three games against the Braves and their next game will be this Friday when the NLCS starts.

Like I said before, I could care less about the Dodgers and the Braves. The only NL team I really care about is the Pirates and I'm hoping the they get into the NLCS and kick the Dodgers ass back to LA where they belong.

*

Have I mentioned that John Boehner and Barack Obama are arrogant a-holes?

Let me repeat that for you because it bears repeating: John Boehner and Barack Obama are arrogant a-holes.

When both the President of the United States and the Speaker of the House are unwilling to sit down and do what needs to be done, it's time to consider impeachment for both of them.

*

While I fall asleep watching the Red Sox, you can visit these links:

• Ladies and Gentlemen, meet the latest member of the A-Team. Watch the end with the chase across the parking lot. It's a regular "Benny Hill" moment.



• Key phrase in this story: "I feel that I was chosen to help the skunks..."



• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminal of the Year.



• Oops.

Another day of baseball overdose.

I love overdosing on baseball.

1. I paid attention (via the interwebs) to the Athletics vs. Tigers at 1:00. The Athletics won and now have a 2-1 lead in the series.
2. I paid attention (via the interwebs) to the Cardinals vs. Pirates at 3:00. The Pirates lost and the series is now tied 2-2.
3. I am watching (via my special coaching TV) the Red Sox play the Rays at 6:00.
4. I'm going to sleep through (in my special coaching recliner) the Braves playing the Dodgers at 9:30.

*

These links may entertain you:

• In case you were wondering, Krazy Kim is still krazy.



• Key phrase in this story: "...took off all of her clothes and continued to fight, kick, and yell..."



• Curt Schilling's "stuff" is up for sale. I'm pretty sure the last thing I ever want to wear is Curt Schilling's old bathrobe.

One more to go.

The Red Sox are now up 2-0 in their series against the Rays. They need to win one more game to move on to the ALCS. Tomorrow they will play down in Tampa and you can bet that the Rays fans (what few fans they have) will make every effort to screw with the Red Sox.

It will be interesting to see who can maintain his composure and who decides to lose it because that is probably going to be the deciding factor.

As for the Pirates, they are tied 1-1 with the Cardinals with a 4:30 game in Pittsburgh this afternoon. Liriano is pitching and the last time he pitched was the NL Wild Card against the Reds and no one could hit his stuff.

Hopefully they take advantage of the home field advantage they have over the next two games and win both of them. It would be nice to see them win and move into the NLCS.

*

Try these links:

• The TSA in action.



• It's the old "adjusting his shorts" defense.



• I'm not sure what her name is but she's the latest member of the A-Team.



• Hey, he tried to tell them....

The TBS baseball announcers are idiots.

During yesterdays Red Sox / Rays game, in the fourth inning, the Rays right fielder screwed up and let a ball drop in front of him.

Maybe he lost it in the sun. Maybe he he lost it against a cloud. Maybe he's a crappy outfielder. Whatever the reason, he screwed it up and dropped the ball.

The TBS announcers immediately said that "maybe someone in the Red Sox bullpen yelled 'I got it' and caused him to back off." They repeated that contention several times throughout the game because they were fascinated that the Rays right fielder missed the ball.

So after 5 more innings of baseball and repeating it at least twice each inning that maybe "someone in the Red Sox bullpen called the guy off the ball", they were making it clear that they were convinced someone in the Red Sox bullpen had intentionally called the guy off the ball.

After the game, someone asked him what happened and he said, "I didn't hear anything from their bullpen, "I didn't hear anything but the crowd yelling."

Now the TBS announcers are saying that it must have been a ghost or something that caused the guy to back off.

Screw you Keith Olberman and the rest of the TBS announcers.

The guy screwed up and you tried to blame it on the Red Sox.

Now, instead of being a man and admitting you were wrong, you're gonna hide behind some "It must have been a ghost!" line even after the guy stood in front of the media and said, "I screwed up. I should have made the catch."

Screw you.

Apologize to the Red Sox for accusing them of being bush league like Alex Rodriguez. They have the best record in all of baseball and they worked damned hard to get where they are.

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Here are some links:

• Sometimes the weather guys have a sense of humor.



• My only question is, "Why?"



• Pretty soon, recess will be a bunch of kids sitting in padded chairs with their hands at their sides and not looking at, or talking to, each other.

He was a good boy. He was turning his life around....

If you've been following the news lately, you may have seen the stories about the bikers attacking a SUV in New York and one of the bikers getting run over. The bikers wife (girlfriend?) made the following statement:

"When all the bikers stopped, my husband got out, parked his bike to walk over to try to help his friend. He walked over towards the front of the vehicle when, at this point, I don’t know what happened the man was scared, the man just peeled off and ran over my husband."

She also says:

“Everyone wants to blame the bikers for something this man did.”

Now ordinarily, I'm an open-minded guy who is willing to accept what people say as the truth....

Wait....  That's a lie.

I'm a cynical SOB who is pretty sure most people are full of shit and the reason I think that is because I'm right more than 80% of the time.

Turns out his wife (girlfriend?) is a lying sack of weasel crap and he's nothing more than a rice-rocket-ridin', rap-yakin' scumbag who was out with his fellow scumbags, looking to cause as much trouble as possible.

I'm not seeing any downside to our society if he ends up paralyzed for life. Granted our society would be a lot better off if he died but I'll take paralyzed. It's hard for a scumbag in a wheelchair to cause trouble. And if he ever does cause trouble, he'll be easy for the cops to catch.

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I left work a little early today to get home in time to watch some of the Red Sox / Rays game. I made it home in time to catch the 4th inning when the Red Sox turned a 0-2 deficit into a 5-2 lead.

And to make my day even better, they managed to completely trounce the Rays with a final score of 12-2.

I love when they trounce the Rays.

As for the Pirates, they managed to even the series 1-1 by beating the Cardinals 7-1 this afternoon.

It's been a good day for baseball.

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Here are a few links you can click on while I continue overdosing on baseball:

• We don't pay cops enough....



• Here's your Naked Guy in the News story.



• It's gonna get messy in Colorado Springs....



• As I said the other day, the Japanese are crazy.

Well, so much for the Indians.

They managed to avoid stepping on home plate during all nine innings last night and ended up losing to the Rays 4-0. That means the Rays will be heading to Boston to start their best-of-five game series against the Red Sox tomorrow at 3:07pm. Which may be a weird time but it's a better time then 3:07am.

Regardless of what time they play, we are really hoping that the Red Sox kick their asses. The Red Sox need to win both home games and then the first away game so they finish this quickly and get some days off before going up against either the Tigers or the Athletics on October 12th.

At 5:00 this afternoon, the Pirates began losing to the Cardinals. This is the first game of a best-of-five series and, as stated previously, we are rooting for the Pirates. We like the Pirates almost as much as we like the Red Sox. The Cardinals are okay but they're not as okay as the Pirates and they are definitely far less okay than the Red Sox.

At 8:30 this evening, the Dodgers will start their best-of-five series against the Braves in Atlanta. As not stated previously but stated now, we don't care who wins this. I could care less about either the Braves or the Dodgers. In my mind, they are aliens from a planet in another solar system and I hope they both lose.

To each other.

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You might want to click on these:

• Of all the problems we have to worry about in this state, he picks this one to legislate. Idiots. We constantly elect idiots in this state. What the hell is wrong with us?



• These are all antiques? That makes me old....



• The Chinese are crazy. Not quite as crazy as theJjapanese but crazy none-the-less.



• Key phrase in this story about rednecks: "...did something bad."

October baseball is good baseball.

The Pirates managed to stomp on the Reds pretty well last night and they won the NL Wild Card. This means they will fly to St. Louis to start the best-of-five series against the Cardinals on Thursday.

At 8:00 tonight, in the city of Cleveland, on the banks of the Cuyahoga River, three blocks south of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, the Indians will host the Rays in the AL Wild Card game. As I've stated before, I'm hoping the Indians crush the Rays because I don't like the Rays. I don't like them one bit.

Actually, to be honest with you, it's not the Rays that I don't like, it's their manager, Joe Maddon. I think he's a jerk.

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The United States Government has shut down the Grand Canyon.

How does the government shut down a big hole in the ground? That sounds kinda stupid to me. Almost as stupid as, say, shutting down the ocean.

Wait...

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Here are some links you can click on:

• Damn. I liked his books.



• Oskarshamn and the JellyFish would be a great name for a 1960s psychedelic band.



• Add this one to the ever-growing list of "You have got to be shittin' me..."

Stop calling it a shutdown.

Obama is getting paid, Boehner is getting paid, Cruz is getting paid, Markey is getting paid.... They haven't stopped doing their thing, they've just stopped authorizing the funding of things like the National Parks Service, paychecks for all those 22-year old  Army reservists, Job Training Programs, etc...

Call it "The Federal Government Services Stoppage" or something like that. The government has not shut down. It's still a huge slithering blob of bureaucracy, writhing through the halls of several large granite buildings in Washington DC.

Here are a couple of thoughts I had about the Federal Government Services Stoppage:

• Does this mean the N.S.A. has stopped listening to our phone calls? Because if it does, that means I can stop answering my phone with the greeting:
"Hi. Since the N.S.A. is listening to this conversation, I would like to say that it's possible that General Alexander is child-molester who wears womens underwear and likes to sniff bicycle seats."


• Does this mean that all those "Government Insured Reverse Mortgages" that Fred Thompson, Henry Winkler, Pat Boone and Robert Wagner have been selling are no longer insured by the government? What will Fred do for a living if he can't sell government insured mortgages?

I'm certain there are many other things floating around in my brain but I'm old and I can't verbalize them right now.

*

Turns out I was wrong about the Red Sox game this Friday. The game is not on at 8:00 in the evening. It will start at 3:07 in the afternoon.

Who the hell starts a baseball game at 3:07 in the afternoon? Why :07? Why not start it at 3:00 or at 3:15?

Speaking of baseball, the Rays managed to eliminate the Rangers last night so I was wrong about that as well.

This means the Rays will leave Texas and fly to Cleveland. Once there, they will play the Indians in the AL Wild Card. That is scheduled for tomorrow at 8:00pm. I'm hoping the Indians beat the Rays and Terry Francona gets into the ALDS.

Then I'm hoping for a ALDS where the Red Sox beat the crap out of the Indians in three quick games....

Tonight is the NL Wild Card game between the Cardinals and the Pirates and I'm hoping the Pirates win. I like the Pirates and my cousin Paddy loves the Pirates. And when I say "loves the Pirates", I mean that the woman is fan beyond measure. Always has been, always will be. She stuck with them through the last two decades when the Pirates where probably the single worst team in all of major league baseball.

The Pirates and my cousin Paddy deserve some post-season baseball and I'm kind of hoping that they win the NLCS penant.

Then I'm hoping for a World Series where the Red Sox beat the crap out of the Pirates in four quick games....

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Here are some links:

• Abandoned Feces and the Protected Artifacts would be a fantastic name for a 1980s techno band.



• Yes, alcohol was involved.



• Don't screw with World War II veterans. They'll run you over.



• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminal of the Day.