I am never going to be able to retire

The DJIA dropped almost 800 points today. That's formally known as a shitload of points in the investment biz.

Donald "I'm the Tarriff Man" Trump needs to shut the eff up and stay off of tweeter.

Seriously, if this guy wants to get re-elected, he needs to stop talking.

⧫

You can visit these if you want:

• Australia: What doesn't kill ya, steals your beers and tries to kill your cow.



• His dad, Darth, will bail him out.



• Key phrase in this story: "...she demanded to be allowed to participate."



• Key entry from our favorite police log: "3:02 a.m. A Kalispell man said his wife got drunk and 'exploded'."