I'm waiting.

Usually, after a disaster strikes the United States, some muslim leader (mullah, prime minister, overlord, dictator, etc...) issues a statement proclaiming that the disaster was Allahs way of striking back against all the evil doers.

Usually, after a disaster strikes the United States, some bible thumper (travelin' preacher, fanatical evangelist, maniacal mega-church leader, etc...) issues a statement proclaiming that the disaster was Gods way of striking back against all the evil doers.

I figure that sometime within the next few days, we will see a story about that because, well, lets face it, those people are all idiots.

*

Five days. Five freakin' days.

The government and the meteorologists spent five days talking about this storm.

They told everyone it was huge and dangerous. They said it was going to bring high winds and massive amounts of rain. They also said that anyone living near the shore needed to get out because it had a storm surge that was bigger than they had ever seen in a storm heading for the northeast.

"Get out now", they said.

The state governments of New Jersey and New York issued mandatory evacuation orders for the shoreline but did these people listen? Nooooooo! They didn't listen. They said, "Bah, those people don't know nothing. I'm stayin' right here and riding it out."

Well, I have only one thing to say to those people: "You can just shut the hell up, go back to your flooded houses and 'ride it out' in silence because no one wants to hear from you."

Idiots.

*

If I hear one more politician make the statement, "We shouldn't politicize the devestation from the storm", I'm gonna personally walk up to him or her and write "hypocrit" on his or her forehead with a Sharpie®. They are all politicizing it. Every one of them.

Barack Obama is proving that he is an "effective leader" by having his picture taken while sitting in a mock-up command center.

Willard Romney is proving he is a "compassionate leader" by having his picture taken at "fund raisers" being held at of his campaign stops.

This storm is what is known to most campaign managers as a "God Send". It gives them the opportunity to showcase their candidate before the public and get a lot of free press.

Personally, I don't mind that they do it I just hate when they say they aren't doing it while accusing their opponents of doing it. It's hypocritical of them and just more proof that politicians are lying sacks of weasel crap.

*

While I spend my evening opening the door and letting The Dog enjoy the thrill of having a bunch of little kids dressed in silly outfits pat him on the head, you can click on these links:

• This has got to smell way better than the stench that comes off of most car fresheners.



• Ladies and Gentlemen, The European Parlimentary Council is pleased to present....



• Yes!



• The word "psycho" comes to mind.



• Yes, alcohol was involved.



• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminal of the Month. (Only in Florida)

Long Day = Short Post

As a matter of fact, I suspect that this week is going to be filled with long days.

Sometimes, that's just the way it goes.

*

I did manage to find some links for you:

• Key phrase in this story about the latest member of the A-Team: "If he hadn't broken into my house, it wouldn't have happened."



• Yes, alcohol was involved. So wasn't a liberal amount of stupidity.



• Yo, Vinny. I got an idea - What say we start a "football league"....



• Sounds like maybe Vlad is getting advice from Ex-President Bill Clinton...



• I'm not sure why this is news but what the hell, it's kinda funny.

Just throwing this out there

Power loss I can handle but if the internet goes down, I got nothing.

According to the National Grid outage map, all around us are losing power so it's probably only a matter of time before we lose it as well.

If you still have power and internet, feel free to click on these links:

• Feel free to check and see if we have power.



• Here's a fun little website.

Nope, no power or internet loss.

Turns out that for us, Sandy was a big waste of time. We got some wind but no more than what we get during a good old North Easter. We got some rain but no more than what we get during a standard August rain storm.

In other words, we got nothing.

Which is fine by me because I am in no hurry for a repeat of last October.

So much for my clean lawn.

Oh well, at least it was clean for a day.

*

Today was a nice lazy day with me sitting on my butt doing almost nothing, unlike my friend John who worked 16 hours on Friday, 16 hours on Saturday and 8 hours today.

I'll tell you, if the town doesn't step up and replace the guys that have retired or are out on disability, there is going to be a problem. Someone is going to get hurt or get sick from overwork.

*

Now I'm going to watch some baseball. While I do that, you can click on these links:

• Meet the latest member of the A-Team.



• We don't pay cops enough.



• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminal of the Day.



• Key phrase in this story: "I wish that the leadership in the White House had the same level of moral courage and heroism that my son displayed."

I have no idea what Sandy is going to do.

Not only do I have no idea what Sandy is going to do, neither do the so-called meteorologists. I've heard at least three different predictions. One says it's going to be armageddon, another says it's going to bad and the third says we're going to get wet.

I'm kind of hoping that it's going to be the third one.

*

I got a lot done today and I still have much more to do. After I finish, I'm going to watch some baseball. Hopefully my unnamed team will continue winning and take a 3-0 lead in the series.

*

Here are some links you might find interesting:

• Ouch!



• You gotta give him credit for coming up with a unique excuse.



• Only in Florida.



• It's the old, "It was the french fries!" defense.

Busy day today.

I had things to do and now I'm done doing them. I think I'll watch bad television and then fall asleep early.

Here are some links:

• Key phrase in this story about the newest member of the A-Team: "...for the first time in her life, Kendra fired a gun."



• Idiot....



• What the hell kind of party was this going to be????



• Tom sends us this commercial with the statement, "To bad we don’t get the ads for the presidential race in Mass. I kind of like this one."



• Here's your Naked Guy in the News story.

I'm getting ready for Sandy.

I am normally not a paranoid guy but after what we went through at the end of October last year, I'm not taking any chances.

I've filled my generator gas tank to the top, my snow blowers gas tank to the top, my lawn tractors gas tank to the top and then I refilled both of my gas cans. This means I have about 17 gallons of gas on hand. That's probably enough gasoline to last me four or five days. Maybe six if I conserve.

I hope I don't need it but if I do, I've got it.

*

The one thing I haven't done in the last year that I wished I had done is install some kind of external television antenna.

Using an internal antenna ("rabbit ears" for you people that are old enough to remember television antennas), I can just barely get WGGB, WGBY and WHDM. In this digital age, the signal is either on or it's off so when the weather changes, I lose the signal and end up with a black screen. With an external antenna, I might be able to get WWLP, WCVB, WTIC and two or three Boston stations in addition to the ones mentioned previously.

All of these channel are in reasonably high definition and are crystal clear as long as the weather behaves. This lets me watch the news and stay aware of what's going on with not only our little disaster but also everywhere else in the world.

I like being aware of what's going on.

Also, I can watch WipeOut on ABC.

I like watching WipeOut.

*

Enjoy these links:

• I would love to hear him say, "The one question you got to ask yourself is, 'Do you feel lucky?' Well, do ya, punk?"



• James Marr is the latest member of the A-Team.



• Delaware has way better candidates than we do.

Not much to say today.

The damned campaign continues with each candidate insulting or berating the other. Obama has coined the phrase 'Romnesia' and is using it every chance he gets and Romney is busy trying to make himself sound like he knows what he is talking about.

I only have one thing to say - we're kinda screwed....

*

Todays links are shown below:

• I'm moving to Georgia.



• Once again, I have to ask, "Why should I vote Republican?"



• I hope there is a judge in Marin County who will make this right and tell Samuel Cutrufelli what Mr. Leone told him just before he went 'pow, pow, pow, pow'.



• Key phrase in this story: "...the suspect had minor injuries."



• Only in Florida (We don't pay cops enough...)

No, I didn't watch last nights debate.

As I've said in the past, I hate being lied to.

Besides, what those two did wasn't a debate. From what I see in the news clips, it was nothing more than a penis-comparison contest between two little boys with huge egos.

*

Well, it looks like the San Francisco Giants will be playing the Detroit Tigers in the World Series starting tomorrow night.

I'm not willing to say who I'm rooting for because of the historical tendency of my teams to lose. Let's just say that I will be watching the games and enjoying the play.

My wife, however, will be glad when the season ends next week and she no longer has to listen to me rant at my television or watch any more baseball.

She's funny that way.

*

Try these links out for size:

• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminal of the Month.



• Hey! It's the City of Brotherly Love!



• Key phrase in this story: "... items Corning said he always kept with him, 'just in case'."



• Brilliant! Simply Brilliant!



• Only in Florida (Yes, alcohol was involved).

Now it's no longer a rumor.

The only thing that the rumor-mongers got wrong yesterday was the Adam Lind part. The Red Sox gave the Blue Jays a player named Mike Aviles in exchange for a non-player named John Farrell.

On the surface, this seems like a equitable trade but since MLB has a policy that forbids trading a player for a non-player, the Blue Jays had to give up a player to make it all legal and stuff. That player is a guy named David Carpenter.

David Carpenter is either a serial killer from the 1970s or he is a right handed pitcher.

I'm kind of hoping it's the pitcher guy and not the serial killer guy because I have a feeling that the serial killer guy isn't going help the Red Sox very much.

*

So anyways, it was a kind of long day today. I think I'll stop typing, put on the baseball game and fall asleep in front of my TV.

You can click on these here links if you are so inclined:

• I've been in New Sewickley (I didn't know it was called 'New Sewickley'. I always just called it 'Sewickley, a suburb of Zelienople') but I've never seen any 4 foot tall skunks there.



• I wonder how much this cost the tax payers....



• Willard has a blimp?

Rumors are nothing more than rumors

At least until they are fact. Once they become fact, they are no longer rumors.

The Red Sox have sent short stop Mike Aviles to the Toronto Blue Jays in exchange for manager John Farrell and first baseman Adam Lind.

If that rumor is true, then as far as I'm concerned, Ben Cherington is a far better GM than Theo Epstein will ever be. In one move, he has managed to not only acquire the type of manager that the Red Sox need, he has freed up a slot for one of those up-and-coming kids (Pedro Ciriaco and Jose Iglesias) and he has picked up a decent first baseman to fill the void left with the trade of Adrian Gonzalez.

But, like the title says, rumors are nothing more than rumors. I understand the official announcement will be made this evening or tomorrow. That's when We'll know who is where and what are they doing.

*

I have completed the task of cleaning my back yard of leaves. That made it easy for me to clean my back yard of dog poop. So now my back yard is leaf and poop free.

For the moment....

*

Here are todays links:

• Only in Florida (Also, Only at Walmart).



• Key phrase in this story: "...spontaneous ketchup detonation"



• Key phrase in this story: "The fisticuffs ceased once the fighters beheld the long single-edged blade."



• Key phrase in this story: "When the government plays venture capitalist, it tends to reward companies that are connected to the policymakers..."

The lawn is mowed.

There is no baseball today so I decided to do something productive like mow my lawn.

I kinda wish there was some baseball.

*

My neighbor also decided to mow his lawn. He got about three passes into it when it occurred to him that his lawn mower was not the best approach to picking up a layer of leaves that was about 2 inches thick.

He eventually gave up and corralled his kids into a work gang. They managed to get some of the leaves into piles but the wind was a bit too strong for them.

Bottom line in here is that his leaves are blowing all over the neighborhood and he knows it. Unfortunately, he was a day late and a dollar short to the show and now he's either got to learn how to do some work or hire someone to do it for him.

Something tells me that he'll get around to learning how to work a rake and a blanket real soon.

*

You can visit these links if you want.

• Only in Florida.



• Only in Pennsylvania.



• We don't pay cops enough...

Not a nice day for a drive.

Todays trek up to New Hampshire to retreive our car was just a bit more soggy than yesterdays trip.

Oh well, I guess if I wanted sunny days all the time, I could move to San Diego. But I don't want to live in San Diego. Or any other part of California. Well, maybe in northern California but definitely not central or southern California. Those people are all crazy and whacky and stuff. And since it rains 50% of the time on northern California, I guess I don't want to go there either.

I guess I'll just stay here, enjoy the nice days and tolerate the not-so-nice days.

*

So anyways, I didn't get home until late so I have only one link.

• I may have only one link but it's got it all. It's an 'Only in Florida', a 'Only at WalMart', a 'Pffftttt, Rednecks' and a 'This is your brain on drugs' kind of link.

Nice day for a drive

This afternoon, we delivered a car to my youngest so he could drive a bunch of his classmates to an event this evening. That means we took a very nice drive up to New Hampshire on a bright crisp fall day.

You gotta love this time of the year.

*

So much for the Yankees.

As I type this, it's the seventh inning and the the Tigers are winning 7-1. Unless a miracle occurs, during the eighth or ninth inning, the Tigers are the AL champions and they will be playing in the World Series.

As for the Yankees, they are trying to figure out what to with their multi-million dollar third baseman, Alex Rodriguez. The rumors are rampant that the Yankees are trying to trade him but I gotta be honest with you, I'll be shocked if anyone takes him.

Before the media decided to call him "A-Rod", the nickname his fellow players gave him was "The Cooler". They called him that because every time he joined a team, they cooled down and stopped winning. As soon as he left, they heated up and started winning again.

Even if the Yankees continue to pay the majority of his salary, he's still a liability to whatever team he goes to.

He's not only arrogant, he's just plain bad luck.

*

Here are some links you can click on while I watch the Giants play the Cardinals (I love this time of the year!):

• Key phrase in this story: "I lost my temper."



• Yes, alcohol was involved. Lots and lots and lots of alcohol.



• Science is fun and informative.

I watched about 8 minutes of last night debate.

I find that 8 minutes is the maximum amount of time I can tolerate being lied to. After 9 minutes, I start to turn green and after 10 minutes, I start to smash things.

Sorry, I watched the Avengers this weekend and I let a Hulk reference slip in there. I'll try not to do that again.

*

Speaking of the Avengers, I recommend it. It was a comedy/adventure/sci-fi/romance/documentary/musical all rolled into one.

Okay, maybe there was no music and maybe there was no documentary but the rest of the stuff was there.

And let's face it, those are the best kind of movies.

*

Here are a few links the you might find interesting:

• Best Story Ever! (The comments alone are worth their weight in gold.)



• Here's your Naked Guy in the News story.



• Only in Florida.

Damned trees and their leaves.

I have leaves on my lawn and those leaves are coming from the oak trees in my neighbors yards.

I need my neighbors to cut down their damned trees.

*

Sometimes you see a picture that makes you think to yourself:

WTF?

*

My daughter was home this weekend and she left to go back to school today. I took the day off so she didn't have to leave from an empty house. Well, that and the fact that I have a lot of vacation time I have to take between now and the end of the year.

So anyways, today was a nice lazy day for me. I slept until at least 8:00, The Dog & I went for a walk this morning and then again this afternoon and now I'm going to watch baseball and the debate.

As they say, a bad day off is better than a good day at work.

*

Here are some links you can click on:

• Here's your Naked Guy in the News story.



• Key phrase in this story: "...don’t mess with Gurkhas."



• Why?



• This is why I always get a shelter dog.



• Did you feel it? We did.

There's two hours of my life I won't get back.

I watched the footage of the guy who broke the worlds records for highest manned balloon flight and highest parachute jump. I gotta tell you, it was boring as hell and extremely anticlimatic.

Watching a guy sit in a small capsule while a balloon slowly takes him as high as possible and then to watch his body plummet for 4 minutes is really, really boring.

Now if he had landed on a cactus or in the middle of a nascar track during a race, that would have been exciting.

*

I'm going to watch some baseball. You can click these links if you are so inclined:

• Look everybody! It's the religion of peace!



• Seems to me that our society has completely lost it's mind and the terrorists have won.



• Psssstttt, buddy, you missed a spot.



• Add this to the list of ways I don't want to die.

This isn't good. Not good at all.

I've made no secret of the fact that I am a fan of the Boston Red Sox. I follow them as closely as I can and I watch every game that I can stay awake for. I track them online or on my phone when I'm not able to watch the game on TV (that's gotten me in trouble a few times).

In other words, they are my team.

I've also made no secret of the fact that while I am a fan of the Red Sox, I am more of a fan of the game of baseball itself than of the Red Sox.

With that in mind, I'm about to say something that will shock most Red Sox fans:

If I had to pick a favorite baseball player, it would be Derek Jeter.

That's right - Derek Jeter is, in my opinion, one of the greats of the game. He loves to play the game and it shows. When he takes the field, he always has a little-kid smile on his face and he always plays the game like it was meant to be played - full of joy and excitement.

He is also the most emulated ball player I've ever seen. Watch any little league ball player get ready to bat and this is what you will see: You will see a 10 year old kid approach the plate and raise raise hand to the ump as if to say, "Hang on, I'm not ready yet."

That is a Jeterism. It's something he does it every time he comes up to bat.

Last night, in the twelfth inning of a great baseball game, Derek Jeter was playing short stop like he always does - with full out abandon and joy - when he came down on his left foot at an odd angle. His leg immediately canted outward and it was very obvious that Derek is not going to be playing baseball anymore this season.

Don't get me wrong, I'll still watch the games but they won't be as much fun.

*

I mowed my lawn yesterday afternoon and it was kind of nice to wake up this morning and find that my yard was still leaf-free.

I should have cut down all those damned trees twenty years ago.

*

Check out these links. Or not. Whatever...

• Next time, they should lock his ass up and crush his damned bicycle under the wheels of truck.



• Yes, alcohol was involved.



• Go ahead and order the whole collection.

I have got to stop rooting for baseball teams

Seems like every time I throw my support behind a baseball team (or three), they end up losing.

Maybe I should just watch baseball for the sake of baseball and forget the whole, "Go (insert team name here)!" thing.

*

It was a little chilly when I woke up this morning.

The large number is the temperature outside my house and the small number is the temperature inside my house.

Yes, it was 57° in my house this morning.

Yes, I turned the heat on once I saw that.

*

The key phrase in that story is: "Patrick, in a statement released late Friday afternoon, called the Department of Interior’s approach to the compact 'outdated' and charged that the government was substituting its judgment for that of the tribe."

So lets see if I got this straight - Our Esteemed Governor, a man who has spent his entire political life substituting his judgment for that of the citizens of Massachusetts, is now saying that he thinks the federal government is wrong for substituting it's judgment over that of the Mashpee Wampanoag tribe?

In my book, that makes Our Esteemed Governor a hypocrite of the highest level.

*

While I watch a baseball game that is being played by none of the teams that I picked, you can click on these links:

• More proof that our species is made up of some very interesting in-duh-viduals.



• Here's your Naked Guy in the News story.



• My favorite is: "Joe Biden would very much like for Paul Ryan to get off his lawn."

Go O's!

The Athletics have been eliminated by the Tigers but the Orioles forced a game 5 with the Yankees. The Nationals also managed to force a game 5 with the Cardinals. Both games will be played this evening and I will try to watch both of them.

Of course, the operative word in that previous statement is "try".

I will more than likely will make it through the Orioles/Yankees game which starts at 5:00 but the Cardinals/Nationals game doesn't start until 8:30. That means I'll probably make it through two or three innings before I go unconscious.

*

I managed to catch two bats.

The woman who lives across the street from me took one of her shutters down yesterday and she immediately ran screaming across her front yard. I went over to see what she was screaming about and she pointed to the bats hanging on the wall where the shutter used to be.

I told her not to worry, got myself a pair of leather gloves and went over to catch the bats.

I managed to get two of them but the third decided to fly off and then come back to land on my pants leg. It ain't everyday you got two bats in your hand and one bat hanging on your leg but hey, it's kind of what my life is normally like.

So anyways, I figured since I had two in my hand and one on my pants leg, I had them all and I started to walk towards the woods.

That lasted about three steps when the bat hanging on my pants leg decided that it wasn't going to have any of this and it took off - straight towards the screaming woman.

The bat was flying & swooping & peeing (bats pee when they are frightened) and the woman was running & dodging & squeaking (I don't know if she was peeing but she was frightened).

I haven't seen a girl go nuts like that since the day Brian Quirk dropped a frog down Barbara Aikens back in the second grade.

It was great.

*

If you would like, you can click on these links while I watch some baseball:

• I suppose if you are going to go, you might as well go big.



• At some point, President Obama is just going to up and fire all of them.



• Did he work for the Secret Service?



• Yes, it's true - the Japanese are clinically insane.



• Um, yuck...



• Only in Florida.



• I swear to God, I've never been to Boise.

Long Day = Short Post.

Maybe the Long Day thing isn't entirely truthful.

It wasn't really a long day for me. It was a Long Day for my wife. Since my wife wasn't home, I decided that after I fed and walked The Dog, I would go to a bar with some friends and watch the Nationals play baseball.

So the Nationals won today, which ties the series with the Cardinals at 2 each. Tomorrow will be an interesting day.

On the other side, the Giants took the Cardinals out of the picture when they won their series today.

This evening it's a must win for the Orioles because the Yankees are up 2-1. If the Orioles lose, the Yankees move on.

On the other side of the continent, the Athletics and the Tigers are tied 2-2 so whoever wins tonight moves on. Due to the start time of that game, there is no way I will be watching it.

*

You might enjoy these links:

• Say a prayer for Basil Plumley. He was an A-Team all by himself.



• My wife and I raised three children and I understand there are times when you think to yourself, "This why some creatures eat their young" but there is absolutely no excuse for this. None what-so-ever.



• Why is Charlie Sheen at the Deep Water Horizon disaster?

So much for my "secret" team

The Nationals lost again today, leaving them down 2-1 in the series.

Seems that even when I give a team a top secret code name, they still don't fair well.

*

Wild West Wednesdays at Texas roadhouse!

Both of us got home from work a little later than we like so we decided to run over to Texas Roadhouse and grab a quick dinner. They have this thing they call Wild West Wednesday where you get a sirloin and two sides for $10.00.

Being as we have three kids in college, $10.00 for a steak dinner is a pretty damned good deal.

*

Here are some links you  might find interesting:

• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminal of the Week.



• I'm not going to say I'm concerned but I am keeping a weather eye on things.



• Mongo like candy!

Go O's!

The Orioles have tied the series with the Yankees at one game each. They now move on to New York where the Yankees will have the home field advantage. Fortunately for the Orioles, sometimes that doesn't matter.

As for the Athletics, well, what can I say. They are down 2 games to none against the Tigers. Now they move on to Oakland where they will have the home field advantage. Fortunately for the Athletics, sometimes that matters.

As for my secret team, the Wationals, they lost yesterday and their series is now tied. They now move on to Nashington where they will have the home field advantage. Fortunately for the Wationals, that matters.

*

I read a story in the Boston Herald that kind of pissed me off a bit. It was about the "Rose Kennedy Greenway" in downtown Boston and who pays for its upkeep.

After reading the story, I did a little research and found that the state provides slightly more than $2,000,000.00 a year in funding. This is above and beyond the private donations that they collect from all the gullible rich folk out in Boston.

It might just be me but $2 million sure sounds like a lot of money for what amounts to a long, skinny lawn.

And since I am who I am, I have to wonder what our state senator thinks of all this:

Dear State Senator Gale Candaras,

Would you please be so kind as to publicly state your position on the status of the use of our tax dollars to fund a strip of grass in the middle of Boston that is named after the matriarch of one of the wealthiest, and sleasiest, families in the state.

Just to be clear, this is a strip of grass that covers a highway that was paid for by our federal tax dollars and is still being paid for by our state tax dollars.

Thank you for your attention.

Sincerely,
Your Constituents out here in Wilbraham.

I doubt I'll get a reply.

Maybe instead of bitching on the internet, I should write a letter to the editor of our weekly newspaper and see if she'll reply to that.

*

Here are some links you might enjoy:

• Add this to the list of ways I don't want to die.



• Here's a really good followup to the story of the girl who was bullied by her teacher for wearing a Romney T-Shirt to school.



• Yes, alcohol was involved. Lots of alcohol.



• If you are ever at Venice Beach, don't look up. (Trust me, watch the video. It's worth it.)

I may have chosen poorly.

The Athletics are down 2 games to none to the Tigers and the Orioles are down 1 game to none to the Yankees.

Seems like no matter who I root for, they lose. I root for the Red Sox and they lose. I root for the Athletics and they lose, I root for the Orioles and they lose.

Fortunately, I have another team that I am rooting for. I'd tell you who it is but if I do, I'm afraid they'll start to lose. Instead, I'll call them by the code name "The Nashington Wationals".

The Wationals are one game up on the "Caint Souis Lardinals" and they are playing like they mean it. Nashington hasn't had a winning team since they moved from Montreal in 2005. They've basically spent the last several years making the Pittsburgh Pirates look good and now they are suddenly in contention.

I would like them to do well. They deserve it.

*

I experienced a kind of Long Day so I'll leave you with this kind of Short Post.

Here are a few links to click on:

• Hey! Look everybody! It's the City of Brotherly Love!



• While I give him credit for being persistent, I would also like to say to him, "You sir, are a moron."



• Basically, this says that the people of California should shut up. They got what they asked for.

Go A's! Go O's!

I have decided that I am cheering for the Oakland Athletics.

Simply put, I'm a fan because the A's have at least three players who used to play for the Red Sox. The Red Sox, in their infinite wisdom, traded those players to the A's for a closer who immediately injured himself and missed almost the entire 2012 season.

Good move there, Red Sox....

So anyways, I'm going to root for the A's because they are basically the underdog in all of this and several of their players are guys who got tossed under the bus by the Red Sox.

I'm also going to root for the Baltimore Orioles.

The General Manager of the Orioles is a guy named Dan Duquette. Duquette used to be the GM for the Red Sox but they fired him and brought in Theo Epstein. They fired him at the end of the 2002 season, right after he built the Red Sox team that went on to win the 2004 World Series.

Good move there, Red Sox.

So anyways, I'm going to root for the Orioles because they are basically the underdogs in all of this and their GM is a guy who got thrown under the bus by the Red Sox.

Are you sensing a pattern here....

*

There is an election going on in Venezuela today and Crazy Hugo is hoping he gets re-elected.

And by "hoping", I mean he has his minions out spray painting threats of violence all over the walls in Caracas.

You gotta love a guy who uses blatant, overt threats of violence to keep his job.

*

Here are a few links:

• This is why I have a problem voting Republican.



• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminal(s) of the Year.



• Key phrase in this story: "Both victims were able to provide a detailed description of the defendant's penis..."

It's getting more and more interesting.

Jack Welch has expounded on his statement yesterday accusing the White House of manipulating the unemployment numbers.

If you read what he is saying in the interview, you'll see his logic. He says,

"To hold the unemployment rate even as the population grows the economy needs to add between 150,000 and 200,000 jobs a month. We haven't reached those numbers at all."

What he's saying is in order to keep the unemployment rate at the same level each month, you have to add lots of jobs to keep up with population growth.

I would like to say that he is right but I think I can prove that he is wrong.

Like really wrong.

The population of eligible workers is not growing, it's dropping.

How do I know this?

I know it because every American who has picked up a newspaper or watched the news in the last 10 years can tell you that the Social Security fund will soon become unsustainable.

The reason it's becoming unsustainable is because the number of new retirees is growing faster than the number of new eligible workers.

If the number of retirees is growing faster then the number of new eligible workers, then it stands to reason that the total number of eligible workers is declining, not growing.

And aside from my number crunching, there's also this little story from Huffington that might be a little short on facts but still reasonably believable. Basically he's saying that Welch is one of the best at "cooking the books".

Yes, yes, I know it's opinion but then again, everything is opinion. As a matter of fact, a lot of the stuff you read here is no more than child-like babble so take what I say for what it's worth....

And by the way, none of this bullsh!t that I just typed helps me make a decision on who I should vote for next month.

But then again...

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Attention Pat. In case you end up doing something crazy like, oh I don't know, maybe moving to Ludlow or something, here's a screen shot of a speed test I ran this afternoon via SpeakEasy.net.

I would think that Charter in Ludlow should deliver similar, if not better, speeds.

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Here are todays links:

• Yes, alcohol was involved.



• It's the old, "she was not a bad person" defense.



• Key entry from our favorite police blotter: "1:50 a.m. The intoxicated residents on Cynthia Drive managed to stay out of their vehicles."



• Key phrase in this story: "All Natural Buttocks Enhancement Supplement."

Twitter is an interesting place.

I have a twitter account but I only look at it occasionally because it's filled with drivel about the Red Sox. The reason it's filled with Red Sox drivel is because I follow a lot of baseball writers and players.

All that aside, I have found that the world of Twitter can occasionally hold some gems of wisdom or humor.

For example, The Bureau of Labor Statistics released the September non-farm jobs report this morning stating the the unemployment rate had fallen from 8.1 to 7.8 percent in September.

Alan B. Krueger, Chairman of President Obama’s Council of Economic Advisers and a member of the President's Cabinet, immediatly focused in on the 8.1 to 7.8 change and made the following statement:

"It is critical that we continue the policies that are building an economy that works for the middle class as we dig our way out of the deep hole that was caused by the severe recession that began in December 2007."

This was immediately followed by a Twitter/Tweeter/Thingee from Mr. Jack Welch (Former CEO and Chairman of G.E.) who said,

"Unbelievable jobs numbers..these Chicago guys will do anything..can't debate so change numbers."

Now I'm not saying that Jack Welch is right, or that the White House isn't lying through President Obamas teeth, I'm just saying that I find it pretty amazing that I live in a world and at a time where the President of the United States and one of the most powerful business leaders of our day can get into a pissing match with each other and I get to watch it happen in real time.

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Enjoy these links:

• And I'm betting these prices will be heading our way pretty soon.



• I hope this isn't coming our way...



• I can see Toe Wrestling but Air Sex or Swamp Football? That's just not right.

No, I did not watch the debate.

I never watch debates because I hate being lied to. And if you think for one minute that one candidate lies and the other tells the truth, you are a naive fool who probably shouldn't be allowed to vote. They both lie.

Starting with the words "I'm happy to be here", ending with the words "Thank you" and everything in between, it's all one big lie.

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Here are todays links:

• New York City has to be the most screwed up city in the world.



• Key phrase in this story: "Now if she was a professional doorbell ringer..."



• Perhaps we should start a 'People of KMart' website.



• Um, yuck...



• Oops.

Five weeks to make a decision.

The election is just about 5 weeks away. Actually, it's exactly 4.857 weeks away but why get all picky and stuff.

But that doesn't matter. What matters is that I am still not convinced that I can vote for Romney and I know there is no way I will vote for Obama. That pretty much leaves me with Gary Johnson of the Libertarian Party, Jill Stein of the Green Party or Virgil Goode of the Constitution Party.

 Stein is a wackjob from Lexington, MA that runs for office every chance she gets. She is a true socialist and borders on being a communist. She is firmly convinced that everyone around her is a moron and she is the only smart one araound. The rest of us are too stupid to know what's best for us. If you put a gun to my head and threatened to shoot me if I didn't vote for her, I'd like to think I would still have the fortitude to not vote for her.

Goode was a Democrat who became a Republican who became an Independent who became a Constitutionalist. The man just can't get along with anybody....

That leaves Johnson who was a Republican who became a Libertarian which is far more palatable to me than almost anything else. I find that I am a huge fan of liberty so maybe I'll vote for Johnson.

Than again, maybe I'll just write a random number generator and have it select who I should vote for because since I live in Massachusetts, it doesn't matter who I vote for. Obama will get the eleven electoral college votes from Massachusetts because that's what Massachusetts does - it votes democrat. It has voted democrat for the last 30 years and I don't think that is going to change this time.

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You can click on these:

• Here's your Naked Guy in the News story.



• Looks like Batman has put on a few pounds....



• This is not a job I am interested in.

Hotel rooms in Boston are freakin' expensive!

We are gearing up for the May graduation of our oldest offspring and that means spending the night in Boston. Since there are more than a few colleges in the city of Boston that will hold graduations in mid-May, we decided that making hotel reservations early would be a good idea. With that in mind, I set out to locate sleeping quarters for our happy family troupe.

HOLY CRAP!

My first attempt totaled out at just over $1,000.00 for the night.

At $1,000.00 for one night, there better be flying carpet rides with naked dancing girls. Wolfgang Puck better show up in the room and prepare a five course meal for us. Tom Hanks and Ron Howard better be on hand to give us a private pre-release viewing of their latest movie.

What the hell is so special about the city of Boston that anyone would want to pay $1,000.00 a night to stay there?

My next few attempts weren't much better but fortunately we discovered that the graduation ceremony will be held at the Seaport World Trade Center and, lo' & behold, they have a hotel there.

I called and spoke to a wonderful young lady who assured me that since we were coming in for an event, we could get the group rate. Trust me, when you talk to a nice young lady at a hotel, tell her you want the group rate.

My $1,000.00 expense ended up being just a bit under $400.00.

At that price, I'm betting there aren't any flying carpets and I'm pretty sure there are no naked dancing girls but that's okay because $400.00 is way better than $1,000.00.

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Here are some links:

• Key phrase in this story: "He will be rigged with cameras that will provide a live broadcast of the jump via the Internet, meaning countless viewers could end up witnessing a horrific accident."



• Add this to the list of ways I don't want to die.



• Key phrase in this story: "I would not wish this on my worst enemy."



• Key entry from our favorite police blotter: "7:06 p.m. An Evergreen woman called 911 to report that a cat was stuck in her skunk trap."



• I'm just guessing here but I'm pretty sure fishing is one of those activities that does not normally require the use of a firearm.

I really need to mow my lawn.

Up until this year, I haven't really had to mow my lawn. My sons have mowed my lawn and I have enjoyed being the supervisor. Now that my youngest is in college, I have no one around who is willing to take over the job so that means I've had to start doing it myself.

When I started mowing the lawn again, the first thing I realized is that my lawn tractor has way too many safety features built into it.

Those are now gone.

The second thing I realized is that mowing my lawn without all those trees in the way is a lot easier then it was when I had trees.

And finally, the third thing I realized is that doing the trim is highly overrated.

So I don't do trim.

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I believe I may have posted this story several months ago as an example of everything that is wrong with the welfare system in this country. The woman has absolutely no remorse or ethics when it comes to her welfare check. She exhibits no hesitation what-so-ever in her answers and that is simply because she expects her welfare check to be there, no matter what.

In her mind, it is her right and entitlement.

Well, allow me to point out that sometimes things have a way of working themselves out. Sometimes, what goes around comes around. Sometimes, you reap what you sow. Sometimes, Karma can be a real bitch.

Funny how that works....

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Here are some links you might want to click on (And no, none of them are about that bieber girl puking on stage):

• Only in Boston.



• I can't say anything about this story. When I was a kid, we had a cat that didn't quite survive a trip through the dryer.



• Only in Florida.