The season has begun

Today marked the official start of Chipmonk Season here at The DailyNews^© World Headquarters and the score so far is New and Improved Ol' Bess - 1, skeevy, nasty chipmonks - 0.

This makes me happy.

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According to the perky yet inaccurate talking heads on the local news channel, it's going to snow tomorrow.

This does not make me happy. Not happy at all.

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Today was the final spring training game for the Red Sox. Tomorrow they will travel to Cleveland and on Monday afternoon at 4:00, they will all be sitting in their hotel rooms, staring at the TV because the game is going to be postponed due to snow/sleet/rain.

I don't understand why MLB doesn't schedule April games at places that are down south or at places that have domed stadiums.

For instance, the Yankees, a team based in New York, is scheduled to play the Astros, a team based in Texas. They are scheduled to play in New York where it is going to 35° and sleeting. Meanwhile, down in Houston, it's going to be sunny and 84°.

I don't get it.

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Here are some links:

• Key line in this funny commercial: "For a more memorable bathroom experience."



• Hey Y'all, I been kidnapped! Gimme a $150.



• Only in Florida.



• Did they actually need to say this kind of thing is wrong???