The talking heads on the local news keep reminding me that in Massachusetts, it is illegal for me to do anything at all with fireworks, including sparklers.
So remember, if you live in Massachusetts, you are too much of a moron to know how to use firecrackers or sparklers. Only the smart people living in other states know how to do that kind of thing.
We went to a zoo the other day and a peacock flashed me.
I have things to do so here's all I got:
- If you ever visit India, don't go to the bathroom.
- Hey! Leave poor Titties alone!
- Only in Florida.
- No they aren't.
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