More mulch

I think my hands are now permanently stained brown. And my back hurts.

That is all I have to say about that.

•

The Red Sox managed to beat the Yankees last night and I'm hoping they do it again tonight. It would be nice to see them maintain their .500+ record.

I didn't stay awake to watch the game last night. I fell asleep on the couch some time around 8:30 or so, woke up at 2:30 or so and went to bed. I didn't find out they won until this morning because the last thing I remember about the game was the Red Sox were down by two runs.

They are still trailing the the Orioles in the standings but only by a game and a half. This is not a bad thing considering how much of the season is ahead of them.

•

Here are today's links:

• Key entry from our favorite police log: "7:47 p.m. Two small children were seen sticking out their thumbs and shaking their rear ends on the side of Highway 2 East. A deputy told them not to play in the road."



• Key phrase in this story: "Canestri's father declined to comment on the charges, but said his son is a good person."



• If you don't know who Colin Furze is, you should. I follow his YouTube channel and the man is basically an insane genius.



• Serial Butt Slapper would be a great name for a 1990's children's book.



• I've spent the last few years trying to ours to shut up.

No flying today

Today was lunch with a bunch of friends and then spending the afternoon spreading mulch for my wife in her gardens.

Buying woods chips and then spreading them around the front of your house every few years seems like a complete waste of time and money but it makes my wife happy.

And lets face it - when your spouse is happy, everybody is happy.

•

So anyways, you can click on these links.

Or not.

Your choice:

• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminals of the Month.



• Only in New Jersey.



• The Large Hadron has been weaseled.



• Sex Crazed Peacocks would be a wonderful name for a 1960's garage band.



• Only in Florida.

Nine out of ten is pretty good

Today's lesson was, once again, touch & go's and I'm proud to say that I completed 10 successful landings. Nine of those landings were just about perfect and the imperfect one involved bouncing the aircraft once on touchdown. It didn't go very high, maybe a foot or so but during that foot of bounce, it traveled down the runway about 50 feet.

My instructor was pleased with the landings and all that I need to solo now is to complete an exam and get my medical certificate that says I'm not blind and I'm probably not going to have a heart attack in the air.

Until then, and even after then, I think I'll keep practicing landings because I've decided that other than actually flying the plane, landing it is the most important part of flying.

•

Once again, the Red Sox will play the Braves and I'm hoping that once again, the Red Sox will beat the Braves.

I'm also hoping that the White Sox, the number one team in the American League, defeat the Orioles because if the Red Sox win and the Orioles lose, the Red Sox will take first place in the ALEast.

I would like to see the Red Sox in first place in the ALEast.

•

While I watch baseball, you could ponder these:

• If I ever get arrested, this is the guy I want for my lawyer.



• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminal of the Week.



• Good job there Microsoft. Good job...



• I wonder if there was a second date?



• Key phrase in this story: "...asked us if he could roll one."



• This is fantastic. Trust me, watch and listen to the whole thing.

Landing is hard

Taking off is easy.

Flying is easy.

Landing is a bitch.

Until I can land the aircraft correctly 100% of the time, I will not be able to solo. If I'm not able to solo, I will never get my PPL. If I don't get my PPL, what the hell am I doing this for?

We did 11 touch & go's and I think I scared the crap out of my instructor only 3 or 4 times. Still, it was a beautiful day up there.

And that, my friends, is why I do this

There is nothing more tranquil and peaceful than cruising through the sky over the Pioneer Valley. It was so clear today that I could see Monadnock up in Keene and the buildings down in Hartford.

•

The Red Sox are on a three game winning streak.

Hopefully tonight they make it a four game winning streak.

•

Here are a few links that you can visit while I watch the Red Sox play the Braves:

• Only in Florida.



• Only in Florida.



• Only in Florida.



• Yes, alcohol was involved.



• Seems like Naked Gal In The News stories are more common than they used to be.



• But don't fret, the Naked Guy In The News stories are still quite prolific.

No owl and no flying today

What a nice day.

And by nice, I mean we got some much needed rain. I realize that it's going to make my freshly fertilized lawn grow extra fast but I don't care.

We really need the rain.

•

The Red Sox are once again above .500 and I'm really hoping they stay that way for the rest of the season. They have one more game down in Atlanta against the Braves and then both teams fly to Boston where the Red Sox will host the Braves for two more games.

The Braves are in last place in the National League so the Red Sox should have no problem taking at least three of the four games. Specially when they return to Boston and the designated hitter is back in the lineup.

•

So I made my wife a happy woman today because I finally got my eyes examined.

She has been gently chiding me for the last several years to please go get my eyes examined and I have been gently ignoring her. Now that I am getting ready to schedule a medical for my pilots license, I want to make sure that I don't fail because of my eyesight.

So this afternoon, I sat down with an eye doctor and he examined my eyes. Seems that I have 20/25 vision. According to the highly educated eye doctor, I see just fine.

•

You should click on these:

• Guys in action....



• And I'm betting they're all men.



• Best DUI outfit ever.



• Only in Florida.

Excellent day for flying.

I did eleven more touch & go's today and considering I damned near killed us on one of the landings, it was a great day for flying.

I was turning final with another aircraft on the runway getting ready to take off. Because he was on the runway while I was making the turn to land, I made the mistake of taking my attention off my aircraft and focusing on him. This is a bad thing because the number one thing to remember when flying a plane is to first FLY THE DAMNED PLANE. Everything else is secondary.

The mantra of a pilot is: Aviate, Navigate, Communicate. In that order.

So while I was paying attention to what he was doing, my instructor calmly informed me that I was nose high, the plane had slowed to 45kts (it flies at 60kts) and we were dropping rapidly toward the ground. Once I put a little gofast juice into the engine, pushed the nose down and picked up some speed, we recovered nicely, touched down on the runway and then headed back into the air at full throttle

He's a good instructor and now I am a slightly better student.

And for the record, the FAA sent me my Student Pilot Certificate today so I guess it's now official.

In case you want to know what a Student Pilot Certificate means, it means if you and I are ever on an airliner together and the pilots suddenly become incapacitated, I'm no more qualified than you are to fly the plane.

•

The Small Emergency Backup Dog spotted this creature in our back yard this afternoon.

It's a Great Horned Owl fledgling and I'm hoping it's made our small patch of woods it's home. I'm hoping this because he/she will significantly decrease the general chipmonk population.

•

I'm going to get into my stretchy pants and settle in to watch some baseball.

While I do that, you can click on these links:

• Key phrase in this story: "while supplies last".



• How much does it cost us every time they have to rescue this idiot?



• Key phrase in this story: "something went wrong."



• Chalk one up for the good guys.

Beat that dead horse....

Attention vacuous yet witless talking heads:

Enough with the "Adorable meeting between President Obama and Prince George!" thing you think we are interested in.

When it comes to reporting the news, maybe you should focus on things that are more important. Here's a short list of items you could talk about other than the heart-warming scene between the Obama's and the Windsor's:

1. There have been several large earthquakes around the world and probably more on the way.
2. There is a genocide going on in Syria that may very well make the holocaust look tame.
3. The economy continues to fall despite the lies put forth by the current administration.
4. Our next president is either going to be a psychotic, self-centered egomaniac who has no idea what it's like to be a normal American citizen or a psychotic, self-centered egomaniac who has no idea what it's like to be a normal American citizen.
5. The Red Sox are being managed into last place for a third season in a row.

Why can't you focus on those things rather than spending 5 minutes every day for the last four days talking about some wealthy, pampered 5 year old in a monogrammed bathrobe staying up past his bedtime?

•

Krazy Kim Cubed is at it again.

He claimed that his military has successfully launched a ballistic missile from a submerged submarine.

Now all things considered, I'm not all that worried about this development. Their submarine "fleet" consists mainly of old Russian subs that were built back in the 1950s and and a bunch of small or "midget" subs that they've managed to build themselves. Their missile technology seems to be based on Estes Rockets.

What I do find interesting in all of this is that it's beginning to look like the only reason Krazy Kim Cubed is still in charge over there is because he's the fattest guy in the country.

Koreans like fat people.

•

Click on these:

• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminal of the Day.



• Here's your Naked Gal In The News story.



• Oh Canada.



• You might want to remember this defense...

Finally a little bit of rain.

And now that the fertilizer has been soaked into the soil, I can mow my lawn. And trust me, I need to mow my lawn. I'm not entirely sure what kind of mutant chemical product they are applying but man, is my grass growing fast.

Which is way better than what I usually have which is a brown, dusty lawn covered in what looks like burlap.

•

Here are a few links:

• I'm still not entirely sure why they decided to pass that law down in North Carolina but they might want to rethink it.



• You gotta love dogs.



• Key entry from our favorite police log: "11:48 a.m. A boy with what was described as 'boy hair' was picked up at an Evergreen store and returned to his parents."



• Ever wonder what happens when a Humvee falls 500 feet? Wonder no more.

It was a good day to not be flying.

Thanks to today's wind, my lawn is once again covered with my neighbors leaves. Since my fertilizer guy spread a bunch of expensive fertilizer all over my lawn the other day, I really would like it to rain and soak it in before I do anything about the leaves.

On the other hand, I'm kind of glad I wasn't up in the air today because that wind would have made for some extra interesting landings....

•

Speaking of weather, today it was 81 outside.

Remember back on April 4th when it snowed?

Yea, welcome to New England....

•

Seems like I may not be the only one that is looking at John Farrell and asking why he's still the manager of the Red Sox.

I have nothing but respect for "The Big Rig" as a human being and I'm more than willing to say out loud that he is a fantastic pitching coach but his time as a manager has got to come to an end.

Soon.

When Farrell was out for half the season last year, Torey Lovullo proved that he was able to steer that team into a winning record and if the Red Sox ownership were to announce in May that Lovullo was replacing Farrell, I would have no problem with that.

They are down in Houston to play the Astros tonight at 8:00. That means I probably won't be able to stay awake to watch the entire game.

•

You can click on these links as many times as you want:

• I'm not certain who the bigger moron is: The manager who endangered his life over a $1.00 soda or the kid who is going to jail over a $1.00 soda....



• Only in Florida.



• Congratulations to Amy Winehouse - Clean and sober for five years!



• Key phrase in this story: "Police suggest donations to First Responders Foundation of Omaha in lieu of flowers."



• Also only in Florida.

Smooth as silk

Yes, I flew again today and man, was it smooth. There was little or no wind and almost no thermals to contend with.

We left Northampton and headed over to Barnes Airfield out in Westfield which was pretty interesting.

Barnes is a tower-controlled field that is the home to the local Air National Guard F-15 fighters. It's also several times bigger than Northampton.

Normally I do my touch & go's on a single runway that is 3,000 feet long and 50 feet wide. Today, I did my touch & go's at Barnes on runway 20 which is 9,000 feet long and 150 feet wide.

Man, that was fun.

*

I have no problem with removing Alexander Hamilton from the $20.00 bill because let's face it, he's not a very attractive guy. He looks like a slightly psychotic pot-head college professor who's forgotten he's supposed to be teaching Economics 101 and has wandered off on some tangent about why its' better to fertilize your hemp plants with giraffe crap than donkey poop.

Then again, Harriet Tubman is no supermodel either.

Seems to me that we should pick the people on our money based on how attractive they are. Let's face it, we've gotta look at them everyday. Wouldn't you want to look at some hottie?

Also, saying you have "a pocketful of Tubman's" doesn't sound near as good as, "Hey, I've got a Christie Brinkley burning a hole in my pocket."

*

The Red Sox lost again today and it was because the manager failed to manage. Can someone explain to me why Craig Kimbrel didn't come out and pitch? What about Uehara? Why didn't he come out and pitch?

They need a manager who knows who to use and when to use them.

*

Here are a few links:

• Yuck.



• Oh Canada.



• Key phrase in this story: "Sizemore was charged with indecent exposure..."



• Only in Florida.



• Oops...

Every-which-way but loose.

Today's flying lesson was, to say the least, interesting. The winds were swirling and gusting which meant there was no way to know how fast they were going or from which direction they were coming. This made for some interesting landings...

We left Northampton and navigated on a quick cross-country trip to Turners Falls. Once there, we did 3 touch & go's and 1 go around.

In a touch and go, you actually land the plane on the runway, retract the flaps, throw on full power and take off.

In a go around, you never touch down. You hold the plane level with full flaps, throw on full power to get the plane back to flying speed, retract the flaps and head up into the pattern.

As for Turners Falls, it's in a small bowl-shaped depression in the hills just south-east of Turners Falls. That bowl in the hills made those swirling winds even more swirly. Specially when taking off.

Still, I love this.

*

So the Red Sox failed again last night. That's 3 losses in a row and it puts them below .500. This is not a good sign.

Hopefully they can stop the streak tonight and get back to .500

*

Here are some links:

• They are remaking The Magnificent Seven. I loved the original. Hopefully the remake is just as good.



• Yes, alcohol was involved.



• In case you didn't know this, Satan created a race of giants just to build Stonehenge.



• I wish there were pictures. I'd like to see those cars.



• Wild Thing. You make my heart sing. You make everything Groovy.

Hanging out with the fertilizer guy

Our fertilizer guy from Lawn Tech showed up today for the first application of the season. I told him that whatever they applied at the end of last year was pretty damned impressive because so far,  I've had to mow my lawn twice this year and it's only April 18th.

Now that he's fed it, I'm a little concerned about how many times I'm going to have to mow it in the next two or three weeks. I may have to buy a second gas container.

*

While I watch the Red Sox take on the Rays, you can surf these links.

You never know, you might find something interesting:

• I'm shocked this happened somewhere other than Florida.



• Key phrase in this story: "...the Pennsylvania donkey..."



• Like I said, this is what you get when you ask the internet for something.



• Sometimes, Rednecks are great.

Good day for flying, bad day for baseball.

More touch & go's today and I got to do them in calm conditions. It was nice to bring the plane down to the runway without having to fight a 12-15 mph cross-wind.

I'm getting better at this landing thing but there is no way I'm ready to do it by myself. I think my instructor must be one of the bravest guys I know for him to sit there while I sling the plane towards the ground in an attempt to land it on the runway.

Amazingly enough, he seems to think I'm getting better.

Hopefully I continue to improve because I am really enjoying this and I want to be able to do it for real. I can think of nothing more enjoyable than cruising through the sky on a beautiful day.

Also, with two stopovers, it takes about 8 hours to get to Ames Iowa as opposed to the 19 hours in a car.

You never know, I might want to go to Ames Iowa every once-in-a-while.

*

As for the Red Sox, what can I say. They had a lead going into the eighth inning when Uehura suddenly decided to walk or hit every batter he faced.

Fortunately for me I was busy flying a plane around and not watching the game so I didn't lose my mind.

*

Here are the links:

• Only in Florida.



• Researchers: Contributing to the betterment of our society or a complete waste of perfectly good oxygen. We report, you decide.



• Key phrase in this story: "Hackett appeared to be affected by alcohol."



• Only in New Jersey.



• Yea, because I'm not fat enough now...

Boom, Boom, Boom, Another one bites the dust.

Another solar energy company is going under. This constant stream of bankruptcies seems to be directly related to the inability to make solar energy financially attractive for the consumer. No one in their right mind wants to pay $.30 per kWh when natural gas produces electricity at $.07 per kWh. More importantly, no one wants to pay $.30 per kWh for something that is essentially free.

I continue to be at a loss to understand why this is so hard. You would think that if the scientists and government were as concerned about global warming / pollution / oil dependency as they profess to be, they would be making a significant effort and investment in a solution.

That solution should be a combination of wind (windmills and ocean wave generators), gravity (hydropower dams and current generators) and solar (panel farms as well as individual homeowners linked to the grid) with solar being the most significant piece of that pie.

According to Sandia National Labs, the extractable electrical energy of solar power is 89,000 terrawatts. If you would like to see that number written out in long hand, it is 89,000,000,000,000,000,000 watts.

The average home in the United States (the heaviest electrical users on the planet) uses 10,932,000 watts so the math tells us that there is enough solar power for 8,141,236,736,187 homes.

The number of houses on the entire planet is currently estimated at 1,500,000,000.

This means that if we apply some averages and adjust for manufacturing, there is enough solar energy striking the planet to provide for about 5,500 times current needs of the human population. It also means that the worlds population will have to expand by a factor of 5,500 before we begin to exceed the potential.

Yet for some reason, solar power only supplies 0.12% of our current energy needs. That is slightly more than one tenth of one percent.

Can someone please explain to me why our government has decided that they should leave solar improvements in the hands of publicly-traded companies? Why is this not the focus of our government? If they are as concerned about global warming as they claim, why do they not have something similar to the Manhattan Project in place for solar energy?

Our government is screwed up and it's only going to get worse...

*

The Red Sox played the third game of their four game series against the Blue Jays this afternoon and they managed to lose. This gives them a 6-5 record which is an okay record. Not as good as the Orioles, the Royals and the White Sox but still, it's okay.

The Nationals, however, are playing some very good baseball with the best record in all of MLB at 9-1. The Cubs are right behind them at 9-2 which is also a very good record.

So having said all that, it's still April and there are 150+ games left to play. All I'm saying is that so far, it's shaping up to be a pretty good season to be a baseball fan.

*

Here are some links:

• I can't think of any possible reason for you to be running that god-awful CPU resource-hog known as QuickTime but if you are, knock it off.



• If you are looking for a job and you don't mind living in Denmark for a few months, this might be the job for you.



• Key phrase in this story: "...just leave the coytoes alone."



• I agree.

Early baseball game.

Today's game was at 4:00 which is a good thing for older folks like myself who tend to fall asleep earlier than you young people do.

The Red Sox managed to beat the Blue Jays again today, giving them a 6-4 record. They have two more games against the Jays and hopefully they'll win both of them.

And man, what can I say about Hanley Ramirez.

Last season, when they had him playing left field, I wanted him gone. It was a terrible mistake putting him in left field and it showed. He couldn't catch the ball and his throws in from the outfield to the infield always missed the mark.

This season, they have him back in the infield at first base and he is playing some pretty damned good baseball. He is making stretch catches that are resulting in outs and he seems a lot more relaxed about the game. So much so that his hitting has improved. A lot.

Thank goodness they didn't listen to me when I said get rid of him.

*

You can visit these or not. Your choice:

• Key phrase in this story: "...damage the reputation of decent policemen."



• It's the old "I didn't do it! Justice!" defense.



• Only in Florida.



• This is your brain. This is your brain on drugs. Any questions?



• If you're gonna cheat on your spouse, don't do it in Spain.

Lots to do

I seem to have a lot to do lately and today was no different.

I need to get back to work so I can take a break,

*

The Red Sox did not play yesterday but they start a four game series against the Blue Jays tonight.

They have already played the Jays once and they took 2 out of 3 games. If they can take 3 out of 4 games from them this time, it will be a good series and I will be a happy guy.

*

No flying for me today.

I would love to fly every day but that is not going to happen. In the first place, I don't have the time to fly every day. In the second place, I think my instructor would have a heart attack if he had to sit in the right seat while I threw the plane around the sky more than three times a week.

I like my instructor and I don't want him to have a heart attack.

*

Here are a few links:

• Sounds like someone might have gotten into the sacramental wine....



• Only at a Walmart in Florida.



• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminal of the Day.



• Only in Florida.



• Pffttttt..... Rednecks....

Finally a win.

Kelly pitched a pretty good game last night, giving the Red Sox 116 pitches over 5 innings. It would have been a great game if he had gone 100 pitches over 7 innings because that would have given the bullpen a little bit of a break.

As for the offense, they managed to hit the ball pretty well but more importantly, they managed some smart base running. They paid attention to the plays and in almost every inning, they ended up with a runner on third looking to get himself home.

And as we all know, the only way to win is to cross home plate more ties than your opponent.

They are off tonight and start a three game series against the Blue Jays on Friday.

*

More touch & go's today and I'd like to say I'm good at them but the truth is I'm not all that overjoyed with my performance. I can take off pretty smoothly and enter the pattern without any problems but my landings need more work.

A lot more work.

I tend to drift with the wind a bit and I always find myself a touch too high as I cross the threshold of the runway. This makes my landings a bit long. I also have a tendency to over-control as I'm approaching the runway.

One of the unique features of Northampton Airport 14 is that you cross over I-91 on your final approach. On a cool sunny day, there is a thermal rising off the highway that causes the plane to balloon up quite a bit just before landing.

All-in-all, I am not unhappy but since I'm a bit of a perfectionist, I want my landings to be a lot better than they are.

*

Time for some links:

• Key entry from our favorite police log: "10:54 a.m. Someone rescued a blissfully ignorant chihuahua that was prancing among oncoming traffic on Highway 2 East."



• This should happen more often.



• Thank goodness this happened in Seattle. 



• Well, atl least she didn't just up and shoot her.

Touch and go, touch and go....

Today's lesson was landing and taking off. I did at least 10 takeoffs and landings and man, was it stressful.

The lesson wasn't actually about landing and taking off so much as it was about learning to fly the pattern around the airport.

This is the pattern I'm talking about:

It is that pattern that allows aircraft to land or takeoff in a sensible manner without interfering with each other. It's kind of like a rotary with two entrances and one exit.

In other words, we won't crash into each other as long as everyone plays nice, communicates clearly, watches for oncoming traffic and yields the right of way.

There was another student doing touch and go's today as well so I actually got to fly the pattern with other aircraft in it with me. It was fun watching her aircraft in front of me. There is a certain grace and beauty in a small plane seen at eye level.

Have I mentioned that I love this.

*

The Red Sox continued their current suckage by losing again last night and they are now below .500.

I'm hoping that Kelly manages to stifle the Orioles bats and that the Red Sox manage to hit the ball well & cross home plate a lot more than the Orioles.

That would make for a good game.

*

You can click on these links if you would like:

• Yes, alcohol, was involved.



• Only in Florida.



• Only in New Jersey.



• So the big question is, "Where are the original contents?"

Nice day to fly.

Then again, I think any day is a nice day to fly.

My instructor has me working on problem situations like stalls and engine cutoffs as well as important things like communicating my intentions to other aircraft in the area, setting up for a landing and then actually landing.

Today was the first day where it was reasonably calm out there for me when I took off and it was fun.

I got to experience a nice steady roll down the runway and then a gentle liftoff into the air. I managed to make it to 3,000 feet out over Deerfield before the wind decided that I'd had it easy enough and it was time for me to start working.

At one point we hit a wind shear that dropped us about 10 or 15 feet which is a lot of feet.

Imagine being in a car that suddenly drops 10 feet and you have a pretty good idea of what I got to enjoy.

Oh, and he also had me register with the FAA for my Student Airman Certificate.

I guess he figures I'm doing okay and it's time to kick the bureaucracy into high gear.

*

I'll be watching the Red Sox this evening. My hopes are not high because Buchholz is pitching.

Lets face it, the last two years have proven that Buchholz is not only not an ace, he probably isn't a starter. It is my humble opinion that he would make a decent long setup guy.

*

While I'm watching baseball, you can visit these links:

• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminal(s) of the Month.



• Only in Florida.



• Key entry in this story: "This fellow ended up in Florida, so he came back and turned himself in, which is pretty cool."



• I sent a text message to my friend Scott to see if he voted today. His reply was, "Several times!"

Sure glad I didn't fly today.

Man, it was windy out there.

Special thanks to my neighbors who decided to put their trash out with no a lid on it...

*

According to Google Maps, it takes 19 hours to drive to Ames Iowa.

Just sayin'

*

The Red Sox managed to lose again today giving them a .500 record.

They lost to the Orioles who are currently undefeated. The Red Sox played well but the Orioles proved why they are undefeated by crossing home plate more times than the Red Sox did.

And that, as I've always said, is all that matters in the game of baseball.

*

Here are a few links for you to click on:

• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminal of the Day.



• Suddenly I want to work at Aaron's Inc.



• I haven't had a cigarette in 5 years and it still pisses me off that the government is banning tobacco.

Two out of three ain't bad

The Red Sox managed to lose their final game of their three game series with the Blue Jays this afternoon, giving them a 3-2 record.

I'm maintaining as good of an attitude a I can in the hopes that there will be no repeat of the last two years.

*

You can visit these links if you want to:

• She was the driving force behind Prop 2 1/2. Before she pushed that through, we were known as Taxachusetts for a good reason. I can't imagine what we would be paying in property taxes if it wasn't for her.



• Yes, alcohol was involved.



• R.I.P. Peeping Tom.

They are actually winning games

The Red Sox are now 3-1. Yes, I know it's early in the season and yes I know that there are still 158 games to go but it's kind of nice to say that they are winning. Hopefully this continues through until October.

Hey, I can dream, can't I?

*

Here are some links you can click on:

• I was not aware that one could "molest" a vending machine.



• You just gotta love dogs.



• Researchers: Contributing to the betterment of society or a complete waste of perfectly good oxygen?



• Only in Florida.

Nice flying weather today.

I managed to get an hour of flying time in today. The wind was kind of strong but because of the clouds, there were no thermals bouncing us around. Flying in winds is difficult but flying with constantly changing updrafts (thermals) is a real pain in the ass.

And I mean that literally.

If you've ever been in a commercial airliner that his turbulence, you know what it's like to bounce up and down. Imagine that in a small plane that's being flown by an inexperienced pilot.

But as I said the other day, I can't wait to see how I do on a nice calm day.

I hope to be at least as good as Reggie.

*

I'm going to watch some baseball. You can click on these links:

• Only in Florida.



• I'm hoping someone out there can explain this to me.



• Here's your Naked Guy In The News story.



• Key line in this story: "This is just a typical Russian wedding"

Once again, the weather wins and I lose.

My flight instructor messaged me and said that with the weather moving in, flying was probably not a good idea.

My instructor is a pretty bright guy.

*

Here are some links:

• Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the The All-Degenerate NFL Team.



• Only in Florida.



• Key phrase in this story: "After the man defecated on the lawn..."



• Only in Florida.



• If you have the outline of the state of Florida tattooed on your face, you have made some poor life choices.



• Only in New Jersey.

No flying today.

After watching the trees move around out there, I can't say that I'm too disappointed.

Getting tossed around while trying to stay focused on a single reference point is fun but I would kinda like to try it on a nice calm day just once.

*

There is baseball this evening.

The Red Sox and the Indians face each other in game two of their three game series out in Cleveland. Like I said yesterday, Farrell needs to get off to a good start during April because a repeat of the last two seasons should result in his removal.

I'm not saying they are going to fire him, I'm saying they should fire him.

Let's face it, Torey Lovullo proved that he can get that team to win when he took over as interim manager last year. Too bad it came late in the season when they were already so far in the hole that even if they resurrected Babe Ruth, Joe Jackson, Ted Williams and Ty Cobb, they would have still come in last.

It would be nice to see them make it into the playoffs.

*

While I am watching baseball, you can visit these links:

• Only in Florida.



• Key phrase in this story: "Hampson once draped himself over the bonnet of a Royal Mail van with his face pressed against the windscreen."



• You have got to love The Sun.



• Yes, alcohol was involved.



• HYPOTHESIS: "Walk of Life" by Dire Straits is the perfect song to end any movie.



• Good job gentlemen.

They are undefeated

The Red Sox defeated the Indians today 6-2 and that means they are currently undefeated.

We'll see how long that lasts now that Farrell has been given enough rope to hang himself.

He was told that he is to put the best players on the field and not worry about salaries. In other words, he was told he didn't have to play Sandoval just because he had a huge contract.

If he fails again this year having been given complete control over who plays, it'll be a sign that he isn't a good manager. Two last place seasons are hanging over his head like Damocles sword, waiting to fall and cut him off.

*

Flying was great. We spent an hour and a half doing slow stall recoveries, take off stall recoveries, slow spiral descents and rapid straightline ascents. The wind, once again, made it interesting as hell and my instructor said he can't wait to see how I do with a nice calm day.

Too be honest with you, I can't wait for a nice calm day either.

*

Here are a few links you might enjoy:

• If you haven't read about the Panama Papers yet, you should. I have a feeling things are going to get interesting for a lot of "leaders",



• Yes, alcohol was involved.



• The A-Team is in Indianapolis.



• I don't believe a word of it. Personally, I think... Look! Shiny Objects!!!



• Here's your Naked Guy In The News story.

And it's still snowing.

Today is the second day of MLB Opening Day and the Red Sox are out in Cleveland to play the Indians at 4:00 this afternoon.

In case you were wondering, the weather report for today in Cleveland was:

Windy with snow showers.
High 39F.
Winds NNE at 20 to 30 mph.
Chance of snow 40%.

That does not seem like baseball weather to me. That is more like hockey weather.

And it seems that the Red Sox / Indians agree with me because they postponed the game until tomorrow at 1:00 pm when the weather is predicted to be:

Morning Clouds will give way to sunshine in the afternoon.
High 34F.
Winds N at 10 to 15 mph.

Still not baseball weather but at least it won't be snowing.

*

I'm a little bummed because once again, flying was cancelled.

Hopefully the next lesson will go on as scheduled.

*

I have two lapdogs and no feeling in my legs:

*

So some guy out in California is in the process of getting a question on the ballot for the next state election called THE NAME ALL SPONSORS CANDIDATE ACCOUNTABILITY REFORM INITIATIVE.

You can read the entire proposal by clicking the link above but here is the heart of his proposal:

When providing testimony or participating in any vote of a State legislative committee or subcommittee, or any rollcall vote on the floor of the Senate or Assembly, every elected state officer shall display on his or her person the names of the persons who have made the ten highest cumulative contributions to the officer's controlled comrnittee(s).

In other words, if any elected official has received large contributions from Nike or Comcast or Bill Gates, that elected official must display the name on their clothes. Sorta like a race care driver.

I think that is the best idea ever.

*

You might like these links:

• Trust me, watch the video. It's worth it.



• Key line in this story about our Parent of Year: "She was also allegedly drunk when she gave consent."



• Key line in this advertisement: "Way less boring than other pets (ready to eat in 4-6 months!)"



• Tucker The Turtle Can't Fart would be a great name for a children's book.

Yep, it snowed.

We always get some snow in April so you think we'd be used to it but I'm not.

This is the time of the year where I spend my days complaining that it's either too hot or it's freakin' snowing.

I hate this time of the year.

*

Out in Pittsburgh, PA, the grounds crew at PNC Park managed to clear all the snow off the field & the stands and at 1:05 pm Francisco Liriano, pitcher for the Pittsburgh Pirates, threw the first pitch of the MLB season to Matt Carpenter, third baseman for the St. Louis Cardinals.

For the record, it was a ball.

The baseball season is upon us my friends and once again, I get watch my favorite sport.

For the record, the Pirates won.

I love this time of the year.

*

Here are today's links:

• Yes, alcohol was involved.



• This is why I don't go to those damned buffets...



• He would have gotten away scot-free if he hadn't fallen asleep.



• I can't decide if this guy is either very lucky or very unlucky.

The season has begun

Today marked the official start of Chipmonk Season here at The DailyNews^© World Headquarters and the score so far is New and Improved Ol' Bess - 1, skeevy, nasty chipmonks - 0.

This makes me happy.

*

According to the perky yet inaccurate talking heads on the local news channel, it's going to snow tomorrow.

This does not make me happy. Not happy at all.

*

Today was the final spring training game for the Red Sox. Tomorrow they will travel to Cleveland and on Monday afternoon at 4:00, they will all be sitting in their hotel rooms, staring at the TV because the game is going to be postponed due to snow/sleet/rain.

I don't understand why MLB doesn't schedule April games at places that are down south or at places that have domed stadiums.

For instance, the Yankees, a team based in New York, is scheduled to play the Astros, a team based in Texas. They are scheduled to play in New York where it is going to 35° and sleeting. Meanwhile, down in Houston, it's going to be sunny and 84°.

I don't get it.

*

Here are some links:

• Key line in this funny commercial: "For a more memorable bathroom experience."



• Hey Y'all, I been kidnapped! Gimme a $150.



• Only in Florida.



• Did they actually need to say this kind of thing is wrong???

Global System Computer Services

This afternoon I received three calls from "Steven" at "Global System Computer Services".

The first call was when "Steven", who had a very thick Indian or Pakistan accent, introduced himself and his company. He said my computer was sending out distress messages to the global system license server and it was indicating that the system was infected.

He asked me if I was in front of my computer and I told him no. He asked me to go to my computer and turn it on and he would then walk me through the process of repairing the major damage that was being done to my computer and restore it to the global system license server.

I told him I would go there right now.

I put the phone on speaker, set it down on the coffee table and listened to him say, "Hellooooo? Are you there sir?" for a few minutes.

Then he hung up.

Several seconds later he called back, reintroduced himself and his company and asked what happened.

I told him my computer wouldn't turn on. He told me I had to plug it in. I told him I would go do that,

I put the phone on speaker, put it back on the coffee table and listened to him say, "Hellooooo? Are you there sir?" for another few minutes.

Then he hung up.

Several seconds later he called back but by that time I was tired of my little game and I let it go to the answering machine.

Amazingly enough, he didn't leave a message.

I figure I kept him on the phone for good ten minutes and during that time he wasn't able to call someone else who might have been gullible enough to fall for his bullshit.

*

Try these links out:

• The Japanese are kind of weird....



• Key sub-header in this story: "Police report states that the fart had 'disturbed her piece of mind'"



• Ouch!



• Yes, alcohol was involved.



• Only in Florida.