The election is finally here.

Tomorrow, half of us will wake up pissed off and half of us will wake up happy. Then there are people like me. I don't care who gets elected because I'm more concerned about local government than I am about the presidency.

For those of you that are happy by the election, good for you. Go savor your victory but don't go out of your way to rub it in the face of those who lost.

For those of you that are unhappy with the election, sorry dude but we live in a republic which is sorta like a democracy but not quite. Either way, it means that the majority of the people told their state to vote for the winner. Relax, take a breath and support the new president as much as possible.

And please don't launch into any "I told you so!" when something happens that you don't like because trust me, no one told anyone anything.

As for the local stuff, we'll know tomorrow if we can get high after we send our kids off to a new charter school and then go gamble at the new slots parlor while eating chickens that were raised in larger cages.

Also, those of us in the first Hampden/Hampshire district will know if we have a new state senator.

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While you await the much-anticipated returns, or as I like to call them, uneducated guesses, you can click on these links:

• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminal of the Month.



• Key phrase in this humorous take on the Great Massachusetts Marijuana Raid of 2016: "On the other hand, authorities did get a chance to practice military operations against their own citizens, and that kind of training is priceless."



• Only in Florida.



• Trust me, watch the video.