Long day yesterday

On Thursday evening, I started experiencing some pretty intense pain in my gut and back. It was reminiscent of when I had my gall bladder and a few inches of intestine removed because of gangrene. I dealt with the pain, the puking and no sleep all night and at 10:00 on Friday morning I decided to go to a doc-in-a-box to see if they could offer up some medical assistance or drugs.

After several minutes of going, "Hmmm" and "Uh huh" and "Oh my", they said, "We have no idea. You really need to go to the ER. Want us to call an ambulance?" No, I don't want you to call an ambulance. I'm not paying those thieves at AMR $3,000 to drive me 10 miles down the road.

I drove myself to Baystate and after checking in at the ER, they tossed me into a wheelchair, poked me a few times, took my temperature and then wheeled me to the palatial and luxurious Pod 14 where I spent the next 8 hours:

Believe me, it was the height of opulence. The quality of the construction was superior to all other accommodations and the privacy afforded was top of the line, bar none.

And what more can I say about the amenities. This picture says it all.

All kidding aside, during the height of the covid crisis, Baystate had to come up with a way to keep people separated so rather than spread them throughout the hospital, they basically took the area that was at one time a covered drive used for valet parking at the ER and enclosed it. They put up simple yet effective 10x10 "pods" for each patient and, thanks to modern technology, they are able to conduct most tests and diagnostics right there.

The only time they had to take me to another location was when they decided to do a CT scan. Trust me, those machines are not portable.

Anyways, at 8:30 or so, they sent me home with a diagnosis of acute gastritis / inflammation of the gut. Everything inside me is intact and stable, just the usual bumps and bangs from living a reasonably exciting 62 years of life. For instance, the lesion they found on my spleen is probably related to some dirt bike incident from my youth. Or maybe that time I fell out of a tree. Who knows.

I did get to enjoy something I've never enjoyed before: morphine!

After being in pain for 12 hours, I declared morphine a nectar from the gods and my nurse, Kara, laughed.

My advice to anyone thinking about going to the hospital - be nice to the nurses. They are the ones that will take care of you and pissing them off is always a bad idea. Besides, they are genuinely nice people.

As of now, I am currently avoiding most solid foods. The only solid foods I have eaten since dinner last Thursday are three crackers last night around 10:00 pm, two pieces of white toast around 10:00 this morning and a grilled american cheese at 3:00 this afternoon. Maybe for dinner I'll try a cheeseburger on toast.

Go big or go home, I always say...

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Now you know why there was no posting last night.

I'm going to watch some baseball and try to catch up on my recent loss of sleep.

While I do that, you can do these:

• Key entry from our favorite police log: 7:19 p.m. "There are a lot of weirdoes around; just wanted to let you know."



• I believe gender reveal parties are the second biggest waste of time. Raking leaves in the woods is the first biggest waste of time.



• I give it two months and all 97 acres will be on the market.



• I wonder what would happen if every one ignored them and the cops just left them there? I mean, aside from all the boys showing up taking pictures of them...



• Next time someone says something bad about the military, show them this.



• Attention criminals: When you are transporting drugs, try to avoid running into the cops.