My daughter spent the weekend in Dallas at a friends wedding and her flight home landed at 11:00 last night. I was the designated picker-upper and we got home around midnight / 12:15. I popped three ibuprofens and I was in bed, fast asleep by 12:30.
My back is still a little sore but not as bad as I thought it was going to be.
Oh, and for the record, my plumbing skills are holding firm. There are no leaks in either the sink or the toilet and both are still functioning correctly. And by correctly, I mean poop goes down the toilet and water comes out of the faucet.
Key phrase in this story: "Work-Life Balance
When someone says to me, “You need a good work-life balance!” I have always said back to them, “Shut up. It’s not work-life balance. It’s life-work balance.”
Putting “work” first in that statement implies that work is the first thing you should worry about. Trust me, the order of things you should worry about are life first, then family, then friends and finally work. As a matter of fact, work should be right around the last thing you worry about. Feel free to put hobbies, drinking buddies and pets ahead of work if you are so inclined.
My father suffered from heart disease and he died when he was 55 years old after undergoing coronary bypass surgery. While his heart disease didn’t actually kill him (turns out he was allergic to propofol), it was the driving force behind his death. I’m not saying work caused his heart problems because he also smoked, used salt like it a primary food source and drank Canadian Club & ginger ale like it was water. No, his heart disease was caused by a lot of factors, including work. He worked hard all the time, right up until the day before he died. Work was not the primary cause of my fathers problems but it was a significant contributor.
Businesses push employees to deliver as much as possible for as little expense as possible. They heap billions of dollars on executives in pay and perks while constantly berating staff to produce more and more for less pay.
Things companies say to make employees stress out and produce more:
- Work smarter, not harder – This is a bullshit thing to say. If they wanted employees to work smarter, there would be no office buildings, no long commutes and no late nights. People would work from home. That saves the hour or two of commute time, puts less stress on employees and employees that work from home actually work more than the required number of hours each week.
- Our employees are our greatest asset! – This is nothing more than a bald-faced lie. Employers value furniture more than employees because furniture doesn’t take sick time, it doesn’t complain and it doesn’t form unions.
- Be agile – This implies that employees have the authority to make decisions about their job. They don’t. Middle-managers massage their ego’s by asserting their authority over employees. They also protect their jobs by preventing employees from coming up with good ideas. They live in fear that senior management will see an employee doing a great job and promote them over the manager.
- Thrive in ambiguity! – The English interpretation of the statement is, “We have no idea what we are doing so don’t expect us to be able to tell you what we are doing. Just keep working hard without any guidance.”
- Move with a sense of purpose – Again, this is a bullshit phrase. What they mean is, “I want to see you working, not socializing with your co-workers.”
- Don’t be afraid to say NO – Trying telling your VP, “NO” when he calls you at 10:30 on a Friday night and says that the Wilkinson account is out of order. It needs to be reviewed and correct by 7:00am Monday morning when Mr. Wilkinson and his accountants will be in to go over it with a fine-toothed comb. He needs you to get right on it and have the updated documents on his desk by Noon on Sunday for his review and approval.
- Be an agent of change! – This is related to the ambiguity thing. What it means is they fired the previous vice president and the new guy has different ideas on how things should be done. Forget everything you’ve done for the last several years because it turns out you were doing it wrong.
There is hockey this evening but no baseball. That means I get to leave my tv on one channel.
Enjoy these links:
- If you are vaccinated and you want to walk around without a mask, wait until May 29th and then go have yourself a good ol' time!
- Where the hell were all these "credits" when I had kids.
- If you live in eastern Pennsylvania or New Jersey, your daily walks are about to get extra-crunchy.
- No thanks.
- Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminal of the Day.
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