Just a bit chilly.

I won't move to Florida because I hate heat & humidity and the cold doesn't really bother me that much.

I will, however, admit that there was a brief twinge of yearning for a little heat & humidity this morning when I let The Dog out and discovered that it was 0^° with a light breeze.

The talking heads on the news kept telling me that it was "brisk" and "bitter". I can think of a few different ways of describing how cold it was and one of those descriptions involves the mammary glands of an individual who practices the dark arts.

It's so cold that those goddamned energy-efficient, anti-global-warming CFL lights bulbs we are all required to buy don't actually light up. They just give off a kinda dull pink glow. Must be that the brain-destroying mercury in them is frozen solid.

I miss incandescent light bulbs.

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You what pisses me off more than stepping on a Lego while barefoot? It's celebrities whining because their candidate did not get elected.

Listen up people, there are cops being executed by evil beings on a daily basis, there is a plague killing thousands of us, there is a slaughter of unparalleled proportions going on in a major US city, the so-called "Arab Spring" is essentially a genocide that has been encouraged by our current president and all that Meryl Streep wants to talk about is her belief that Donald Trump made fun of someone four months ago.

Shut up.

You are standing on a podium because your peers decided it was time to give you an award. That does not mean any of us think your opinion matters. The only people that think your opinion matters are the people that gave you the award. The rest of us think you were sorta okay in the movie Death Becomes Her but the rest of your stuff, and your opinion, sucks.

Stop talking, go home and find a clear spot on your shelf for your new participation trophy. If you want to use your celebrity status for good, then get people talking about the things I mentioned and maybe, just maybe, you'll accomplish something other than inflaming the frothing liberal masses.

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Here are some links for you to peruse:

• The more Dave Dombrowsky talks, the more I like what he has to say.



• Key sub-headline in this story: "She was certainly dedicated"



• Jemima Packington the Asparamancer would be a great name for a really bad 1980s action adventure movie starring Dolf Lundgren.



• You should probably just use your defroster like the rest of us.,..