Nice try guys.

Verizon gave us an additional 15g on our cell phone data plan during this time when we are stuck at home, using our wifi.

Nice try Verizon. Nice try….

The price of gasoline has dropped more than 25 cents in the last three weeks but here we are, stuck at home and really have no place to go.

Nice try Saudi Arabia. Nice try…

⧫

So I busted my work laptop.

Well, not really my laptop but the charger that feeds it the electricity it needs to keep me in touch with my work.

I need to run into the office tomorrow and hook up with the computer guy to get a new charger.

⧫

Saw this today and I kind of liked it:

Gotta love Snoop.

⧫

Here are some links that you can click on while I go grill us up some nice steaks:

• Key phrase in this story: “What is wrong with you people!”



• I have only one question: What song was playing? I mean, you can’t leave that kind of vital information out of a story. Totally justified if it was the Beatles or Jimmy Buffett. Anything else and it was a bit of an over-reaction.



• If you are interested in buying a slightly used Boeing 737, you might be able to get one pretty cheap in the next few months.



• This can't be good. Can't be good at all.



• There's gonna be a whole new bunch of alcoholics by the time this is over.



• This is why for-profit hospitals are a bad idea.

People are dumb

Every single elected official, every single member of the media and every single member of the medical community has said, "Stay home. Keep separated by at least 6 feet. Don't congregate. Take care not to expose the elderly or those with underlying respiratory issues."

Yet almost every day, the people that live across the street from me have guests over.

Oh, did I forget to mention that her father, who appears to be at least 75 or 80 years old and not in the best of health, lives with them?

Some people are just plain dumb.

⧫

Speaking of the 'rona, my 80 year old next door neighbor is dealing with chemo and radiation so he is absolutely not allowed to be out in public. We are taking care of whatever we can take care without having to be in contact with them because neither my wife nor myself wants to be the reason for one of them to get sick.

So the point of this paragraph is we are taking care of their trash removal for them because we have more than enough room in our barrel to fit their trash.

I have a feeling the trash removal company would have a problem with us putting the trash from two houses into one barrel but you know what? I don't care. It's two houses of old people who just don't have a lot of trash to begin with.

Our neighbors need help and we're gonna do what we can to help them.

This is a very crazy & weird time and the best thing any of us can do is help each other out

⧫

Here are a few links:

• I'm not sure if they are doing this because of the 'rona or if they are doing it because even on a good day, New Yorkers are assholes and no one wants to be around them.



• This is one of the many reasons no one wants to let New Yorkers in their state.



• Apparently Krazy Kim has discovered that he can beat the 'rona by shooting missiles at it.



• Maybe Karzy Kim isn't the only nutcase running a country.



• Man, when your life boils down to "It’s better to get coronavirus while looking for money than to sit at home and die from hunger",  things are pretty bad.

Movie day

We watched the movie Midway today. Not the original from 1976 with Charleton Heston and Henry Fonda but the one from 2019 starring Woody Harrelson.

I gotta tell you, I was kinda disappointed. Seems like it could have been a lot more interesting than it was. The movie spends too much time jumping from event to event instead of just focusing on Midway. It starts with Pearl Harbor, then the Marshall Islands, then the Doolittle Raid on Tokyo, and finally the Battle of Midway.

The original just focused on the Battle of Midway and it was a hell of a movie. This one tried to cover too much of World War II.

⧫

Here are some links that you can click on:

• Key phrase in this story: "Finally, my boobs were free from the stretchy confines of their decades-long nemesis."



• This sounds like a good thing until you realize that when the price of meth goes up, methheads will turn to theft and robbery to pay the price.



• Gas from Uranus. That is all.



• This quarantine thing is leaving people with too much time on their hands.



• Bummer. One of my favorite songs is Third Rock from the Sun.

Lawn is thatched

I was able to get my lawn thatched this morning. Man, that thatcher thing really pulls the dead stuff out and opens up the lawn. Hopefully we have rain throughout the spring and summer and my lawn stays nice and green.

Or not.

I don't really worry about it too much. It's just a lawn.

⧫

This "stay home and be isolated from everyone" thing means I have time on my hands. One thing I do when I have time on my hands is look for interesting or odd youtube videos.

Did you know that Weird Al Yankovic has a youtube channel?

Did you know that there are guys making a lot of money each year simply filming what they do for a living and posting it on youtube?

Did you know there is a guy who will show you how to pick almost any kind of lock?

Did you know there are guys on youtube that are bloody geniuses?

And of course, there are guys on youtube that are funny as hell.

Oh, and by the way, the real heros on youtube are the people that film themselves fixing something. I have fixed more problems with cars by simply watching a youtube video.

⧫

If you enjoyed those videos, you'll enjoy these links:

• Attention Chinese People: Please stop eating bizarre food. Sincerely, The Rest of Us.



• Key entry from our favorite police log: "10:45 a.m. A Kalispell man did some social distancing by sitting in his backyard by himself and firing his gun almost nonstop. His neighbor called to complain that it was starting to sound like 'a war zone.' "



• Speaking of people on youtube...

The big question on everyone's mind is,

"Will we get a check and if so, when will we get a check?"

Hang in there folks, now that everyone has signed the bill, the IRS expects to start the process before April 7th. The game changer for all of you is whether or not you used direct deposit when you filed your tax returns.

My problem is we owed money the last two years so there is no direct deposit information on our tax returns.

Oh well, guess we wait.

⧫

Public service announcement time:

If you, or someone you know, has lost their job because of the coronavirus shutdown and you live in Massachusetts, you should visit this state website and sign up for one of the "town halls".

This has been your public service announcement.

⧫

I just wanted to say thank you to NESN for running old baseball games and hockey games.

I'm enjoying the 2013 MLB playoffs and the 2011 Stanley Cup.

⧫

Trump should stop talking.

He should not be the one briefing the public on coronavirus.

He is a landlord, not a doctor.

He has no idea what he is talking about and it’s becoming more and more obvious every day.

“I don’t believe you need 40,000 or 30,000 ventilators.”

How the hell does he know that?

⧫

In my quest to keep my wordiness to a minimum, let's stop here and get straight to the links:

• Here's your corona nutcase of the day.



• Not everyone is out of work.



• If you work for a company that does this, you need to find a new job.



• Uh, yea, we just wanna help. Ignore those exocet missiles over there, those are strictly defensive.

This is beginning to get boring

I'm getting used to this WFH thing but it's kinda boring.

⧫

My job skills are “info sec/cyber defense/risk management/paranoid nerd” but another part of my job is to educate people. I do that by sending periodic notices to the faculty and staff about what’s going on in the world that could potentially harm them.

Having said that, I thought I’d share with you a thought I shared with them this morning. Please note, I do not use the same language with my coworkers and executive staff that I use with you. What follows is a Survival of the Fittest version of my original message…

Sometime in the next few weeks, the government will be sending out a shitload of money and if you don’t think the scammers are going to work hard to get that money, you are naïve at best, bless your heart.

• Anyone sending you unsolicited emails or calling you and directing you to a “stimulus package” website is most likely a scammer.
• Anyone asking you to enter your bank account information in order to facilitate direct deposit of stimulus funds is most likely a scammer.

As I understand it, the IRS is tasked with distributing any stimulus funds to the public. Their website at https://www.irs.gov/coronavirus should be considered the authoritative source for any information about the upcoming stimulus process.

Anyone else claiming to have the “inside scoop” is bullshitting you. Get away from them.

⧫

You can click on these if you want:

• Key phrase in this story: “...it’s far below the shortfall in revenue that the state projects it will face.”
  (Because cutting back on some of your insane spending would never occur to you, would it?)



• Gas Blob from Uranus would be a great name for a South Park episode.



• I always thought it should be called “The Wuhan Boogaloo".



• Guys in action.



• Key entry from our favorite police log: "6:46 p.m. A drunk guy was running around with a pick ax."



• If you are looking for something to relieve your boredom and you have a few old grade school recorders laying around, look no further...



• How to double your toilet paper supply.

Very few walkers out today

When I'm working, I take at least two walks every day around campus. Nothing very far, just a stroll to stretch my legs and loosen up my back. Maybe a ½ mile, tops. Now that I'm working from home, I continue to walk at least twice a day, again, just to loosen things up a little.

On Friday, Monday and Tuesday, I saw at least 10 people on each of my walks who were also wandering aimlessly around the neighborhood. It was a constant stream of, "Good morning" or "Hello".

Today, I saw only two other humans on my walks. It was a dad with his little girl who was obviously very happy to be walking with dad. She was yammering non-stop about everything she saw and he was saying, "Uh Huh" while nodding his head.

I don't care what is going on in this world, you can't help but smile at a 4 year old yammering at her dad about the trees and houses.

⧫

The virus has reached my town but I'm pretty sure my wife and I are still 'rona-free.

Then again, how the hell would we know. They say you can have it for up to 4 weeks before you have any symptoms. Besides, the tree pollen is out and I'm enjoying my seasonal watery eyes, runny nose and mild sinus headache.

It's my favorite time of the year....

⧫

I notice that the news programs are still running their "what's closed" ticker at the bottom of the screen.

Why are they running that? Isn't everything closed?

Maybe they should be running a "what's open" ticker.

⧫

I'll try to be less wordy and stop myself right here.

Enjoy these links while I watch game three of the 2013 ALDS. For the record, I'm pretty sure the Red Sox lost that game but that's okay, I'll still watch:

• The man is an arrogant, self-centered boob.



• I believe this is what is known as “Survival of the Fittest”. Or in this case, survival of the smartest. If you’re stupid enough to go to a coronavirus party, you are a burden to our society and deserve to suffer whatever fate Darwin heaps upon you.



• I don't speak Italian so I have no idea what he is saying or what the description says. All I know is he tried to live-stream a Catholic mass on Facebook and accidentally turned on the cartoon filters.



• You gotta love dogs.



• I didn't really care for young, aggressive, entrepreneurial Bill Gates but I like old, gentle, philanthropic Bill Gates.

Getting used to WFH

I want to make a counterpoint to some recent news headlines that seem to be designed to foster fear and despair.

• “Coronavirus forces New York City schools into daunting experiment with teaching from afar”
  There is nothing “daunting” about Skype, Zoom, Facetime, etc… People have been using the internet for real-time video conferences since the mid-90s. And if it is not possible for real-time classroom discussions, having a teacher recording a lecture and uploading it to youtube isn’t all that hard. Kids do it all the time.


• “U.S. delays immigration hearings for migrants in Mexico amid coronavirus”
  The US is delaying all hearings and most trials. We’re in the midst of a pandemic for cripes sake, don’t you think people have better things to do than listen to some Columbian without any trustworthy or legitimate means of identification try convince us they aren’t really a murderous drug runner?


• “Exclusive: U.S. axed CDC expert job in China months before virus outbreak”
  We’ve been hearing about this for a few weeks now. Seriously? This is news? The government eliminates and creates positions all the time. I’m willing to bet that Obama eliminated hundreds of jobs when his administration took over.


• “The Latest: Trump order makes it crime to stockpile supplies”
  No, the Trump order makes it a crime to stockpile “medical/protective" supplies. You can stockpile all the beef jerky you want but if you’ve got a thousand boxes of N95 masks or nitrile exam gloves, you deserve to be in prison in the same cell as the coronavirus guy.


• “New York coronavirus cases surge 38% overnight to 20,875”
  No, they have increased the availability of testing. They have the same number of infected people, they just know about more of them now.

When you read the news, try to remember that they are using words designed to sensationalize the story and make you want to read it, thus getting them more clicks and increasing their advertising revenue. I’m not saying they are lying to you but take what they say with a grain of salt.

Applying simple common sense will go a long way in making your day a little less stressful.

⧫

Here's a thought:
When Charlie Baker justifiably shut down thousands of “non-essential” businesses across the state, tens of thousands of people lost their jobs. He also ordered the closure of most state buildings and told “non-essential” state employees to stay home. Funny thing is I have not heard of a single state employee losing their job.

Seems like the state thinks it’s employees more important than the residents of state.

⧫

I have a suggestion: Since the market is down 30% and thousands, if not millions, of people are out of work because of this, I suggest we cut the salaries for elected federal officials to $5.00 per day until they come up with a solution that has a chance of working. I figure $5.00 is enough to buy a cup of soup each day.

Wouldn’t want them to starve to death…

⧫

I realize I've been kinda wordy the last few days. I blame it on this whole "work from home" thing. I'll shut up now and give you some links:

• We got a better supply of these things than we do of toilet paper.



• This is the best definition of social distancing.



• When you're chewing on life's gristle,
  Don't grumble, give a whistle!



• Only in Pennsylvania.

I'm a little pissed off.

Dear elected federal official,

There are 435 members of the House of Representative.
There are 5 delegates from the Virgin Islands, the District of Columbia and Puerto Rico.
There are 100 members of the Senate.
There are 2 members of the Executive Branch, the President and the Vice President.
This means there are 542 individuals tasked with seeing to it that the citizens of the United States are governed correctly, compassionately and fairly.

I don't care if you are a democrat or a republican.
I don't care if you are a senator, a congressman or the president.
I don't care if you are black, yellow, white or blue.
I don't care if you are gay, straight, trans or undecided.
I don't care if you are catholic, muslim, hindu or spaghetti monster.

I'm going to say something that I've wanted to say for along time:
You are all assholes, each and every one of you. All 542 of you deserves to be put on trial for the dereliction of duty.

We are under attack by a virus that was thoroughly documented and researched as far back as 1972 but no one ever funded any research into what medicines might prevent it or even slow it's spread.

We are experiencing a pandemic that was accurately predicted back in 2007 but no one ever spent a dime to act upon that prediction from those respected researchers.

Our economy is being turned into shit because people are not allowed to go to work.

We have a president who thinks he knows more than the recognized medical experts and continues to contradict them at every turn.

And now we learn that even though the citizens of the United States are losing their life savings, their jobs and probably their homes, you goddamned idiots can't stop playing politics or being self-centered spoiled little brats for 10 fucking minutes and do something that just might help us out.

Go fuck yourselves.

Sincerely,
All Of Us.

⧫

Try as I might, I just can't stay home 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. So this morning, I decided to run into the office and get some things done there.

I was home by 11:00 and now that the Governor has basically said, "stay home, don't go anywhere", I won't go back there until mid April.

⧫

I'm going to put on the news and get more pissed off. Then I'm going to put on some baseball and hockey reruns and hopefully lower my POL (pissed off level).

While I do that, you can do these:

• Here some photographs of famous places during the rona quarantine.



• On the upside, we might end up halting climate change.



• Key idiotic phrase in this story about an idiot: "Spell says if anyone in his congregation contracts covid-19 he will heal them through God."

No more spills (kinda)

I managed to change the oil on the remaining three machines today without spilling any. Well, almost any. I did lose an ounce or so from the snowblower but that's because the drain is located right behind the drive linkage and the oil initially came out, hit the linkage and flowed down the side of the catch pan. Fortunately I was able to quickly move the catch pan so only a little bit hit the floor.

I know that I'm a bit of a fanatic about the oil in my small engines but trust me, the best thing you can do for a small engine is change the oil on a regular basis. Spending $4.00 and a half hour of time twice a year will save you hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars in repair or replacement costs.

⧫

I paid $1.87 per gallon for gasoline yesterday.

But....

Since I have no place to go, meh, no big deal.

⧫

I have just discovered that starting this Monday, NESN is going to rerun the 2013 Red Sox playoff games and the 2011 Bruins playoff games. The Red Sox playoffs will be on at 6:00 and the Bruins playoffs will be on at 8:00.

My life just became a little less boring.

⧫

I can't help but notice that the number of scam phone calls and spam emails I'm getting have dropped drastically since the coronavirus started making it difficult for people to cluster in large groups. I suspect that means the "call centers" and email factories in Eastern Europe, Central Asia, Jamaica and Haiti may have been forced to shut down.

Hopefully they stay that way.

⧫

Because I'm a little bit odd, I've been doing research on this whole coronavirus thing and I found this very interesting document from 2007 that pretty accurately describes our current situation. It goes so far as to identify the starting point of the pandemic with the line:

The presence of a large reservoir of SARS-CoV-like viruses in horseshoe bats, together with the culture of eating exotic mammals in southern China, is a time bomb.

Maybe it would be a good idea for our alleged "leaders" to go to the University of Hong Kong, find Vincent C. C. Cheng, Susanna K. P. Lau, Patrick C. Y. Woo, & Kwok Yung Yuen, and ask them what they think we should do. They've obviously spent time looking into this disease and maybe they know more about it than our current President.

⧫

Here are some links:

• Not only should this mayor be removed from office, she should face criminal charges for abuse of power.



• Key phrase in this story: "Oh dear, I’ve just caught fire."



• Only in Florida.



• Toilet Paper Alternatives would be a great name for a 1990s punk rock band.

Had a small oil issue today

My plan today was to change all the oil in my machines, starting with my lawn tractor.

Normally, changing the oil on my tractor is quick and painless. I put a tin pan under to drain, twist the drain to unlock and open it and let the oil run into the pan.

This is what the drain looks like:

Unfortunately, the the little slots you see on the side were jammed with dirt and I could not get it open. That meant I had to remove the drain from the engine and when I did that, 2 quarts of old oil spilled all over my garage floor.

So anyways....  two hours later, two quarts of 5W-30 motor oil and one new oil filter and I am ready for the summer.

Tomorrow will be the push mower, the snowblower and the generator. Those all have old fashioned oil drains that require a wrench to remove but don't spill old oil all over the garage floor.

Oh, I need to buy some more kitty litter because there will be more spills in my future and when it comes to oil spills, kitty litter is the best stuff for cleaning it up.

⧫

We made a trip to the grocery store today and there is still no toilet paper.

Somebody has a shitload of toilet paper and I hope they choke on it.

⧫

Enjoy these links:

• Key phrase in this story: "...these groups do not want to interact with outsiders."



• New York is gonna be filled with long-haired drunks.



• At least it wasn't beer.



• Too bad there was nothing there to clean up the mess.

Day 1 of WFH

I've now got a full day of working from home under my belt and I'm not sure I like it. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate it either.

I figure I'll save $30 a week on gasoline and I can sleep a little later if I'm so inclined. My wife and staked out our work areas so that we don't bother each other when we are in meetings. She set herself up in her little work office in the living room and I'm staying on my couch in the family room.

I did spend some time chatting with coworkers via Slack but it's not the same as when they are plopped down in a chair in my office with their feet on my desk and we are bitching about something.

It's quiet. Too damned quiet. And I don't feel like I'm being productive, even though I managed to write a some pretty slick code.

I'll probably go in on Monday for a few hours.

⧫

The market seemed like it was going to have two days with no loss until that idiot in New York basically ordered everyone to stay home and every business to be shut down.

I'm not sure that will help with anything and it caused a DJIA upswing of 1% to turn into a DJIA decline of 4%

Idiot...

⧫

The Red Sox are officially in a world of hurt.

Chris Sale is out for the season (if there is a season) due to surgery on his elbow.

This means they have two starters - Nate Eovaldi and Eduardo Rodriguez. Everyone else on the roster is a reliever or a closer.

They really need Ryan Braiser and those new guys, Martin Perez & Collin McHugh, to step up and build a rotation that can actually win some games.

⧫

Here are today's links:

• How do this and this not fall under "insider trading" rules?



• Oh, wait, maybe they do fall under "insider trading" rules...



• Well, I already know how they turn out but at least it's something.



• And then there was one. Bernie is a narcissist who will never drop out because he believes everyone loves him.



• Only in Florida.

Working from home

I bit the bullet today and left work at 1:00. I probably won't go back until Tuesday depending on how this works out for me. Like I said, I'm not a good "work from home" kind of guy.

I'm kind of winging it....

⧫

Like I said last night, I'm watching curling.

Turns out I DVR'd four hours of curling sometime in the last few days so I got that going for me.

I miss baseball, I miss hockey and I miss football but at least I have curling.

⧫

While I watch some curling, you can check these out:

• This is one of the most "Boston" things you will see today.



• Key phrase in this story: "...we’re just trying to figure out anyway we can take care of our people."



• Presenting the winners in the Mugshot of the Month contest.



• Apparently no one told them the bars are closed.

I'm watching curling!

Sorry this is late. I had a lot to do today and after work, I made some trips to multiple stores looking for toilet paper. We're not concerned about us but we're pretty sure my mother-in-law is running low.

We aren't allowed to visit her because of the rona but my wife thinks she might have three or four rolls left. That's enough for several weeks but I think we'd feel better knowing she had more.

⧫

In other coronavirus news, my daughter informed us that the university has cancelled graduation and that after 10 years of college, she will not have the opportunity to walk into a huge hall and receive her diploma.

She is a little bummed but her mom is making plans for a gathering back here with family and friends that will include some pomp and circumstance.

So I guess I won't be flying out to Iowa to watch her become a veterinarian but I'll be able to watch her actually be a veterinarian once she is back in New England.

⧫

I made a decision today about working from home. I'm going to work at the office this week and then start doing a couple of days there, a couple of days home the following weeks.

The college really would like us to work all the time from home but there needs to be some number of us there to handle any problems. I'm not a support guy but I'm still smart enough to support some things if the need arises so I figure I'll do my part to help out.

Besides, like I said the other day, I'm not really a work from home kind of guy.

⧫

Here's a link or two or three for you:

• Like I said, there is going to be a mini-baby boom sometime in December or January.



• Oh sure. Isn't that always the way. After we paid ours, they decide to postpone things. Those lousy cork-soakers, they're all iceholes.



• Key entry from our favorite police log: "4:25 p.m. There was an abandoned wheelchair on Shady Lane."

I don't know

I've never liked working from home. I like going to an office, kibitzing with fellow office people and doing office things. My employer is pushing us to work from home whenever possible and I'm kind of reluctant to jump on the bandwagon.

But if push comes to shove and I'm forced into a work from home deal, I'll set up a little hideout here at my house and treat it like an office. My office buddies and I can kibits over video conferencing.

⧫

I recommend to all of you that if you have a regular restaurant that you frequent, you should consider going there and getting some takeout. Those people are struggling and can use whatever business we can give them.

I'm going to head over to my buddies pizza joint/bar and order some food this week and you should do the same. We should all help the small business guy remain in business because if they close, it's not just them that loses out, it's all the people that work for them that will lose their jobs when the joint goes out of business.

⧫

Tom Brady is no longer a Patriot. This is causing a lot of people some distress but I'm of a mind that he should just retire.

Like I said yesterday, I suspect he will end up in San Diego but that's all just guess work on my part.

⧫

Here are a few links that I swear will not give you coronavirus:

• You gotta love The Sun. They have all the cutting edge news.



• Bet they all wish they stayed in their dorms.



• So in other words, we're all gonna get it and there is nothing we can do about it.



• I normally avoid any website that uses the word "God" in it's URL but I'll make an exception for this page.



• Our species is filled with morons.

Massive unemployment

Right now, every waitress, waiter, bartender, bus boy, hostess, etc... is out of work. They have all just been told, there is no work for you. Add this to all the people that used to work at large venues, putting on events and the people who work in the travel industry (airlines, cruise, hotel, planning) and we are essentially in a depression-like economy.

This is bad folks. real bad, and I have questions:

How do bars serve “only through delivery and takeout”? I thought that was illegal in this state?

Will there be baseball in December of this year?

Since we aren't allowed to gather in large groups, what about funerals?

Will my retirement account ever recover from this?

⧫

I'm going to warm up some leftovers and eat some dinner.

Here are some links:

• I predict he'll end up in San Diego. They are the only team crazy enough to pay a 43 year old quarterback a shitload of money.



• Oh man. I never even thought about all the socks, towels, old t-shirts, etc...



• You gotta love The Star. They're more trashy than The Sun.



• Listen up people: Not having toilet paper is not a reason to call 911.

There was milk today

We went to the grocery store this morning to do our weekly shopping. The milk case was stocked but the toilet paper aisle as still empty.

I feel bad for anyone that is running out of toilet paper.

I feel real bad for anyone that shares a workspace with anyone that has run out of toilet paper.

⧫

I just want to complain one more time about not having hockey, baseball or golf to watch.

I'll stop whining now.

⧫

All this "self isolating" is going to result in a mini-baby boom in 9 months. There's gonna be a lot of babies born in December this year.

⧫

Here are some links you can visit if you want:

• I know a "prepper" guy who posted an annoying, "Told you so!" on his twittertweeter. I replied, "Hoarders are causing the problem, not the virus. You can't prep for people's stupidity."



• I know some people who are kinda pissed about this. Those people may have a gambling problem.



• Oh man, this is going to piss a lot of people off.



• Hey kids, I hope your school has AC because you're gonna be sitting in class in July and August.



• Key phrase in this story: "Thankfully, the owner of the bag was very helpful and also left his identification with his contact information and address."

I stopped in to the grocery store today.

All those news stories about assholes hoarding toilet paper are true. This is the toilet paper aisle at the Big Y on Cooley St in Springfield, MA:

And to make matters worse, this is the milk case:

What the hell is wrong with people.

I told Pat today that there was a great line in the movie Men In Black. Will Smith says, "Why the big secret? People are smart. They can handle it." Tommy Lee Jones says, "A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it."

Whoever wrote that line is one smart person.

⧫

It's late and I need to get some sleep.

Here is a link or two:

• Remember when the democrats were screaming about Trump's border control strategy? They're kinda quiet lately.



• The weirdos are still among us.



• Not only are they still among us, you can smell them a mile away.

It's offical, we have lost our collective mind.

I keep hearing words like emergency, crisis, disaster, and my personal favorite, global pandemic.

Look, I get it, this is a virus that causes flu-like symptoms. It may be fatal in the elderly who have existing respiratory issues. If you get it, you can spread it quickly. I understand all that.

What I don't understand is how isolating ourselves and stopping school/work is going to do any good? The economy is basically screwed and one day, when there is no global coronavirus pandemic, we are all going to be sitting around, wondering why.

I can tell you why. It's because we are all acting like deer at a watering hole, afraid to stick our face into the water and drink deep because we are too busy looking around for imaginary lions.

⧫

I ran into my buddy Chris today in a grocery store. I said, "Hey!" He said, "Hey!" and we both stuck out our hands and in unison we said "Coronavirus!" as we vigorously shook hands.

Two old ladies immediately turned around and gave us looks that would have melted steel. They both kinda huffed and walked as far away from us as possible.

We're funny guys.

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Before we get to the links, I wanted to give you this documentation on "Working from Home" during our global pandemic:

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Enjoy these links if you want:

• You gotta love The Sun. They have all the cutting edge news.



• Hmmm, let's see... Should I get my medical information from The New England Journal Of Medicine or should I get my medical information from Rolling Stone magazine. Decisions, decisions....



• Ouch! Ouch, ouch, ouch....



• Televangelist: "Feel the power of God flow through me into you! Remember, do not make your checks out to God. He is too busy to cash your checks. Make your checks out to me and I will get the cash to God!"



• Australia: What doesn't kill ya, sneaks up on you in your groceries.



• Ouch! Ouch, ouch, ouch....

Everybody is shutting everything down

MLB has shut down spring training and they are delaying the start of the regular season by two weeks. The NHL is pausing the season for two weeks. The NBA is cancelling games and suspending the remainder of the season. The NCAA is canceling the playoffs and the PGA has announced the tournaments will go on but no fans will be allowed at the courses.

Not only do I have no idea what the hell I'm going to watch in the evenings now,  the damage to the economy is going to be massive. We're talking billions, if not trillions of dollars that are going to be lost because this doesn't just affect the teams, it affects the restaurants, hotels, souvenir shops, etc... that are around the arenas/parks/fields.

Add to that the hit to the cruise industry, the airlines and all the entertainment venues like movie theaters, broadway theaters, bars, clubs, etc... and you can see why I say trillions.

This is going to get bad...

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Speaking of spring training, my buddy Walt tells me he has no idea what he's going to do now. He's actually thinking about heading back here because the only reason he goes to Florida is to watch baseball.

Of all the problems to have, this is not a bad one.

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While I figure out my entertainment options for the next few weeks, you can visit these links:

• Sorry folks. Park's closed. Moose out front shoulda told ya.



• This sounds like a terrible idea.



• I can pretty much guarantee you that this isn't going to happen.

Not a late day

I actually left my office early today and got home well before 5:00. That was when I remembered I had forgotten to stop and get some much needed groceries.

After getting changed and heading back out to get my lunch food, I made my way back home. Once there, I realized I needed to get The Dogs latrine cleaned up in case it rained so I went out to do that.

So I guess what I'm getting at is this is late because I had shit to do.

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The Bruins managed to stave off the Flyers and win last nights game. This makes them the first team to 100 points and they maintain an 8 point lead in the NHL.

It was a good game to watch and I actually made it through all three periods.

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I just discovered that there is a baseball game on this evening so I'll be watching that.

While I do that, you can click on these:

• Key poster in this collection: "Very Very Very Very Muddy. A lot of Mud."



• Key phrase in this story: "They got their daughter some Lysol wipes and the all-you-can-drink package."



• Unknown Cow would be a great name for a 1950s rock-a-billy band.



• Japan: Land of the incredibly insane.

Late day

I didn't leave work until 5:15 today and then I had a few things to do when I got home.

Now it's hockey time.

All that means is you get these few links:

• You just gotta love dogs.



• Looks like coronavirus is impacting the orgy scene as well as having a financial impact on these poor girls who are just trying to earn a buck.



• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminal of the Day.

I'm never going to be able to retire

The stock market dropped quite a bit today. And by "quite a bit" I mean a shit-ton.

On February 12, the DJIA was 29,551 points.
Today, the DJIA is 23,851 points.
That is a downturn of 5,700 points.
That is a loss of 19%

We have lost 20% of our money in less than 30 days because the freakin media are scaring the crap out of people over a version of the flu that is doing less damage to us than the normal annual flu we deal with year.

I wish they would shut up for a while and start listening to what all the medical experts are saying: Don't panic, wash your hands, use disinfecting wipes on things that are touched by a lot of people like grocery carts, airplane seats, David Muir's mom, etc....

And if that news isn't enough to make you a little pissed off, maybe this will push you over the edge.

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For the first time in a long time, I'm doing some coding.

I'm trying to put together a simple reporting system that takes in two feeds and merges, splits, manipulates, folds, spindles & mutilates them to produce something that shows who has completed what training.

Problem is, the feed from the training outfit is in excel and it contains data on all training, including people who are no longer that university. Also, the only field that is unique is email address and some people used their personal email instead of their work email. This means there is no common unique field between the training data and the employee data.

I wrote it to rely on excel for a lot of stuff but that was a major mistake. Excel does not like to treat spreadsheets as if they were simple data files and as a result, my process runs like a dog.

I've got to get rid of excel and use real files instead.

Either way, I'm kind of enjoying myself.

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I'm currently watching a Red Sox / Braves game that started at 6:00 so I need to pay attention.

While I do that, you can click on these:

• You gotta love dogs.



• Why would anyone give one of those little bastards to anyone as a present? Damned rodents...



• Key phrase in this story about rednecks: "It's not known if the couple is having a boy or a girl."



• Rest easy residents of Rimersburg, it's only a matter of time before the criminal is behind bars and you are once again safe to go about your daily lives.



• "Italy is closed folks. The moose out front shoulda told ya."

Walt says it was a boring game.

I was exchanging text messages with my buddy Walt down in Ft. Meyers. He was sitting behind third base and complaining that the game was boring. I didn't tell him that he was sitting in a ballpark, in Florida, watching a game in person which is was better than sitting on a couch, in Massachusetts, watching a game on the TV.

I managed to get a picture of Walt off my TV. He is the cranky looking guy in the bright blue shirt just above the letters NBA.

All that aside, it was indeed a little boring at the beginning but by the 6th inning, things started to pick up a bit. The Twins scored first but the Red Sox turned it on and managed to tie it up 1-1.

By the time the game ended, the Red Sox were up 7-6.

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Here are a few links you can click on:

• He's a sensitive guy who is going to become even more sensitive.



• Key phrase in this story: "But not just any rock."



• I'm betting someone is in big trouble with their captain...

HAAARRRRD! HAAARRRRRD! WHOA... WHOAAAA....

Guess what I found on television last night:

That's right everybody! It's CURLING NIGHT IN AMERICA!

I love curling.

My wife thinks I'm crazy but that's okay. She also can't figure out why I like baseball, hockey and football.

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I dragged the gas grill off the porch and onto the patio this afternoon. I gave it a good cleaning and then fired it up to make sure all is well. We are now ready to grill up some steak this evening.

There is very little in the way of food that can beat a steak grilled outdoors.

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The Red Sox played two split-squad games today. The group that played the Phillies got their ass kicked while the group that played the Blue Jays won handily.

NESN carried the game against the Blue Jays so I got to watch Evoldi pitch. He continues to look like the Nasty Nate of 2018. The batters had a tough time hitting anything he threw at them.

It's going to be an interesting 2020 baseball season.

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Now I'm going to go outside and grill up some steak. After that, I'm going to watch the Bruins host the Lightning. Hopefully I make it through all three periods.

Here are a few links for you to enjoy:

• Meet Richard “Monty” Montgomery, the latest member of the A-Team.



• Researchers: Contributing to the betterment of our society or a complete waste of perfectly good oxygen? We report, you decide.



• Is anybody shocked by this? I'm not shocked by this. Are you shocked by this? No one should be shocked by this. And that includes Donald "It's the greatest peace treaty ever. No one has ever had a better peace treaty" Trump.



• Only in Florida.

Not much to prattle about

It's Friday and as I often do (once or twice a month), I stopped for adult beverages with some friends.

That means you get a short post.

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Here are some links:

• I'd like to say this is what the media has degenerated to but they've been pulling this kind of bullshit for 20 years.



• The Dr. Joel Masturbator sounds interesting....



• Can someone explain to me why he needed to smuggle eels? I mean, what do people do with eels? Is this a Chinese thing that I just don't get?



• These people are idiots.

And she is gone

Lizzie took the hint and dropped out.

I guess that just leaves Joe "I'll take him behind the gym and beat the hell out of him" Biden, Bernie "Yea, I'm a communist. What about it?" Sanders and Tulsi "I'm way better looking than those two" Gabbard trying to get the democratic nomination to run for president.

Given those choices, I'd vote for Tulsi.

Or as her troops like to call her, Major Gabbard.

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I'm going to go do the dishes and then put on the hockey game.

You can visit these:

• Key phrase in this story: “I guess we touched on some sensitive topic.”



• Why is she telling us about how hard it is to be famous? She's not famous, is she? Maybe her next interview will be about how hard it is to be a brain surgeon.



• Here's you daily coronavirus tip: Don't go to the hospital.



• I really hope the word "streaker" has a different meaning now than it did back in the 70s.



• Let me say this again: I am not interested in ever going on a cruise. Those things are giant petri dishes.

Looks like LIzzie Warren isn't as popular as she thought

She didn't even win Massachusetts.

She should maybe take the hint and drop out. She should also probably consider apologizing to every member of the criminal justice system, every legitimate member of an American Indian tribe and anyone who drinks beer.

She will never get my vote for senator and she should never get yours either. The woman flat out lied to us when she said she would not run for president and does not deserve our support ever again.

As for Mike "I know what's best for you" Bloomberg, he decided that throwing his own money down the drain on a failed presidential bid was a potential indication that maybe he's an idiot and he dropped out.

Then, in order to get on the list of people that Biden owes a favor to, he threw his support behind Biden.

But the best news is that the primary in Massachusetts is over and we get a break from all the campaigning. At least until fall when the general election fires up and, once again, we get bombarded by a whole new collection of televised lies.

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No hockey tonight but I have a shitload of "How the Universe Works" on the DVR.

While I watch some of those, you might find these interesting:

• They should get their dog to lick them...



• You gotta love The Sun. They have all the best news.



• There are gonna be a lot of pissed off Italian mothers.

A brokered convention?

Turns out Mike "Turn in your guns" Bloomberg is plotting some kind of overthrow of the democratic convention.

I'm not entirely sure what he intends to do but it looks like he is trying to force a "contested convention". This is a polite way of saying, "No one is going to win because I'm going to claim this is all a fraud!". If that happens, the delegates are released from their voter commitment and will be free to cast their votes for whoever they want.

I suspect Mike "No soda for you" Bloomberg will step in with his billions and buy the delegates.

Then again, I don't really know anything and I'm just making all this shit up.

But.....

.....if Mike "Stop & Frisk" Bloomberg does win the democratic presidential nomination, I want you to remember this post.

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For the record, this past Sunday I shook hands with gentleman who is Chinese and to my knowledge, I do not have coronavirus.

But if I do end up with coronavirus, Henry has got some explaining to do.

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Hockey is on the NBC Sports Network at 7:30 this evening. That means lots of play stoppage for television commercials which equates to a game that probably won't end until 10:00. It's what NBCSN does.

On the upside, I'm really grateful to have something other than "Super Tuesday!" primary coverage to watch.

While I do that,  you can click on these:

• Australia: What doesn't kill ya, gives you a fake bad review.



• The Great Rubber Chicken Caper has been solved.



• Only in Florida.

My back hurts

Just thought I'd mention that.

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Time to talk about the Red Sox and which new kids I like.

I like Josh Ockimey. I like Bobby Dalbec. I have always liked Tzu Wei Lin.

I'm not entirely sold on that kid Jeter Downs but that's because I haven't seen him play very much.

As for the rest of the team, I'm glad to have Mitchy Two Bags back but I'm not happy that Brock Holt is no longer with the team. I'm glad to see Evoldi is pitching like the Nasty Nate of 2018 but I'm a little concerned Sale is starting late.

My hopes for the team are that they win the World Series. My expectations for the team are that they will entertain me and if they make the playoffs, I'll just get to enjoy them playing extra games.

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Nothing has changed in the hockey world since the Bruins, the Blues and the Lightning have all been off. The Bruins pick it back up again tomorrow when they head down to Tampa Bay to play the Lightning.

The Blues will take on the Rangers tomorrow right around the same time so hopefully I'll know where things stand before I fall asleep.

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As for tonight, I'm going to watch some more Gold Rush and fall asleep early.

You might like these:

• You gotta love college students.



• Key phrase in this story: "We had a really heavy night of drinking."



• Oh Canada.



• At this rate, we'll all be dead in maybe 1 or 2 thousand years.



• Here's some more news on Randy Andy.

A lazy day

Not much going on on the interwebs so I didn't spend a lot of time surfing them. I did notice that Liz Warren failed to win any delegates in South Carolina.

I gotta wonder when she is going to drop out of the race...

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Not much else to chat about so here are a couple of links:

• Key headline in this story: "119 People Quarantined In A Brothel In Spain."



• Not sure this is a terrible idea.