Lawn watering isn't working.

My lawn has begun the process of turning brown despite the fact I water it every day. My fertilizer guy says it's because I cut it too short. I told him my lawn tractor and my push mower are both set at the highest setting. I can't cut it any longer.

I think my lawn fertilizer guy is making shit up.

He's good at what he does but when he can't explain why the lawn is starting to turn brown, he first says, "Well, you got to water it." That's when I tell him I water it every day unless it rains. Then he says, "Well, you're cutting it too short."

Sorry man but my lawn mower is no different than any lawn mower in the neighborhood. I didn't buy a special "short-cutting" lawnmower. I've got your basic lawn tractor and your basic push mower. Both are name brands and both work like champs.

I guess I'm just destined to have brownish grass.

⧫

Tonights baseball game is twenty years old but that's okay, I'll still watch it. I'll wonder who half the players are but I'll still watch it.

As for the hockey game, it's from last year so that's not too bad. I'll at least recognize most of the players and remember their names.

While I watch those, you can visit these:

• Oh Canada.



• Key entry from our favorite police log: "The mother later reported that she was able to get into the room by using the old credit card trick."



• This is why I never let fire performers practice in my house.



• Religion: Killing innocent people for more than 3,000 years.



• I'm pretty sure people are just making shit up now.



• I spent a good many years driving through Vermont when my daughter was attending college in Colchester. I can attest to the fact that they do indeed have moose in the state. I also believe that those moose don't give a shit about you or your car.