Taxable income

When I applied for my unemployment benefits they asked if I wanted taxes withheld. I, being a smart individual, said, "Yes. Please take some of the money that the government is giving me and give it back to the government because, what the hell, I don't need it anyways!" That meant that each week, a certain amount of my benefit went directly to the federal and state governments.

What did not get withheld was FICA which means my eventual social security benefit will be slightly lower.

I hate when my eventual benefit is slightly lower...

⧫

You should click on these:

• I'm not saying he's right, I'm just not saying he's wrong.



• I'm still unsure what a "yob" is but apparently they're now throwing vegetables.



• 🎝He lives in a pineapple under the sea.🎜



• Here's your Naked Guy In The News story.



• Only in Pennsylvania.



• Only in Florida.

Not much going on today.

I'm still trying to recover from our late night last Saturday night.

I used to be a night owl but then I got married, had kids and built a career, all of which seemed destined to make me a morning person.

I'm not a good morning person but I'm a worse night owl.

⧫

So it appears that a someone decided to shoot up a mosque in Quebec yesterday and man, the media went crazy reporting everything they could think of. At one point there was a lot of stuff being posted that identified two white supremacists as the shooters.

Then there was a lot of stuff being put out about three men walking in, shouting allahu akbar and shooting the place up.

Finally, there is information being posted about two men being arrested. One guy is supposedly a shooter and the other guy is a witness. I'm still unsure how a "witness" gets arrested but what the hell, it's Canada.

Here's what I know: Some sick sonuvabitch shot a bunch of people who were sitting around praying and this is probably going to turn into a massive argument about guns and Trump. What it really should be is a patient wait while people who investigate these kinds of things do their job.

If the politicians and the social warriors can shut their mouths for a bit and let the investigators do their job, we might one day know who did what and why they did it.

⧫

You can visit these links if you would like:

• Hey, it's what us dads do and no one can stop us from doing it.



• Only in Florida.



• Adds new meaning to the term "Siss, Boom, Bra"



• Key phrase in this story: "Our hamster habitat is collapsing."



• Only in Pennsylvania.

Even busier day today

I know it's been a while since we had a "Long Day, No Post" kind of day but today is one of those days.

I'm freakin' tired because I had a long night last night.

We were in Northampton until midnight last night listening to our youngest and his band-mates at the Iron Horse:

That's means I'm tired and not in the mood.

Perhaps tomorrow will be more informative.

Busy day today

Many things are getting done that don't really involve the interwebs.

⧫

Since I know you're interested, I'll let you know that the tape let go on my laptop this morning so I went and got the "super tape" that I keep in my workbench. I only use it for special occasions because once you put it on, it doesn't like to come off.

The problem is that the CPU of the laptop is located in the same area where the case is cracked. This makes it one of the warmest places on the machine. Because of the heat, the tape adhesive tends to loosen fairly quickly. I'm hoping my super tape last until hell freezes over or I get a job, whichever comes first.

⧫

Here are some links:

• I wonder what you got if you asked for the normal every-day soggy fries?



• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminal of the Week.



• A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail. A good friend is in jail with you.



• It's only a matter of time before they outlaw those things.



• Democrats: Making America great again, one law at a time.

There. I fixed it.

There is nothing that can't be fixed with a screw and some tape....

In case you can't figure it out, that is a picture of what happened to my laptop when the hinge cracked. I put a screw into the tie-down slot and then stuck a piece of tape over it. That screw is really all that is holding the top and bottom of the shell together.

And I use the word "together" only in the loosest sense.

Other than that, the damned thing runs like a champ so like I said yesterday, I'm in no hurry to replace it. I'll wait until I have a steady income rolling in before I make an investment.

As for this laptop, I got my money's worth out of it. It was purchased when my youngest was a senior in high school. He graduated last year so it's about 5 or 6 years old and I have no complaints.

⧫

Would you like to know why I dislike Windows 10? It's because Microsoft is slipping things into it that I don't want.

For instance, three or four days ago, I suddenly started getting popups telling me to log into my OneDrive account.

I don't have a OneDrive account.

I couldn't figure out what started causing this and today I went through the installed applications on my laptop and found that on January 24, an application called OneDrive was installed on my machine.

I did not ask for that application, I did not authorize the installation of that application and I certainly don't want that application.

Hey Microsoft! I uninstalled your stupid program! Stop putting things on my computer, ya big wankers.

⧫

Here are some links that you can use to entertain yourself:

• They're gonna love him in prison.



• Are they really sure it fell out of his jacket?



• Classy Couple of the Year.



• I've pee'd in a bucket. Can I get a few bucks?



• This is also true of any bar that is having a "Beer and Chili Cook-Off".

My laptop is busted.

For the past year, one of the hinges on my laptop screen has been cracking. This morning it finally let go and now I have a laptop that is permanently open.

I'm going to see if I can find a way to secure it so it doesn't snap off entirely and baby this little beastie for as long as possible. I'd like to wait until I find gainful employment before I jump on the new laptop bandwagon because I think it might be time for me to make the switch to a Mac.

Microsoft finally pushed me over the edge with Windows 10. It's not that I think it's a terrible operating system but it does have some quirky behavior. For instance, I have a small server on my network and I back up to it on a pretty regular basis. Windows 10 allows you to set up automatic backups. Unfortunately, windows keeps forgetting my credentials and I have to log into the server at least once a week.

Also, they changed the process that runs programs, or as they now call them, "apps". The problem is these "apps" periodically shut themselves down with no explanation. I understand that programs sometimes go a little wonky but when it just goes away with no reason, it leaves you wondering if maybe you have something bad on your computer.

So the reason I want to wait is because Apple charges a lot for the MacBook and waiting until I'm employed means I can get a nice one with a few extra bells and whistles.

⧫

The folks that have been running our little ex-MMers group put together a job fair today so I spent a few hours there. I talked with a couple of recruiters and HR folks so hopefully something comes out of this.

As I've been saying all along, I'll keep trying until I find something that meets my requirements. I'm not going to put myself back into a shitty environment.

⧫

Here are a few links for you to check out.

Be careful and don't step in anything:

• Dude, you got the stuff? No dude, I thought you had the stuff.



• Key phrase in this story: "...police discovered a very short driver behind the wheel..."



• Here's your Naked Guy In The News story.

Flying, Grocery Shopping, Job Hunting

That was my day today.

It started at 8:30 when I suddenly decided that today would be a good day to practice my cross wind landings. I called and was able to reserve a plane for 10:00.

I had enough time to get in five landings in a wind out of 280° at 13 knots that was occasionally gusting to 23 knots. The plane bounced around bit on the final approach but it really wasn't too bad. I managed to put it down smooth as glass for all five landings.

Here's the radar plot of my pattern work. I realize it's not much but it shows consistency in a constantly changing wind and I'm kind of proud of it.

After that it was grocery shopping and then job hunting, neither one of which is very exciting.

⧫

You can click on these few links if want:

• Here's an explanation for your Naked Guy In The News story.



• Australia: They say things no one understands.



• We don't pay cops enough.

Yay! We didn't lose power!

Listening to the steady drumbeat of the sleet on my windows last night, I was pretty sure that at some point we were gonna lose power. Let's face it, that's what happens to us poor folk out here in the sticks, we lose power.

Fortunately, there was no buildup of ice on the trees or power lines so our electrons kept flowing. This meant my access to the internets remained intact I was able to spend time webernateing today.

⧫

Since I'm boycotting the news lately, I don't really know what's going on. I'm guessing that all the terrified folks are still wailing, gnashing and protesting over the election and all the Trumpites are pointing and laughing at the protesters.

Maybe I'll flip on the BBC to see what's going on in the rest of the world.

⧫

You can visit these if you like:

• Oh Canada.



• Facts is facts. This just proves it. What more evidence does you be needin?



• Although it doesn't say it, I'm betting that alcohol was involved.



• The nozzle-heads  was pretty chill about the whole thing. They all gathered at the local 7-11 for endless Doritos and Twinkies.



• I would think maybe going to visit a friend for a few hours would be a better idea.



• Mystery Dildo Bandit would be a fantastic name for a 1960s movie starring Jane Fonda and Roddy McDowall.



• Only in Pennsylvania.



• Here's your Naked Guy In The News story.



• Only in Florida.

I wish I had something for you

Since I stopped paying attention to the All-Donald-Trump and the Whiners-About-Donald-Trump news, I don't have a lot of news for you. What I do have is an observation about the local news stations:

What happened to the sports guy?

Is it just my imagination or is there no longer anyone covering sports anymore? It seems like all the local news covers is news and then weather. There is no longer a segment devoted to sports.

Why?

⧫

So the Patriots managed to kick the crap out of the Steelers last night and my cousins are not happy.

This is what Paddy had to say during the game last night (Her texts are in grey, mine are in blue):

It's on to the SuperB owl for the Patriots and I really hope they win. That would break not only the NFL records for SuperB owl appearances, it would probably piss off Roger Goodell, Jim Irsay, Jerry Jones and Ron Wolf.

I'd like to see all those guys pissed off. I'm also betting the Robert Kraft, who might have been more than a little intoxicated after last nights AFC win. would like to see those guys pissed off.

⧫

You should visit these links:

• It's the old, "The wind was pushing me!" defense.



• Is that a guitar in your pants or are you just glad to see me?



• Here's your Naked Guy(s) In The News story.

I've turned off the news

Normally, I watch the news from 6:00 until 9:00 every morning. I start with the local network news which turns into national news and then back to local news.

Ever since the election, the news has turned into a series of stories about people being offended or frightened. My favorite clip is the guy protesting with a sign that said, "I'm too upset to write something here." or the guy who said, "I have a young daughter and I don't know what to say to her about Trump."

Let me be the first to point out that if you don't know what to say to your children about the recent election, you probably shouldn't be allowed to have children. It's called parenting and if you don't know how to do it, stop making babies.

Also, if you go to a protest with a sign that doesn't say anything, you aren't really protesting, you're just hanging around with a bunch of people. We used to call that loitering. It meant you had nothing to do and were a bum.

So anyways, I decided that I can't stand watching all of these easily offended morons walking around telling anyone with a camera about whatever it is that is upsetting their delicate mental state. I turned off the news and I probably won't be turning it back on for a while.

⧫

The Falcons will be going to the SuperB owl because I'm not entirely sure the Packers realized they had a game today. The Falcons handed the Packers their collective ass 44-21.

The Patriots are listed -6 on the Steelers and they will cover the spread. There was also something about "under". I have no idea what any of that means because I don't really know how to gamble. I found it on a Vegas website called OddsShark.

Hopefully it means the Patriots are favored to win the AFC championship and move on to the SuperB owl.

⧫

While I watch football and trade text messages with my cousin out in Pittsburgh, you can visit these links:

• Key phrase in this story: "Video footage recorded by a neighbor show police asking Adunbi to identify himself, which he refuses to do."



• Something tells me Derrick is single.



• Here's your Naked Woman In The News story.

And so it begins

It's once again that time of the year when I order my copy of TurboTax software and we start collecting all of the documents needed to file our tax return.

I hate this time of the year...

⧫

Here are today's links:

• If Florida is the weirdest state in the union, Key West is the heart of that weirdness.



• My first question is, "Why do you need a house key shaped like a gun?" but my second question is, "Why is a gun-shaped house key prohibited on board a cruise ship?"

Dreary day

It looked like maybe we might see a little sun this morning but that passed quickly and it turned out to be another typical New England January day. The cloud base was at 2,500 feet making today yet another day of no flying for me.

When I first started my flight training, it was March and if I remember correctly, there were a lot of days where there was plenty of sun. I also remember there was a lot of wind but that was when I was doing my pattern work and learning how to land with a cross wind.

As my instructor told me, "If you're gonna learn how to fly, New England is the place to do it. You'll learn how to fly in all kinds of wind and weather. Those folks out in Arizona, they fly in calm winds on sunny days. Where's the fun in that!"

I'm hoping the February and March are better than January and I get some flight time in. So far this month I've only managed to fly for one hour with only one landing. My plan for the next time I go up is to do some pattern work and maintain my landing skills as best I can. I also want to take a trip to Westfield to practice landing in a tower controlled environment.

Landing at a towered airport is different than landing at a non-towered airport so the more I do it, the easier it is to do. It's not that it's harder to land, it's just a little confusing talking to the ATC and then following what they ask you to do.

⧫

So we have a new president and I just want to remind all of you of one of my famous sayings:

Meet the new boss, same as the old boss.

I know a lot of my LEO friends and relatives are going to be very happy to see someone in office that at least recognizes their efforts and sacrifices. Lets face it, cops have been accused of being everything but good over the last eight years and none of them has felt like there was any support.

While I'm sure that the new administration will be more supportive of law enforcement, it's not the federal government that needs to support them, it's state and local government that needs to support them.

As for the rest of us, I'm betting that this guy can't possibly screw things up any worse than the previous guy. It's been a weird eight years and I'm thinking any change is going to be a good thing.

Then again, this might all go to shit and we end up in a world of hurt.

Either way, we'll always have beer....

⧫

While I turn off the All-Donald-Trump-Channel and find a nice DVR show to watch, you can click on these links;

• Key phrase in this story: "Police recovered a pink stun gun..."



• Key phrase in this story: "...it's a distinct Skittles smell."



• Something tells me House Rep Daniel Zolnikov may have gone to Faber College and been a member of the Delta Tau Chi frat.



• Everybody loves bacon!



• Only in Florida.



• Here's your Naked Guy In The News story.

Another mistake of Presidential proportions.

President Obama has tossed out the prison sentences for some pretty nasty people. As a matter of fact, one of the people he set free is a serial bomber who murdered 5 people back in the 1970s.

I'm a fan of second chances. As someone once said, "Let he among you who is without sin cast the first stone" All of us have skeletons in our closets and not a single one of us can say with a straight face that they have never done anything wrong.

If you are in prison for stealing or fraud and you've been a model prisoner who has admitted his/her mistake, shown remorse and made an effort to repay the victim, then yea, you deserve a second chance.

If you plant bombs and kill innocent people because you don't like it the government and then you continue to make seditious statements that show absolutely no remorse, you don't deserve a second chance. As a matter of fact, you deserve to be executed.

Between his commutations and his famous "If you like your doctor, you can keep your doctor" health care program, I have a feeling that Barack Obama as President is going to be remembered poorly....

⧫

I have some links for you:

• I'm really hoping he's going to be okay. I always liked him.



• I'm not allergic or frightened by wasps but this is a big ol' bag of nope for me.



• Only in Florida.



• Also only in Florida.



• Australia: Even the horses are deadly.



• Some women are a little clingy.

He's a lazy dog.

The only thing that wakes him up is the sound of someone at the door or me opening the plastic bag of cheese.

⧫

Speaking of dogs....

This is a screen shot of a text message between my daughter and me this afternoon:

Ah, the joys of dog ownership.

⧫

The SuperB owl is in 18 days and Pitchers & Catchers report to spring training in 26 days.

Whilst I wallow in anticipation, you should visit these links:

• Key phrase in this story: "I couldn’t control myself, unfortunately."



• This is your brain. This is your brain on drugs. Any questions?



• Sometimes drunks can be assholes. Sometimes drunks can be funny as hell. Not matter how they behave, they're still drunks.



• Just one more thing the french don't have to worry about.



• According to Canada, Melville was a dirty perv.



• Blowtorch a Squirrel would be a fantastic name for 1980s techno band.

Iowa is covered in ice

My daughter had yesterday off from school so she did not have to drive on the ice covered roads. For that I am grateful because I'm her dad and it's my job to worry about her

I guess they got quite the coating ice where she is and when she took her little angel out for her morning constitutional, they both fell on their ass.

She says that this morning the roads were okay but the parking lots and sidewalks kinda sucked.

⧫

From what I can tell, I won't be flying for a few weeks. The weather forecast is filled with words like "freezing rain" and "wintery mix" and "snow".

None of those things are conducive to flight. Particularly the freezing rain thing. Ice on the wings makes for terrible aerodynamics.

⧫

Here are a few links:

• Is that a python in your pants or are you just glad to see me...



• 🎜My Maserati does 185.🎝
  🎜I lost my license now I don't drive.🎝



• Nice guy.



• I like Maryland's law.



• Australia: What doesn't kill you, dissolves you!



• Father and Husband of the Year.

Pics from Pat

As I mentioned, Pat took some pictures while we were soaring around the skies of the Pioneer Valley on Saturday. He sent them to me and I now present them to you.

The Upper Quabbin with Mt. Monadnock in the distance.

Looking north up the Connecticut River into Vermont and New Hampshire.

Looking south over Gill and Montague.

Over Amherst, heading back to the airport.

My 307th successful landing.
And that includes that "successful" one where I blew a tire landing at Barnes.

⧫

You should visit these links:

• If I find out Della Street was a hooker and Paul Drake was her pimp, I'm gonna be pissed.



• Here's your Naked Guy In The News story.



• Here's your Naked Woman In The News story.



• Damn. I always liked him.

I tried but failed

As much as I wanted to watch the entire game last night, it wasn't going to happen. I made it to halftime and fell asleep with the score 13-17 in favor of the Patriots.

I fell asleep knowing that the Patriots usually have a more successful second half and since they were leading at the half, they would stomp the third and fourth quarters.

I was right.

And now, once again, the Patriots are playing in the AFC championship with an eye towards playing in yet another SuperB owl.

I predict that the Steelers will win tonight because if I don't predict that, my aunt Ann, my cousin Barbara and my cousin Paddy will never forgive me. Besides, I'm not entirely sure the Chiefs got it in them to take the Steelers.

As for the Packers and the Cowboys, I'm hoping the Packers will be playing the Falcons for the NFC championship because I don't like Jerry Jones. He's a pompous ass who calls his team "Americas Team".

That's bullshit.

If there is any team that should hold the title Americas Team it would be the New York Giants, the Pittsburgh Steelers or the Green Bay Packers. I'm betting those three teams have more fans outside of their arena than any other team in the NFL

⧫

I'm going to watch as much football as I can before falling asleep in my recliner.

While I do that, you can visit these links:

• Here's your Naked Guy In The News story.



• Yes, alcohol was involved. Also, Australia.



• This my new favorite web-based company.

Finally got some flying in

I managed to reserve a plane for 11:00 this morning and amazingly enough, the weather held up for me. Pat joined me for today's little excursion and managed to get some pictures. I'm not sure how they came out but if he sends them to me, I'll post them.

I can't find a record of our actual flight track from the FAA. Sometimes they take a few days to put it out. Sometimes they never put it out at all.

Since there is no official record, here's an artists rendering of our little jaunt created using Google maps and their distance measuring tool:

As you can see, we headed out over the Quabbin, up to Orange, over to Brattleboro and then back to Northampton.

All-in-all, we spent just over an hour in the air and it was a nice smooth flight. Pat seemed to enjoy it and I managed to stick the landing without any unnecessary bumps.

⧫

I think there is some kind of sports contest on this evening. I'm pretty sure it involves a ball and some feet. I'm probably going to watch that.

While I do that, you can visit these links:

• Only in New York City. And maybe Chicago.



• This is why I do electronic payments.



• Here's your Naked Woman In The News story.



• Only in Florida.



• This is gonna get messy.



• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminal of the Day.



• Key phrase in this story: "He stole more money than anyone in history, and to other thieves, this makes him a hero."

Maybe tomorrow...

Here's the forecast for Barnes Airport in Westfield:
KBAF 131733Z 1318/1418 31016G30KT P6SM SKC
  FM140000 33012KT P6SM FEW150
  FM140600 33007KT P6SM SCT250
  FM141100 00000KT P6SM SCT140

As you can see, today the skies are clear but it's a bit windy. By tomorrow morning, the winds become calm with scattered clouds.

I can fly in that.

I'll check it again tomorrow morning and if things are still predicted to be clear and calm, I'll make a call and see if there is a plane available.

Oh, and if any of you can read that weather report, let me know.

⧫

If you click on these links, they might take you to interesting places:

• The man has just got to have his viagra.



• You just know this was a screw up on the crooks part.



• Gang of Fat Squirrels would be a great name for 1990s grunge band.



• Proof that our species ain't the brightest bulb on the candelabra.



• The Rogue Quokka of Rottnest Island would be a good name for a Dr. Seuss book.

Call me Mr FixIt.

Today was spent fixing things at my mother-in-laws house. I replaced her printer toner cartridge, reset her television and replaced to under-counter light fixtures.

The toner was no big deal to do. The Brother printers have a simple and straight-forward system. I took the old cartridge out and said to my mother-in-law, "Hold this old one by these two tabs while I get the plastic bag to put it in. Don't tip it or touch it anyplace other than the two tabs." She immediately grabbed it by the bottom and got toner all over her hands.

Then I went and "fixed" her TV. This usually involves my pressing the "CABLE" button on her remote so it once again works both the cable box and the television. I then explain to her, for the two thousandth time, that she needs to stop pressing buttons other than POWER, CHANNELUP and CHANNELDOWN. She already has the volume at ear-shatter level so there is no need for her to press that button.

I then replaced two under-cabinet florescent lights she has in her kitchen. This is also not a big deal, it just takes time. Unfortunately, my mother-in-law insists on talking to me while I work. She tells me about her friends and repeatedly asks me what she can do to help. I restrain myself from saying, "Here, hold the white wire in your right hand and the black wire in your left hand."

After about 20 minutes of trying to "help" me, she finally decided that she should go print off all her emails now that she had new toner for her printer. That got her out of the kitchen and I could finish my work without the flow of unwanted conversation wafting around me.

I work best when I don't have to answer inane questions. I also work best when I can freely dispense profanities like water over Niagara Falls.

⧫

You might enjoy these:

• Here's your Naked Guy In The News story.



• Key phrase in this lawsuit: "...complete and utter indifference to the probability that a golfer would be in the path of a porta-potty."



• Only in Florida.



• Don't mess with a cook with a ladle.



• Never trust your inner thug....



• Chuck Finley was a pretty good pitcher.

Too damned windy

I let The Dog out at 4:00 this morning and the wind was blowing like a hurricane. I went back to bed for two more hours and by 6:00, things had calmed down a bit.

As a matter of fact, it was calmed down enough that I actually thought I might get some flying in today. I mean, what the hell, my grill cover was still in place and the tree that started leaning a few weeks ago was still standing so maybe the winds weren't that bad.

Then I checked the winds aloft report....

When I check the winds aloft at 6:30 this morning, Bradley reported winds at 56 knots at 3,000 feet. When I checked this afternoon at 2:00, they were down to a nice calm 26 knots.

For those of you that don't know how to use google to convert knots to miles per hour, let me point out that 26 knots is around 30 mph.

I like to fly, not get my ass kicked all over the sky.

⧫

I've decided to help the city of Springfield renew itself and once again be the shining star it once was. I created a couple of bumper stickers to help start things off.

#1:

#2:

I'm always willing to help out where I can...

⧫

You can check these links out:

• Seems a bit harsh to me. Then again, it's Michigan, the home of Detroit....



• Proof that the fashion industry is made up entirely of crazy people.



• Key phrase in this story: "I think it was someone trying to be adventurous."
  I pretty sure you can replace the word "adventurous" with the word "stupid"



• This is why I never became a cop. I would have shot him.



• Isn't this illegal in most states?

I should have gone flying today.

It's been almost three weeks since the last time I went flying. The holidays took up most of that time and the one day I had planned on going up, last Saturday, turned into a snow day.

The rest of this week looks like a rain/snow kind of week and next week isn't looking much better. I might get a small window of opportunity on Saturday where I can do some pattern work just to keep my newly acquired skills up to speed.

I'll have to wait and see how things shape up.

⧫

Here are a few links:

• Australia: What doesn't kill ya, kills ya.



• Australia: What doesn't kill ya, kills something else.



• Flaming Load of Muffins would be a good name for a 1960s British rock band.



• I wonder if Christopher Walken had anything to do with her denial.



• Yes, alcohol was involved.



• Hey, I like a grilled cheese sandwich as much as the next guy but this seems a little extreme.



• Key phrase in this story: "As badger scat is the most disgusting thing I've encountered, I assume they fart too."

Just a bit chilly.

I won't move to Florida because I hate heat & humidity and the cold doesn't really bother me that much.

I will, however, admit that there was a brief twinge of yearning for a little heat & humidity this morning when I let The Dog out and discovered that it was 0^° with a light breeze.

The talking heads on the news kept telling me that it was "brisk" and "bitter". I can think of a few different ways of describing how cold it was and one of those descriptions involves the mammary glands of an individual who practices the dark arts.

It's so cold that those goddamned energy-efficient, anti-global-warming CFL lights bulbs we are all required to buy don't actually light up. They just give off a kinda dull pink glow. Must be that the brain-destroying mercury in them is frozen solid.

I miss incandescent light bulbs.

⧫

You what pisses me off more than stepping on a Lego while barefoot? It's celebrities whining because their candidate did not get elected.

Listen up people, there are cops being executed by evil beings on a daily basis, there is a plague killing thousands of us, there is a slaughter of unparalleled proportions going on in a major US city, the so-called "Arab Spring" is essentially a genocide that has been encouraged by our current president and all that Meryl Streep wants to talk about is her belief that Donald Trump made fun of someone four months ago.

Shut up.

You are standing on a podium because your peers decided it was time to give you an award. That does not mean any of us think your opinion matters. The only people that think your opinion matters are the people that gave you the award. The rest of us think you were sorta okay in the movie Death Becomes Her but the rest of your stuff, and your opinion, sucks.

Stop talking, go home and find a clear spot on your shelf for your new participation trophy. If you want to use your celebrity status for good, then get people talking about the things I mentioned and maybe, just maybe, you'll accomplish something other than inflaming the frothing liberal masses.

⧫

Here are some links for you to peruse:

• The more Dave Dombrowsky talks, the more I like what he has to say.



• Key sub-headline in this story: "She was certainly dedicated"



• Jemima Packington the Asparamancer would be a great name for a really bad 1980s action adventure movie starring Dolf Lundgren.



• You should probably just use your defroster like the rest of us.,..

My wife is safely back home.

She took off from Des Moines around noon and, after a layover in Chicago, landed in Windsor Locks around 6:15.

My daughter was sad to see her leave Iowa but The Dog and I are both happy to have her home here in Massachusetts.

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The Steelers beat the Dolphins this afternoon so that means the Texans will be in Foxboro to play the Patriots next Saturday evening.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that since the Patriots have beat the Texans pretty badly every time they've played them, they'll probably do it again and move on to the AFC conference playoff.

I admit it's just a guess but it's a pretty good guess.

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You can click on these:

• I'd love to know what the argument was about.



• Key phrase in this story: "...the couple had gone to a friend’s house for drinks..."



• I know Obama is upset that the Russians released Rodham's emails but this seems a bit drastic to me.



• Give me a break.



• Only in Pennsylvania.



• This is why I use a runway.

The ladies are safe and sound

My daughter and her little dog are safely back in her apartment in Iowa with their special guest, mom.

Mom will be with them for another day or so and then she'll catch a plane back here.

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I spent last night at a retirement party for my buddy John. He is now officially a retired cop looking to find something else to do before he gets around to actually retiring.

Since he's a hard working guy, I'm pretty sure he'll find something else soon. In the meantime, he gets to relax and no longer deal the assholes of the world.

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Two guys that I haven't seen in 30 years were at the event last night. I worked with Buck and Moose back in the 80s and they both went on to careers in law enforcement - Buck as a chief out in the sticks of central Mass and Moose as a crime scene photographer in Springfield.

We haven't aged well.

We're all fat, one of us is bald, none of us drank any booze and we were all out the door headed for home by 9:00pm.

We all agreed that if this was 30 years ago, we would have been ten beers into the show by the time 9:00 rolled around and just getting started with our night. The bartenders would be asking to please leave around 2:15 and we'd all head for Denny's to consume a ton of food. Then we'd all get up the next day and go to work like nothing was wrong.

Trust me, partying like a maniac is a lot more fun when you're in your late 20s but we had a good time and none of us will spend today and tomorrow regretting a massive hangover.

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You can visit these links if you are so inclined:

• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminal of the Month.



• Only in Florida.



• Here's an equally Brilliant Criminal who also happens to be in Florida.



• This is why I don't go to Starbucks.

Sorry about that

I managed to fall asleep without clicking the "publish" button last night. It's not like I had a lot to say
so you really didn't miss much.

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My wife, my daughter and the small emergency backup dog are making their way to Iowa so I just have The Dog to entertain me.

And just so you know, his version of entertainment is to lay upside down on the couch and snore.

Add in the occasional fart and you've got yourself some high-class entertainment right there...

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Here are a few links for you to enjoy:

• Here's your Naked Guy In The News story.



• Only in Florida.



• I bet at least one of you tries this.

The RMV no longer sucks

I didn't think it was possible but my wife received an email from the RMV that the title to my daughters car is being sent our address within the next few days.

I'm still not gonna hold my breath because it is the state of Massachusetts after all and if there is one thing I know, this state government can screw things up better than any other state government.

Another reason I won't hold my breath is because not only did they send an email, they also called the house at 2:15, as promised.

Yes sir, the phone rang at 2:15 and the caller ID said MassDOT. I answered it and was greeted by a computer voice saying that if I still wanted to talk to someone I should press 3. Since I'm a nice guy, I decided to press 3 and tell the person I spoke to that we were all set and thanks for calling us back.

I pressed 3 and I was immediately....

....put on hold.

I listened to the very bad on hold music for about 10 minutes and then I hung up.

Massachusetts state government motto: We're number one in screwing stuff up.

And for the record, we discovered how the RMV ended up with Colchester, VT as my daughters mailing address.

When my daughter turned 21, she stopped in Greenfield on her way home and renewed her drivers license. They took her picture and said, "We'll send this to Wilbraham when it's ready!" and she said, "Can you send it to me at college?" They said "Sure!" and that's how her college address became her official mailing address.

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I spent most of the day searching for the perfect job. Unfortunately, I've come to the conclusion there is no such thing.

I'll keep moving forward and looking. If I don't find the perfect job, I'm going to at least find a great job. If I don't find a great job, I'll find a good job. If I don't find a good job, I'll re-evaluate my choices and start over.

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Here are today's links:

• I am, as always, the proud uncle.



• Only in Florida.



• I don't even know why I'm including this link. It's gross, don't click on it.



• Here's your Naked Guy In The News story.

The RMV kinda sucks

Seems that the Massachusetts RMV has been sending excise tax bills, along with the title to her car, to my daughter up in Vermont. Problem is, my daughter hasn't lived in Vermont since she graduated from college in 2014. Also, she never had any dealings with the Massachusetts registry while she was in school up there so we have no idea how they ended up with that address.

My wife spent hours, and I do mean hours, on hold with the registry trying her damndest to straighten this out and get the title to my daughters car sent here to us.

After all that time on hold, she was informed that someone would contact her tomorrow at 2:15.

Trust me, she was pissed and it probably didn't help when I said, "Yea, right. I'll believe that when it happens."

Hopefully they actually call tomorrow and we can get the title sent to us.

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Here are todays links:

• Meet Bodie Shoff, the newest member of the A-Team.



• Apparently you aren't allowed to sell empty plastic bags on Craigslist.



• It's the old, "That is not what I ordered!" defense.



• Catholicism - A different kind of religion.



• It's the old, "Verizon made me do it!" defense.

We have lights!

My son bought us a Wink Hub for Christmas and I have successfully installed & configured it. If you don't know what a Wink Hub is, it is one of those home automation devices that rides on your wifi network. You can add numerous kinds of devices like light switches, light bulbs, thermostats, appliances, etc... to it and control them using your a cell phone app.

I can now turn my lights on from anywhere in the world.

The only problem is my daughter can also turn my lights on from anywhere in the world and she lives in Iowa. I imagine that at some point, when she is bored, she will decide to turn a light on and off at random.

That is when I will send her a text threatening to remove her access.

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Here are a few links for you:

• I wonder if they would have fired her if she had shot the robbers.



• Wait. Isn't this against the law? It's really stupid but it's also gotta be illegal.



• It's 2017 - Where the hell is my flying car!



• Key phrase in this story: "Once they were stabbed they decided to leave and go to the hospital."



• Here's your Naked Guy In The News story.



• I love my dog but I can tell you right now, there is no freakin' way I'm spending that much money on him.

Welcome to 2017

If 2016 is any benchmark for what's to come, I suggest you hang on folks because it's gonna be a bumpy ride. Remember, please keep your arms and legs in the vehicle at all times.

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On December 31, 2015, I made a series of predictions about 2016. Let's review them, shall we:

No, this will not be the year that I retire. Despite my desire to do so, my wife has made it clear that I am not allowed to sit around all day doing nothing.

Well, that didn't pan out quite like I wanted it to. I lost my job but I refuse to retire. I'm unemployed and looking because I need to feel like I'm doing something productive. Hopefully I'll find something in 2017.

No, I will not hit the lottery this year. Despite the fact that I purchase a multi-game Megabucks ticket every month, I have no luck whatsoever and I am confident that I will not win. Should that change, you will not know because I'll never admit to it.

No, I did not hit the lottery.

Yes, my youngest son will graduate from college and this will fulfill his commitment to obtain a degree. Once he completes his schooling, he and his band will go on a whirlwind national tour in the hopes of making his college degree completely unnecessary. I hope they are successful beyond everyone's wildest dreams. Either way, I will, as always, be the proud dad.

So far, so good. He is gainfully employed and the band is still playing gigs.

Yes, my daughter will be accepted into a school of veterinary medicine. This goes a long way in explaining entry number one on this list. I will, as always, be the proud dad.

Damned right she did. She's 1,200 miles away but they got these things called airplanes so we get to see her every once in a while

Yes, my eldest and his wife will find a nice house to buy and turn into a home. When that happens, I will, as always, be the proud dad.

Yes they did. A nice place in Framingham with a pool and plenty of room for their dog Jack to chase rabbits and poop.

Although I would like to lose some of the weight I've put on since I quit smoking, I won't make any resolutions to do so. That is because I do not make resolutions.

Wouldn't you know it, I've lost 22 pounds (according to my doctor) since December of 2015. Not bad for an old guy who is not on a diet.

I got one wrong and I missed a big one - my pilots license. Maybe I'm psychic. Maybe I should call Dionne Warwick and get a job on the Psychic Friends Network! (By the way, if you know what I'm referring to, you're old.)

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Now that we all know how psychic I am, let's take a look at some predictions for this coming year:

My youngest will continue playing with the band and working at the college up in Keene but he will decide to start pursuing a masters degree, just in case the whole band thing doesn't produce the income he would like.

My daughter will still be pursuing her Doctor of Veterinary Medicine out in Iowa. I'm going to hedge on this one just in case Tufts decides they think they would like her to transfer back here to Massachusetts. She might just say yes to that but we won't know until it happens.

My eldest and his wife will continue to build their life together out in Framingham. He will continue to use the brains he was born with and ask his life-scarred dad for advice before doing something insane like buying a chainsaw to cut down trees or installing new light switches.

If she can finagle it so that she can keep teaching her students, my wife will be named Assistant Dean and she will continue having a great group of people working for her that she loves.

As for me, I will be working. Somewhere. Anywhere. I'm trying my best to avoid going back to the stress-filled cubicle world that I spent thirty years living in. I have no idea where I will end up but you can bet it will be doing something useful in our society.

No matter what happens, I hope we all have a great 2017.

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I need to review the weather for the upcoming week because I want to fly.

If I can find a day with no wind, rain or snow, I'll schedule a plane and do some sight-seeing. Maybe head up to Keene and take my youngest up for a buzz around Monadnock and down the Quabbin.

While I spend some time reviewing the Metars and TAFs, you can visit these:

• Sounds to me like maybe someone has a few anger issues.



• Only in Florida.



• Scotland knows how to ring in the New Year.