Time for a small brain dump.

For those of you that find it hard to grasp the difference between one million (1,000,000) and one billion (1,000,000,000), let me help:

       1,000,000 seconds = 11 ½ days
1,000,000,000 seconds = 31 ½ years

Hope that helps.

⧫

Don't feel bad if you spend the next two months writing 2018 on your checks. We all do it. As a matter of fact, some of us are still writing 2015.

⧫

Elizabeth Warren has announced that she will be running for President in 2020. Anyone shocked by this news has not been following world events for the last several months.

This news has two positives:

1. I'm betting that any debates between her and President Trump will be entertaining. I'm betting he will call her Pocahontas and she will call him Cheeto.
2. Maybe she'll be too busy campaigning to continue "slamming" the federal government for not giving my tax dollars to freeloaders.

Hey, I can dream, can't I?

⧫

144 police officers were killed in the line of duty during 2018. I personally blame Obama and Warren.

I blame Obama because he spent most of his presidency calling the police "stupid" and blaming them for the confrontation between a black thug and a cop in Ferguson, MO that ended up with the thug dead.

I blame Warren because she stands on stage and calls every judge, every juror, every prosecutor and every cop a racist.

For the record, my little brother is a cop. Not only is he a good cop, he's a good man and he doesn't deserve to be treated like shit by our elected officials.

⧫

The Red Sox are keeping a low profile this off-season and I think that's a good thing. They resigned Steve Pierce (first base) and Nathan Evoldi (starting pitcher) but they've lost Kimbrel (closer) and Kelly (relief pitcher).

I'm not entirely sure Kimbrel is gone because he is still on the market and there doesn't seem to be a lot of activity from teams looking to sign him. The Red Sox may still make him an offer.

⧫

You can click on these links or you can go celebrate New Years Eve:

• Attention religious fanatics everywhere: Please stop fulfilling prophecies.



• Key phrase in this story: "I went to my table and recognized the giant tattoo above his eyebrow."



• Maybe this explains why I always hated Bambi.

She is in pain but fully functional

The Small Emergency Backup Dog seems to be consuming and pooping but she is in a lot of pain. It hurts her to walk and God forbid you should touch her back legs.

My prediction is she is on the mend but it's going to take longer than a day or two before she is back to her normal happy self.

As for The Large Main Dog, he is very concerned about her.

For instance, whenever my daughter tries to give her some food, The LMD sticks his face in the bowl and makes sure the food is okay by eating it. Whenever The SMEBD tries to enter the house after being outside, The LMD immediately forces his way past her and goes through the door first to make sure there are no assassins or vacuum cleaners on the other side.

He's good that way.

🎉

The Patriots managed to soundly defeat the Jets today and secure a first round bye in the upcoming playoffs. This is good because they can use all the rest they can get.

They are old and need their rest.

🎉

Here are a few links:

• I'm pretty sure ballet is getting weirder?



• For the record, 850 kilograms = 1,800 pounds. Or as I like to call it, a shitload.



• Key line in this story: "For several hours each night, the building that doesn't have electricity inside becomes the backdrop of a massive light show in which more than 100,000 LEDs flash images of famous statues and monuments, bursts of fireworks, party symbols and political slogans."



• I like snakes. They don't scare me and they eat rodents. This, however, is a good reason to toss a gallon of gas on the cabin and burn it to the ground.

Painful digestion is in her future

The Small Emergency Backup Dog appears to have passed whatever it was she decided to eat the other day but now she is in a lot of pain. To the point where she is having trouble walking. The doc says it's probably because of severe abdomen pain.

This means that now she is in recovery mode and hopefully she gets back to normal in a few days. Until then, my wife, the quintessential mom, made her some home made chicken soup.

That little dog is eating better than most humans....

As for the "appears to have passed" line above, we don't know what it was, only that it is now gone. Todays x-rays showed nothing so at some point in the last 24 hours, she either pooped it out or she digested it.

🎉

As for me, I spent my day doing very little. I cleaned out the dogs latrine, also known as my backyard, and then I tidied up my workbench a bit.

I'm typing this while my pizza's cook. As soon as they are done, I'm gonna eat and settle in to watch bad television. Maybe some Mythbuster reruns or something like that.

🎉

Here are some links:

• I am going to build one or two of these. It looks cool and it requires using a soldering iron.



• You have no idea how happy it made me to see they added the Benny Hill chase music to this video.



• Key lie in this story: "...committed to turning her life around."

The Small Emergency Backup Dog...

...has a small emergency backup.

For the last few days, the pup has been whiney and sensitive to touch. She has refused to eat and she was laying around a lot. Her boss, the soon-to-be-vet, took her into the clinic an d they did an x-ray.

Turns out she ate something that wasn't food and now she is dealing with a minor backup.

They are trying to force the issue by feeding her whatever she wants to eat as long as it's high in fiber. The hope is the backup will dislodge and things will once again flow normally.

The alternative is surgery and, to be honest with you, we are trying hard to avoid that.

Hopefully the baby food, pasta, blueberry's and dog food will break the logjam and move whatever it is she decided to eat. My daughter is leaning towards a rock, my wife is thinking Christmas decoration and I'm thinking big wad of wrapping paper.

🎉

You can click on these if you want:

• He almost got away with it...



• Don't work harder, work smarter.



• The Year In Review.



• Dogs: You gotta love 'em.



• Here's your Naked Guy In The News story.

I am certified

Today I spent numerous hours in a room and in a plane with my instructor and together we completed not only my biennial flight review, we also got me current on night landings.

I spent a some time going over some basic legal FAA requirements and then I spent several hours flying around with him, doing a lot of things that no one normally does. Things like soft-field landings, soft-field takeoffs, stalls and basic navigation.

It was both fun and tiring.

Now I'm going to watch bad television and fall asleep early.

🎉

The Small Emergency Backup Dog is sick and my daughter is concerned. She scheduled an appointment tomorrow to get her checked out.

Hopefully it's just a stomach ailment and all she needs is a few days of quiet.

🎉

Here are some links:

• Nothin' lower than a fake glitter bomber.



• Oh Canada.



• Venezuela is on the brink of a civil war.



• Yesterday we had the guy who broke in and cleaned. Today we have the couple who broke in and cleaned.



• Good job there Connecticut.

Man, I'm tired.

I need to get more sleep....

⧫

For the last several days, we have had a kitten in our house. My youngest got himself a kitten a few weeks ago and so he brought it with him when he came to stay.

The dogs initially seemed to care less about the kitten. It ran around and they stared at it, maybe tried to sniff it a bit but for the most part, they didn't want a lot to do with it.

Then my son and his girlfriend went to her family to celebrate Christmas. Turns out one of her relatives is pretty allergic to cats so they opted to leave the kitten with us for a day or two.

During that brief time, the Small Emergency Backup Dog started to pay a lot more attention to the kitten. So much so that we're pretty sure she developed a mother complex. She seemed to become protective of the kitten and wanted to be right next to her at all times. She also took to giving the kitten baths by licking her from head to tail.

Well, now the kitten is gone back to her home and the Small Emergency Backup Dog is moping around like she lost a child.

⧫

Tomorrow is my BiAnnual (biennial?) Flight Review so I'm hoping the weather holds. The last thing my CFI needs is to fly around with me in shitty weather. We both prefer nice smooth air and no clouds.

The flight review is the FAAs way of affirming that I am a safe and competent pilot. It's their way of assuring my passengers that I am not a reckless or crazy individual.

So far, aviation weather says we should have a 6 knot wind out of the NNW and scattered clouds at 5,000 feet. That sounds like good flying weather to me.

⧫

Enjoy these links:

• Pittsfield: Either they're very nice people or they're all high as a kite. Not sure which it is...



• Attention morons: No one in their right mind leaves flaming bags of dog crap on people's door step for two reasons: One, no one wants to go pick up random dog shit and Two, YOU'LL BURN THEIR FREAKIN' HOUSE DOWN! You moron...



• Only in Florida.

Merry Christmas Everybody!

I hope you all have an excellent Christmas.

I'll post something this afternoon.

🎅

I'm back!

Our eldest and his wife left our house around 9:30/10:00 last night and made it back to their place in Framingham with no issues.

Our youngest and his girlfriend left our house at 10:00 this morning and made it out to her family Christmas with no issues.

Then we spent an hour or so with my wife's mom.

After that, it was home for naps and movies. We watched The Hitman's Bodyguard (I highly recommend it) while nodding on our respective couches.

Then it was dinner and now I'm watching bad television.

That sounds like a petty damned good Christmas.

🎅

Here are some links for you:

• Only in New Jersey.



• I don't know if I already posted a link to this or not. If I did, too bad. It deserves to be posted at least twice.



• Key phrase in this story: "I’m doing great now."

More celebrations

We spent this afternoon/evening with my wife's family. Also, Santa Claus....

We always spend a few hours with my wife's family on Christmas Eve. One of the nieces hosts the party and we all gather over there. Two of the nieces have little kids so today Santa Claus decided to show up.

Amazingly enough, the kids did not cry at the sight of a fat guy with a face-hiding beard dressed in a bright red suit. I figured for sure there would be screaming.

Afterwards, our little family went back to our house to exchange gifts.

That means tomorrow will be easier and less hectic which is good because our youngest and his girlfriend need to leave early tomorrow and head up to Manchester NH for her family Christmas.

So now we are home and tired. I'll try to post some links tomorrow but no promises.

Playoff bound

The Patriots managed to beat the Bills and the Eagles managed to beat the Texans. This means the Patriots are the #2 seed.

This is important because the #3+ seeds have to play in the wild card round while the #1 and #2 seeds get to take a little rest before the divisional round.

🎄

No celebrations today.

I did run over to see John this afternoon just to check in him. He's been working some pretty shitty hours and is burning himself out. So much so that he's giving some serious consideration to getting out of the victualer business.

I hope things work out for him.

🎄

Here are some links you may find interesting:

• Some people have too much money.



• To some people, it looks like a hippo. To others, it looks like a dog turd.



• I've never been to Bernville PA but I am related to a rather large contingent of Pennsylvania Koziar's.

Two things I forgot about yesterday

First thing I forgot was to wish everyone a happy winter solstice. For my druid friends, do not go sacrificing any virgins. It's not really acceptable...

Second thing: Thirty years ago yesterday, something happened that caused the airlines to start asking us those now-famous questions, "Did you pack your bags? Have your bags been with you the whole time?"

Thirty years ago, Muammar Gaddafi killed 270 people using an unwitting person who checked his bags in for his flight from Frankfurt Germany to New York City. The bags in question contained several ounces of a powerful explosive called Semtex. The individual who owned the bags had no idea that they contained an explosive because Gaddafi's henchmen managed to gain access to them without his/her knowledge.

About 60 minutes after the plane carrying the bags pushed back from the gate, it exploded over Lockerbie Scotland.

The plane was a Pan Am 747, Flight 103, fully loaded with holiday travelers, heading for home or to be with family. When the Semtex exploded, it separated the aircraft into several large parts that plummeted from 31,000 feet into the village of Lockerbie.

All 248 passengers, 16 crew members and 11 resident of Lockerbie died as a result of that explosion.

And that, my friends, is why you are asked if you packed your own bags whenever you check in for a flight.

🎄

We started the family Christmas celebrations today so that is why this is a little late.

While I digest my food, you should visit these links:

• Key phrase in this story: "A man in Turlock stole a car, attempted to flee from officers at a speed of over 110 mph, crashed, and hid in a cattle pen covered in cow excrement before surrendering after getting too cold."



• Well, I guess we know why she's his ex-girlfriend...



• Update on the Gatwick Drone incident: "Those offenses carry a maximum sentence of life imprisonment on conviction, according to the police."



• I wonder if they passed through Mayberry?



• Washington D.C. - The place where all the weirdos go.



• Key phrase in this story: "Police said Sears suffered injuries during the scuffle and was brought to the hospital for further evaluation."

It's vacation time!

I left my office at 3:30 this afternoon and will not return there until January 2nd.

Over the next 11 days, I will eat too much, sleep too much and hopefully get some flying time.

I'm really hoping the weather holds for one or two non-holiday days and I can get into a plane with my CFI because I really need to get my bi-annual flight review done.

The ramifications of not getting it done within the 24 month time period is that I cannot fly until I fly with my CFI and get it done. Not a terrible thing but it's still a thing. Besides, I'm hoping to take my daughter up while she's home and I can't do that unless I'm legal.

🎄

No one else quit on Trump today. At least not that I know of.

But that's not what I came here to tell you.

It looks like the money being raised for Trump's wall might not actually get to where they want it to go. Seems that it might be illegal for the DHS to accept "gifts".

Still, if I were Nancy "We have to vote for it before we can read it!" Pelosi or Chuck "No, I'm not related to Amy..." Schumer, I would pay attention to the fact that in 4 days, 218,000 people voted with their money for border security.

🎄

Well, time for me to start me vacation by falling asleep early while watching bad television.

You can do whatever you want.

If what you want is to click on random links, here you go:

• Speaking of things I didn't need or want to remember.



• People just look for shit to complain about.



• Only in Florida.



• Here's your Naked Guy In The News story.



• Key entry in our favorite police log: "8:11 p.m. A Kalispell man was driving through his neighborhood, honking his horn and firing a high-powered rifle up in the air."

Interesting things are happening

Seems like Trump is having some staffing issues.

Looks like "Mad Dog" isn't quite as mad as Trump thought he was.

🎄

Gatwick Airport is the second busiest airport in England and some asshole with a $200 toy has shut the entire airport down.

Seems to me that all you need to do is put 10 or 12 guys with shotguns loaded with bird shot around the perimeter and you'll solve your drone problem pretty quick.

🎄

You might find some things of interest here:

• Key phrase in this story: "...they believe the suspect has obvious facial injuries from being hit with the gun."



• Ouch.



• We were promised kitchens that do all the cooking and then cleans up after itself. We were promised flying car. Instead we get this....



• Out of Control Bell Ringer would be a great name for a 1970s made for tv horror movie.



• Some people have way too much free time.



• Don't mess with a New York Mom.



• Key phrase in this story: "…if I see something that looks like Bigfoot, I just shoot at it."



• Looks like there are a lot of people that want that wall built.

Oops

I forgot to type something up. I got home later than usual and got involved in some conversations with my wife and daughter. Then we ate dinner and I started watching television.

I looked up to see it was 8:30 and I realized I hadn't posted anything.

Deal with it.

🎄

Here are some links:

• Only in Florida.



• Another reason I think the Tiny House thing is stupid.



• I'm not making fun of blondes but this is funny as hell.



• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminals of the Month.

I ate too much

We had our department luncheon today and we managed to order way too much food. I made a significant dent in it but it just wasn't enough. We filled the refrigerator to overflowing and it looks like we'll be having a second department lunch tomorrow.

I am not going to complain.

🎄

I've decided I want to fall asleep early tonight.

While I do that, you can click on these:

• Oh Canada.



• Yes, the Japanese are crazy.



• Yea, because they don't drink enough already...



• First there was Sharknado. Now there's Sharkcano.



• Only in Florida.

Party time!

This is the week of parties and I'm enjoying it a lot.

Today was the college party where we all celebrate our holidays as well as those folks with milestones and those folks who accomplished some impressive things. Once those things are over with, they hold a huge raffle with numerous prizes.

Today was my lucky day because I won a prize that I really like: Four tickets to a Red Sox game!

I'm a happy guy.

🎄

I'm going to savor my tickets.

While I do that, here are some links that you might enjoy:

• Here is the headline of the year.



• You just gotta love dogs.



• Only in Florida.

Busy day

This posting is a little late because my daughter and the Small Emergency Backup Dog landed at Bradley at 6:00 this evening.

They have arrived home for a nice little vacation from their life in Iowa and her schooling.

She is happy to be here, her mom & I are happy to have her home and the Large Main Dog is happy to see his little friend again.

🎄

I spent two hours at the Northampton Airport meeting the guys from Bradley TRACON. Those are the Air Traffic Control guys that we talk to on the radio but never see so it was nice to finally meet them.

They talked to us about whatever we wanted to talk about and I learned a lot from them about what they see on their radar.

It was a worthwhile meeting.

🎄

Five more days of work before we are off for eight days for the holidays.

And for the record, those five work days will consist of three celebratory holiday lunches & parties along with one working event to recognize everyone with anniversaries and milestones.

In other words, during those five days, we will probably work about fifteen hours.

Have I mentioned I really like working at the college?

🎄

Here are some links you can click on:

• While it doesn't specifically say it, I'm betting alcohol was involved.



• And this is why you never buy TurboTax until January.



• Whelp, so much for those flying cars they promised us...



• Those most have been some pretty damned spicy wings.

Some things got done today

None of those things involved Christmas shopping.

Just wanted to let you know that...

🎄

The Patriots are in Pittsburgh to take on the Steelers tomorrow. Fortunately, the game starts at 4:30 so I will be able to watch all of it.

This is where the NFL exceeds MLB - game start times.

I have always believed that sporting events should never end after midnight in the time zone in which the game is being played.

During 2018, there were numerous baseball games that ended past midnight. Particularly when ESPN carried the game and insisted that it start at 8:15 and have way too many commercial breaks.

Those games went on until 12:30 / 1:00 am.

That, my friends, is bullshit.

The NFL has some games that start at 8:00 but since football is a timed game, you can make a reasonable guess that each quarter will last somewhere around 30 minutes and the half time will last 20 minutes.

That's only about two and a half hours in length.

I can stay up until 10:30 to watch football but I find it almost impossible to stay awake until 1:00am to watch baseball.

🎄

Here are some links for you:

• You need a license to drive a car, a license to own a dog, hell, you even need a license to catch a fish but they'll let any asshole be a parent.



• Here's your Naked Guy In The News story.



• Hey, whatever it takes to get the potholes fixed.



• Attention Naked Guy In The News wanna-be's: Here's your chance.

Minimal post

Spent some time with some old cow-orkers this evening so I don' have much to say.

Well, actually I do have one thing to say: It's nice that people I haven't worked with for over two years make it a point to call and say, "Hey! We're going out, you should join us!"

🎄

While I figure out how to stay awake for at least another hour, you can enjoy these links:

• Key phrase in this story: "Simply put, a law enforcement officer is a ‘person’ whether on duty or off..."



• Seriously, it's time to delete your Facebook account.



• The syrup and jelly pervert is back in the news.

So long Joe, We hardly knew ye...

Joe Kelly is now a Dodger.

Not sure how I feel about that because I was thinking he might have made a good closer.

I think he went to the Dodgers because, well, it's southern California. They may have earthquakes, fires and mud slides but they don't have snow.

Maybe Joe was sick of snow.

🎄

I've fed The Dog and I've fed myself. Now I'm going to sprawl on my couch and The Dog is going to sprawl on his couch.

At least until my wife gets home. Then he'll get off the couch and sprawl in his chair.

While we do that, you should click on these:

• Ryker is a good boy. He's just not a good service boy.



• Only in New Jersey.



• Key phrase in this story: "It was interesting to play sober."



• Bender doesn't have to worry about competition.



• Key phrase in this story: "...saluting city council with the one-finger wave."

No, I have not done any Christmas shopping yet

I have no idea when I got my Christmas shopping done in 2016 because I was busy finishing up my pilots license.

Last year I got it all done on December 23rd.

This year I'm hoping to be much better with my time and get it done by December 22nd.

I hate shopping.

When I need something, I go to a store, I buy what I need and then I go home. I derive no pleasure from wandering around looking at stuff.

🎄

Michael Cohen will be spending the next three years in prison and Donald Trump will be spending the next two months sweating about what Michale Cohen is saying about him.

This is going to get interesting.

🎄

Here are a few links for you to click on:

• Pffftttt.... Mormons....



• I'm thinking the Yankees might want to think a bit before poking the Red Sox with a sharp stick again. They are still paying for that New York, New York incident.



• Pants sandwiches are considered very tasty by some people.



• I prefer my steak to taste 100% like steak.

My wife got to mingle with the Governor

My wife runs the science department at Bay Path University and today Governor Baker showed up to tour the labs. My wife introduced him to her faculty and students.

Apparently he's a very nice guy.

And tall.

⧫

I'm thinking of building a Pi-hole for my home network.

I'm getting sick and tired of seeing over-bearing and incredibly bad advertisements as well as being tracked by every slimy data collector on the internet.

I'll let you know how it goes.

⧫

Here are a few links:

• You need a license to buy a dog. You need a license to drive a car. Hell, you need a license to catch a fish but they'll let any asshole become a parent.



• Yea, but did they pay the tariff?



• Did you ever notice that it's never an attractive person.



• Key phrase in this story: "The exertion and excitement proved too great."



• Apparently chickens do have brains.



• Key name in this story: "Pool Patrol Paula."

My job is interesting.

Currently, I am trying to gather quotes for some services I want performed and let me just say that contacting a sales rep at this time of the year with a request for a quote is like tossing raw meat into a pool of piranhas.

Those people are looking to bump their yearly sales numbers so they are frothing at the mouth to get my business. I must have six or seven emails from various people who without actually saying it are willing to spend money to get my business.

Personally, I don't want to go sit at some restaurant with a couple of smarmy sales guys who are trying to sell me their business. I would prefer they just send me a quote and let me decide who I want to do the job.

Then again, I wouldn't mind a trip to Max Burger....

⧫

While I watch bad television and see if I can find a crappy, washed out, flimsy five dollar bill to give to the Dolphins fan, you can click on these links:

• I don't know who the Bergerons are but I want to meet them.



• Researchers: Contributing to the betterment of society or a complete waste of perfectly good oxygen?



• Thank goodness I don't eat cereal anymore.



• Oh Canada.



• Give me a shitload of cocktail sauce and I'll eat it.

Last night was our neighborhood party

Every year, two of our neighbors throw a big bash just to get everyone together and laugh. We always go for two reasons: 1) it's a good time and 2) the shitty neighbors never show up.

There are three couples that always show up who don't really live in our neighborhood but everyone knows them. They all used to teach at the high school and I had the pleasure of being taught by them right at the very beginning of their career. That meant that for the most part, they were all three or four years older than me and we all got along pretty well at the time.

I was like the funny little brother who did things that got most kids in trouble but they kind of looked out for me.

⧫

Well, the Patriots managed to lose the Dolphins today and that means I am now $5.00 poorer

A guy I know is not only a Dolphins fan, he is also a rabid Patriots hater. When I saw him last week, he started up trash talking about how the Patriots suck and how Belichick is a known cheater and the Dolphins are gonna kick their ass.

I said, "Put your money where your mouth is. I'll bet you five bucks the Patriots win..." He asked about points and I told him if he wants points he should go to Vegas. I told him this is a binary bet - Win or Lose. Period.

He took the bet and now I owe him $5.00

I hate giving money to trash talkers. Particularly big-mouth trash-talkers. It just encourages them.

⧫

You can click on these links if you want:

• Australia: What doesn't kill ya, chews on ya for a bit and then spits ya out.



• "Oh my God! You punched him in the face! You kicked him so many times!"



• This is pretty shitty. These are people who didn't have much to begin with.



• The guy in Florida may have gotten away with it but the guy in Texas didn't.

Busy day today

Not a lot of time for prattling so I'll just get right to the links:

• Face Tattoos equals bad life decisions.



• I wonder if he got the job.



• Some people deserve to be punched in the throat.



• Only in Florida.



• Where were these teachers when I was in school? All of my teachers were 80 years old and they had necks like chickens.

Michael Cohen is going to jail

Looks like Michael "I would take a bullet for Trump" Cohen is singing like a canary and not gaining any sympathy from the courts. They are recommending stiff federal sentences that will leave him behind bars for more than three years.

Apparently he is guilty of tax evasion and lying under oath to Congress.

I suspect he also had a lot to say about Trump when he was spending time with Mueller. He strikes me as a guy who would say anything to save his ass.

⧫

I'm pretty sure it's Honda that decided to make a television commercial with an old Steve Austin Action Figure (doll). The doll jumps around on cars and uses some catch-phrases from the show.

I can't help but wonder if maybe 80% of the viewing public has no idea who Steve Austin is or what he is doing jumping around.

Seems like a dumb commercial to me.

⧫

The dow closed down another 588 points. This means it's down almost 1,500 points since Monday.

This is not good.

That's a loss of almost 6%.

⧫

Here are some links:

• If I were 18 years old and trying to figure out what college to attend, I would put Ohio State on top of my list.



• Key phrase in this story: "...suddenly spotted the huge hole in the bum."



• Maybe it was a Jehovah Witness Moose.



• Key phrase in this story: "If I got to act in a horror movie, I wouldn't need makeup like other actors to scare people."

I am never going to be able to retire.

The damned market plummeted 800 points yesterday and another 80 points today. Since Monday morning, it's done almost 1,100 points. That's almost 4% of its value.

I don't know about you but my portfolio didn't need a 4% drop.

And unless Donald "I'm Tariff Man!" Trump doesn't put down the tweeter machine and shut the hell up, I think we can expect it to continue dropping.

At some point I expect him to say something like, "This is the bestest and bigliest stock market ever!"

⧫

The Red Sox and Nathan Evoldi have agreed on a contract today and, pending a physical, Evoldi will be a member of the Red Sox for the next four years.

This, in my humble opinion, is a good thing. The guy is a work horse who can deliver quality pitches over a lot of innings. Having him on the pitching at the end of last season is one reason the Red Sox won the World Series.

Also, he's a good guy who seems to fit on the Red Sox.

⧫

I've about run out of things to say. I think I'll make some dinner and fall asleep early.

You can deal with these links if you want:

• I'd like to say it's those crazy Japanese but I've seen this kind of thing happen here on a pretty regular basis.



• Proof that some people aren't too bright.



• I believe that in Thailand they use the lash as a punishment. Trust me, you don't want to get lashed.



• Another reason I'm glad I got my pilots license...

No post today

I spent my day up at UMass at a cyber security conference.

It was a worthwhile day but I got home late and now I'm tired.

Here's a few links:

• Actually, they might want to move them into the candy aisle. That should thin the herd a bit....



• Researchers: Contributing to the betterment of society or a complete waste of perfectly good oxygen.



• As luck would have it, I only know women with short fingers.

I am never going to be able to retire

The DJIA dropped almost 800 points today. That's formally known as a shitload of points in the investment biz.

Donald "I'm the Tarriff Man" Trump needs to shut the eff up and stay off of tweeter.

Seriously, if this guy wants to get re-elected, he needs to stop talking.

⧫

You can visit these if you want:

• Australia: What doesn't kill ya, steals your beers and tries to kill your cow.



• His dad, Darth, will bail him out.



• Key phrase in this story: "...she demanded to be allowed to participate."



• Key entry from our favorite police log: "3:02 a.m. A Kalispell man said his wife got drunk and 'exploded'."

There is less limping

The Dog seems to be a bit better than he was yesterday so hopefully he's overcoming whatever it is that's causing his problem.

Personally, I think he frolicked a bit too hard last week and he pulled a muscle.

He is old and us old guys pull muscles pretty easily.

⧫

The Patriots pulled off another win yesterday giving them a record of 9-3. With only 4 games left in the regular season, it's a pretty good bet they will secure a playoff slot. Their closest division rival is the Dolphins with a 6-6 record.

Coincidentally, the Patriots play the Dolphins next week and if the Patriots win, they should secure the division. At least I think they will. Sometimes my math sucks so I could be wrong.

⧫

Well, I've got some documentation to put together for tomorrow morning and some bad television to watch.

I'll just leave you with these links here:

• This is an oldie but it's still one of the best baseball commercials ever made.



• Key phrase in this story about just how stupid we as a species have become: "Local officials said it was a 'more respectful and sustainable' solution."
  I was not aware pigeons were a finite resource that needed sustaining. Also, I'm pretty sure pigeons don't need any respect.



• Newsflash: Somebody drove into a drive-in.



• Every winter, there's always at least one dingbat that does this.



• I've come to the conclusion that Nigerians are some pretty stupid people.

Good timing.

Like I said yesterday, my gutters are clean. That's a good thing because today the rain gods decided to test them by pouring large amounts of water into them.

I'm pleased to report they worked just fine.

⧫

My dog has developed pretty severe limp so we are feeding him some puppy pain pills that my daughter says are like Tylenol for dogs.

I'm hoping he just did something stupid to himself and this is not an indication that he is breaking down. He's a great dog and we will do everything we can to keep him comfortable until this thing heals.

Including letting him sleep on the couch...

I said he is a great dog, not a classy dog...

⧫

I'm going to watch the Patriots play football against the Vikings.

You can do the same thing plus click on these links:

• Damn. Captain Parmenter died. He was a hero who sneezed abruptly seized retreat and reversed it to victory.



• I'm thinking my oldest and his wife might have picked a bad time to vacation in Paris.



• Maybe they were looking for those microwaved Stewart sandwiches. Those things are hard as wood.



• Only in China.



• Only in Florida.

The gutters are clean...

...and I am still alive.

I gotta say, those things were loaded with pine needles and leaves so I'm really glad I got them cleared. The leaf blower does a great job and it's way easier than doing it by hand.

Once the gutters were empty, I did the lawn and then finished putting up the lights.

We are, in my opinion, ready for the holidays but I suspect my wife may have other ideas.

⧫

President George Herbert Walker Bush passed away last night at the age of 94.

Not bad for a guy who was shot down while flying fighter planes in WWII and then dealt with the stress of one of the most stressful jobs in the world (Director of the CIA). Then, if that wasn't bad enough, he topped it all off by taking on an even more stressful role as President of the United States.

I liked him and I voted for him twice because I thought he was a decent man.

I also kind of like Dana Carvey's imitation of him.

⧫

While I deal with my sore back and legs, you can deal with these links:

• Presenting today's episode of Bad Life Decisions.



• Philadelphia: The City of Brotherly Love.



• The perfect gift for the jouster on your list.



• They need to do this where the intellectual giants at WNEU cross Wilbraham Rd.



• As far as I'm concerned, this is the only reason for self-driving cars.

Many things going on

We are rapidly entering the holiday season.

My wife decorated some of the house this afternoon leaving me with a minimal amount of decorating which I will do this weekend. Then it's just a matter of cutting down a perfectly good tree, decorating it like a French hooker and standing it up in our living room.

After that, it's time to shop because if I don't have anything for my wife, I will never hear the end of it and I will feel like schmuck.

⧫

Here are few links:

• Alaska had an earthquake. It's what they do.



• Trade him to the Mets.



• Marriott is kinda screwed after this.

I need to go flying

I'm due for a bi-annual flight review in December so I want to go up in the pattern for an hour or so before I have to fly with my CFI and get bi-annually reviewed.

The review isn't anything at all like the four and a half hours I had to go through to get my license two years ago but it is a review of the required skills. It's not really a pass/fail thing, it's more of a, "Here's what you need to work on" kind of thing.

Still, I want to spend some time working on a few things before I have to do them with my CFI. No sense embarrassing myself.

Besides, I'll take any excuse to go flying.

⧫

The links are here:

• Only in China.



• Key phrase in this story: "He was holding my hand crying..."



• Key phrase in this story: "We were all surprised how much gut and fecal bacteria there was on the touchscreen..."



• Researchers: Contributing to the betterment of our society or a complete waste of perfectly good oxygen?



• Homeland Security is protecting us from terrorists.



• That's a lot of steak.

I've got to clean my gutters.

I looked out the window of the front bedroom this morning and saw that the gutter over my garage is filled to overflowing with oak leaves. If that gutter is full you can bet the rest of them are just as full.

Cleaning them is pretty easy - I drag my leave blower up onto the roof and just blow the leaves out onto the lawn. The problem is I'm not as spry as I used to be and as a result, I'm not quite as comfortable on the roof as I was in my 30s.

I always tell my wife, "If you hear a load thump on the ground out back, call the finance guy and transfer the retirement money over to your account."

I'm pretty sure she doesn't think that's very funny.

⧫

So I managed to get Tommy's new computer working yesterday.

His big problem? He put dead batteries into the wireless keyboard.

Once I resolved that issue, it was just a matter of watching the machine do it's thing while I consumed a beer.

Now he needs to spend time figuring out how to do the things he used to do on his old computer and that isn't anything I can help him with.

⧫

You can click on these if you want:

• I would do this to my kids. My wife wouldn't but I would.



• I love The Onion. It's satire at its best.



• Only in Florida.



• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminal of the Month.

Not much to say

It was a busy day that involved Tommy buying a new PC.

I didn't get home until late so I didn't do any web surfing.

I promise I'll do some tomorrow.

Well, it didn't crash

At about 3:00 this afternoon, NASA managed to land another robot explorer on the surface of Mars.

This one doesn't have wheels. This robot has a drill and a seismic sensor. Well, actually, it's not really a drill in that it doesn't spin a cutting head to burrow into the planet. Think of it instead as a hammer with a nail.

Every day for a few hours, the hammer will whack the nail, driving it deeper into the planet. While it is hammering, the seismic sensor will record the impacts in order to determine what substance is being penetrated.

Once it reaches about 16 feet, it will be at its deepest and it will continue to conduct its seismic experiments.

Not as cool as the little robots that drive around and look at stuff but still, if this thing happens to find ice or liquid water below the surface, that will be very cool indeed.

⧫

Well, time for me to find some bad television. Here are some links you may find entertaining or enlightening:

• Yes, the Japanese are still crazy.



• Are you freakin' kidding me?
  Here's what I think they should do:
• Step 1 - Bring the parents in and have them control their kids.
• Step 2 - Bring back corporal punishment and beat the little shits.



• FitLoo is a terrible name for a bathroom.

Finally got to watch the Patriots.

They were on a bye week last week so football was a little scarce. This week they played the New York (New Jersey?) Jets.

It was in interesting game with the Jets looking like they a knew how to play football and the patriots looking like they forgot how to play football. By the time the game was over with, the Patriots had 10 penalties against them.

Tom Brady looked all of his 41 years and Rob Gronkowski looked like a 30 year old tight end who has taken a beating over the last 10 years. The game was tied 10-10 at the half when it should have been 21-10 in favor of the Patriots.

I'm thinking the Patriots better think about their next quarterback because if Brady makes it through this season, I'm betting he won't make it through next season. I remember when Bledsoe imploded back in 2001 and Brady took over as the QB. Brady is looking at the same situation now.

The man is not in his 20's anymore and it shows. His passes aren't as sharp, he is starting show fear in the pocket and he looks like he's struggling to find receivers. He threw two passes to Gronkowski in the end zone that weren't on the mark with one of them almost intercepted.

The second half seemed to go a bit better simply because the Patriots stuck to the running game and Sony Michel and James White managed to make us all forget that the Patriots didn't offer Deon Lewis a lot of money this summer.

The Patriots ended the game with a 27-13 win.

⧫

Not much going on in the world today. I looked at a lot of links and these are the only ones I could find that were at least a little interesting:

• I guess he spent it wisely.



• I'd still like to go there.



• This is not spontaneous. Two thousand people did not suddenly decide they wanted to go on a thousand mile stroll. Someone is driving this group like a herd of sheep. Who has the most to gain from this?



• Tomorrow at 2:00pm EST, you can watch NASA either land a robot on Mars or crash a spaceship into Mars. Either way, it's gonna be kinda cool.

And then there were none

We got up at 4:00 this morning and took my daughter & her little dog to the airport so they could board a plane for Iowa.

Their flights were uneventful and they arrived safe & sound in Des Moines this afternoon where she is once again settled in to her school life.

For three weeks.

That is when they will once again board a plane and return here for a couple of weeks worth of Christmas break.

⧫

As for us, I managed to get all the leaves off the parts of my yard that are currently snow free while my wife managed to cut down all the dead plants in her gardens. That means that next spring we won't have to kill ourselves getting all the crap off the yard before the growing season starts.

Trust me, it is easier to clean the gardens and yard when the ground is frozen than it is during the mud season known as spring.

⧫

Time for me to catch up on my sleep. Hopefully my daughter is doing the same.

While I do that, you can do these:

• I remember this guy. We all thought he was screwed but he overcame and succeeded. The man is a fighter.



• Key phrase in this story: "...telling the guards the device had nothing to do with him..."



• Key phrase in this story: "Her haircut will be wild and she will be named after French produce."



• The cartels are trying anything these days.



• Face tattoos: Always a sign of poor life decisions.

I have food bloat.

I ate way too much turkey yesterday and I'm paying for it today. But don't worry, I'm fine.

In an attempt to offset the turkey feast from yesterday, we decided to have a lasagna feast today.

I loosened my belt a notch and I still feel like I'm gonna pop. I figure as long as I don't bend over or try to lift anything heavy, I should be okay.

⧫

Time for a quick recap:

On Wednesday evening, we met up with all of our kids at a nice place in Leominster called Rye & Thyme. We had a great meal and spent a few hours listening to the youngest and his band play music. When the night was over, our oldest and his wife headed back to Framingham and the rest of us headed back here to get some sleep.

On Thursday, my eldest and his wife spent Thanksgiving with her family while my youngest and his girlfriend spent the day with us.

This afternoon, our youngest and his girlfriend headed back to the great white north (New Hampshire) where they will spend the next day or two with her family celebrating Thanksgiving all over again.

As for us, we are going to spend the evening digesting.

⧫

Speaking of my youngest, he is very proud of the fact that he was one of the many who managed make a purchase at the new recreational pot store in Northampton on opening day.  Apparently you can place an order on-line and then just walk in and pick it up.

He even went so far as to bring us a catalog from the store.

Trust me, it's not a little pamphlet. This is a full-blown catalog that rivals the Montgomery-Ward catalogs of old.

There is a smaller insert pamphlet called "Start Here" that gives some guidance on partaking of the weed. They even have a helpful table for beginners:

Kids these days got it easy. Back in my day, we had to meet up with some sketchy character wearing an old, beat-up BDU coat & a wool cap in the parking lot behind football field and buy whatever he claimed was "a dime of some really good stuff, man."

⧫

While I contemplate the major changes in our society, you can click on these links:

• Key phrase in this story: "...he apologized for attempting to flee..."



• Yes, alcohol was involved.



• Maine: It's just a bit different there.



• Only in Florida.



• I personally feel that this is how all legislation should be enacted.

Merry Thanksgiving everybody

Maybe I'll post something this evening, maybe I won't.

Only time will tell.

Today was preparation day.

We spent a good part of the day preparing food for tomorrow. All the veggies are cut, the casseroles are made and the pies are ready to go. The turkey is sitting in the fridge, ready to be stuffed and cooked to perfection.

We are good to go.

⧫

The stock market does not really know what it wants to do. Monday and Tuesday sucked and today could have been a lot better than it was.

I'm never going to be able to retire.

⧫

I hope my fellow Americans all have an enjoyable Thanksgiving. As for all you Italians, Germans and Swedes that are visiting this site on a regular basis, go about your normal daily business and enjoy that as well.

Everyone should enjoy these links:

• Oh Canada.



• Neighbors: Not all of them are good.



• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminals of the Day.



• Attention Alanis Morissette: The burning of oil causes global warming which is melting the ice which is making it difficult to drill for oil. That is ironic.



• Key phrase in this story: "The source also claimed Chau expressed interest in preaching to them."



• Mr. Kelly is proof that some people are either unlucky as hell or dumb as concrete.

Day Two

Thus ends my work week.

Have I mentioned I really like working at this college...

⧫

We finished the grocery shopping this evening so we do not have to set foot in a store tomorrow. I figure that every maniac in the world will be in the grocery stores tomorrow and I don't want to be anywhere near one.

If you have to be near one tomorrow, you have my sympathies.

⧫

No recent news on the Red Sox since the last move when they signed Steve Pearce for an additional year. I suspect they are still working on Nathan Evoldi, Joe Kelly & Craig Kimbrel but those three are going to be looking for big money so I won't be shocked if none of them end up back on the roster for 2019.

If I had my say, I would go after Evoldi. That guy is a work horse who can eat up innings and proved he can hold the line against some of the best offensive players in the majors.

If they can also either land Kelly or Kimbrel as a closer, they will be all set and we can sit back and relax until February when spring training kicks off.

⧫

For the record, the stock market is once again shitting the bed.

It was down 400 points yesterday and 550 today.

That's a lot of points.

⧫

You can click on these links:

• Oh Canada.



• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminal of the Week.



• The title says it all - "Failed Dog Yoga"



• Luckiest guys alive.

Day One

This week is only two days long for me.

In case I haven't mentioned it in the past, working at a college is great. The university is closed on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday so we only work Monday and Tuesday.

I really like working at the college.

⧫

Since there isn't a lot of interesting stuff going on right now, I'll just give you some links:

• Please celebrate responsibly.



• Key phrase in this story: “There is no traction. No grip. Just me and my fat body slipping around covered in oil.”



• Only in Florida.



• Nothing says redneck quite like a guy dressed in camouflage and hanging upside down in a tree.



• To quote the owner of the website, "Oh My!"

The little angel has not changed one bit

The small emergency backup dog has not changed one bit.

I fed them this morning and as soon as she finished her breakfast, she ran over to me and started bitching me out because she wanted a dog cookie and dammit, I just wasn't moving fast enough.

I don't speak dog but I do know that when she dances around me going "Harrarrarr!", I'm being told off.

I should also point out that my daughter managed to fly first class from Des Moines to Philadelphia because of her little dog.

After my daughter had checked in at the gate, she sat down with her angel. All of a sudden, the gate agent came over, handed her a new ticket and said, "Hi, I upgraded you to first class. Can I pet your pup?"

She is a cute little shit and she charms the crap out of every one she meets.

⧫

We spent the day doing pre-Thanksgiving stuff like shopping and eating at iHop.

Hey, what can I say, we like iHop.

You do your pre-Thanksgiving stuff and we'll do ours.

⧫

Here are some links for you:

• Apparently young Mr. Macron isn't quite as popular as we are led to believe.



• Key phrase in this Florida story: "He seems to have been some kind of character."



• I personally do not want to see any part of their bodies.



• I'm not shocked. Are you shocked? I'm not shocked.

And she's home

Our daughter and the small emergency backup dog arrived home this evening to spend the next week enjoying our company.

We are happy she is home and she is happy she gets to spend a week without the pressures of vet school.

⧫

Well, it's late and I don't have much else to add.

Here are some links:

• Oh Canada.



• There is controversy in the professional world of darts.



• Get a dog...

And another not bad day for the market

It was a decent day in the world of my retirement account. The DJIA and the S&P both closed up but the Nasdaq closed down. That's because the Nasdaq is the market where most tech stocks are traded and one of those tech stocks took a real bath today.

NVidia used to be known for making high end graphics cards but over the last few years, their cards have become a hot commodity with the cryptocoin miners.

You see, graphics and cryptocoin mining are both very math intensive and the NVidia cards do math really well. As a result, over the last few years, the crypto guys have been snapping up NVidia cards by the trainload, driving up the prices and driving up NVidia's profits.

Over the last few days, analysts have discovered that the cost of the electricity to run all those graphics cards has exceeded the value of the cryptocoins and the coin miners have stopped buying the cards. This caused the stock value of NVidia to plummet.

As a matter of fact, it plummeted 20% today.

That's a lot.

⧫

Here are some links that you might like:

• It's the old bowel movement defense.



• Inmate 1: So, what are you in for?
  Inmate 2: Murder. What about you?
  Inmate 1: Assault with hot, crispy bacon.



• There are times when cops do dumb things. This is one of them.



• Only in Florida.

The DJIA did not shit the bed today

The day started poorly for the Dow but right around 1:00 this afternoon it suddenly decided to scream up and end the day up about 200 points.

That does not make up for the last two days but it's better than down another 200 points.

I still can't retire.

⧫

Every time we have an election, Florida screws it up.

It's been 16+ years since Bush v. Gore and you would think that they would have fixed things by now.

I believe that the United States government should take away Florida's right to vote until they can get their collective shit together and learn how to run an election that actually works.

⧫

Found this today:

It made me smile.

⧫

The Red Sox extended Alex Cora's contract the other day.

He is a pretty good manager and it looks like ownership understands that they won the World Series because of not only the skills of the players but how he worked with those players.

Smart move on the Red Sox part. Now if they can figure out what to do about their free agents, life could be good.

⧫

Enjoy the links:

• Drunk Trash Pandas would be a great name for a country & western band.



• Things must be bad when they have to make an announcement like this.



• I'm betting this study was conducted by 25 year old hipsters with full beards, flannel shirts and skinny jeans.



• Key machine name in this story: "The Testimatic"



• Brazen Crustacean Heist would be a great name for a Jimmy Buffett song.

Another bad day for the DJIA

My retirement is getting pushed further and further away...

⧫

Looks like we are going to get our first snow of the season tomorrow evening.

I've already pulled The Beast out of hibernation and fired it up so I'm confident that I will be able to move snow without any issues on Friday morning.

Well, I might have a few issues...

Things like it'll be cold and I'm old.

But I won't have issues with moving the snow.

⧫

You can take a look at these links to see if they entertain or enlighten you:

• Something tells me drugs were involved.



• Key statement in this story: TELL THEM TO STOP LISTENING TO MY FARTS! THAT IS NOT NICE!



• Was it Swan Lake?
  (Yes, I'm probably going to hell)



• Today I learned that Iranian men have a far different interpretation of the word naked than I do.

I am never going to be able to retire.

The stock market took a real bath lately. It absolutely tanked, with the DJIA dropping about 500 points yesterday and another 100 points today.

That means my retirement account is getting the shit kicked out of it.

Oh well, I didn't want to retire anyways.

⧫

I'm going to get some food and then watch some bad tv.

You can click on these if you want:

• Key phrase in this story: “a bumper-to-bumper hemp highway.”



• To paraphrase Tod (Keanu Reeves) from the movie Parenthood: "You need a license get a dog and a license to drive a car. Hell, you even need a license to catch a fish. But they'll let any asshole be a parent."



• How low do you have to be to steal from the Girl Scouts...



• Shoshone, Idaho Police Dept. media guy has a sense of humor.



• This is old but stupidity never gets old.

New jobs are always exciting.

My oldest has decided to take a new job and he's very excited.

He lives in Framingham and he's been commuting to Beth Israel Hospital in the heart of Boston every day. He's also been working some odd shifts and lots of weekends at the hospital. Combine that with commuting through some of the worst traffic in Massachusetts and he decided to find something closer to home.

He will be working in an infusion unit of a medical center that is about 5 minutes from his house. Beth Israel has also asked him to remain as a per diem employee one day a week and he agreed to do that.

So bottom line is he won't be spending 2 hours a day in his car every day and he won't be working nights, holidays or weekends anymore.

Not a bad change.

⧫

Here are some links you might like to click on:

• Bummer. I always looked forward to his cameos. His most famous line was when someone asked him about digital comics instead of paper ones: "Comics are like boobs. They look great on a computer but I'd rather hold one in my hand."



• This is what happens when an air traffic controller has a stroke at a very busy airport.
  Warning: It's kind of long.



• The Red Sox just got themselves a fourth round draft pick. Now all they need is a closer.