Tomorrow is April Fools day.

I just wanted to remind you of that fact.

If someone tells you that their favorite radio station is giving away tickets to your favorite band and they give the the number to call and you get through and you win, you need to remember that it's April Fools Day.

If someone offers you a cup of hot coffee, you need to remember that it's April Fools Day and you have probably just been handed a cup of microwaved Pepsi.

If you receive a memo at work telling you that you are eligible for privileged parking and all you have to do is fill out a form, get it signed by your manager and be the first 40 people to return it to the security department, you need to remember that it's April Fools Day.

There are many things that I think you should probably be wary of but those three things are some of the better April Fools stunts I have pulled off.

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I was able to stream todays baseball game from WEEI 850AM so I got to hear the Red Sox play the Twins.

Wacha did not have a great outing but it wasn't terrible either. He faced sixteen batters, gave up five hits, one of which was a home run and left after four innings.

We are now one week from opening day and hopefully the Red sox are ready to go.

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Once again, I didn't get a lot of sleep last night so I think I'll fall asleep watching hockey. Maybe if I fall asleep, they'll win.

Here are todays links:

• This is your brain. This is your brain on drugs.



• Only in Florida.



• I know some humans that can't do this.



• I've said it before and I'll say it again - As a species, we need to apologize to all other species for our behavior during the 1970s.



• I suspect that there was a lot of alcohol involved.

The Bruins got their as kicked

The Maple Leafs beat the Bruins 6-4 last night and the Bruins are now back in the wild card race.

They currently lead the Capitals by three points

In baseball news, the Red Sox beat the Braves 10-7 this afternoon.

There are now only 8 days until opening day and according to the Weather Channel, April 7th will be a cold, rainy day in New York City. That means there is a possibility that just like the last few years, opening day will be postponed.

We'll just have to see what happens on April 7.

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Remember yesterday when I posted that story about Russia being nice guys?

Yea, not so much.

I guess Tony Winken-Blinken-and-Nod was right.

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I got very little sleep last night so I'm going to bed early.

You can click on these if you want:

• If you happen to go outside and you smell french fries, look up.



• Get ready for television and internet outages.



• Baseball: It's an interesting career choice.



• Japan: They're not like us.



• I can't help but wonder why he doesn't have a job in the porno industry.



• Speaking of the porno industry, apparently there is a building in Philadelphia called the "Boner Forever Building"...

I was a little busy today

I'm trying to create something for the HR team at work and it's driving me nuts.

When something drives me nuts, I tend to hyper-focus on it in an effort to resolve it and get it working. That means I wasn't looking for interesting stuff for you.

Also, I was able to stream the WEEI-AM radio broadcast of the Red Sox / Pirates game (the Red Sox lost) so that had my attention.

It's nice I can multi-task.

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U.S. Secretary of State, Anthony Winken-Blinken-and-Nod, made a statement today that I kinda liked.

Russia announced it was going to "reduce attacks on Kyiv" because, well, they're nice guys...

Blinken came out and said, "What I can say is this: There is what Russia says, and there is what Russia does."

That is a very diplomatic way of saying "I call bullshit."

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Key phrase in this story: "If Trump is a 2.8 handicap, Queen Elizabeth is a pole vaulter.”

For the record, I count at least 6 lies in that story.

Let’s count them, shall we:

1. “Scored a hole in one”
2. “Many people are asking”
3. “it is 100% true“
4. “sailed magnificently into a rather strong wind”
5. “it bounced twice and then went clank, into the hole”
6. “I am a very modest individual”

That man is so far removed from reality it's freakin' scary.

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There will be hockey this evening as the Bruins take on the Maple Leafs. If the Bruins win, they will once again be in the divisional race.

While I watch the game, you can visit these:

• As far as I'm concerned, deer are nothing more than giant rodents.



• Looks like Vlad is missing some ammo...



• Key entry from our favorite police log: "5:16 a.m. A caller said they were “tired of Congress"."



• This puts a whole new spin "take your kid to work" day.



• Key phrase in this story: "My family told me if I wanted to stay, I had to quit smoking and drinking."

Democrats like taxes

Goofy Joe has released his 2023 budget proposal and it contains a new tax of 20% against households worth more than $100 million.

I have a few thoughts on that:

1. Well, thank goodness I'm not worth $100 million dollars.


2. Does this mean rich people being taxed twice? If you have $100 million stashed in your mattress and you've already paid taxes on it, are you being taxed on it a second time?


3. So what... If I had a $100 million invested and earning 10% a year, that would be an income of $10 million per year. Additional taxes on that would be $2 million and my income would be $8 million. $8 million dollars for doing nothing but watching my money grow isn't a bad income.


4. Finally, I would like to point out that I seriously doubt this tax will be applied only to those people worth $100 million. Democrats have proven time and time again that they love to tax me, a non-millionaire and everyone like me. It's what they do. I figure that within the next two years or so, this 20% tax will end up coming out of my wallet.

What is it with democrats and new taxes? Just once I would like to see a democrat say, "You know what? That $10 million program to study the effects of sunlight on bald white guys is a waste of money. Let's cut that and use the money to fix those bridges that are falling down."

Hey, I can dream, can't I?

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The Bruins are back in the wild card slot because the Lightening and the Maple Leafs both won their games yesterday each of them earned two points.

Those wins gave the Lightening a one point lead over both the Maple Leafs and the Bruins. The Lightening has 88 points while the Bruins and the Leafs both have 87 points. The deciding factor in a tie is wins in regulation. The Leafs have 35 wins in regulation while the Bruins only have 33.

None of them are playing today. Tomorrow the Bruins will host the Leafs.

Hopefully the Bruins win tomorrow.

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Will Smith walked up on stage last night and slapped the shit out of Chris Rock after Rock said something bad about Smith's wife.

You know what? I don't care. The news media should shut up about it.

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I'm going to finish off some leftovers and watch some bad television.

Here are some links:

• Russians really like their poisonings.



• I'm betting that alcohol was involved.



• Key phrase in this story: "The pile of bicycles visible via satellite were discovered at a property in Oxford."



• I think I'll stick with Gorilla Glue.

The housing market is insane

The Vet has started the process of dipping her toes into the home-ownership pool by shopping for a house. My wife and I have been participating in this venture by nodding knowingly and making pleasant sounds when she shows us a new listing that she is interested in. We've also been going with her to open houses.

If you are thinking about buying a house, let me offer you some of my observations:

1. The words "open house" really mean "Come on over and take a look at this house that has already been sold."


2. The listing price of "$300,000" really means "Last year, this house sold for $200,000 but this year it will sell for $350,000. Deal with it."


3. Realtors are now like car dealers: They know they are selling a rare product that you really want. They hold all the cards. That means they can look down their nose at you and snort loudly if you try to bargain with them.


4. The pictures you see on Zillow.com or Realtor.com have been color-saturated, light-balanced and generally photoshopped to the point where they no longer represent the actual object the camera was pointed at. As a matter of fact, I think some of the pictures we saw online weren't even taken in the actual house being sold.


5. No one has any idea what the housing market will look like in a year. The house that sold for $350,000 in March of this year might be worth $250,000 in March of 2023. Or it might be worth $450,000. Who knowns. It's all a crap shoot right now.

Take those observations for what they are worth, which is absolutely nothing. I don't charge for my wit and wisdom so it has no value.

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I don't watch basketball because I don't care about basketball. Other than buying the occasional lottery ticket, I don't gamble because I have no luck.

Having said that, I would like to point out that if you had gone to a sports book back on March 1st and bet ten dollars on St Peters, you would have gotten a ticket that said the odds were 10,000 to 1. That means that you could be looking at a $100,000 payoff if St Peters wins it all.

Also, there are some bookies who may very well go bankrupt if St Peters wins.

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I've mentioned the website FiveThirtyEight.com before but I wanted to bring it up again. 538 represents the number of individuals that we elected to represent us in our government. They are the 100 Senators plus the 435 Congressmen plus the 3 non-voting members of Congress from Washington D.C.

I like fivethirtyeight because they aggregate polls in order to eliminate pollster bias. If you don't know about pollster bias, here's a rant I posted two years ago that might enlighten you.

The reason I bring this up is because I wanted to know how Biden compares to Trump so I went to fivethirtyeight and looked for the data acqjuired during Trumps presidency and then for Bidens presidency.

This is what I found:

From what I can tell, Trump was way better at pissing people off because he managed to become very unpopular almost immediately after getting elected. Biden, however, is a slow learner and it took him almost nine months to become very unpopular. Once he figured out how to piss people off, he got good at it and he is now as unpopular as any president has ever been.

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The Red Sox lost to the Twins this afternoon, giving them a 7-4 record. The Maple Leafs lost yesterday so the Bruins maintain second place in the Atlantic division.

Tonights entrèe will be North Atlantic cod with a nice buttered Ritz cracker breading.

Life is good and while I enjoy it, you can enjoy these:

• Ouch.



• If you use Chrome as your browser, you really need to update it right now.



• Imagine working for a guy that you have to correct in public on a regular basis.



• He gave us a lot of great songs but it looks like nerve damage and a bad back are doing him in.



• I'm pretty sure I saw this on an episode of The Sopranos.



• Mustache Intimidation would a fantastic name for a really bad Kojak episode.

Still rolling

For the first time this season, the Bruins beat the Islanders. They won this afternoon's game 6-2 and gained two points in the standings. That win pushed them past the Maple Leafs and into second place.

The Leafs are scheduled to play the Canadiens this evening and I expect they'll win. That will put them back into second place, just ahead of the Bruins by a percentage point.

Of course, if the Leafs lose tonight, the Bruins will remain solidly in second.

I hope they lose.

As for the Red Sox, they beat the Rays this afternoon and they are looking pretty good. So good in fact that I will not be surprised if they kick the Yankees ass over the first three games of the season starting on April 7th.

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There are a lot of rumors about members of Putin's inner circle suddenly not appearing in public. Some of those rumors are that Putin is feeling threatened by those close to him and has begun eliminating them. It must be tough being a Russian general right now, explaining to that psycho why the Russian army seems to be getting its ass kicked.

There may be another reason that members of his inner circle are not appearing in public. It's possible they are busy trying to figure out how to get rid of Putin and get out of this mess they are currently in.

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Today is a taco day. I love taco day. It's as good as Chinese food day.

While I watch the JTBC Golf Classic and make taco's, you can click on these:

• Once again, Goofy Joe is throwing gasoline on the fire.



• I can't help but wonder if this will hurt some teams.



• I've said this before but it's been a while so I'll say it again. If you have installed Kaspersky on your computer, you are kinda screwed.



• Key phrase in this story: "The victim ended up in his predicament after going to the toilet."



• There will be chicken hoarding.
  (And yes, I am fully aware of the fact that Chicken Hoarding would be a fantastic name for a 1960s high school rock band.)



• I'm pretty sure that putting crocodiles in your pants, even baby ones, is a really bad idea.

They did it

The Bruins beat the Lightening last night and have moved out of the wild card race. They are now in third place in the Atlantic division race.

Tomorrow they will play a team that kind of gives them a problem. They've played the Islanders twice this season and both time the Islanders won. I'm kind of hoping that trend ends tomorrow and the Bruins add two more points to their total.

In other sports news, the Red Sox lost to the Orioles yesterday and to the Braves this afternoon. That means their spring training record is now six wins, three losses.

We are now less than two weeks from opening day and things are looking good.

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The war in Ukraine isn't going quite the way Russia thought it would go. As a result, it looks like they are shrinking their goals a bit and will be satisfied with just taking control of eastern Ukraine. This is the part of the Ukraine known as the Donbas region.

I have a feeling that Russia is looking for a way to save face in this debacle and cut their losses.

Either way, I also have a feeling that Putin isn't long for this world. There are rumors that his "friends and supporters" are looking to replace him with someone who isn't quite as nuts.

In other news, there is also a rumor that the Russia military has started to send in "execution squads". These are military units whose sole job is to execute Russian soldiers who refuse to fight or who run away.

Nice guys, those Russians...

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Now that Connecticut has eliminated its gas tax effective April 1st, it might be to my benefit to buy my gas at Costco down in Enfield.

We'll see what the pricing is.

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Enjoy these links:

• Krazy Kim is extra krazy.



• We don't pay cops enough.



• I realize this is just a situation of the scientists needing more time to complete analysis but it still reeks of the "suspense marketing" used by some web sites..



• This is actually kind of funny.



• Call me crazy but this sounds kinda dangerous to me.



• They got some crazy shit happening in Cuba.

Two screens at once.

The Red Sox / Orioles gme is on at 6:00 and the Lightening / Bruins game is on at 7:00.

Since the Red Sox game is one of the free games being streamed on MLB and the Bruins is on NESN, I can watch both games at once.

We live in marvelous times.

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Back on March 21st, the Russians announced that one of their ships had docked in Ukraine to deliver weapons and supplies.

The Ukrainians read the announcement, identified the port where the ship was docked and did the smart thing - they launched a missile at it.

The ship and most of its cargo are currently burning vigorously.

This is why you should not be like the Russians: Don't do stupid things and post them on the internet for the world to see.

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I'm thinking chicken parm and spaghetti for dinner.

That will be followed by baseball and hockey.

Here are some links for you:

• Australia: What doesn't try to kill ya, throws a hissy fit in your bathroom.



• This seems like sound advice to me.



• Here's a phrase I've never heard before but understand completely: "...peering intensely up its clacker."



• Man, there's a museum for almost everything.

No longer a perfect record

The Red Sox lost to the Twins this afternoon 10-4, giving them a 6-1 record.

I gotta tell you, there are a couple of non-roster invitees that stand a pretty good chance of making the team. Some of those kids are playing some pretty damned good baseball.

Win or lose, it's fun to watch them play.

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There is no hockey tonight but a quick look at the standings shows the Bruins are now tied with the Maple Leafs in the Atlantic division. The Leafs are in the lead because they've played fewer games and have a higher win percentage but if the Bruins pick up a point on them, percentages don't matter.

The Bruins stand a very good chance of overtaking the Maple Leafs. This will move them out of the wild card race and put them into the divisional race.

Being a wild card team isn't a bad thing, it's a good thing but being one of the top three divisional winners is better.

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I discovered a new taste treat today.

One of my favorite things to make is tuna and egg. Instead of putting celery or cucumber into my tune, I chop up a hard boiled egg and mix that in with the tuna.

Today, I didn't feel like opening a can of tuna so I chopped up my egg, mixed in the mayo and on a whim, I tossed a handful of shredded cheddar cheese into the mix.

If you like egg salad sandwiches, allow me to recommend tossing a handful of shredded cheese into the mix. It makes for a pretty damned good egg salad sandwich.

I'll still take tuna and egg any day but in a pinch, egg and cheese is pretty good lunch.

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Tonights gsatronomic delight will by chicken pot pie followed by whatever kind of cookies I have in the cabinet.

While I enjoy my dinner, you can enjoy these links:

• In other baseball news, the Red Sox just did another great move.



• I do most of my shopping at Lowes.



• Attention Alanis Morissette: This is ironic.



• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminal of the Day.



• This is actually a brilliant idea.



• Yes, alcohol was involved.

Long day

Actually, that's a lie.

It was a reasonable day until I ended up at Tommy's with my buddy who just had rotator cuff surgery

Tommy and Eric kept buying beverages and I kept saying I have to go home.

Eventually I won but not before I had several beverages.

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Enjoy these links while I fall asleep on my couch

• I still think it should be legal to run these assholes over with your car.



• I forgot to mention that the Red Sox beat the Rays 4-2 this afternoon.



• Only in Florida.



• Now they tell me...



• Australia: What doesn't try to kill ya, kinda creeps you out.



• It's the old, "I was playing a game!" defense.

Five down, one hundred and seventy six to go.

The Red Sox won their fifth game today, beating the Braves 5-0, giving them a 5-0 record. There are fourteen spring training games left to play before they pack up and head to New York on April 7th to play their season opener against the Yankees. There are one hundred and sixty games during a regular season so that means they have 176 games left to play before they head into the playoffs.

So far, they are doing pretty damned well.

As for the Yankees, they actually won a game today, beating the Phillies 5-2.

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The Bruins are in Montreal to play the Canadiens at 7:00 this evening.

I expect to remain awake for all three periods of this game.

I also expect the Bruins to win since the Canadiens are currently the worst team in the NHL.

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Two things to say about this:

1. Russian missiles look like something a 13 year old kid would make out of an old stove pipe.
2. Either the Russians are intentionally shooting at civilian targets or the Ukrainians are hiding munitions in their kitchen cabinets.

I seriously doubt that the Ukrainians are hiding their munitions in their kitchen cabinet. From what I've been reading, they hide their munitions in their guns, tanks and missile launchers, ready to go at a moments notice.

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I'm going to figure out what to make for dinner, get into my stretchy pants and then settle in to watch some hockey.

Here are a few links:

• They are slaughtering women & children and destroying entire cities but they are upset by name calling.



• Key entry from our favorite police log: "6:42 p.m. An intoxicated man fell out of his vehicle."



• Japan: They aren't like us.



• As Art Linkletter used to say, "Kids say the darndest things."



• I don't know the answer to this question but I can't imagine it would hurt it.

Four in a row

The Red Sox beat the Orioles 3-2 this afternoon. That gives them a record of 4-0

And because I like to keep track of these kinds of things, the Yankees lost to the Tigers today, giving them a record of 0-1-2. Allow me to translate that record for you: That is zero wins, one tie and two losses.

In other baseball news, the Red Sox have agreed to a contract with a guy named Trevor Story.

I gotta be honest with you, since he used to play in the National League for the Rockies, I don't recall ever seeing him play. I can tell you that he is regarded as one of the premier short stops in the MLB. Since the Red Sox already have a highly-rated short stop in Bogaerts, I understand that Story will transition to second base.

I hope this works out for all concerned because of he is as good as they say, the Red Sox will have a devastating lineup in the batters box and a wall in the infield. With Devers at third, Bogaerts at short, Story at second and Dalbec at first, it should be fun to watch.

Add to that the fact they have Verdugo, Hernandez and Bradley Jr in the outfield and I have high hopes that they will once again be playing baseball this coming October.

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I found a dead hawk lying in the middle of our side yard this morning and the first thought that crossed my mind was, 'Well, I guess those owls don't like hawks very much." Then I realized there are no trees near where it lay and it looked like it just fell out of the sky.

Now I'm wondering if maybe we are seeing that damned H5N1 bird flu.

We're gonna jump from one pandemic to another...

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Spring has arrived and that means it's time to change the oil in all my machines and get ready for summer.

Tomorrow I will start every one of my machines and let it idle for 10 or 15 minutes. That will heat up the oil and make it flow faster. Then I will proceed to drain the oil out of each engine and all over my garage floor because that is always what happens.

Despite my best efforts, I usually end up with oil on my garage floor. Sometimes, lots of oil. Fortunately I'm fully aware of my standard oil change process and I have a lot of kitty litter on hand.

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Time to make some dinner and settle in to watch some bad television.

You can enjoy these if you want:

• Only in Florida.



• This is why I don't eat oysters.



• I had a teacher in high school named Amanda. She went by the name Mandy. She was funny and nice and a bit odd. For the record, she wasn't this odd.



• Alabama: Florida's hat.



• If you've never had Chick-fil-A, you don't know what you are missing.



• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminal of the Week.

Keep on rolling

The Red Sox won again this afternoon. That makes their record 3-0.

I feel compelled to mention that the Yankees current record is 0-1-1.

Wouldn't it be great if this is how the season goes?

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The Bruins beat the Jets last night and are currently two points behind the Maple Leafs.

The Capitals also won last night so the Bruins maintain their one point lead in the wild card.

They are looking good. Hopefully they can make it through March and April with more wins than losses. If they can do that, they stand a good chance of playing in May.

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Putin held a "Trump rally" the other day.

You know the rally I'm talking about. It's the one where a dictator (or in the case of Trump, a wanna-be dictator) gathers a bunch of his disciples in a large auditorium who cheer loudly and shout in agreement when their demigod lies to them...

Two things worth mentioning:

Pretty sure Biden's sanctions aren't working very well because Putin was wearing a $13,000 coat.

Several internet geniuses/sleuths have discovered that a lot of the footage shown on Russian television of the rally was actually footage from an event a few years ago.

Basically, Putin stole a page from Trumps book.

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Here are some links you can check out if you want:

• Defensive Flatulence would be a great name for a 1980's German techno band.



• Turns out that attacking your rescuer is a bad idea.



• Japan: They aren't like us...



• There is a very real possibility that she is right.



• There is nothing I can say about this that would make it any funnier.



• Only in Florida.

So far, so good

The Red Sox are 2-0 after two games. I'm kinda hoping that is an indication of how their season will go.

Yesterday, they beat the twins 14-1 and today they beat the Blue Jays 7-6.

Yes, I realize it's spring training.

Yes, I realize that a lot of the guys I'm watching play won't be playing in the regular season.

I don't care. It's baseball and since my advanced years prevent me from playing it, I get great pleasure out of watching it being played.

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In the other sportings, the Capitals are breathing down the Bruins neck. They are now only one point behind the Bruins in the wildcard.

If the Bruins lose tonight and the Capitals win, the Capitals will be one point ahead of the Bruins in the wildcard.

Basically, the Bruins need to win tonight. They are playing the Jets tonight at 8:00 which means I probably won't know who won until tomorrow morning.

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I'm going to go make some dinner and feed everyone, including the fur-bearing critters.

While I do that, you should take a look at these:

• You can't help but wonder if Uncle Vanya’s will have menu items like Huge Macski, Chicken Kievnuggets or Egg & Cheese Vladmuffin.



• It should be legal to run these assholes over.



• I don't know why but this kind of stuff excites me.



• Aggressive Squirrel would be a fantastic name for a 1960s lounge band.



• Only in Florida.
  (For the record, those things are really cool and their blood is contains a substance that is used to treat infections.)



• Oh Canada.

I'm not Irish

Since I'm not Irish, I care about St Patricks Day about as much as I care about any other ethnic day of celebration - I don't care about it.

I don't care about it at all.

I have no desire to go to a parade, wear green, drink green beer or wear a shamrock lapel pin.

I alos don't want to carry a shillelagh, drink a crappy green milk shake from McDonalds or say things like, "Shore and begora, gimme a shot of Jameson's" or "Sweet jaysus, Sully, I tink we need anudder shot of Jameson's" or "Wadda ya mean yer out of Jamison's! Gimma a Jamison's ya gobshite or I'll kill ya!""

I will, however, eat corned beef and cabbage. That is some seriously good food.

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The Bruins lost last night which means they didn't pick up any points on the Maple Leafs or extend their lead of the Capitals.

But that doesn't matter because...

...the Red Sox played baseball today and I got to watch it.

Granted, it was the first spring training game and the team consisted of mainly of minor league players and invitee's who are trying to earn a spot but that doesn't matter.

What matters is that there was baseball.

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My phone received an update the other day that gives it the ability to unlock using my face even when I'm wearing a mask.

I could have used that when we were still wearing masks...

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Here are some links that might entertain or inform you:

• Seems like these "I find that hard to believe" things always happen in China.



• Only in Florida.



• Oh Canada.



• Looks like Willie Wilson is making friends.



• Yes, alcohol was involved.



• It's nice to see that my 18 year old Volvo isn't listed.

Busy day today

I started my day with breakfast with an old friend. Well, she's not old, she's a friend that I've known for a long time.

So just to be clear, I'm old, she's not.

After breakfast I came home, got out the heating pad for my poor busted-up back and settled in to work.

For the record, the heating pad did not help. My back stills feels like someone hit me with a baseball bat.

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The Bruins won last night, moving them within two points of overtaking the Maple Leafs in the Atlantic Division. They are still three points ahead of the Capitals in the wild card.

In other words, with twenty two games left in the season, they are positioned to grab a playoff slot come May

Tonight they are in Minnesota to take on the Wild at 7:30. That means I'll probably be able to watch more than one period.

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While I watch hockey and nurse my aging back, you can click on these:

• Apparently Black Lives don't matter to her as much as she would have you believe.



• I'm looking forward to seeing the pictures this thing takes.



• Oh Canada.



• Only in Florida.



• No thanks.



• Oops.

Time for an about-face

Those of you that have been reading this drivel for the last several years know that I do not care for Willard "Look at my hair! I have perfect hair! And I'm very wealthy!" Romney. I think he is an arrogant, self-centered egotist. Also he's the dick that took away my god-given right to smoke in a bar so screw him and everyone that looks like him.

Having said that, I do have to give credit where credit is due.

Back in 2012, during the heat of the presidential campaign, Willard was interviewed by Blitz Howitzer and he made some interesting statements. Statements that the other arrogant, self-centered egotist in the campaign, Barack "I'm black and I'm president! Cops are dumb!" Obama used against him to make him look like a moron.

If you read that interview, you'll see that Romney claimed that Russia was probably the greatest threat the US faced. This statement was made just as Putin was assuming power.

Turns out that in that particular instance, Romney might have been the smartest guy in the room and Obama was a bully belittling Romney for being correct.

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Speaking of politics, I figure it's time for me to once again present you with the greatest quote ever regarding our two political parties:

The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management skills of celery. They're the kind of people who'd stop to help you change a flat, but would somehow manage to set your car on fire. I would be reluctant to entrust them with a Cuisinart, let alone the economy.

The Republicans, on the other hand, would know how to fix your tire, but they wouldn't bother to stop because they'd want to be on time for Ugly Pants Night at the country club.
- Dave Barry

For the record, Dave is my literary hero.

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In baseball news, the executive leadership at NESN either reads this blog or they are smarter than I give them credit for.

I checked the tv listing page again today and it now shows that the Red Sox / Twins spring training game will be shown at 1:00pm on March 17th.

I like to think it's because they read my blog.

As a matter of fact, I'm going to take credit for NESN deciding to show the first Red Sox spring training game of 2022 instead of some Benny and Jilly rerun.

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Time to figure out what to have for dinner and maybe do some more work on my non-existent web site. After that I'll probably fall asleep on my couch while watching the first period of the Bruins / Black Hawks game.

Enjoy these links:

• Deer are nothing more than giant rodents.



• Australia: What doesn't try to kill ya, just wants to pop in for a Fosters.



• Oh Canada.



• Texas: The Australia of America.



• Only in Florida.



• No. No it's not.

Old baseball is better than no baseball

The Red Sox first spring training game is scheduled for March 17th at 1:00pm and so far, NESN's online tv schedule says that on March 17th at 1:00pm, they will be showing an incredibly exciting rerun of Billy & Jenny instead of a baseball game.

What the hell is wrong with the executives making the decisions at NESN?

Fortunately, they ran a baseball game from August of 2004 at 3:00 this afternoon and I watched it.

It was great to hear Jerry Remy and Don Orsillo calling a Red Sox game.

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I'm still playing around with my webserver and one thing I noticed is that the google bot found me this morning.

That means that google has indexed my non-existent web sight.

As Navin R. Johnson said, "I'm somebody now!"

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I'm going to figure out what to do about dinner and watch some news.

You can click on these if you want:

• Housing Ukrainian refugees in seized Russian mansions is one of the best ideas ever.



• If there is one thing Richie Neal is good at, it's showing up late to the party and stealing the spotlight.



• How does a three year old kid get a gun?



• I have to remember that instead of saying “beat the shit out of him”, we should now say, "closed fist distraction blows".



• Today is my day.



• Researchers: Finally doing something worthwhile.

I hate time changes

Last night, after the Bruins finished off the Coyotes 3-2, I took two NyQuil in an effort to combat a head cold/sinus issue I've been dealing with. Then I went to bed.

If you know me, you know that head cold medicine messes with my brain and my sleeping habits so I got kind of a shitty nights sleep. When I got out of bed at 6:00 to let the dog out, I felt like I hadn't slept at all.

As I type this, the clock in front of me says 7:00pm and it feels like it's 10:00pm.

I hate head colds (No, it's not the rhona) but I really hate these damned time changes we go through every few months.

I vote we just leave it at daylight savings time and knock it off the whole time change thing.

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As I said, the Bruins won last night but just barely. Despite the fact the Coyotes kind of suck (they are in last place in the western conference), the Bruins did not impress me with their play.

They scored two quick goals in the first period and it looked like they were going to beat the daylights out of the Coyotes. Then they kinda fell apart and allowed the Coyotes to score one goal in the second period and a second goal in the third, tying the game.

With three minutes left in the game, they Bruins scored a third goal and then struggled to hold off the Coyotes over the final three minutes. The Coyotes came damned close to tying the game in the last second but Swayman held his own and saved the game.

They face the Black Hawks again this Tuesday but this game is in Chicago which is not in my time zone. With the game starting at 8:30 and the probability that this time change will have me all screwed by Tuesday night, I'll probably find out who won the game on Wednesday morning.

Have I mentioned that I hate time changes?

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I'm going to watch the nightly coverage of the war. I can't help but wonder if one of my nephews or a son/daughter of someone I know will end up in harms way over there.

It's not Goofy Joe that worries me, it's the congressmen and senators that keep saying, "We need to get involved! We need to send jets!"

Those assholes worry me.

I feel bad for the Ukrainians but escalating the risk of nuclear war with that psycho from Russia is something we do not need to do.

I have grandchildren and I would like very much for them to grow up in peace and prosperity.

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Here are some links:

• The little helicopter that could.



• Key phrase in this story: "...he is very stable..."



• I like these moves.



• Key phrase in this story: "...a large amount of cannabis was found."



• Am I to understand that they've turned mowing the lawn into a video game?



• Only in Florida.

The internet is a pain in my ass

Just when I think I've got things figured out, I discover that the internet has other plans for me.

I've created a login system for my webserver and everything is going great. It prompts a user to login and compares their credentials to the encrypted credentials stored in the database. If they don't have an account, it prompts them to create one.

A secure login is the first stage of almost any process I forsee creating. Want to download a picture I provided? Login and go get it. Want to upload a document to me? Login in and drop it in the widget.

The problem is, I do not have a digital certificate from an issuing authority for my server. That means there is no SSL encryption between the browser and the server, it's all plain text. This is a bad thing when it comes to sending passwords back and forth.

I'd use a self-signed certificate but most modern browsers treat servers with self-signed certificates as if they were bank robbers wearing striped shirts and little eye-masks. Visit one and at the very least you'll get a popup telling you that you are entering a very dangerous place. In the case of Chrome, you probably won't even be able to visit.

Anyone know of a place I can get a free digital certificate because I'll be damned if I'm gonna pay a few hundred dollars for one.

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In baseball news, the Red Sox have invited Tristan Casas to spring training

The kid is a phenom and he was tearing the cover off the ball in triple-A last year. Assuming he has his mind straight and he can handle the pressures of major league baseball, he will be fun to watch.

I'm not sure what other moves the Red Sox are going to make. I would like to see them re-sign Kyle Schwarber and give some thought to a long-term deal for Enrique Hernandez.

Rafael Devers is still two years away from free-agency and Xander Bogaerts is four years away. That means there really is no push to get them signed this year. Next year, however, they need to think about keeping their two homegrown superstars. Those guys are fan-favorites who bring a lot of fun to the game.

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The Bruins game starts at 7:00 tonight but tomorrow starts daylight savings time.

I considered going to bed early to avoid the bullshit that I usually have to deal with when the time changes but then I realized no matter what I do, I'm going to be screwed up.

Here are some links to contemplate:

• Only in Florida.



• This is your brain. This is your brain on drugs.



• Something tells me there is a lot of alcohol consumed during this.



• Tell you what, I'll just open the door and stand there looking inside for what I want while you run your commercials on the other side of the door.



• You gotta love dogs...



• Key phrase in this story: "...he used it for non-dairy methamphetamines."

Still price gouging

Due to it's proximity to our house and the fact it's just down the road from the place we grocery shop, we usually fill our cars at the same gas station. We've been doing that for years and since it is at a busy intersection with three other gas stations, I can tell you that it's prices are usually slightly below the average. Healthy competition will do that.

Today, I checked that GasBuddy map and found out that the price of regular gas at the station I always go to is $4.49 a gallon:

Three months ago, shortly after the New Year, my wife and I were driving home from our weekly grocery shopping expedition (or as I like to call it, "The Hunt for Sustenance") and I said to her, "Man, gas is getting damned expensive. It's $3.29 a gallon. Last summer it was about $2.90 a gallon. At this rate, we're going to be paying $3.50 a gallon by the time summer rolls around."

Boy, was I wrong.

Factor in the annual price increase due to the "summer blend" and now I think we're going to be paying $7.00 a gallon this summer.

But fortunately for us, Goofy Joe has explained it all - This is all caused by Putin.

This has nothing to do with the fact that the current administration has alienated itself from every oil producing nation on the planet (they won't even take his calls) while at the same time discouraging domestic exploration and drilling. No sir, it ain't the current administration, it's Putin.

Good Ol' Goofy Joe wants us to ignore the fact that the U.S. gets so little oil from Russia that the decision to stop buying it has almost no impact on Putin. We're talking 10 percent of our oil imports (which is only about 20 percent of our oil use) and fractions of a percent of his oil sales. Not buying oil from Russia does not decrease our oil supply by any appreciable amount.

Newt Gingrich may have said it best the other day when he said, "Why would you buy oil from Saudi Arabia and not from Texas? Why would you buy gas from Venezuela and not from Oklahoma?"

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Speaking of Russia, the small countries that are not being attacked by Russia have decided to poke the bear a bit. Several of them are changing the street names of the streets where the Russian Embassy is located.

For instance, the government of the city of Vilnius in Lithuania has changed the name of the street the Russian Embassy is on to "Ukrainian Heroes Street"

I know that if Putin wants to send a letter to his ambassador in Lithuania, he does not put a stamp on it and drop it in the mailbox. I doubt he'll ever know that the address has changed. That's not the point.

The point is it's a fun way of poking Russia for being a giant asshole.

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Time for some baseball news

Turns out the season will now open on April 7 with the Red Sox visiting the Yankees.
They have also decided to make the following changes:
1. No more putting a runner on second base to start extra innings.
2. Double headers will once again be a full nine innings.
3. The National League has adopted the designated hitter rule.
Also, my youngest informed me that he scored tickets to the Red Sox home opener and so I should keep an eye out for him when the camera pans the bleachers.

This has been your baseball news.
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The Bruins managed a last-minute goal to break a tie and beat the Black Hawks 4-3 last night.

Tomorrow the Coyotes are in town and the puck will drop at 7:00.

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Time to see what's for dinner and then put on some bad television.

Here are some links you might find interesting:

• Oops. Our bad...



• At 10:00 this morning, the DJIA was up 321 points (just about one percent) and it looked like it was going to be a good day. Then, at 10:30 this morning, Goofy Joe gave this speech and the DJIA started to plummet. It closed at 4:00 this afternoon down 229 points (just about .7 percent).



• Hey! Maybe they finally found Jimmy Hoffa...



• It's another case of seagull violence.



• Only in Florida.

Price gouging.

John heats his home with oil and he tells me that a gallon of home heating oil is now around $5.00.

He has a 250 gallon tank that he has to fill at least once a month.

That means John is spending about $1,200 per month to heat his home.

That, my friends, is price gouging. There is no way that a gallon of home heating oil should cost $5.00. That is the oil delivery company, the oil supply company and the oil refining company stealing from people because they can get away with it.

They can get away with it because Goofy Joe told them they can simply blame the price increases on Putin.

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Time for another update on baseball:

It looks like there might be baseball one of these days.

Walt has expressed his concern that he still might not get to see any spring training baseball games.

This has been your baseball update.

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The other day we had a tree full of vultures in our backyard.

Some people would take that as a bad omen but not me.

No sir, I wasn't concerned about it one bit.

I was not concerned because they were staring at my neighbors house, not mine.

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I'm going to watch the Bruins take on the Black Hawks.

You can visit these if you want:

• If you're wondering how world war III is affecting the average tracksuit-wearing Russian, wonder no more.



• Key entry from our favorite police log: "9:52 p.m. A woman called 911 and said she wasn’t sure she could walk home, but she couldn’t call a cab because the phone she was calling on was dead."



• Any of you looking for a job?



• Australia: What doesn't try to kill ya, takes a big old dump on ya.



• Only in Florida.

Poland ain't too bright

So the good people of Poland, in an effort to help the Ukrainians defend themselves, decided to give all of their fighter jets to the Ukrainians.

The problem is, the Poles don't want to be the ones that give them to Ukraine because if they do that, the Russians will suddenly decide that maybe they need to attack Poland. They decided instead to give all their jets to the United States and ask the United States to give the jets to Ukraine.

In the first place, if the United States gives a bunch of jets to Ukraine, Russia may very well decide they have justification to attack the United States.

In the second place, Poland never asked the United States if we wanted the jets. They never asked the United States if we wanted to be the middleman in this little transaction.

This entire thing was sprung on the United States in much the same way a 5th grader tells his mom at 6:30 in the morning he needs to bring 25 cupcakes to school today.

Then again, I don't think the United States is too bright either. This is who Goofy Joe is sending as our representative the big World War III kickoff meeting...

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Time for an update on baseball:

Nope, still no baseball.

This has been your update on baseball.

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Not much else to blab about. How about some links:

• I am not shocked by this.



• How big were his pants?



• Can't be any worse than huffing spray paint.



• The French: They aren't too bright either.



• First the pandemic, then world war III and now this. Things just keep getting better and better..



• Actually, there is a 'whole lot funny' about bologna smuggling.

Well, they lost.

Once again, the Bruins gave up the game-tying goal with less than a minute left in the game. The only difference this time is that they also gave up the game-losing goal during the OT period.

Fortunately, they are still 4 points ahead of the Capitals in the wild card but they aren't picking up any ground in the divisionals. The Maple Leafs are still 3 points ahead of them.

They are off until Thursday when the Black Hawks will be in town to hopefully give the Bruins a win.

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For those of you that are interested, my friend from Russia is still poking away at my little server:

You would think they might have other things to do, what with them invading their neighbors and all.

By the way, those numbers show successful access. That is the number of times that the visitor actually connected to the server and saw the following web page:

There are hundreds, maybe thousands, of attempts from that address where they failed to connect and this is what they saw:

Do you think they care they are in violation of numerous international laws?

I don't think they care either but I felt the need to warn them.

I'm nice that way.

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I'm going to watch some DVRs and go to bed early

You can click on these if you want:

• Remember when I said gasoline might go up to $6.00 a gallon? Well, I might have understated that amount. Don't be surprised if you see $7.00 a gallon...



• Key phrase in this story: "I think they're a little bit unsettled by the way in which Vladimir Putin has driven the Europeans and the Americans much closer together."



• Whelp, I'd say this is going to push the Russians over the edge.



• This is why I eat the tail but not the head.



• Yes, alcohol was involved. Apparently a whole lot of alcohol.



• Ouch.

Yes, there will be hockey

The Kings are in town and hopefully history will repeat itself. The last time they met, the Bruins beat the Kings 7-0.

It will be nice if they do the same thing again tonight.

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So a gallon of gasoline is now selling for $4.29. That's in increase of more than a dollar in the last two months. If things continue moving the way they are moving, it will be above $5.00 a gallon sometime in April. By May, we might be paying $6.00 a gallon.

That will suck.

I'm beginning to think that maybe someone wants us all to buy an electric vehicle which, on the surface sounds, like a great idea but what are we going to do with all those batteries when they lose their juice? How do we dispose of all that toxic waste?

Hell, we're not even allowed to toss AAA Energizer's in the trash, how are we supposed to get rid of a giant 5'X5' lithium battery?

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Here's a quick lesson in propaganda:

This guy invaded Ukraine and got killed:

This is what his boss had to say:

"Today in Volnovakha, the commander of a separate reconnaissance battalion 'Sparta' of the Guard, Colonel Vladimir Zhoga, call sign Vokha, died heroically. He was mortally wounded while ensuring the exit of civilians. Sparta' covered the evacuation of civilians, mostly women and children. The Nazis opened fire on them..."

That, my friends, is pure bullshit. That is what we would call a bald-faced lie. He was no more helping "women and children" escape from Ukraine than he was singing "Swing Low Sweet Chariot" while baking small pastries for his church group.

For the record, his rank of "Colonel" was awarded to him by...

...him.

He is not a member of any government-controlled military organization. He is basically a war-lord wanna-be with a silly hat and a lot of fake medals.

The gang known as "sparta" are a group of neo-nazis thugs who decided that this little war was a good way for them to make a name for themselves and have a little fun killing anyone they happened to run across.

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I'm going to eat, put on my comfy pants and settle in to watch some hockey. Hopefully the puck gets dropped closer to 7:00 than 8:00.

While I do that, you can visit these:

• This man is full-tilt bozo's.



• If you have any plans for a cross-country drive along I-10, I suggest you avoid New Orleans.



• Researchers: Contributing to the betterment of our society or a complete waste of perfectly good oxygen? We report, you decide.



• Maybe instead of worrying about the safety of my brother the cop I should worry about the safety of my sister the special ed teacher.



• Milk Duds?



• Apparently even aliens are pissed at Russia.

I found a new show to watch

So apparently Amazon has made a series out of Lee Child novels, Reacher, and I discovered it this afternoon.

It's actually a pretty good representation of the novels, not like that crappy movie Tom Cruise made.

If you have Amazon Prime, I recommend it.

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The Bruins played an interesting game last night.

The Bruins had a 4-3 lead in the third period but with less than 4 seconds left in the game, the Blue Jackets tied it up 4-4, sending the game into overtime. Neither team scored during the OT period, sending the game into a shootout.

The Bruins third shooter, Pasternak, managed to slip a puck past the goalie, winning the game and giving the Bruins a win. This win keeps their three point lead over the Capitals in the wild card.

I would like to point out that the NHL lied to me when they said the game would start at 7:00. They didn't get around to dropping the puck until after 7:45 which means I was up until past my bedtime last night.

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Regarding the MLB lockout, there was once again no movement on either side.

I saw a posting today that read:

The commissioner of baseball, Rob Manfred, has punished MLB fans far more than he ever punished the World Series stealing Houston Astros!

We won't be watching baseball at any time in the near future

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Here are some links for you to enjoy:

• I had forgotten that it is illegal to pump your own gas in New Jersey.



• Here's a headline I bet you never thought you would see.



• The governments might not want to sanction Russian oil but the dock workers want nothing to do with it.



• Only in Florida.



• A jet pack?



• Here's your Naked Guy In The News story.

I will be watching hockey this evening!

The Bruins are in Columbus, Ohio which is in the eastern time zone. That means their 7:00pm is the same as my 7:00pm.

That means I will be able to watch them play hockey tonight.

Hopefully the Bruins win.

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Yes, the Russian army is still shooting unarmed civilians in Ukraine. And not by accident.

Thanks to cell phones and social media, there are numerous videos of soldiers lining up and firing at people who are yelling at them to go home.

I would say that amounts cold-blooded murder. It's certainly not self-defense or protection of property, it's murder, plain and simple.

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Rotisserie chicken and roasted vegetables are on the menu for this evening. That will be followed by hockey.

While I enjoy that, you can enjoy these:

• Speaking of dinner...



• Key entry from our favorite police log: "1:35 p.m. Someone reported a woman repeatedly 'digging her face into the ground,' but it turned out she was just attempting to nurse a frozen squirrel back to health."



• This may explain some things.



• This should be fun.

They're bombing nuclear power plants

The morons from Russia decided it would be a good idea to attack a nuclear power plant and damn near caused a catastrophe.

This act has caused NATO to spin up and start making statements about defending itself from Russia and accusing Russia of war crimes.

I have two thoughts on this.

1) Yes, Russia is guilty of war crimes. Then again, so is the United States. Remember late last year when we used a drone to blow up a family of five who just wanted to go get some water? Yea, that was pretty damned criminal if you ask me. Is it worse that Russia attacked a nuclear facility? Yea, in the long run, it's probably a lot worse and they should be thought of as criminals.

2) All this saber rattling and waving around of nuclear bombs is bad. Very bad. I lived through the 60s and 70s. I remember doing "duck and cover" drills in school where we were taught that the only thing capable of withstanding a nuclear blast is whatever that crap is they make school desks out of.

If the sirens go off (or whatever the modern equivalent is that tells us the end is near), I'm going to grab a pack of cigarettes, a six pack of beer and a folding chair. I'm going to get as close to Westover as I can, light up a smoke, crack open a beer and spend my last few minutes on this earth enjoying the light show when the bombs go off. Either that or I'm going to stock up on ammo and prepare to defend my family.

Not sure which yet.

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I'm going to get creative with some web stuff in the next few weeks simply because when it comes to learning something, actually doing it is the best way to learn it.

I'm going to start with a simple login screen that stores one-way hashed passwords in mysql database. I want to see if I can create a secure storage repository. After that, maybe some crude/rudimentary storage repository that makes sharing large files a lot simpler and more secure.

Hey, it's either that or I'm going to start hanging out in bars because I really need something to take the place of baseball.

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Speaking of baseball, it looks like the commissioner, Robert Manfred, won't be attending any baseball games in Kalamazoo, MI.

It's beginning to look more and more like we won't be seeing any MLB games in the near future. Both sides are busy blaming the other side for being stubborn and neither side is willing to talk about what they want.

In the meantime, all us baseball fans get to sit around and pray that NESN is smart enough to carry Worcester Red Sox games instead of reruns of old Charlie Moore episodes.

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Time to make some dinner and then watch some bad television.

You can check these out if you want:

• This is a very lucky Ukrainian.



• Because we have a liberal-minded president, he's going to live a long life. Unlike Martin Richard, who only got to live for eight short years.



• It'll probably still take 45 minutes to get your food.



• You gotta love The Sun (U.S. version). They break all the hard-hitting news stories.



• Key phrase in this story: "The school does not need to teach our children how to do oral sex,” she said. “That’s my job."



• Only in Florida.