It might be time

I got to thinking about some things today and it occured to me that I've only seen my buddies once since March when we got together for some "pizza" at Tommy's place on a Friday afternoon in June.

The reason I haven't seen them is because of the 'rona.

But I've come to the conclusion that I have a far better chance of getting 'rona when I go grocery shopping or over to Home Depot with a bunch of muddle-headed strangers who probably just got back from a Florida vacation than I do sitting at a "restaurant table" with three guys I've known for years and who would tell me if they had 'rona.

I'm gonna be pissed if I spend the rest of the year not hanging out with my friends and I still end up with 'rona from the muddle-headed grocery store people.

I think I'm gonna have to make another "pizza" stop one of these days.

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This is from 2014 but it's still relevant in 2020. It's from one of my favorite websites, The Onion:

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They are saying a hurricane/tropical storm is heading our way. They are saying Tuesday may be kind of nasty.

They say a lot of things...

Here's what I know. Warm water has pushed pretty far north in the Atlantic. Here's a map showing the bulge:

As you can see, the warm tropical water temps are all the way up to New York, Connecticut and Rhode Island. The Cape and Islands aren't much cooler.

Warm ocean water is what drives and feed hurricanes. That means that any tropical depression that moves up the coast in the form of a hurricane will probably remain a hurricane as it enters New England waters.

I don't know about you but I'm gonna make sure my generator and my fuel containers are full.

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The Red Sox are on a two-game winning streak and are no longer tied for last place in the MLB. That honor goes to the Angels and the Diamondbacks who both have a 2-5 record.

The Red Sox are taking on the Yankees tonight so I'm hoping that kid Weber turns things around and I wake up tomorrow morning to find they have a three-game winning streak.

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Here are some links:

• Is anyone shocked by this? I'm not shocked by it.



• Maybe he has a foot fetish.



• Killing Kittens would be a great name for a 1980's big-hair girl band.



• I think Graham Clark is about to find out that hacking rich people and politicians is a bad idea.



• Mexico - Trying to be as nutty as Japan.

The perfect SNL skit occurred today

If SNL does not do a skit of the conversation between these two, they might as well just stop making shows.

The frightening looking little nerd on the left is Congressman Jerry "My tie is way too tight and my collar is way to big!" Nadler of New York's 10th congressional district. The poorly designed robot on the right is Mark "My tie does not have adequate tightness but my collar is within acceptable tolerances." Zuckerberg of facebook fame.

I did not listen to their conversation because it occurred as part of yet another worthless and meaningless set of hearings being run by our incredibly screwed up House of Representatives. The last thing I want to listen to is a hearing on anti-trust. It's nothing more than one group of rich guys trying to make another group of rich guys look bad.

I don't like any of them and I think both sides are nothing more than a collection of arrogant jerks shouting about how important they are and waving their tiny, flaccid dicks around trying to prove who has the bigger one.

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Speaking of arrogant pricks, our esteemed President has decided that he can dictate his own constitutional laws because he "knows the upcoming election will be corrupt".

The constitution dictates how and when an election occurs, not Donald "My pants are way too tight and my hair is way too loose!" Trump, the slumlord from New York City.

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Speaking of worthless jerks, we are 6 months into this pandemic and Nancy "My face is way too tight and my... nevermind." Pelosi is just getting around to mandating masks on the floor of the House.

As a society, we really need to reevaluate who we elect to office. None of them seem to be doing an adequate job.

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The Red Sox won last night. They are still tied for last place in the MLB but hey, at least the have a one game winning streak.

Perez is pitching tonight and his last outing was less than stellar. Hopefully tonight is better for him and the team in general. They could use a two game winning streak...

While I watch baseball, you can click on these links:

• I might find this a little concerning if it happened to me.



• Only in Florida.



• Don't plant the seeds.



• I don't understand "fashion".



• We should have a "National Knucklehead Hall Of Fame" and it should be located in either Florida or the Jersey shore. Maybe South Boston but only if the other two places don't want it.



• Here's your Naked Guy, and Girl, In The News story.



• Cows aren't very bright.

The Red Sox should have opted out

The only way the Red Sox could get any worse would be if they started playing double headers and lost two games a day instead of just the one a day they are losing now.

They are currently 1-4 which puts them in a tie for the worst record in MLB.

Evoldi is on the mound tonight so I'm hoping he continues the dominance he displayed in the home opener and beats the Mets.

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This is my new favorite video.

I love the line, "Why don't I have a high approval rating?"

It ranks right up there with, "But nobody likes me..."

I will not be shocked if in the next few weeks he starts calling Biden a big stinky head.

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Well, time for me to run over to Home Depot and pick up a nice straight piece of poplar and then over to Red Robin to pick up dinner.

Then I'll settle in to watch some baseball.

Then I'll fall asleep on my couch.

Then I'll wake up and go to bed where I'll lie there, wide awake, because I fell asleep on the couch and now I'm not tired.

You can enjoy these links:

• Save The Scrotum!



• This does not surprise me.



• Another reason for me to move to New Hampshire.



• This woman is a night feeder. She drinks the blood of the innocent.

My lawn is dead.

My lawn guy tells me that it's not really dead but I don't believe him. It looks pretty dead to me.

Oh well, I guess we start all over again in the fall.

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The Red Sox are in full suck mode and we are only 5 games into the season. Pitching is their big problem and unless someone steps up and starts to act like a starter, they can kiss this season goodbye.

Last night's starter, Osich, didn't too very well. He only pitched two innings and gave up two earned runs. Tonight's starter is a guy named Hall who got DFA'd by the Tigers and the Red Sox picked him up for a song.

Like last night, if this kid Hall is pitching well and the Red Sox have a lead, I'll continue to watch the game. I suspect, however, that once again I will be going to bed at 9:30, just like last night.

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Here are some links that you can click on:

• Key phrase in this story: "...Roton tried to restrain one of the victims with a bra..."



• The Iranians are attacking models.
  Not fashion model kind of model, the kind of models you made as a kid.



• Only in Florida.



• He probably doesn't care because he's probably really drunk.



• Here's your Naked Guy In The News story.



• Yes, cocaine was involved.



• Australia: What doesn't try to kill ya, leaves stains in the bar.



• This is why you shouldn't tie yourself to your spouse.

Damn, it's really hot.

Mr. Willis Carrier is my hero.

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The Red Sox are hosting the Mets this evening and I'm not entirely sure what to expect. The starting pitcher is some guy name Osich. He was a late signing (non-tendered by the White Sox) and no one is overly impressed with him.

I'm hoping he steps up and impresses the shit out of everyone. I'm hoping he is another flame-thrower who can go 7 innings and keep the runs to a minimum. I'm hoping that he does what needs to be done to win the game.

I'm also hoping to hit the lottery but since I haven't bought a ticket in more than six months, I don't think that's gonna happen.

⧫

I'm going to watch some baseball. If the Red Sox are losing by the time 9:30 rolls around, I'll be going to bed. If they are winning, I'll stay awake to watch the whole nine innings. Oh, and if they win because Osich pitched well, maybe I'll go buy a lottery ticket.

Here are some links that you can click on:

• I want to get one of these.



• First the Flint Water Crisis and now this. I guess Michigan is run by money-hungry assholes. 



• I have a feeling that this was no accident.



• I'm betting there were no masks and social distancing was not enforced.



• Key phrase in this story: "...due to him sharing his medical marijuana with his friends but not her."



• He probably won't do that again.



• The town of Festus is in mourning.
  (There's a town named Festus?)



• Key entry from our favorite police blotter: "12:13 p.m. Taco Bell received a prank call."

Damn, it's hot

And it's going to get hotter.

Thank goodness for air conditioning.

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I was not a fan of Regis Philbin but I will say that he seemed like a decent enough guy. He struck me as a guy that if he sat down next to me at the bar, I'd probably end up talking with him before the evening was over.

We need more people like him in our world.

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Red Sox played at 1:30 this afternoon and lost 7-4 to the Orioles.

Their pitching sucks and their hitting isn't a lot better. It's like watching a little league team. The pitchers are bouncing the ball to the plate and the hitters are doing that "hesitancy" thing they do when they have no idea if they should swing or take. That is a timing issue and I know it will improve as the season goes on.

In other baseball news, "multiple" players on the Florida Marlins have just tested positive for the 'rona. CBS is saying at least 3 but that's a guess.

Let's hope this thing doesn't get out of hand. if too many players on too many teams test positive, they will cancel the season and I'll be back to watching 20 year old ball games.

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Every once in a while, I like to run a speed test. This is what my router gets for speed:

Remember when we were all excited about those "super fast" 56k dial-up modems?

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Enjoy these links:

• You can sign up to be a 'rona guinea pig. I'm thinking about it.



• Australia: What doesn't kill ya, tries to kill ya.



• Here's one from the "Man Bites Dog" files...



• 2020 just keeps getting better and better.



• Here's your (almost) Naked Guy Wearing His Mask In The News story.



• Only in Florida.

They win some, they lose some

Last night, the Red Sox beat the crap out of the Orioles. The final score of the game was 13-2.

Evoldi pitched a great game and I am hoping he stays healthy through the sixty game season. His arm is awesome. The first pitch he threw was 99mph. That's a hell of a first pitch.

Offensively speaking, nothing needs to be said about a team that scored 13 runs on 17 hits. That's some pretty stellar offense.

This afternoon was a different story and the Red Sox didn't do as well. They got beat by the Orioles 7-2. Perez made his first start and he kinda got his ass kicked when the Orioles scored 5 runs in the first inning.

Oh well, you win some, you lose some.

I find that I am not fully vested in the whole, "Let's win it all!" thing this season. I'm just really happy to be watching baseball again. And just so I'm clear, I not saying I'm happy when they lose. I'm just saying I'm happy to be watching them.

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While I figure out what I'm doing for dinner, you can visit these links:

• It's only a matter of time before local cops start arresting the feds for violating people's civil rights.



• Only in Florida.



• It's Missouri. The governor probably order the flags at half mast.



• Doesn't this fly in the face of separation of church and state?



• I suspect that in the near future, there will be a lot of available properties in and around God's Waiting Room.



• Key phrase in this story: "Obviously they’re not jewelry!"

And so it begins

At 7:30 this evening, the Red Sox will welcome the Orioles to Fenway Park and we will get to watch them play baseball.

All I have to say about that is:

It's about freakin' time.

And that is all I have to say about that.

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There are two things I never do anymore:

1. I don't go on facebook.
2. I don't go on Twitter.

There are three things I have never done:

1. I have never been on instagram.
2. I have never been on snapchat.
3. I have never been on tiktok.

Simply put, I have far more enjoyable ways to spend my time online than listening to a bunch of political bullshit from people that are so focused on their particular beliefs that they think everyone else is a moron.

I read four or five different news articles on the same subject so that I can form my own opinions. I do this because the news media all love to slant stories to meet their particular agenda.

I enjoy watching youtube videos of people doing things like woodworking, fixing a car, building stuff from arduino's (look them up), etc... far more than I would ever enjoy watching someone explain how terrible [insert name of politician] is and how everyone that doesn't [insert quirky societal belief] is a moron.

Social media, and media in general, has brought out the worst in us. Instead of being a tool that is bringing us together, it has driven a divisive wedge between us. The shit that promised to connect us has disconnected us and if you are using your social media to espouse your political beliefs, you are the problem.

Stop it.

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While I settle in to watch some much-missed baseball, you can settle in to click on these:

• Oh Canada.



• Here's something nice from Florida.



• I'm a cranky old guy who is kind of enjoying the solitude and quiet.
  (Just kidding. I can't wait to get back to living again.)



• Ripple and Boones Farm.

Damp days, damp nights.

Thank goodness for air conditioning.

⧫

We got some much needed rain this afternoon and it looks like it may get a little more this evening.

My watering gig seems to be paying off and the chestnut tree appears to be making a comeback. There are several new green shoots popping out on a few branches and the few mature leaves that were left are still there and still green.

Guess the guy at the garden center was right.

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The Red Sox and Blue Jays only managed to get in 2 innings before the rain hit and the game was cancelled. Too be honest with you, it's just as well because they weren't playing all the great.

Hopefully their home opener tomorrow night against the Orioles goes good for them.

And speaking of going better for them, a bunch of so-called "experts" over at CBS sports have made their predictions for the season. They all seem to think the Red Sox are going to suck and the New York Aaron Judges are going to win it all:

I'll try to remember to link back to these predictions on October 1st...

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Since there is no baseball or hockey (or football or golf), I guess I'll be watching some DVRs this evening.

While I do that, you can check out these links:

• This is actually a pretty good idea. Guess we'll see what happens.



• Only in Florida.



• Okay, $651,000 isn't anything to sneeze at but it sure isn't $95million.



• Wasn't this the plot of the movie Space Cowboys?

Not a bad game

The Red Sox lost 8-6 last night but it was a good game. Their starting pitcher, Weber, proved that he can do what he needs to do and when he left the game after 6 innings, the Red Sox were leading 6-4.

Barnes pitched the 7th and did just okay. he gave up a home run and a hit.

Workman pitched a great inning of relief in the 8th when the 3 Blue Jays batters stepped up and then sat down.

Braiser gave up a 2-run home run in the 9th and that pushed the Blue Jays into the lead.

Despite the loss, they did pretty good. Now we'll see what tonight's game brings.

If last night is any indication, my buddy Walt will be sending me text messages complaining about the pitching and I will be replying with texts agreeing with him.

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The market has been playing with my mind lately and I'm beginning to to think I might be better off going to the casino.

I can lose money playing Blackjack just as fast I can lose it in the market...

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Here are today's links:

• Another reason to avoid ticks.



• In Maine, they take their neighborhood feuds seriously.



• Texans are solving all the 'rona problems.



• Hey, free money is free money.

But it's a dry heat

According to the weather dweebs, we got up to 90 today. That's 4 days in a row of temps 90+. It only takes 3 days to make a heat wave so I assume 4 days is a heat tsunami.

On the up side, it wasn't quite as humid today as it has been over the last few days so I was able to keep the AC off and let some air in the house.

I love air conditioning but after several days of it, I like to open the place up and let the air circulate around a bit.

⧫

Trump is going to start up his 'rona news conferences again.

This should be entertaining.

I wonder what idiotic things will come out of his mouth. I can't wait to hear what he says to top the whole, "inject yourself with disinfectant!" thing.

Another thing Trump keeps saying is that there is, "Tremendous progress being made on Vaccines and Therapeutics!!!"

I can't wait to see what the cost is for a coronavirus vaccine injection. I'm betting at least $200 a pop at your local CVS.

⧫

NESN is carrying tonight's "spring training" game between the Blue Jays and the Red Sox. The game is on at 7:30 and I will watch as much of it as I can. I'm hoping to watch the entire thing but based on past experience, the game will last at least 3, possibly 4 hours and as we all know, that is past my bedtime.

So while I eat some dinner and get ready for some baseball, you can click on these.

Or not.

Your decision entirely.

• Only in Florida.



• Based on the disgusting way the average college student lives, I'd be worried too.



• Tip for you disgruntled ex-wives: The website rentahitman.com is fake. In other news, the websites wedelivercocaine.com and freegoldforeveryone.com are also fake.



• Since when is it illegal to hit a lamppost with a hammer?



• Randy Scots would be a great name for 1980s new wave band.

Everyone is getting along... kinda.

ABK (All Black Kitten) has decided that TSD (The Small Dog) is nothing more than a mild intrusion and she doesn't seem to mind when TSD licks her or sniffs her. ABK did get a little miffed when she was eating and TSD started drinking water out of the bowl right next to her. Seems that TSD might have splashed some water on ABK.

As for KWP (Kitten with White Paws), she hisses at TSD and has no desire to be her friend. She has, however, taken a liking to the Cat Condo:

This has been your kitten update.

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The BYEYJEP (Boring Yet Effective Yellow Jacket Elimination Project) is moving along. I checked it this morning and noticed that all of the dead ones from yesterday were either missing or chopped up. I suspect the survivors are feasting on them.

When I checked it this afternoon, there were several new cadavers laying on the ground.

This has been your BYEYJEP update.

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No baseball or hockey this evening. Guess I'll have to watch some DVRs.

While I do that, you can do these:

• Just in case you forgot.



• We need to find out who this guy is so we can vote for him. This is the kind of guy we need in office.



• When you gotta sculpt, you gotta sculpt.



• 2020 just keeps getting better and better...

Not a busy day today

Yesterday was kind of busy which is why I forgot to post something.

Today, however, was not busy at all. It's freakin' hot out there and the last thing I wanted to do today was, well, anything.

So having said that, let's see if we can make up for yesterday's lack of data by getting a little wordy today.

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I was trying to make a wood "circle" to use as a frame for screen that will go over my daughter fish bowl. Since I have a multitude of wood scraps left over from my various projects, I figured I would just cut up a bunch of small pieces of wood at 22.5° angles, glue them up in the shape of an octagon and use that as the frame.

Unfortunately, I don't have anything that has a 22.5° angle. It's not an uncommon angle in woodworking (half of 45°) but I just don't have a protractor. It's possible to simple draw a 45° triangle, measure up half of one of the legs and draw a line from the opposite 45° point to the halfway mark of the leg. That will give me the 22.5° angle that I want.

But I have a better idea. I now have an excuse to replace a tool I lost years ago called a "speed square".

If you've never used one to mark your cuts or as a saw guide, you don't know what your missing. They are handy as hell for everything from framing a house to building a grandfather clock or, in this case, to make an octagon that will be used to frame a circular bowl opening.

I'm always looking for excuses to buy new tools.

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We received three of these at my house yesterday. We did not ask for them, they just came to us unannounced and unneeded.

I can't help but wonder how much of my tax dollars were spent to print and mail these notices to every registered voter in Massachusetts? Because I'm willing to bet that 95% of the people that received one are not planning on voting by mail.

My state just loves to piss away money.

⧫

I am attempting to kill some yellow jackets living in a hole in my front yard without turning myself into a wasp pincushion.

If this were a paper nest hanging in a tree, it would be easy - wait until dark, soak the nest with wasp & hornet spray and then hit it with the hose the next morning to knock it out of the tree.

Unfortunately, they have chosen an old chipmonk hole to make their nest in and my preferred method of ground insect destruction has been vetoed by my wife. My tried and true method of two tablespoons of gunpowder down the hole followed by a lit match has been labeled, "Are you crazy? You'll blow the house up."

So I'm trying a method recommended by someone on the internet who apparently practices "safe but boring" methods of wasp elimination. Last night I went out and placed small glass bowls over the two holes. For the record, only one of the holes had any activity but since they are only a few feet apart, I assume they are connected somehow.

So I got curious around 2:00 this afternoon and went out to take a look.

I'll be damned, there are a dozen or so dead yellow jackets laying on the ground around the hole that had the activity. Here's a real shitty picture of a few of them (circled in red):

While using the "safe but boring" method appears to be working, I told my wife I still thought pouring a little gunpowder down there would be best. She just smiled and said, "How about we stick with this. It's working. Besides, if you pour gunpowder down the whole, you're gonna have to let the boys know and they'll have to drive all the way here from New Hampshire and Framingham to see the fun."

Boring...

But she's right. I can't do this without my boys here to see it. They would be very disappointed if I lit off gunpowder in a hole without them here.

⧫

I watched the Yankees play the Mets, then I watched some Bearing Sea Gold DVRs that I had.

Now I'm going to fall asleep early because guess what the kittens decided to do at 4:00 this morning? They decided to start batting around a plastic ball with a bell inside of it. This, of course, got The Small Dogs attention and she insisted that I go with her to investigate the source of the sound.

Most of the time I really like having pets. That was not one of those times.

While I nod off, you can click on these:

• Here's your Naked Guy In The News story.
  (Apparently Jesus was involved)



• Don't forget the ammo. You can never have enough ammo.



• It's like the 1970's all over again.



• Speaking of Iran...



• Something tells me he isn't her boyfriend anymore.



• Key phrase in this story: "...the disk grinder launched the steel post about 60 yards at high speed..."
  (For the record, 60 yards is more than half a football field)

Oops

I forgot to post something yesterday.

Oh well.

I can confirm that they purr

Despite being born in the wild and never really having any human contact until the shelter, I can confirm that the two fuzzballs do indeed enjoy being petted and are capable of purring quite loudly.

They are slowly beginning to learn that no one is going to do them any harm and while they still hide under the couches, once brought out and set on our laps, the snuggle in and start purring.

We are pleased to learn that they can purr.

And eat. We are kind of amazed at how much two little tiny kittens can eat.

And poop. We are also pretty amazed at how much two little kittens can poop.

These are small yet powerful digesting machines.

As for The Small Dog, she really wants to be friends with them. She keeps licking them and sniffing them and nudging them. They, on the other hand, are either ambivalent or pissed, depending on which one is the object of her attention. One just looks at her and then ignores her. The other one gives off the tiniest little hiss that has no effect on The Small Dog and shrinks down into a ball.

This has been your kitten update.

⧫

Tonight's baseball game is from 2018 and I can assure you that I will watch it.

We are currently 4 days away from live baseball when the Red Sox will play the Blue Jays in a "spring training" game. We are currently 7 days away from the Home Opener against the Orioles.

In case you are wondering, yes, I'm looking forward to it.

While I watch old baseball, you can click these links:

• Australia: What doesn't kill ya, tries to wash you out to sea.



• By the time 2020 is over, we are going to have a severe shortage of cops, nurses and teachers.



• Oh Canada.



• Key phrase in this story: "Well, I’m hilarious, and I have a great sense of humor. And ejaculating penises are also hilarious."

Presenting the fuzzballs

My wife and daughter picked these two creatures up from a shelter yesterday.

These two sisters were born in an alley to a stray mom so they aren't really used to relating to humans. As a matter of fact, they spend the majority of their time under heavy furniture and when we fish them out, they are not really happy with us.

But given enough time and attention, they will turn into reasonably happy members of our house and make this their home.

Until then, they'll just have to get used to being dragged out from under the couch with a broom.

As for The Small Dog, she wants nothing more than to be their special friend. She wants to play!

They, on the other hand, want nothing to do with her. They would like to be left alone. They would like her to go chase rabbits or squirrels or chipmonks or something.

⧫

At some point I will watch a little baseball. Maybe I'll do it with a kitten on my lap.

While I do that, you should consider clicking on these:

• I should have bought stock in Reckitt Benckiser.



• "...accidentally sliced off his finger while preparing food a few days beforehand" and no one thought to maybe look for it or maybe throw the meat he was slicing away?



• Remember, you can never have enough ammo.



• In case you actually want to talk to one...

We have a cat condo

We also have kittens but since they are hiding under some really heavy furniture, I don't have any pictures of them.

What I do have is a picture of the cat condo:

Eventually, once the kittens decide that no one, including The Small Dog, is going to kill them, we will hang some toys off it so they learn to play there and scratch that instead of any of our furniture.

When that happens, I will take a picture of them.

Until then, just pretend there are two little, tiny black kittens in the above picture.

Oh, and for the record, The Small Dog doesn't want to hurt the kittens. She just wants to mother them. She wants to lick them and herd them and love them. The problem is that she is kind of an aggressive licker. (Yes, I realize the "Aggressive Licker" would be a great name for a 1990s punk rock band.)

⧫

Tonight's baseball game is from 2016.

While I watch the game and make sure The Small Dog isn't licking the fur off the kittens, you can visit these links:

• This is the hill he chose to die on? Over a face mask? He was an idiot and his demise has increased our overall societal intellect.



• Remember when we were going through food and toilet paper shortages? Well, get ready for it to happen again.



• I probably should have sold my shares....



• Huh. That's an interesting dilemma.

Cat condo is back on track.

The hut is attached, the scratching post is attached and the base is covered in carpet. Next up is covering the hut with carpet.

Once the carpeting is done, I'll add a small platform to the top of the post and some "feet" to the bottom so it doesn't scratch to the floor.

After that, it's just a matter waiting 6 months and then throwing it away after we realize that the cats don't want to have anything to do with it.

⧫

Tonight's baseball game is from September of 2015.

While I watch that, you can click on these:

• Lassen Park and The Angry Otters would be a fantastic name for a 1980's new wave band.



• Key phrase in this story: "Luckily, [the bear] wasn't really after me."



• Winner of the Headline Of The Month award.



• Only in Florida.

Cat condo is at a standstill

After working on the cat condo on Sunday, we looked at what we had and re-evaluated what we wanted.

We ended up making the decision to pare it down a bit and flip the post so the bottom half is carpet and the top half is natural rope. The "hut" will remain the same but the height of the post will be cut down by about 6 inches.

The post and hut are glued on to the base and tomorrow I will screw them down so they are held in place by more than just glue. Then we'll carpet the base and hut and it will be done in time for the arrival of the little fuzzballs on Wednesday.

I'm betting good money they'll ignore it and scratch the shit out of our furniture.

⧫

I'm going to watch some old baseball. Don Orsillo and Jerry Remy weill be calling the game.

I miss Orsillo. He always made me enjoy the game even when they were losing.

While I enjoy this game, you can enjoy these links:

• It would piss me off to find that someone had stolen the exhaust system off my car.



• Hey there California, welcome to the club.



• 2020 just keeps getting better and better.



• Key entry from our favorite police log: "2 p.m. A big sister had the last laugh when her annoying little brother accidentally called 911 while trying to break into her phone."



• I honestly believe this guy lies all the time. He lies to us, he lies to his family, he lies to his employees, hell, he even lies to himself.

I mowed my dead grass

About 50% of my lawn is brown, dead grass, another 10% is crab grass/weeds that have moved into the areas with the dead grass is and the remaining 40% is nice healthy green grass that gets long. That means I have to mow it and since the good stuff is scattered throughout the dead stuff, I have to mow the whole lawn.

So I did.

⧫

If you live in Massachusetts, I would like you to write your state senator right now in support of three amendments to the Police Reform Bill that is in the Senate.

Eric Lesser is my state senator so this is what I wrote. You can copy and paste, change the name & email address to your senator and

To: eric.lesser@masenate.gov
Subject: Police Reform Bill S.2800

Senator Lesser,

I am a resident of the town of Wilbraham and a registered voter.
I am a supporter of law enforcement and I ask that you vote yes for the following amendments to the Police Reform Bill (S.2800):
114 - Representation on POSAC.
134 - Opportunity for Appeal.
137 - Special Commission to Study Qualified Immunity.

Thank you for your attention.
My Name Was Here
My Address Was Here.

Those three amendments are designed to give law enforcement the means to do their jobs. The police reform bill is looking more and more like something that will prevent cops from actually doing their jobs. And if the police can't do their jobs, it will fall on the shoulders of all of us to protect our person and property from those that would do us harm.

Personally, I would rather have the police be able to do their jobs than have to spend a lot of money stocking up on ammo.

Not that I have a problem with stocking up on ammo. As far as I'm concerned, you can never have enough ammo.

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While you write an email to your state senator, I'm going to watch the 1999 All Star Game.

After you finish your email, you can click on these:

• Key phrase in this story: "The store owner advised the suspect that he did not have any money and threw a pizza at him..."



• If I were Canada, I wouldn't do it.



• Well this sounds like a kinda bad day.



• Here's a thought - Next time you overhear one person speaking to another person that is not you, how about you mind your own damn business.



• Yes, drugs and probably alcohol were involved.



• I wonder if the "themed decoration" was a giant bra holding up two giant boobs?

Man, I do not miss that place

I decided to find out what my life was like 5 years ago so I pulled up my post from July 11, 2015.

I am very, very glad I do not work for that organization any longer. Don't misunderstand, they gave me a great career for 20 years, a good career for 5 years, a crappy career for 5 years and a nice little retirement package. I enjoyed the people I worked with and, let's face it, I never had to do anything that caused me injuries or harm.

All in all, it gave me and my family a good life. Towards the end, it turned into a shitty place to be but still not terrible.

But as a pretty bright man once said to me, "You have no idea how much stress you are under until you are no longer under it."

Having been out of that stressful environment for the last 4 years has certainly made my life better. I no longer pop famotidine and tums like candy, I don't stop for drinks all the time, I've received about 3 phone calls from work in the 4 years I've been there and I still see the people I worked with at MM over the aforementioned 30 year career.

I miss the large salary but I'm substantially happier now than I was then.

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Here are some links:

• This is why speed cameras should be outlawed.



• Another reason why I don't eat sushi or sashimi.



• Today I learned there is a town in New Jersey called Ho-Ho-Kus.



• Dear 2020, please stop.

We're building a cat condo

My wife and daughter have decided that we need two kittens. They found two sisters that are all of about 8 weeks old and those two need to come live with us. So sometime next week, we will be bringing home two little fur-bearin' critters to join the hoard of fur-bearin' we currently have living here.

Cats, especially kittens, like to scratch at things. Particularly furniture things. My daughter and I are in the processes of trying to build something that is more attractive to them than our couches.

I acquired two 3 foot long 2x4s, trimmed them to 3 inches wide, knocked off the corners at a 45° angle and glued them together so they form a 3 foot long, 3 inch wide, eight-sided post. That post will be wrapped tightly in manilla rope to form a scratching post that I really hope the cats think is the best thing since momma's milk.

The post will be put on a base along with a "house" that the cats can go into or sit on. It will also have a platform at the top of the post that gives them something to climb up on and survey their kingdom.

I can't wait until The Small Dog meets The Little Kittens. It's gonna be fun for all concerned.

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Enjoy these links while I figure out what to do about carpet on the kitty condo:

• Jason Varitek as an umpire is an interesting picture.



• Our long national nightmare is over.



• Apparently the British like to run around and do other things while naked.
  (I'm thinking the "naked baking" thing might be a bit dangerous.)



• I suppose it depends on who's playing. Barry Manilow or Neil Diamond probably cause a lot of stress but I'm betting they love Jimmy Buffett or Pink Floyd.



• Add this to the list of many reasons that I don't go to New York City.



• Yea, covid-19 and probably a few other diseases.



• Yes, alcohol was eventually involved.

Proof that I have a heart (and lungs)

Four or five years ago, my doctor signed me up for a program that Baystate Health is running for ex-smokers. It's pretty simple - every year I go to Baystate Imaging and they do a low-grade CT scan of my lungs. The idea is that they can compare the results to last year, looking for changes and hopefully catching any lung cancer in the early stages.

I have no inane fear of coming down with lung cancer but since the process is quick and simple, I keep doing it.

Well, that and the fact the send me these cool images every year:

The black areas are my lungs (clear of any gerb, smegma or fleck), the grey area in the middle is proof that I do indeed have a heart and the bright white areas are bones. Basically, you are looking down from above at my spine, my lungs, my heart, my ribs and various other innards.

I personally think that's pretty cool.

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Tonight's baseball game is only 3 years old but the big thing to remember is that as of today, we are only 15 days away from actual live baseball being played.

While I watch old baseball and hockey, can click on new links and stuff:

• Seriously, you need to watch the video on this one.



• Key phrase in this decision from the Supreme Court: "We reaffirm that principle today and hold that the President is neither absolutely immune from state criminal subpoenas seeking his private papers nor entitled to a heightened standard of need."



• In Indonesia, they don't have biker gangs, they have scooter gangs. Not sure if instead of fight club, they have "heated discussion club".



• I've never been to Shippensburg but I have been to a Sheetz. No, I don't know what Boom Boom Sauce is.



• If your swimming pool catched on fire, it's safe to say that you're doing something wrong.
  (Attention Alanis Morissette, it is ironic that the pool is owned by the volunteer fire company)

It's a great day.

My eldest sent me an email this morning that said, "Did you see Gary Larson was doing stuff again?" I replied back, "No, but I'll take a look."

So I took a look.

Turns out that Larson has decided that he loved drawing cartoons a lot. He also discovered something called "the digital tablet".

I discovered that starting yesterday (July 7), he began posting brand new material.

WooHoo! Gotta love Larson!

Two of Larson's cartoons have stuck with me ever since the day I saw them.

1 - Cardboard Armor

2 - Flunk History

Gary Larson has an amazing & interesting sense of humor and our world is a better place because of it.

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I spent some time at the vet clinic today to see if we could set up their new internet connection.

They've had Charter/Spectrum internet with an ancient router for a while now but things have been less than stellar for them. Particularly in the WiFi area. Unfortunately, they had purchased a new modem/router unit and Spectrum does not allow business accounts to purchase their own modem.

So end result was they are back the way they were, running an ancient 2.4g modem. I gave them my recommendation for a new router (their modem is just fine) to provide them with good coverage throughout the clinic and the owner said, "That sounds good to me".

Maybe next week they'll have a nice mesh router setup providing them with ample WiFi coverage.

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You can enjoy these links if you want:

• Maybe this is why postage is up to 50 cents a letter.



• Only in Pennsylvania.



• Keeping alligators as pets just doesn't seem to be a good idea.



• Pfffttt... Lawyers....



• This is why I don't arm wrestle my kids. Well, that and the fact they could all beat me.

The schedule is out

On July 24th at 7:30pm, the Orioles will be at Fenway Park to play their opening day game against the Red Sox. I will be on my couch watching it all unfold on my television.

We will all be able to enjoy live baseball once again.

Well, most of us will enjoy it....

My wife could care less about baseball.

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Phase 3 of the 'rona release program began yesterday and I'm still not entirely sure what that means. I understand I can go bowling if I want.

My question is, "When are they gonna open the adult beverage centers?"

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Since it's not July 24th yet, I'll be watching a 12 year old baseball game this evening.

While I do that, you might find these entertaining:

• Australia: What doesn't kill ya, tries to kill ya.



• Corey Hannon sounds like a charming young man.



• Gentlemen, I give you the "Bourbon Moth"



• Key phrase in this story: "Take Natty Light (seriously, take it, we don't want it)."



• Taxidermy at it's finest.



• Yes, alcohol was involved.



• If you need an excuse to get fatter, here it is.

By unanimous decree

The Supreme Court today issued a decision by unanimous consent regarding the electoral college and what is known as "faithless electors".

States chose our President through a process known as the electoral college. In almost every state, the laws dictate that the elector must follow the popular vote but those laws had no federal teeth. The elector could, theoretically, vote for whomever they choose, defying the populace & state laws and the federal government would have no choice but to record the vote.

Now the SCOTUS has confirmed that the states have the right to do whatever they decide with faithless electors. This includes cancelling the errant vote and sanctioning the faithless elector.

Personally, I am very glad to hear that the SCOTUS has concluded that the electoral college is clearly defined by the constitution and it works. They confirmed that the states have the authority to elect our federal president and that the electors can't just go off on their own.

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While I watch a 17 year old baseball game, you can click on these links:

• Key phrase in this SCOTUS decision: "Americans passionately disagree about many things. But they are largely united in their disdain for robocalls."



• Four Foot Poo Shooters would be a really fantastic name for a 1990 country western duo.



• Key phrase in tis story: "...being in a situation where you’re being strip-searched and having people look into your body cavities."



• Years ago, I went drinking with a Scotsman. Based on that experience, the one thing I can tell you is this isn't going to end well.



• Between Bolton's book and this one, Trump is probably apoplectic.



• Don't you hate it when guests refuse to leave....

I'm really hoping they don't cancel the season

Looks like some players are opting out of this season and a few others are on the fence.

David Price has said he will not play for the Dodgers this season and Mike Trout has indicated that he is considering dropping out because his wife is pregnant and he doesn't want to risk bringin covid into his home.

I understand the concern but I also think if we life our lives bereft of any risks, we will lose something. We will become like rabbits - afraid to venture out, afraid that everything that moves will kill us....

Wait, rabbits are a bad example because basically everything that moves does kill them. I watch those owls take an adult rabbit and turn it into dinner for four.

Back to the subject of baseball, I hope they play. It would make the world a little more normal to have baseball back.

⧫

Time for dinner and then some DVRs.

Here are some links:

• I think this is normal for California.



• Only in Pennsylvania.



• Only in Florida.



• I have trouble getting rid of the modern weeds, we don't need any ancient weeds.



• This is what happens when a burning ember falls into a big ol' bucket of fireworks.



• I would never eat anything served from a place called "Yogurtland".

Merry Independence Day!

We had lawns to be mowed, adventures to run and guests to be fed so there was no time for internetage.

Here is a link or three:

• Oh Canada.



• Presenting this episodes Brilliant Criminal of the Month.



• Turns out Trump was kinda right - Mexico is closing the border.

"Spring" Training is going on.

MLB.tv was running a cycle of live video from each of the ballparks. Unfortunately, when they go to Fenway, they decided to shrink the live feed down to 25% of the screen and show a Jim Beam commercial on the other 75%. I couldn't tell who was taking batting practice but I could tell they kinda sucked.

I'm thinking everyone is out of shape and the first few games are going to look like the games my rec league teams used to put on when I was coaching the kids.

Won't matter to me because it will still be baseball.

⧫

We have gotten quite a bit of rain lately but it's too late for my lawn. In a lot of spots, it's deader'n a doornail and where it still shows life, I suspect it won't be looking nice and green until next spring.

I should have invested in a grass seed company instead of an airline.

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Tonight is game 5 of the 2018 World Series. Spoiler alert: The Red Sox win, taking the series 4 games to 1.

While I do that, you can do these:

• Key really gross phrase in this story: "...the need to use fingers to evacuate..."



• I'm betting that in his mind, "shining success" means, "Millions are dead but I'm just fine!"



• Only in Florida.



• You people need to stop now.



• Here's your Naked Guy In The News story.



• Only in Pennsylvania.

Many errands got run today.

Not a lot of internet time today simply because we were running errands most of the day.

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One thing I wanted to let you know about. The MLB has released the following statement:

2020 Season Update
The regular season is anticipated to begin on July 23-24.

MLB has submitted a proposed 60-game schedule to the MLBPA to review. It has not yet been finalized.

To limit travel distances, teams would play a majority of games against their division opponents (40, or 10 against each division opponent) and the rest against their geographic counterpart in the other league (in other words, AL East vs. NL East, AL Central vs. NL Central, AL West vs. NL West).

So we have that to look forward to.

It took me more than a few minutes to remember that Ron Roenicke is the manager of the Red Sox and Alex Cora is considered persona non grata.

I hope Roenicke manages as well as Cora did because those guys played their heart out for Cora. Even if he was the mastermind behind the "interesting method" the Astros had in place to let the batter know what the pitcher was going to throw, he was a hell of a manager.

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First hockey, then game 4 of the 2018 World Series tonight.

Enjoy these links:

• What possesses someone to study duck poop?



• What they lack in common sense they more than make up for in a complete and utter disregard for others.



• I've seen a mayfly hatching along the Great Lakes. Nothing is safe when those things swarm.



• I can't help but wonder if the people doing the testing don't think it's an 'easy win'.



• Key phrase in this story: "...or if they all made it through the ordeal safely..."



• If you want to be really annoyed for 2 minutes, click here.

Warning: Many words ahead...

I decided to go into the office today and three other folks showed up as well. I guess I'm not the only one who is doing the "gradual return to work" thing.

Now if I can figure out how to do the "gradual return to a social life" thing.

⧫

When the talking heads on the news do one of those news stories about "the latest polls", I always think about all the polls showing Clinton ahead of Trump. The reason they said that is because they only looked at one or two polls. This is a bad way to make a prediction.

Let's say you are conducting a poll on, oh, I don't know, let's say you wanted to know if golf was more popular than darts. So you get your clipboard and set off to ask 100 people the following question:

Do you prefer to play golf or play darts?

If 80 people say they prefer golf, you would have a poll that says, "Overwhelming number of people (80% margin of error ±3%) prefer golf over darts!"

Now here is the twist. What if you asked 100 Englishmen who were hanging out in pubs with dart boards? I'm betting you would have a poll that says, "A incredible number of people (99% margin of error ±1%) prefer darts over golf!"

See how that works?

It depends on who your target audience is. It depends on who you ask.

Oh sure, the pollsters try to avoid situations like that but when you consider the type of individual who responds to polls, you begin to understand why polls are bullshit. People that respond to polls are people who think their opinion is important. They like telling people what they think. They know what's best and they're gonna let everyone know it! In other words, they are basically the same people you see at every protest in Northampton.

I can't speak for most old, fat, bald white guys but I know that when I get a call from someone who starts by saying, "Hi. I'm calling from blah-blah-blah and I'm wondering if you have a time to answer a few questions", I say, "No" and then hang up the phone. My opinion is none of their damned business.

One of my favorite political websites is 538 (fivethirtyeight.com). They don't conduct polls, they collect the data from polls, grade the process the pollster used and then aggregate all the data from those polls that pass their muster.

In other words, they try to offset any poll bias by putting everything together, thus erasing the bias.

It's looking like Trump is a one-term president, which I'm good with. What I'm not good with is Biden. The last thing we need is an Obama clone. Obama did more damage to this country than Carter did back in the 70s.

⧫

Here are some links:

• Here's a tip for all the alleged researchers out there: If you want to see how animals live, don't send something dressed as food to spy on them. This is like sending a robot dressed as an antelope to spy on a pride of lions.



• Apparently islam forbids booze but meth is okay.



• This is the most entertaining minute and a half you will spend this evening.



• I'd go have a beer at a bar named Pubby McDrunkface.



• Covid is never going to go away as long as Floridians are in charge of Florida.